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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by hyperfocus on March 22, 2011, at 16:37:49
So I wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, head upstairs to do some work. Everybody's gone out. My dog comes in from patrolling the perimeter and lays down on the rug. Then I think I hear something. Then my dog pricks up her ears and starts getting excited. She's wagging her tail and looking at me, not like 'Warning, danger.." but like "Hey there's something I wanna show you - you're not gonna believe this."
m'kay
She's looking at the door to my brother's room. Then I distinctly hear person noises and like...music?. So I look at her and say "what the heck?" Everybody's gone out. But she's 1/2 pit and 1/2 lab so very little goes on around our house without her knowing. So I go and knock on his door. Anybody there? No answer. I do it a second time, a bit sterner.
Then this teenage girl who I've never seen before opens the door.
m'kay
Cut a long story short - she and my brother planned to 'hang out today.' Which is cool, I guess, because I'm not interested in my brother's life. They're both 19 (or so she says, which could or could not be true.) But when I was growing up we didn't really do this kind of thing (before university, anyway.) And it sounds just like my brother to leave her here when he knew he had to go out. Then in the course of trying to get to know her better (since I didn't know what else to do) I ask her where she's from. She lives in another town about 25mi away. So I ask where she and my brother met.
She says "on Facebook"
m'kay
I didn't really tell her anything because like I say it's not my business. But I really wonder what her mother and/or/father would say if they knew their daughter had left her home early this morning to go hang out with a guy in another town she met on Facebook. She spent the night here too.
m'kay
Back in my day (yeah uphill both ways in the snow, whatever) the only way that two people could communicate with each other was over the phone - which was usually located in a conspicuous place in the home. It's not that kids couldn't do this sort of thing, it was just harder. Nowadays we got Facebook and text and email and apparently doing stuff like this is the norm. Personally I'd be madder than hell if I knew my daughter did something like that. For the whole day I kept idly wondering if her father wasn't going to show up in front our house with a shotgun or something.
I've seen so many naked pictures of teenage girls taken in their bathroom mirror that it doesn't even interest me anymore. And I've seen a sex video of at least one teenage girl who's from our town and there's others which I have no interest in - it's so common most people are like blase about it. But like I was telling my mom, what these kids do with technology can really hurt them. Once you copy a video or picture - that's it, there's no way of ever destroying it. Everybody on PB knows how hard it is to erase info about them on the internet. These girls trust their boyfriends, think they'll always be together, want to be sexy and edgy and grown up. Beyonce and Lady gaga and all the rest telling them to let their bfs take pictures of them on their phone. And then one day everybody in the school gets to see them naked, or worse. That girl in the video is going to have that follow her for the rest of her life; when she's looking for a job are her employers going to see it too?
Nowadays there's Facebook and SMS and camera phones and it seems there's absolutely no way to monitor who your kid is communicating with or what they are sending each other. I'm not really looking forward to raising kids in 2020. I'm a programmer - I work with computers all day but the social and moral side of technology didn't really register with me til I met somebody's daughter who arranged a hookup over at my house.
Posted by Phillipa on March 22, 2011, at 19:11:25
In reply to Kids today, posted by hyperfocus on March 22, 2011, at 16:37:49
Totally different today I don't even know how to text someone, no smartphone. But I was married with a child at age 19. We'd babysit for his little brother and do you know what. No pics though. I do know what you mean. Not good as far as I'm concerned. Phillipa
Posted by no rose garden on March 22, 2011, at 23:34:07
In reply to Re: Kids today » hyperfocus, posted by Phillipa on March 22, 2011, at 19:11:25
Agreed, not good. It's scary what's happened and what may continue to happen w/o parents knowing. Also, I think with all this internet stuff, people really let their guard down, which is dangerous too.. :/
Posted by BetweenDreams81 on March 25, 2011, at 22:06:57
In reply to Re: Kids today, posted by no rose garden on March 22, 2011, at 23:34:07
new to this message board, hope you don't mind me chiming in :0)
It also makes me wonder what the parents are thinking though when they give their kids cell phones?!? Aren't there cell phones that only function on a handful of numbers ie: emergency calls only to certain people like mom and dad and maybe another adult emergency figure?? I would be a really unpopular mom...sorry, but my kids would not have a cell phone. Pressured from your children that they'll be made fun of and unpopular...sorry, deal with it!
Just heard on NPR (?) the other day that cell phones and facebook and other things that constantly interrupt focus actually "train their minds" for factory type labor positions rather than expansive thought which leads to entrepreneurial pursuits and having original ideas etc. required at the top wrung of the ladder.
Is this what our governments want?
Posted by floatingbridge on March 26, 2011, at 1:42:44
In reply to Kids today, posted by hyperfocus on March 22, 2011, at 16:37:49
Yeah. Weird and creepy.
The new thing to do:
One central home computer. It all happens at the kitchen table or hallway office. No being talked or tempted into porn. (See "Hold on to Your Kids").
Friending or having Auntie friend Adolescents FB.
But you know all this. As Yul Brenner in the King and I would say: etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Last year or so there was a wrenching NYT magazine piece about a young man who was pulled into a nightmare world of drugs and prostitution: how it happened, excruciatingly step by step, and all the real freaks* out their who profited. Highly triggering--a rare foray for me :(
yeah. And public telephones. I thought of just chucking my cell...then remembered that there aren't any phone booths.
Be well HP.
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2011, at 9:44:37
In reply to Kids today, posted by hyperfocus on March 22, 2011, at 16:37:49
I don't think they've changed all that much. Of course, I grew up in the seventies. *Not* a conservative time.
But then, and now as I see with my son and his friends, there have been good and responsible kids. In fact, the group of friends my son has is probably more responsible than my own group of friends was. And my own group was a really good group of kids. We exerted positive peer pressure on each other. :)
Every generation thinks the next one is going to h*ll in a handbasket.
The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they alone knew everything and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them.
Socrates
Posted by floatingbridge on March 26, 2011, at 12:29:17
In reply to Kids always, posted by Dinah on March 26, 2011, at 9:44:37
I love it :D
(The person with ptsd really does want to be tugged at reassuringly and see things more calmly.)
Yes.
Posted by sigismund on March 26, 2011, at 13:53:23
In reply to Kids always, posted by Dinah on March 26, 2011, at 9:44:37
>Every generation thinks the next one is going to h*ll in a handbasket.
I don't. Mine is much the worst. The next generation is saner, allowing for plenty of trivial nonsense.
Posted by emmanuel98 on March 26, 2011, at 18:59:18
In reply to Re: Kids always, posted by sigismund on March 26, 2011, at 13:53:23
My daughter and her friends (now in early 20s) are wonderful, hard-working, loving self-aware people and have been since 9th grade. I wish I had been that together when I was young. And they all use facebook and cell phones. When she was in HS however, she did not have a computer, except the family computer in my husband's office, nor did she have her own TV.
Posted by Phillipa on March 26, 2011, at 21:30:23
In reply to Re: Kids always, posted by emmanuel98 on March 26, 2011, at 18:59:18
My generation was the last of the Donna Reeds. One year after marriage Woodstock and Hippies emerged oh how I longed to be one. I feel that todays Mother's and Father's share more and are more responsible for the children as a team. Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2011, at 7:41:49
In reply to Re: Kids always, posted by emmanuel98 on March 26, 2011, at 18:59:18
My son only has internet access from the family room.
I think we'll keep it that way. Not for any particular reason based on him, but because it seems prudent.
He's not overly fond of texting or Facebook either. Perhaps when he's older he'll find it more of a draw.
Posted by floatingbridge on March 27, 2011, at 17:19:24
In reply to :) » emmanuel98, posted by Dinah on March 27, 2011, at 7:41:49
Parent moderated, family moderated, however I might phrase it, the central computer/family computer is a sensible safety check.
I am very (very) glad to hear folks are pleased and enjoying their kids.
fb
Posted by hyperfocus on March 31, 2011, at 0:46:10
In reply to Re: Kids today » hyperfocus, posted by Phillipa on March 22, 2011, at 19:11:25
> Totally different today I don't even know how to text someone, no smartphone. But I was married with a child at age 19. We'd babysit for his little brother and do you know what. No pics though. I do know what you mean. Not good as far as I'm concerned. Phillipa
Yeah well kids always, as Dinah says. But it seems like kids used to want to have sex because it felt really good. Nowadays it seems kids are into sex because MTV and BET and Britney Spears and Lady Gaga and Lil Wayne - on their TVs and computers and cellphones - are telling them that that's what the most important thing is in life. Bonus points if you get high and do it in a dirty bathroom at a frat house with somebody you don't know and record it. The more meaningless it is the better.
Posted by hyperfocus on March 31, 2011, at 0:49:49
In reply to Re: Kids today, posted by no rose garden on March 22, 2011, at 23:34:07
> Agreed, not good. It's scary what's happened and what may continue to happen w/o parents knowing. Also, I think with all this internet stuff, people really let their guard down, which is dangerous too.. :/
On the internet people can be whoever they want. This girl might be been 16 for all I know and my brother could have been 45. If a police car had pulled up in front of our house and asked why a 16 year old who was reported missing by her parents is in my house, what do I say?
Posted by sigismund on March 31, 2011, at 2:01:22
In reply to Re: Kids today, posted by hyperfocus on March 31, 2011, at 0:49:49
Would being 45 have improved his chances?
Posted by hyperfocus on March 31, 2011, at 5:08:31
In reply to Re: Kids today, posted by sigismund on March 31, 2011, at 2:01:22
Probably, unless he was one of her teachers or her best friend's father. What would have really killed his chances is if he had been hard-working and honest and really loved her and wanted to get married.
I know, I know too cynical. There are good kids out there, I know. I just wished they were on TV more instead of Skins and Jersey Shore.
Posted by sigismund on March 31, 2011, at 13:35:39
In reply to Re: Kids today » sigismund, posted by hyperfocus on March 31, 2011, at 5:08:31
I have actually watched Skins with my son. It's not brilliant but it is not annoyingly fake either.
There was a discussion between my wife and the son of my niece (maybe 4) about whether he felt like a kiss. He was doubtful and pointed out what nice skin he had as against hers. 'Mine is smooth, your is wrinkly'. I could be wrong but I imagine 45 year old men would give a teenager the horrors on a physical level, rather than with respect to considerations of money, power and status.
Posted by Dinah on April 1, 2011, at 9:07:33
In reply to Re: Kids today » sigismund, posted by hyperfocus on March 31, 2011, at 5:08:31
Well, kids studying hard, and involving themselves in the volunteer work that was originally a school requirement that later became a genuine interest, looking to their future and enjoying themselves quietly with friends doesn't make for such a good television audience.
What you're seeing is the fringe. Believe me, in the seventies there was a fringe too. And every bit as shocking to the average kid in the seventies as I suspect it is to the average kid today. Certainly morals have relaxed over the last decades, but I don't think we're in any danger of widespread moral depravity yet.
Posted by Dinah on April 1, 2011, at 9:10:50
In reply to Re: Kids today, posted by Dinah on April 1, 2011, at 9:07:33
Kids today are at one disadvantage though. It was so easy to shock and appall our parents. But when the parents grew up during the sixties, seventies, and perhaps later, kids are much less likely to shock them and far more likely to impress them.
Kids today do seem to have so much more social sensitivity than was common in my youth.
Posted by floatingbridge on April 1, 2011, at 11:32:16
In reply to Re: Kids today » hyperfocus, posted by sigismund on March 31, 2011, at 13:35:39
My 50+ hubby talking to 16 yo niece about Iron Man aka Mr. Downy Jr.
Niece: I think he's sooooooo, oooooo cute.
Hubby: um, [name of niece], he's like my age.
Niece, appalled: OMG, stop it. You're
kidding. Oh, that's disgusting. That's grossing me out.Niece: oh. That's just soooo disgusting.
Hubby: :D. [Laughing.]
Niece, flushing: oh, that's disgusting. That is so gross. [Laughing ]
Posted by sigismund on April 1, 2011, at 14:14:53
In reply to Re: Kids today, posted by Dinah on April 1, 2011, at 9:07:33
People have an innate moral sense (especially of fairness) if it is not damaged too much by family circumstances.
That sounds too much like Rousseau for comfort, but anyway.
Posted by floatingbridge on April 1, 2011, at 21:42:44
In reply to Re: Kids today » Dinah, posted by sigismund on April 1, 2011, at 14:14:53
> People have an innate moral sense (especially of fairness) if it is not damaged too much by family circumstances.
>It does for me, too, but I'm buying today
;)
> That sounds too much like Rousseau for comfort, but anyway.
Posted by mixdup on April 2, 2011, at 20:50:55
In reply to Re: Kids today, posted by BetweenDreams81 on March 25, 2011, at 22:06:57
> new to this message board, hope you don't mind me chiming in :0)
>
> It also makes me wonder what the parents are thinking though when they give their kids cell phones?!? Aren't there cell phones that only function on a handful of numbers ie: emergency calls only to certain people like mom and dad and maybe another adult emergency figure??
>
Hi I'm new here to and a little late to the conversation however I do think that there is a cell for mom dad and emergency number only its called firefly there is a website if anyone is interested WWW.fireflymobile.com
This is the end of the thread.
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