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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on March 17, 2010, at 21:16:00
She told her friend that I am working now.
My Mom told me it has been 10 years now and I still don't have my degree. She says I need to give up and start working because I am getting old.
She also told me to never ever tell others I have mental problems because no one would want to be my friend or want to marry me.
I feel like such a loser.
Posted by obsidian on March 18, 2010, at 22:40:57
In reply to My Mom is ashamed of me, posted by Deneb on March 17, 2010, at 21:16:00
hey deneb, I'm sorry to say this, but I think what she said is a lot more about her than it is about you. the last thing you need is to feel worse about yourself. work toward what YOU want.
sorry she said that,
sid
Posted by floatingbridge on March 19, 2010, at 10:33:51
In reply to My Mom is ashamed of me, posted by Deneb on March 17, 2010, at 21:16:00
Hi Deneb,
I like what sid said--it's about your mom, not you. However, it's painful to have a mom say that. I'm sorry.
I didn't get my degree until I was 39. You're younger, right? Keep on taking care of yourself and stay focused--you're o.k.
Posted by rnny on March 20, 2010, at 10:21:41
In reply to My Mom is ashamed of me, posted by Deneb on March 17, 2010, at 21:16:00
Tell your mother is she is going to say hurtful things to you, that you are going to limit your contact with her. "Advice" should be constructive, not leaving someone hurting.
Posted by Deneb on March 20, 2010, at 15:57:08
In reply to Re: My Mom is ashamed of me » Deneb, posted by obsidian on March 18, 2010, at 22:40:57
Thanks Obsidian
It is more about my Mom than me. I'm just going to have to learn to ignore people who lead me to feel worse about myself.
Posted by Deneb on March 20, 2010, at 16:01:09
In reply to Re: My Mom is ashamed of me » Deneb, posted by floatingbridge on March 19, 2010, at 10:33:51
Thanks floatingbridge
It's good to hear there are some people who get their degrees later on in life. I tried to tell my Mom that, but she said that their situations are different because the people who get their degrees in their 40's have had a career change and that they already had a career which paid for their house and families.
Meanwhile I have none of that, no career, no house and no family of my own. I am 28.
Thanks for the support again.
Deneb
Posted by Deneb on March 20, 2010, at 16:03:44
In reply to Re: My Mom is ashamed of me, posted by rnny on March 20, 2010, at 10:21:41
Thanks for your support rnny. I really appreciate it. There is no way I can limit my contact with her as I live with her. I'm not sure I want to limit contact though, most days we are okay.
Pdoc is actually encouraging me to develop more of a relationship with my parents.
Deneb
Posted by floatingbridge on March 21, 2010, at 2:46:13
In reply to Re: My Mom is ashamed of me » floatingbridge, posted by Deneb on March 20, 2010, at 16:01:09
Hi Deneb,
Well, however real that myth may seem to your mum, none of that is true in my case. None. No family, no house, absolutely no career. The only change in my life (not a career change) was that a friend and a therapist convinced me that I was capable of attending school. They were right, though it was hard work for me. Bless the people who tell us 'yes'. I believe they are closer to the truth.
Reminds me of an old Replacement's song (now that gives away my age!) that resonates with my own behaviors: "...and the ones that love us least are the ones we die to please."
You keep on going Deneb! Keep on being brave.
> Thanks floatingbridge
>
> It's good to hear there are some people who get their degrees later on in life. I tried to tell my Mom that, but she said that their situations are different because the people who get their degrees in their 40's have had a career change and that they already had a career which paid for their house and families.
>
> Meanwhile I have none of that, no career, no house and no family of my own. I am 28.
>
> Thanks for the support again.
>
> Deneb
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