Psycho-Babble Social Thread 899718

Shown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Today's coffee date

Posted by Deneb on June 6, 2009, at 18:20:36

I really enjoyed my spending time with my date today. He is also more attractive in person and speaks Cantonese.

He bought me coffee and cake. Then we walked around downtown for a long time. We walked around and talked until about 6:30 pm and the date started at 1pm. It seemed like he wanted to spend time with me as he kept suggesting things to do like ice cream and just sitting around enjoying the view.

I am confused as to whether or not he likes me though. He didn't make any moves on me at all. He touched me a tiny bit but it may have been accidental. I tried to show I was interested with my body language. I leaned towards him and sat close to him.

I asked him if he wanted to go see a movie with me with my two free movie passes and he said yes.

I asked him whether or not he was doing anything afterwards and he said no, he was spending the evening with me. It got to around dinnertime and I asked him if he was hungry and he said no.

We sat around, he shared his music with me and then he asked if I would mind calling it a night because he was not hungry. I'm not sure if this means he doesn't like me.

He walked me to my bus stop. I felt like hugging him, but he had his hands in his pockets. I am confused as to whether or not he likes me. What should I do?

 

I think I have a crush

Posted by Deneb on June 6, 2009, at 22:58:34

In reply to Today's coffee date, posted by Deneb on June 6, 2009, at 18:20:36

I think I have a crush on my date today. I feel like holding him close. I am attaching to someone other than Dr. Bob. LOL

I just hope he feels the same way.

 

Re: Today's coffee date » Deneb

Posted by Bobby on June 6, 2009, at 23:55:41

In reply to Today's coffee date, posted by Deneb on June 6, 2009, at 18:20:36

I think it's the best thing that you've done since---maybe ever--getting out of the house and meeting folks in real life. One word of caution---unless you're a lady of the evening and he's already paid for your services---don't get too close too quick. Instant attachment will scare a "good guy" way faster than a swarm of bees. take it easy----no rush. I hope your folks like him too---just not in the morning!give it some time----you can't force love. plant the seed and watch it grow. some guys are not touchy feely right away---he'll come around. good luck--SLOWLY!

 

Ditto to Bobby's comments Deneb (nm)

Posted by Kath on June 7, 2009, at 10:34:12

In reply to Re: Today's coffee date » Deneb, posted by Bobby on June 6, 2009, at 23:55:41

 

He hasn't emailed me

Posted by Deneb on June 7, 2009, at 12:28:01

In reply to Today's coffee date, posted by Deneb on June 6, 2009, at 18:20:36

I sent him a quick email thanking him for the great time and letting him know we should hang out again sometime.

He read my message but didn't reply.

I am thinking he's just not that into me. Oh well. I should continue to email with the others then.

 

Re: He hasn't emailed me » Deneb

Posted by Phillipa on June 7, 2009, at 12:44:45

In reply to He hasn't emailed me, posted by Deneb on June 7, 2009, at 12:28:01

Deneb sounded like a great date and he sounded very interested in you. Give him time to reply to the e-mail. BTW how do you know he read it? Phillipa

 

Re: He hasn't emailed me » Deneb

Posted by gobbledygook on June 7, 2009, at 16:09:09

In reply to He hasn't emailed me, posted by Deneb on June 7, 2009, at 12:28:01

I once had a guy call me a month after the first date...he apparently thought I wasn't
into him so he had to work up the courage to call. And another guy called me right away
and brought me chocolates before telling me that we weren't right for each other (that was
a weird one.) And another one...I'll spare you the gory details.

Your last date could just be tied up with something and waiting for a better time to reply,
but if he doesn't...better to know now then later, so both parties can explore other people
who are a better match. It's disappointing if you like them, but the good thing is you learn
about yourself from every date...likes/dislikes, what works and what doesn't. It gets easier.

You sound so much calmer now, Deneb. You must be getting used to the dating scene.

Take care, go slow and stay safe.

Ava

 

I just sent him a good luck email

Posted by Deneb on June 7, 2009, at 17:05:05

In reply to Re: He hasn't emailed me » Deneb, posted by gobbledygook on June 7, 2009, at 16:09:09

I hope it was a good idea. I realized there were some signs throughout the day that he was just not that into me. It was weird how he so nice to me though and kept suggesting things to do, but maybe he was just trying to just have fun.

I sent him an e-mail saying I wished him luck if he just wasn't that into me. I am OK with it. Better to know now rather than later.

I have no dates lined up anymore. The other guy who canceled on me never emailed me back.

I am not very hopeful about finding someone. Maybe I should stop looking. I am happy single.

I told my Mom that I will probably stop looking. She suggested seeing this Chinese guy who is the son of a cousin's friend or something. She said he was very shy and loyal.

I asked my Mom if she dated a lot of men when she was younger and she said she didn't. I asked if her date with my Dad went really well and she said she didn't even like my Dad, she just married him because he was in the U.S. or something. She said my Dad liked her younger sister.

She told me they had nothing in common and personalities clashed, but they still married because they were looking to get married.

 

It is confirmed, he is just not that into me

Posted by Deneb on June 7, 2009, at 17:36:00

In reply to I just sent him a good luck email, posted by Deneb on June 7, 2009, at 17:05:05

Oh well. He is nice. He replied. He's just not that into me.

I messaged someone else about a coffee date.

Hopefully it won't be a horror story.

 

Re: It is confirmed, he is just not that into me » Deneb

Posted by gobbledygook on June 7, 2009, at 17:44:57

In reply to It is confirmed, he is just not that into me, posted by Deneb on June 7, 2009, at 17:36:00

"Maybe I should stop looking. I am happy single. " -Deneb
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's okay if he's not into you. Better to know now rather than later.


I love hearing you say, "I am happy single."

Absolutely nothing wrong with being single...and what a bonus to be happy, too!
You're way ahead of me...I just want to be happy - single or not.

The best relationships I've ever had came along when I wasn't looking. I never found
anybody worth being with when I felt pressured to look. I think people pick up on the
"desperate" energy and run the other way. Well, that's been my experience anyway.

You probably love your mom like I do mine, and want to please her, but she is from a
different era and culture.

We have to do what's right for us...what makes us happy. After all, that's what they
really want for us anyway.(Although moms can seem clueless about that at times.)

Be yourself, and do things that make you happy, and you might just meet "the one"
while you're doing just that. (I need to take this advice myself, lol.)

Ava

 

Re: It is confirmed, he is just not that into me

Posted by Angela2 on June 7, 2009, at 17:52:39

In reply to It is confirmed, he is just not that into me, posted by Deneb on June 7, 2009, at 17:36:00

Deneb, I'm glad you said you're happily single. Thats good. sorry about the guy. his loss!

 

Re: It is confirmed, he is just not that into me

Posted by Deneb on June 7, 2009, at 18:01:57

In reply to Re: It is confirmed, he is just not that into me » Deneb, posted by gobbledygook on June 7, 2009, at 17:44:57

I think the dating thing is fun even when it goes well and nothing comes out of it. I get to meet some pretty interesting people.

I think it is good for building my social skills. I am learning a lot about myself through this process as well.

 

Re: It is confirmed, he is just not that into me » Deneb

Posted by gobbledygook on June 7, 2009, at 18:07:45

In reply to Re: It is confirmed, he is just not that into me, posted by Deneb on June 7, 2009, at 18:01:57

"I think the dating thing is fun even when it goes well and nothing comes out of it. I get to meet some pretty interesting people.

I think it is good for building my social skills. I am learning a lot about myself through this process as well." -Deneb
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You, Deneb, are special and an amazing young woman! And as a fellow woman - I am very proud of you!!!

Just stay safe.
Ava

 

Re: He hasn't emailed me » Deneb

Posted by Kath on June 7, 2009, at 19:56:44

In reply to He hasn't emailed me, posted by Deneb on June 7, 2009, at 12:28:01

> I am thinking he's just not that into me. Oh well. I should continue to email with the others then.

~ ~ ~ Deneb - have you given any thought to trying to meet people IRL instead of online?

luv, Kath

 

Re: It is confirmed, he is just not that into me » Deneb

Posted by Kath on June 7, 2009, at 19:59:00

In reply to Re: It is confirmed, he is just not that into me, posted by Deneb on June 7, 2009, at 18:01:57

Sounds like you're feeling pretty relaxed about it all. That's good. Glad to hear it.

xo Kath


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