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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 10 to 34 of 34. Go back in thread:
Posted by Garnet71 on April 3, 2009, at 15:54:32
In reply to My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by SLS on April 3, 2009, at 8:42:43
Scott,
I am very sorry for your loss. Obviously your Grandmother knew how much you loved and cared for her. While feelings of guilt are natural, please watch they don't eat you up.
I will say a prayer for you and your family.
Take care and a big hug to you xxoooxx
Posted by seldomseen on April 3, 2009, at 17:13:29
In reply to My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by SLS on April 3, 2009, at 8:42:43
I'm very sorry to hear of your difficult loss.
Please know that you are in my thoughts.
Seldom
Posted by Roslynn on April 3, 2009, at 17:25:07
In reply to My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by SLS on April 3, 2009, at 8:42:43
Dear Scott,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Please take time to let yourself heal.
Your friend,
Roslynn
Posted by Cass on April 3, 2009, at 20:22:59
In reply to My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by SLS on April 3, 2009, at 8:42:43
I'm sorry for your suffering, Scott, and I'm sorry her passing was not painless. My heart is with you.
Posted by Dinah on April 3, 2009, at 20:36:24
In reply to My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by SLS on April 3, 2009, at 8:42:43
I'm so sorry for your loss, Scott. She sounds like a very special person.
I think there are a million ways to feel inadequate at times like this. My father's care team at hospice did some things that upset me a lot, even though I overall appreciate their services for him. I felt helpless and guilty that I couldn't change more than I could change. I'm sorry that she didn't get the passing that she should have gotten. I'm sorry they weren't more respectful to you and your concerns. But she had so much time to know how much you loved her and cared for her. I hope you're able to hold on to those memories over time.
Posted by Relapse on April 3, 2009, at 23:51:17
In reply to Re: My grandmother died last night at age 99. » SLS, posted by Dinah on April 3, 2009, at 20:36:24
Scott,
I'm sorry to hear about your loss and the situation that surrounded it. I haven't been here at PB for a long time, but I feel I know you as a friend. Someone who takes the time to help all of us with your knowledge, advise and support. My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Dave
Posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2009, at 8:29:52
In reply to My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by SLS on April 3, 2009, at 8:42:43
Scott,
I'm so very sorry about your loss. It sounds like it was truly awful in the end, which is a terrible shame. Grandmothers are special.My prayers are with you and your family.
gg
Posted by obsidian on April 4, 2009, at 8:48:22
In reply to My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by SLS on April 3, 2009, at 8:42:43
I'm sorry for your loss Scott :-(
-sid
Posted by SLS on April 4, 2009, at 13:55:57
In reply to Re: My grandmother died last night at age 99. » SLS, posted by obsidian on April 4, 2009, at 8:48:22
I am pretty much just numb and subdued right now. No tears. I did quite a bit of crying last week, when I thought that I only had a few days left with her. Still, I know that there will be a cascade of grieving to come. Right now, I am compartmentalizing the grief and placing it out of sight in order to be able to take on the initial responsibilites. It is a sort of survival mode, I guess.
- Scott
Posted by Larry Hoover on April 4, 2009, at 17:11:42
In reply to My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by SLS on April 3, 2009, at 8:42:43
I am sorry for your loss, Scott. You and your family are in my prayers.
I know that you truly did all you could to minimize her pain. I hope you find some comfort in that.
Lar
Posted by Deneb on April 4, 2009, at 17:42:11
In reply to My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by SLS on April 3, 2009, at 8:42:43
Sorry about your grandmother Scott.
You were a good grandson for caring so much. ((((Scott))))
Posted by TexasChic on April 5, 2009, at 19:29:03
In reply to Re: My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by Deneb on April 4, 2009, at 17:42:11
> Sorry about your grandmother Scott.
>
> You were a good grandson for caring so much. ((((Scott))))I agree. I bet wherever your Grandma is now, she is very grateful and very proud that you stood by her and cared so much. To die with your loved ones around you caring so deeply, I bet that means a lot to her, regardless of the rest of it.
-T
Posted by desolationrower on April 6, 2009, at 6:03:42
In reply to Re: My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by Deneb on April 4, 2009, at 17:42:11
sorry scott. hope you can start remembering better times with her.
-d/r
Posted by SLS on April 6, 2009, at 7:37:15
In reply to Re: My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by desolationrower on April 6, 2009, at 6:03:42
Hi hayley.
Thank you all for your words of wisdom and support.
Tears make things easier. I'm sure that there will be more to come.
My brother was granted by my parents the responsibility of conducting the graveside service in the manner of his belief in orthodox Judaism. Unfortunately, most of the rest of us, including myself, learned for the first time during this service that there was to be no eulogy. It is currently the hebrew month of Nissan. We were told by my brother that eulogies were prohibited during this month. Indeed, they are. I think this left a sense of emptiness in the hearts of many. You know, it is an irony that Grandma had rejected orthodox Judaism long ago. By the same token, I doubt she would have wanted my brother and his family to remain absent from the funeral. I am quite sure as to what Grandma's wishes were to be, and that they were fulfilled as best as was possible. For me, personally, there is a certain beauty in the recognition of the circle she travelled through her life from birth to death. That she was born and buried in an orthodox manner completes the circle. However, another circle has yet to be completed; one that includes those of us who are not of the orthodox Jewish faith.
There were some words that I would like to have said. I am sure that there are many words left unsaid by other members of the family and friends. I thus asked my parents if they thought it might be a good idea to conduct a memorial service next month at the gravesite to eulogize Grandma, and indeed, her whole generation, as she represented the last of it. Such a memorial will afford many the sense of closure that they were so sure they would receive at the funeral but did not.
Here is a picture of Grandma at her 96th birthday:
http://www.slschofield.com/special/grandma_2.jpg
- Soctt
Posted by Justherself54 on April 6, 2009, at 8:37:04
In reply to Re: My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by SLS on April 6, 2009, at 7:37:15
She is beautiful..
Posted by Kath on April 6, 2009, at 11:13:47
In reply to Re: My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by SLS on April 6, 2009, at 7:37:15
Oh she's lovely.
Her warmth & lovingness just shies out of her eyes.
I think it's a very wonderful idea to have a special service. Is it an idea to have an option of where it would be if it rained? Maybe that wouldn't matter. People could use umbrellas.
I bet LOTS of people would be very thankful to have a chance to 'celebrate' her whole life!!!!
Good luck...I hope your parents are on-board.
Let us know how you're doing.
luv, Kath
Posted by TexasChic on April 6, 2009, at 21:03:38
In reply to Re: My grandmother died last night at age 99. » SLS, posted by Kath on April 6, 2009, at 11:13:47
Wow! She sure doesn't look her age! In fact, she looks amazing! And very beautiful. To think of all she must have seen! I think a special service is a wonderful idea. That way everyone gets to honor her in their own way.
I was also very close to my grandmother - my thoughts are with you.
-T
Posted by Sigismund on April 6, 2009, at 22:45:50
In reply to Re: My grandmother died last night at age 99. » SLS, posted by obsidian on April 4, 2009, at 8:48:22
I've never seen a dignified good death. My father died in 77 so I'm always surprised by people having grandparents alive. Since my father died I've seen a few deaths and 2 births, which made me feel how hard it is to be born, how hard it is to die, and often how hard it is in between, and yet it is how we respond to fate that is important, and in this sense this world is a place where souls are made.
Posted by SLS on April 7, 2009, at 1:46:26
In reply to Re: My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by Sigismund on April 6, 2009, at 22:45:50
> I've never seen a dignified good death. My father died in 77 so I'm always surprised by people having grandparents alive. Since my father died I've seen a few deaths and 2 births, which made me feel how hard it is to be born, how hard it is to die, and often how hard it is in between, and yet it is how we respond to fate that is important, and in this sense this world is a place where souls are made.
That is truly beautiful.
- Scott
Posted by Bobby on April 7, 2009, at 8:15:40
In reply to Re: My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by Sigismund on April 6, 2009, at 22:45:50
I agree with Scott. Indeed that was a splendid post--you should send that to reader's digest to their quotable quotes section at the very least. Profound! I think Leonard has rubbed off on you.
Posted by Bobby on April 7, 2009, at 8:25:40
In reply to My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by SLS on April 3, 2009, at 8:42:43
as a child----this song gave me hope and explanined what I could not put into words----I'm glad I found it. you can listen---or not---and come to your own conclusionshttp://www.imeem.com/meldaqueen/music/k-P44Ngp/dolly-parton-linda-ronstadt-farther-along/.
Posted by Kath on April 7, 2009, at 19:42:23
In reply to Re: My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by Sigismund on April 6, 2009, at 22:45:50
Wow - I wonder if you have any idea how special you are?
love, Kath
Posted by Sigismund on April 7, 2009, at 21:40:52
In reply to Re: My grandmother died last night at age 99. » Sigismund, posted by Kath on April 7, 2009, at 19:42:23
Thank you all, I'm touched.
That's what learning King Lear in high school does for you.
That reference to this world being a place for the making of souls comes out of the notes from that, 40 years ago now.
Posted by Kath on April 9, 2009, at 19:03:40
In reply to Re: My grandmother died last night at age 99., posted by Sigismund on April 7, 2009, at 21:40:52
Wow. Would woulda thot? I learned to search well, if I lose something - I learned this in highschool from taking Geometry! Somehow it made me think very step by step with regard to when I lose something.
K
Posted by Kath on April 9, 2009, at 19:04:29
In reply to Re: My grandmother died last night at age 99. » Sigismund, posted by SLS on April 7, 2009, at 1:46:26
This is the end of the thread.
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