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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on December 20, 2008, at 10:52:30
I was going to skip my exam and fail. I hadn't studied the last two thirds of the course.
My pdoc told me to study and I did in spurts, but it wasn't enough. I didn't start feeling better until recently.
Anyways, I thought I should try to get a note to defer the exam, it was a no lose situation, the worse that would happen would be that I wouldn't get the note. I was going to skip anyways, so I thought I should give it a try.
I was really good, the first thing I said was that I was NOT going to OD or hurt myself in any way, and that I completely understood if I didn't get the note. I was entirely prepared to fail and I was OK about it.
I only told the truth, I said I was feeling a lot better now, but my crisis and anxiety had prevented me from studying. I told the doc how I had gotten 97% on my first midterm and 50% on my next midterm.
I also told him why my pdoc wouldn't give me a note. I told him she thought it was avoidance.
The doc decided I should get a note to defer the exam because I was not able to study.
I am relieved that I may not have to fail the class now. Now I will study with no pressure.
I think my pdoc will be a little disappointed in me, but I think if I study now, maybe she will think it's OK.
Posted by Kath on December 20, 2008, at 18:10:01
In reply to I got a break, posted by Deneb on December 20, 2008, at 10:52:30
Wow Deneb,
I am really impressed with you. You Da Woman!!!
It is so lovely hearing such calm strength from you.
And ya know - I know we generally want our pdoc's or T's approval. However, the most important thing in this case is that you thought it through calmly & with the necessary amount of detachment to come up with a great plan & to get the result you hoped for.
I hope you're tremendously proud of yourself. I sure am!
love & hugs, Kath
Posted by Deneb on December 20, 2008, at 19:48:53
In reply to You created a break!! » Deneb, posted by Kath on December 20, 2008, at 18:10:01
I feel like I don't deserve a deferral. I'm feeling guilty about this. I hope I don't sabotage myself like I have in the past.
Probably other students experience anxiety too and they don't get a break. I feel bad.
Posted by Kath on December 20, 2008, at 20:04:20
In reply to Re: I am feeling very guilty, posted by Deneb on December 20, 2008, at 19:48:53
> I feel like I don't deserve a deferral. I'm feeling guilty about this. I hope I don't sabotage myself like I have in the past.
>
> Probably other students experience anxiety too and they don't get a break. I feel bad.~ ~ ~ You're you. They're them. All of you have the option of asking for a deferral. Maybe you know how to take care of your needs better than some of them!!
I think you sometimes care more about others than about yourself. In this case, you can use this to help you achieve a positive result.....if you self-sabatage, in a way you're letting down the doctor who wrote you the note. That doctor obviously felt that it was in your best interests to have the deferral & gave you the note in good faith. I think it'd be just the next practical, sensible thing in the course of events, for you to study, do well, & succeed.
I've started a book that was recommended to me. It's called "Taming Your Gremlin" - I think it should be called Taming Your GremlinS. I think most of us have nasty little beasties that pop up & tell us whatever they need to, in order for us to doubt ourselves etc.
Anyway, one of my gremlins that I've identified is: "Oh dear, something bad is going to happen" when there is absolutely NO reason to think that. But I generally believe it & start to feel anxious! I wonder if you have a "I don't deserve to succeed" gremlin - or some such type!
Guilt is a wasted emotion in a way. Okay - so feel it & then try to let it be washed away. What's done is done. Now the best thing is to forward in the most positive way.
I send you love Deneb. xoxo Kath
Posted by Kath on December 20, 2008, at 20:07:38
In reply to Taming our Gremlins » Deneb, posted by Kath on December 20, 2008, at 20:04:20
Sometimes we have people in our lives who say not nice things about us & a part of us believe the not nice comments.
This might be a factor for you also.
hugs, Kath (an only child!)
Posted by Larry Hoover on December 21, 2008, at 8:21:40
In reply to Re: I am feeling very guilty, posted by Deneb on December 20, 2008, at 19:48:53
> I feel like I don't deserve a deferral. I'm feeling guilty about this. I hope I don't sabotage myself like I have in the past.
>
> Probably other students experience anxiety too and they don't get a break. I feel bad.Twice in my academic career, I obtained medical leave for time extensions. On a third occasion, I came down with the flu on the day of an exam, and did not write it at all. They estimated my grade from my earlier work.
When I got extensions, I didn't need them, in fact. Their mere existence, however, took the stress off me, and allowed me to perform, despite my medical circumstances.
Please don't trivialize psychological types of medical impediments. You had adverse medical circumstances which impaired your ability to meet the schedule of the university, certified by a doctor.
You're feeling better now, so it's time to utilize that feeling. Okay?
Best,
Lar
Posted by Toph on December 21, 2008, at 11:53:30
In reply to Re: I am feeling very guilty » Deneb, posted by Larry Hoover on December 21, 2008, at 8:21:40
At least you did the honorable thing Deneb. I had one of my fraternity brothers take an organic chem test for me once. He got a B which gave me a B for the course. I rationalized this to myself by saying the same material was covered in the final. But that's a lie as we all know. I later ended up in the hospital the next semester whie taking Organic Chem 2. I gave up pre-med and switched to Sociology. Sh*t happens.
Hi Larry. Hope you are feeling better. Nice to see that you look in every now and then. Merry Christmas.
Posted by Phillipa on December 21, 2008, at 13:05:42
In reply to Re: I am feeling very guilty » Larry Hoover, posted by Toph on December 21, 2008, at 11:53:30
Deneb and didn't you just up your resperidol? So you should ace the test with a bit of studying. Don't sweat it you had a note. Love Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on December 21, 2008, at 14:37:47
In reply to Re: I am feeling very guilty » Deneb, posted by Larry Hoover on December 21, 2008, at 8:21:40
Thanks Kath, Larry, Toph.
I think I have until the middle of Feb. to study now. I'm taking next semester off.
I am just really surprised at how I spiraled down so quickly.
Posted by Kath on December 21, 2008, at 14:41:34
In reply to Re: I am feeling very guilty, posted by Deneb on December 21, 2008, at 14:37:47
Hi Deneb - sometimes the spiral can be quick. This time of year is hard for a lot of people - cold; less sun etc.
Do you think you can create some sort of study schedule for yourself? Hope so.
Hugs, Kath
Posted by Larry Hoover on December 25, 2008, at 10:38:22
In reply to Re: I am feeling very guilty » Larry Hoover, posted by Toph on December 21, 2008, at 11:53:30
> Hi Larry. Hope you are feeling better. Nice to see that you look in every now and then. Merry Christmas.
Thanks for the personal touch, Tophster. Merry Christmas to you, and all your family.
I'm around far more than my posting history would suggest. I struggle to cross from lurker to poster. For some reason, it's been very difficult for me, the last year or so. It took be four days to reply here.
My pain is finally coming under control following a series of a few dozen nerve blocks, but I think the chronicity of the pain has just worn me down. I still have a ways to go. I have to shovel snow with one hand, and we've had more already this year than some years' entire winter total.
Texas Chic and Dinah are more than welcome to come and play in my snow, so long as they are playing with shovels in hand. ;-)
Ms. fayeroe has a good plan, staying in climate zone 8. I'm contemplating something similar, at least for the winter months.
Lar
Posted by Kath on December 25, 2008, at 16:41:30
In reply to Re: I am feeling very guilty » Toph, posted by Larry Hoover on December 25, 2008, at 10:38:22
It's nice to see you Larry. Very glad that you're getting some relief from pain.
I would love to go somewhere warm for at least some of this snowy weather. If I think of that, it makes me wish that I had lots & lots of money.
Kath
Posted by Toph on December 27, 2008, at 11:27:04
In reply to Re: I am feeling very guilty » Toph, posted by Larry Hoover on December 25, 2008, at 10:38:22
>
> Thanks for the personal touch, Tophster. Merry Christmas to you, and all your family.
>That would work although I prefer the Tophmeister or the Tophalator. : )
> I'm around far more than my posting history would suggest. I struggle to cross from lurker to poster. For some reason, it's been very difficult for me, the last year or so. It took be four days to reply here.
>I'm only an occasional lurker as well, though I do have posting flurries. Let's just say I don't have a regular seat at the bar and most don't seem to recognize me when I wander in.
> My pain is finally coming under control following a series of a few dozen nerve blocks, but I think the chronicity of the pain has just worn me down. I still have a ways to go. I have to shovel snow with one hand, and we've had more already this year than some years' entire winter total.
>That's why God invented neighborhood kids Lar. Looks like you have to pick and choose your lifting from now on. Plus they are inventing all sorts of pain management technology and chemistry all the time. I have a feeling you take very good care of yourself which heightens the odds for recovery.
Tophoo
Posted by Kath on December 27, 2008, at 16:29:02
In reply to Re: I am feeling very guilty, posted by Toph on December 27, 2008, at 11:27:04
Hi Toph - I recognize you!!! And I'm glad when I see you here. Sorry if don't say hi!
hugs, Kath
PS - sometimes there's not a lot of 'traffic' here.
Posted by Kath on December 27, 2008, at 16:29:19
In reply to Re: I am feeling very guilty, posted by Toph on December 27, 2008, at 11:27:04
Hi Toph - I recognize you!!! And I'm glad when I see you here. Sorry if don't say hi!
hugs, Kath
PS - sometimes there's not a lot of 'traffic' here.
Posted by Toph on December 28, 2008, at 9:52:32
In reply to Re: I am feeling very guilty » Toph, posted by Kath on December 27, 2008, at 16:29:19
I recognize you too. Aren't you that women who always is repeating herself? ; )
Actually, you've always been very kind to me, Kath. Hope your holiday was nice.
Posted by Kath on December 28, 2008, at 13:08:34
In reply to Re: I am feeling very guilty » Kath, posted by Toph on December 28, 2008, at 9:52:32
> I recognize you too. Aren't you that women who always is repeating herself? ; )
~ ~ ~ LOL - I wouldn't remember! I'm the one with the bad memory, so yup, repeating myself could fit in!! ;-)
> Actually, you've always been very kind to me, Kath. Hope your holiday was nice.
~ ~ Not hard to be kind to you :-))
I'm sorta glad holiday time is coming to a close. I find it pretty stressful. Hope you're doing well & had a nice holiday too.:-) Kath
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