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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on July 6, 2008, at 1:34:42
I was chatting at another support site and a teenager (16 years old) there starts talking about how he/she has had schizophrenia for 4 years.
Then she (I'll just use she from now on) says that she is having a schizophrenic "episode" right then and there.
She goes on to say she is in college early because she is highly intelligent. She gives examples of getting 98% in physics and calculus etc.
And...all this time she is spelling "insomnia" "insomiac" and using they're and there for the word "their".
Ugh. Simple grammatical errors and spelling mistakes.
I just have my doubts about this person.
I found it difficult to be supportive and hold my tongue.
I suppose it's possible someone can be a genius and not know how to spell simple words and basic grammar?
Posted by daveuk08 on July 6, 2008, at 9:26:43
In reply to Should I be annoyed at this?, posted by Deneb on July 6, 2008, at 1:34:42
Posted by AbbieNormal on July 6, 2008, at 9:39:46
In reply to Should I be annoyed at this?, posted by Deneb on July 6, 2008, at 1:34:42
How you feel is up to you. I'd say that person needs some attention and this is their method of getting it. I would just accept that he/she has needs which are not being met in his/her real life, and that's kinda sad.
Abbie
Posted by Happyflower on July 6, 2008, at 10:19:51
In reply to Should I be annoyed at this?, posted by Deneb on July 6, 2008, at 1:34:42
Hi Deneb,
I believe it is possible to misspell words or get the tenses wrong especially if you are talking socially on the net. A genius isn't a genius at everything usually. My brother was considered a genius, but he couldn't read or write past a first grade level due to brain damage (from child abuse).
Could it be that you might be looking harder for mistakes because she says she is a genius? Maybe there are other reasons you have a feeling she might be lying? She could be lying, or not. I had a friend who would lie a lot in high school for attention. Some even lie about their medical or mental conditions to get attention. People lie for lots of reasons. I don't like it anymore than you, but it is human nature.
Posted by Angela2 on July 6, 2008, at 11:10:54
In reply to Should I be annoyed at this?, posted by Deneb on July 6, 2008, at 1:34:42
skeptical but wanting to give her the benefit of the doubt
Posted by SLS on July 6, 2008, at 11:32:36
In reply to Should I be annoyed at this?, posted by Deneb on July 6, 2008, at 1:34:42
Man, my post here turned out to be one big pile of crap. I apologize. If what I said doesn't apply to you, then take the best and forget the rest. It did apply to me before I made the active decision to try to grow through challenging myself and my beliefs. Feelings are spontaneous and the result one's psychodynamics.
> I was chatting at another support site and a teenager (16 years old) there starts talking about how he/she has had schizophrenia for 4 years.
>
> Then she (I'll just use she from now on) says that she is having a schizophrenic "episode" right then and there.
>
> She goes on to say she is in college early because she is highly intelligent. She gives examples of getting 98% in physics and calculus etc.
>
> And...all this time she is spelling "insomnia" "insomiac" and using they're and there for the word "their".
>
> Ugh. Simple grammatical errors and spelling mistakes.
>
> I just have my doubts about this person.
>
> I found it difficult to be supportive and hold my tongue.
>
> I suppose it's possible someone can be a genius and not know how to spell simple words and basic grammar?
I have to agree with the other posters. First of all, I often find that the word "should" is a red flag that indicates that the speaker might be fixated on what other people think of them, or that there are feelings of inadequacy. After all, who made up the rules of shoulds and should nots?Feelings are not good or bad. They just are. To attempt to turn them on and off instantaneously seems to me to indicate a lack of self-confidence and perhaps a lack of courage as well. It is not the feelings that come up that are within one's control, but, rather, the thoughts that precipitate the feelings. Feelings will change if thoughts change. CBT. You might become stuck if you don't take each opportunity to grow.
What you felt after reading the post in the other forum reflects exactly your own set of beliefs and biases. So, you see, the core of the problem lies not in the behaviors of another human being, but, rather, in your cognitive construct.
Do you feel indignation that someone should claim themselves to be a genius and yet mispell (sp?) :-) words that you have no trouble with. Albert Einstein had trouble with arithmetic as a young child. What does that say about him?
After all my BS has cleared the air, you will be left with a responsibility. The responsibility is to take inventory of your thoughts, attitudes, and perspectives to know how you would like to make changes through mindfullness.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on July 6, 2008, at 11:59:48
In reply to I would feel the same way., posted by Angela2 on July 6, 2008, at 11:10:54
Hi Deneb.
I had originally written a long reply to your opening post. It was quite pretentious and lecturing. I saw no purpose in posting it as it would have frustrated the both of us. Let me just say that your emotional reaction to this person's misspelling of words says more about you than it does about them. That is not so much a criticism as it is an invitation to grow as a person.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on July 6, 2008, at 12:06:20
In reply to Re: I would feel the same way., posted by SLS on July 6, 2008, at 11:59:48
I accidentally posted that pretentious composition of mine. I must have inadvertently hit the confirm button. Then, as the moron I am, I proceeded to tell you that I would not post that letter after I had already done so.
And I *am* a genius (according to those silly little tests they give in elementary school). What does that say about me?
- Scott
Posted by Phillipa on July 6, 2008, at 13:24:26
In reply to Who is the idiot now? ME !!! - I apologize, posted by SLS on July 6, 2008, at 12:06:20
Maybe she doesn't type well or proofread. I know I constantly make spelling errors in posts as proofreading I sometimes forget to do. Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on July 6, 2008, at 14:58:07
In reply to Re: Should I be annoyed at this? » Deneb, posted by SLS on July 6, 2008, at 11:32:36
Hey Scott,
I read your post to me, but I'm not sure I understand.
I know it's my problem and not the other person's. That is why I wrote, "Should *I* be annoyed".
I'm not saying you need to be perfect because you're a "genius".
My post wasn't about you.
Posted by fayeroe on July 6, 2008, at 16:12:43
In reply to Should I be annoyed at this?, posted by Deneb on July 6, 2008, at 1:34:42
> I was chatting at another support site and a teenager (16 years old) there starts talking about how he/she has had schizophrenia for 4 years.
>
> Then she (I'll just use she from now on) says that she is having a schizophrenic "episode" right then and there.
>
> She goes on to say she is in college early because she is highly intelligent. She gives examples of getting 98% in physics and calculus etc.
>
> And...all this time she is spelling "insomnia" "insomiac" and using they're and there for the word "their".
>
> Ugh. Simple grammatical errors and spelling mistakes.
>
> I just have my doubts about this person.
>
> I found it difficult to be supportive and hold my tongue.
>
> I suppose it's possible someone can be a genius and not know how to spell simple words and basic grammar?Deneb, I have a friend who has a Ph.D in geography and his spelling and grammar are atrocious.
He has/had severe learning disabilities. Anyone can have problems with being able to learn and retain spelling and grammar. Pat
>
>
>
>
Posted by fayeroe on July 6, 2008, at 16:16:09
In reply to Re: Should I be annoyed at this? » Deneb, posted by fayeroe on July 6, 2008, at 16:12:43
Deneb, I think it takes alot of energy to be "annoyed" at a faceless and nameless young girl on the internet.
We can all learn from making allowances for other's "mistakes". We are all human.
Perhaps she needs some reassurance and understanding. Pat
Posted by Deneb on July 6, 2008, at 16:48:22
In reply to Re: Should I be annoyed at this? » fayeroe, posted by fayeroe on July 6, 2008, at 16:16:09
> Deneb, I think it takes alot of energy to be "annoyed" at a faceless and nameless young girl on the internet.
>
> We can all learn from making allowances for other's "mistakes". We are all human.> Perhaps she needs some reassurance and understanding. Pat
Yes, you're right. I just don't know why I had such a strong reaction to this. I just needed to vent.
Posted by fayeroe on July 6, 2008, at 16:53:08
In reply to Re: Should I be annoyed at this?, posted by Deneb on July 6, 2008, at 16:48:22
> > Deneb, I think it takes alot of energy to be "annoyed" at a faceless and nameless young girl on the internet.
> >
> > We can all learn from making allowances for other's "mistakes". We are all human.
>
> > Perhaps she needs some reassurance and understanding. Pat
>
> Yes, you're right. I just don't know why I had such a strong reaction to this. I just needed to vent.I would suggest that you just pass by the posters who upset you. We all upset people and it is up to us concerning how we handle it.
Good for you, Deneb! Pat
>
Posted by SLS on July 6, 2008, at 17:04:18
In reply to Re: Should I be annoyed at this? » SLS, posted by Deneb on July 6, 2008, at 14:58:07
I'm really sorry, Deneb. I wish I hadn't posted anything. I thought I was helping you pinpoint where, perhaps, your reaction was coming from.
I guess I have become too sensitive to the significance of the usage of the word "should". It sometimes reflects an attempt to establish a behavior based upon what you expect others would have of you.
In reality, you *should* have been annoyed. It is what you felt because you were what you were at that moment in time. You could be nothing else. However, you are a different person as of right now. You should be applauded for challenging the thoughts that produced the feelings. You have grown because you decided to vent and make some changes in yourself.
- Scott
Posted by Deneb on July 6, 2008, at 17:32:42
In reply to Re: Should I be annoyed at this? » Deneb, posted by SLS on July 6, 2008, at 17:04:18
It's OK Scott. You're only trying to help.
I think I have learned certain attitudes. My sister has them too. I'm not sure where we got them from.
For example: Often my Mom will call home to make sure we got home safely. My Mom will often ask, "Are you home now?" after one of us picks up. Sometimes my sister would say something like, "Um, of course I'm home, you're talking to me", implying that she asked a stupid question.
Of course it wasn't about the question itself, it was a sign of caring and concern.
I find my sister often puts me down, calling me a "dumb*ss" and the like. I sometimes say and do stupid things.
I think I do have some sort of inferiority complex around certain people. I know I'm insecure about my intelligence. I imagine most people are smarter than I am.
Maybe I get this from my Mom too. She often puts down my Dad by talking about how dumb he is.
I dunno. My thoughts are disorganized. I don't know if I have a point.
There are probably lots of hidden issues around this that I don't yet understand.
Posted by gardenergirl on July 6, 2008, at 19:13:10
In reply to Re: Should I be annoyed at this? » SLS, posted by Deneb on July 6, 2008, at 17:32:42
Hi Deneb,
I had a similar reaction to SLS as far as your use of the word "should". I agree that it's not a question of should or shouldn't about a feeling. You ARE annoyed if you are. That's your feeling. There's no should or shouldn't. I think asking about it the way you did shows that this event struck something more than a passing thing in you, and it's led you to think about it, that's all.As far as the issue itself...I've had similar reactions when I feel like someone might be playing games with me and/or being dishonest. It's so easy to do that on the net, though also in real life. What I've discovered about that reaction of mine is that if I feel someone is trying to pull one over on me or is playing games or being dishonest I feel foolish. And I don't like that feeling. Of course, I'm only really a "fool" regardless of the reality of the situation if I worry about what others' think. I know I'm not a fool. I might judge something incorrectly. But we all do. Still, I get caught in that trap of feeling like a fool and being mad at the other person for it when it's really two separate things. There's the other's behavior, which if they are indeed lying and playing games is not the most honorable behavior in and of itself; and then there's my feelings about it, which are my own, are just fine as they are and do not need to be held in comparison to anyone else. I wish I could remember that more often. :) And I hope some of this makes sense, as I fear I'm rambling.
gg
Posted by TexasChic on July 6, 2008, at 20:11:46
In reply to Re: Should I be annoyed at this?, posted by gardenergirl on July 6, 2008, at 19:13:10
I think it would be natural to be annoyed at first to think someone is trying to pull something over on you. But rather than call her out you chose to discuss it with other people, which I think is great! There's nothing wrong with questioning your feelings and trying to figure out the basis for them, as long as you don't beat yourself up for feeling them in the first place.
-T
P.S. Grandiose delusions are sometimes a symptom of schizophrenia.
This is the end of the thread.
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