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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by tina on January 30, 2008, at 18:05:28
Can't figure out why i always end up alone. It isn't that I need a relationship with a man or anything, I just don't get why I don't have any friends. Whenever I think I've made a new friend, they hang around for a little but eventually, they fall off the face of the earth! I phone them to try to catch up. I email them to give them a chance to respond on their schedule. They don't call back and they don't reply to emails. I am quite a generous friend, IMHO. So, why the hell am I always the one left behind?
Posted by Dinah on January 30, 2008, at 18:21:29
In reply to I'm really lonely, posted by tina on January 30, 2008, at 18:05:28
Hi Tina. It's nice to see your name again.
I've been guilty of not responding to overtures. And I've had the experience of making overtures that aren't responded to. Over time, most of my closest friends tend to move and move on, and keep in touch now and again.
I doubt it has anything to do with you or how good a friend you are. Life just seems to be like that. People get overwhelmed by life and don't respond to emails, then they might feel guilty about that and afraid to reestablish contact. Or they just might move in different directions. It's hard to maintain long term relationships without a mutual commitment to keep rowing in the same direction.
And today's life especially, I think. Isolation and loneliness are epidemic.
But that's theoretical. And the nice thing about Babble is that even if specific people come and go, Babble has (for ten years) been here to come home to.
I'm sorry you're feeling lonely. How have you been doing otherwise? It's been a while since I caught up with your life.
Posted by tina on January 30, 2008, at 18:38:29
In reply to Re: I'm really lonely » tina, posted by Dinah on January 30, 2008, at 18:21:29
Hi Dinah
Doing ok otherwise. I need a job, but other than that, things are ok. Nothing out of the ordinary, just "life."
Thanks for the reply. Makes me feel a little less lonely.
T
Posted by Dinah on January 30, 2008, at 18:48:56
In reply to Re: I'm really lonely » Dinah, posted by tina on January 30, 2008, at 18:38:29
Just life is plenty enough. I find it exhausting even on its best days.
I obsess about quitting my job and being a homemaker.
How is the job market where you are?
Posted by Michael83 on January 30, 2008, at 20:07:45
In reply to I'm really lonely, posted by tina on January 30, 2008, at 18:05:28
Girls are typically much more able to make friends than men, but maybe the people you try to make friends with are too busy. I don't know how old you are, but if you're older (30+) a lot of women are just too busy.
If you're younger, well keep trying, some will stick eventually.
Posted by Kath on January 30, 2008, at 20:54:13
In reply to I'm really lonely, posted by tina on January 30, 2008, at 18:05:28
Hi Tina Beanuh,
I didn't go anywhere!! ;-))
I tend to agree with what Dinah said.
People have their own issues, events, etc & sometimes just drift away. And sometimes don't 'get around to' letting people know. I'm sure I've been guilty of that.
Lonely is a REALLY not nice feeling.
I send hugs, luv, Kath
Posted by Phillipa on January 31, 2008, at 0:07:56
In reply to Re: I'm really lonely » tina, posted by Kath on January 30, 2008, at 20:54:13
I don't know you but thought I'd say hi the least I can do for you. Phillipa
Posted by tina on January 31, 2008, at 10:50:49
In reply to Re: I'm really lonely » tina, posted by Kath on January 30, 2008, at 20:54:13
Thanks everybody. I appreciate the advice and sentiments. I'm still depressed. Today, it's sunny, so I'm going to go for a drive in the country. Maybe I'll find a little tearoom with a pretty window and sit there and read the paper. I dunno. I'm just tired of watching everyone I know live these great lives with lots of friends, families, homes, love....all that good stuff, and not having any for myself. It isn't that I don't try, it just feels like no matter how hard I try, I'm still the one who is left alone.
I don't want to be alone.
Kath, I wish you did live closer. I'd come over and have tea every morning!! ;o)
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 31, 2008, at 18:10:18
In reply to Re: I'm really lonely- Kath and everyone, posted by tina on January 31, 2008, at 10:50:49
come to babblechat sometime. I'm having tea right now. and klonopin. mmm. klonopin
Posted by Kath on February 1, 2008, at 17:30:27
In reply to Re: I'm really lonely- Kath and everyone, posted by tina on January 31, 2008, at 10:50:49
Today, it's sunny, so I'm going to go for a drive in the country. Maybe I'll find a little tearoom with a pretty window and sit there and read the paper.
*******Sorry you're depressed. That idea above sounds wonderful; did you find one? I love tearooms*******
I dunno. I'm just tired of watching everyone I know live these great lives with lots of friends, families, homes, love....all that good stuff, and not having any for myself.
****Yo Tina, I'm not trying to belittle your feelings, but we're looking in from the outside when we see other people. Who would believe, seeing me, that I am stressed beyond knowing with my son. Today he came with me to the pottery guild to help me 'clean surfaces'...it was my turn. There were 2 other potters there. Son was very polite & personable (I was proud of him). So, they could think (especially if they had problem kids of their own!) they could think "Oh MAN. She is so lucky. What a nice son & helping his Mom & so polite. What a lucky woman." MEANWHILE he's f***ed his brain up bigtime using drugs, has caused me about 13 years of GRIEF spelled with a BIG "G" & on a daily basis I feel worry & some level of dread as to what's going on with him. NOBODY would guess, Tina. I just wanted to say, I hear how you're feeling & I can understand your feeling like that, but PLEASE keep as part of your reality, that things are NOT always what they seem. Not too many people are going to spout off about how their husband is SO damned grumpy, or how their debts are hitting the roof, or their friends always spend their time bragging & don't even ASK THEM how they're doing.
Ya know what I mean? I hope you can know that although things LOOK a certain way, others might not be as fortunate as they look.
((((((you)))) once again....I'm not trying to be mean or negate your feelings; just encourage a possible 'reality filter'.******It isn't that I don't try, it just feels like no matter how hard I try, I'm still the one who is left alone.
> I don't want to be alone.
> Kath, I wish you did live closer. I'd come over and have tea every morning!! ;o)*******I'm sorry you're alone. And BOY do I wish we were closer. In fact, I just mentioned to hubby & we're hereby saying if it works for ya & you want to - come on out for a few days! Then we could have tea together for a few days at least!!! No pressure; just if you want to & could afford to, etc. luv ya, Kath****
Posted by Kath on February 1, 2008, at 17:34:56
In reply to Re: I'm really lonely- Kath and everyone » tina, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on January 31, 2008, at 18:10:18
Yeah Tina, come to Chat - & everyone else too!
I wonder if sometimes, there are some of us 'here' & when we look at Babblechat it says "0" so we assume nobody else is on PB.
I've started to sign in to Room 2 at Chat when I come onto PB (If I have enough time to know I can stay a bit). Then I just put a sentence there saying I'll check back every few minuter.
Then I do check.If we all did that, there'd be more chance of there being a Chat happen.
What do people think?
Kath
PS - Tina - Sorry to sort of divert the topic of your loneliness. Lonely sucks. Have you ever done any volunteer work? Sometimes it might help; sometimes it might make someone feel even more lonely.
Posted by Kath on February 1, 2008, at 20:14:39
In reply to I'm really lonely, posted by tina on January 30, 2008, at 18:05:28
Tina - please look at Racer's reply to Llurpsienoodle's "I need more IRL friends" below........
hugs, kath
Posted by tina on February 2, 2008, at 10:31:29
In reply to Re: I'm really lonely » tina, posted by Kath on February 1, 2008, at 20:14:39
kath
Have I told you lately that I love you and you are a fantastic friend? If I haven't, I should have, every day. You're amazing. Strong, caring, generous, sweet, patient, compassionate and the list could go on and on.
You rock.
Thank you thank you thank you.
((((Kath))))
Still wish you lived just down the road.
Posted by Kath on February 2, 2008, at 14:59:18
In reply to Re: I'm really lonely » Kath, posted by tina on February 2, 2008, at 10:31:29
blush & I ALWAYS accept hugs.
luv, kath
This is the end of the thread.
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