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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bluemonday1968 on January 12, 2008, at 10:37:09
Any suggestions?Pretending like it wasn't going
to happen worked great for a while but
as the date grows near I feel like I might
completly lose it.Middle aged and whining
Shawn
Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 11:34:54
In reply to Best way to deal with turning 40, posted by bluemonday1968 on January 12, 2008, at 10:37:09
Well, I always say I'm a year older than I am, so that when the actual time comes, I'll be relieved that I'm not as old as I thought. Actually I'm 47 now (no wait - 46) and I think I'll start saying I'm fifty because that half century mark is a big one and it might take me three years (no wait - four years) to get ready for it.
You know, it's really not that bad. The physical changes are a bit tough, but as for the rest of it, it's not as bad as you'd think. All my favorite movie and TV stars are getting older right along with me. So are my family and friends. It's just a number. The day you turn forty, you aren't a year older, you're a day older than you were the day before. And the next day you'll be a day more than that.
What is it you'd really like to do that you can't do at 40? If there really are things that can't be done as you get older, it might be a good idea to start working on doing them, or to grieve that you never will do them, or to replace those goals with some that aren't age dependent. You can be president now, you know. You couldn't until you were thirtyfive. But any number of things can be done at any age.
So I guess overall, I'm saying acceptance rather than denial? What is, is. Not accepting what is inevitable causes a lot of pain. What you make of what is is up to you. Maybe planning what to make of it can make it seem less threatening and even a bit exciting?
Posted by MissK on January 12, 2008, at 11:58:36
In reply to Best way to deal with turning 40, posted by bluemonday1968 on January 12, 2008, at 10:37:09
You could always get a tattoo to mark the occasion. Or, schedule a little getaway and pamper yourself.
I read somewhere that 40 is the old age of youth and the youth of old age. Some say 40s are the new 30s. Maybe try to thinking of it in those terms.
Posted by Jamal Spelling on January 12, 2008, at 12:04:59
In reply to Re: Best way to deal with turning 40, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2008, at 11:34:54
When you turn 50, you'll wish you could be 40 again! Anyway, you may age physically, but it is within your control whether you *behave* old. There are many older people who are psychologically much more youthful and pleasant to be around than many younger people who act old.
I find that I feel younger and happier by walking with a firm, upright posture and putting a nice spring in my step.
Posted by Phillipa on January 12, 2008, at 12:33:04
In reply to Re: Best way to deal with turning 40, posted by Jamal Spelling on January 12, 2008, at 12:04:59
Oh would love to be 40 again that is only two years after started working. My 40's were my happiest and healthiest years. Not 60 is the big one no turning back. Honestly 40 is wonderful.Love Phillipa ps I'm jelous but wish you much happiness
Posted by Kath on January 12, 2008, at 13:00:28
In reply to Best way to deal with turning 40, posted by bluemonday1968 on January 12, 2008, at 10:37:09
Recently I mentioned being 60 to my friend (in his 50's) who has cancer. This is his 5th bout with cancer & this time, he is NOT going to get better...he & the doctors know that.
SO we were taking about turning 40, 50, 60 etc. How they are big things to adjust to.
He told me that to him, having ANY birthday is a wonderful gift & he is simply thankful to be alive to experience ANY birthday. If I was feeling badly about being 60 - I now realize that Stephen won't be AROUND to have his 60th birthday.
It really gave me a new way of thinking about things. I get upset about the many lines & wrinkles on my face.....I now am realizing that I have been able to live long enough to even HAVE lines & wrinkles!! I guess it's all a matter of perspective.
Hope it might give you a different angle to look at things from.
luv, Kath
PS - I know that turning 60 was very hard for me, but that was before my conversation with Stephen.
Posted by Poet on January 12, 2008, at 13:43:30
In reply to Best way to deal with turning 40, posted by bluemonday1968 on January 12, 2008, at 10:37:09
Hi Shawn,
This is the only place I admit that I am 50. I guess I feel safe online though I have met some of the babblers so they know what I look like, but still in my mind I am not 50. Physically yes, mentally no.
Poet
Posted by Kath on January 12, 2008, at 15:04:50
In reply to Re: Best way to deal with turning 40, posted by Poet on January 12, 2008, at 13:43:30
>In my mind I am not 50. Physically yes, mentally no.
>
> PoetMe too! Sometimes when I just get up or if I'm tired & I look in the mirror, I sorta think - HEY - that can't be me - I don't FEEL like that!
Kath
Posted by bluemonday1968 on January 14, 2008, at 8:48:07
In reply to Re: Best way to deal with turning 40 » Poet, posted by Kath on January 12, 2008, at 15:04:50
Wow I was really starting to lose it
until I read this advice I had started
this stupid countdown like I was awaiting
an execution.The advice from my friends
is as stupid as when I turned 30 .Stuff like1.Start drinking like a fish so I won't even
remember Wednesday.2.Go to Bali
3Go to an emergency room.(I did not know there
was some kind of of treatment for middle age)4.Change my identityand pretend I'm 25.
I think you get the picture.I feel guilty
about making such a big deal about this.I
had hoped that by now I would have stopped
feeling so depressed.I'm already doing all
this age denial stuff like running 6 miles everyday but it seems nothings working.Thank You
Shawn
PsA tattoo would have been great
except I I already covered my
self in them in my wayward youth.
Okay thats enought crying for today
Shawn
Posted by Sigismund on January 15, 2008, at 16:50:20
In reply to Best way to deal with turning 40, posted by bluemonday1968 on January 12, 2008, at 10:37:09
When I turned 50 I left the state, and went bushwalking where no one would find me.
Hope that helps.
Posted by Phillipa on January 15, 2008, at 19:13:57
In reply to Re: Best way to deal with turning 40 +raquo; bluemonday1968, posted by Sigismund on January 15, 2008, at 16:50:20
Sigimund what does raquo mean? I see it lot from your territory. Thanks Phillipa
Posted by Sigismund on January 16, 2008, at 16:14:48
In reply to Re: Best way to deal with turning 40 +raquo; bluemonday1968 » Sigismund, posted by Phillipa on January 15, 2008, at 19:13:57
Now you may see two raquo's, PJ.
But where is my territory?
Posted by Phillipa on January 16, 2008, at 19:10:49
In reply to Re: Best way to deal with turning 40 +raquo; bluemonday1968 +raquo; Phillipa, posted by Sigismund on January 16, 2008, at 16:14:48
You and Ace now stop teasing and please explain meaning as think of tennis when see it posted. Love PJ
Posted by Sigismund on January 17, 2008, at 1:01:24
In reply to Re: Best way to deal with turning 40 +raquo; bluemonday1968 +raquo; Phillipa » Sigismund, posted by Phillipa on January 16, 2008, at 19:10:49
Another one!
It does sound like tennis, PJ, but I'm in Japan.
I thought that was the reason.
Posted by Phillipa on January 17, 2008, at 18:40:55
In reply to Re: Best way to deal with turning 40 +raquo; bluemonday1968 +raquo; Phillipa +raquo; Phillipa, posted by Sigismund on January 17, 2008, at 1:01:24
Sigi bet you know and are keeping it a secret. Phillipa
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