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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by your#1fan on November 25, 2007, at 3:07:20
Listen, im in school i feel im with reality. But i just looked at some stuff, papers and some old things of mine that where back in 2004, listen i had a nostalgic feeling. But at the same time, i didnt know what the hell happened for 2 years. I mean i left my ambitions behind, and i have turned into something that i never i wanted to be.
I want to go back into the past right now. But i would have too go through mental relapses that i got through. What the hell happen since 2005? there is some kind of glick that happened to my brain. I still feel like its 2005. I just im walking around in slow motion. Its scary.
What and why did i do.......there are somethings that happened that are confidencial that happened during that time that i dont want to disclose. Thats what put my brain into a hibrination. I mean i had a job, went to school. I mean its just all these things have happened since then.
Its like im realizing, i just woke from a sleep. From May 2005 till now. What happened?
i cant, i have am going to really get back up to date.
I dont know how to explain this mental state.
I need to get reality, and get with life. Get on that sattle and get going! where i am in life, i feel behind.
Its loss of motivation, thats it. All my old interest im not intrested anymore. Im on Prozac but its a diffrent kind of motivation, like intresting things. I've been inhibited. Too less dopamine, and too much vacacy of some nuerons.
What do you think?
Posted by Phillipa on November 25, 2007, at 3:07:20
In reply to I realied i've been hibrinating for 2 years scary., posted by your#1fan on November 21, 2007, at 23:14:26
I think you should e-mail me. You do remember me? Phillipa?????
Posted by bleauberry on November 25, 2007, at 3:07:20
In reply to I realied i've been hibrinating for 2 years scary., posted by your#1fan on November 21, 2007, at 23:14:26
I was on prozac for many years. So I know what you mean. During that time I got many awards at work for being a top achiever and I basically did real well at whatever I did. But, and it's a big but, I really had no interest in anything. I took a written depression quiz at my doc's office and passed with flying colors as being not at all depressed....except for the one question that asked about interest in activities and hobbies, in which I flunked miserably.
2.5mg zypexa was added by my doc, and then up to 5mg. That was quite an improvement. Best sleep of my life. Significant boost in being part of life. I think it had something to do with the prozac/zyprexa synergy of causing a marked increase of serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine firing. After a few months though I still wasn't where I thought I should be and added Adrafinil. Provigil is its very close cousin. Studies show provigil and prozac have excellent synergy. The only reason I stopped these good meds, one at at time beginning with adrafinil, is because I fell into a long phase of heavy daily chronic marijuana usage, which threw my brain chemistry, judgement, and adrenal hormones way off. Which seems permanent. Stay away from pot.
From my own experience, keeping in mind mileage varies, I would say you might want to look at provigil and/or zyprexa along with prozac. Ritalin or adderall could get you there too, except they feel artificial, develope tolerance, and at some point some day will leave you in a bad way. Many doctors would suggest added a noradrenergic agent like wellbutrin, nortriptyline, or desipramine. My doc has always like the SSRI/TCA combos, but these days his first favorite choices are SSRI/antipsychotic combos.
Posted by your#1fan on November 25, 2007, at 3:07:21
In reply to Re: I realied i've been hibrinating for 2 years scary., posted by bleauberry on November 22, 2007, at 13:04:43
thanks i appriciate your indepth-writing post really i do. Gave me some information. But still its just like "what happened?" did i just wake up. I mean i know i've been living ROFL.... but its like part of my mind shut down. Its like it tuned out reality i didnt want to to deal with and then thoughts are coming back to haunt me.
I dont think really this matter is of medication....mmmmm i mean xanax is envolved because i take it, but last night i thought i was litterly in 2005. I just started and looked.
Im thinking about my life rightn now as im writing this post.
But thanks.
yourfan
Posted by stargazer2 on November 25, 2007, at 3:07:21
In reply to Re: I realied i've been hibrinating for 2 years scary., posted by your#1fan on November 22, 2007, at 20:24:37
#1fan...
a few months ago after starting Nardil I said to my pdoc, "I feel like I just woke up", then I asked him "What the 'f' have I been doing for the last year and a half" as if he knew...but basically I was house bound and I couldn't tell you what I did every day but I feel busy or rather my mind was busy some days, other days I was comatose or paranoid about being at home not contributing to society or life at all.It sort of sounds like what you are desribing...I wasn't what I would call depressed all the time but I really was because I didn't leave the house more than a few times a week to grocery shop or see my pdoc, that was the extent of my life.
I couldn't work and now I want to work, although I have low self-esteem from being out of work for so long. The only was I can describe it was like I was "frozen" in time.
Bizarre, but at least I am coming out of that state and who knows what would have happened to me because I was really frustrated by the lack of progress in my treatment. I did spend alot of time on the computer researching other ideas for treatment because my pdoc was very keen on the AP's and I never felt they did anything but mess my balance up. I spent alot of time on the ground last year, that was frightening and misunderstood, even by my pdoc...DUH, it was the Lamictal that did that to me.
Stargazer
Posted by your#1fan on November 25, 2007, at 3:07:21
In reply to Re: I realied i've been hibrinating for 2 years scary., posted by stargazer2 on November 22, 2007, at 23:04:33
you know i think that what maybe you and me have done is "placed" ourselves in a reality of our own. Because maybe i didnt want to deal with what was happening, i mean i functioned like a human being, eat, talk to friends, but my real self, was not there. It was just i was "existing"
All of my old intrest, its like it changed my personality.
In 2005 something happened to me that was, well alot of confidecial things. I just could not take it. I started to just not want to go to family functions.
Its like i left myself behind....a memory of what i was. Now im looking back on it. Its very nostaglic. You know, its actaully doing with contact with my family. I left, and when things get old, new things come, like new families. Its like im looking at what i used to be, and here i am now.
What has caused this, i just figured it out is fear, well for me it is. Because i dont want to deal with having to make descisions that i dont want. But maybe if i made that descion.....my life wouldnt be like this. I wouldnt really feel relationship wise isolated.
There where alot of things that went on during 2004-05. Thats what caused me to run away from it all. And now i regret it, but still today, im still afraid, but "just do it". You may have some jerkin around, everything turns upside down.
Well....lets pick it up in 2008.
your fan
Posted by your#1fan on November 25, 2007, at 3:07:21
In reply to Re: I realied i've been hibrinating for 2 years scary. » your#1fan, posted by Phillipa on November 22, 2007, at 0:17:25
mmmmmmm maybe phillipa, no of course i rerember alot of your advice, and racer's.
Babblemail......waiting.
How was your thanksgiving?
Posted by antigua3 on November 25, 2007, at 8:28:16
In reply to I realied i've been hibrinating for 2 years scary., posted by your#1fan on November 25, 2007, at 3:07:20
I feel like I just woke up from a 10-year absence! It's really tough, isn't it, wondering what you were really doing all that time. I know I was working hard in therapy and caring for my kids, but I really feel like I missed a big portion of that time--at least for me, I didn't do anything for me or my career.
I guess feeling better is what's getting me going now, but I can relate. I just shake my head and ask where have I been?
You'll be OK. Don't think of it as having to go back; you're going forward now, and just accept that you needed that time for some reason.
but I understand the loss of time.
antigua
Posted by Phillipa on November 25, 2007, at 22:54:21
In reply to Re: I realied i've been hibrinating for 2 years scary. » your#1fan, posted by antigua3 on November 25, 2007, at 8:28:16
So redirected to social. Phillipa
Posted by your#1fan on November 25, 2007, at 23:11:01
In reply to Re: I realied i've been hibrinating for 2 years scary. » your#1fan, posted by antigua3 on November 25, 2007, at 8:28:16
i have a post i need yall to read....on pbabble. And Phillipa i know you have disowned me. Im sorry that happened.
Posted by Phillipa on November 26, 2007, at 17:14:26
In reply to Re: I realied i've been hibrinating for 2 years scary., posted by your#1fan on November 25, 2007, at 23:11:01
I haven't disowned you at all. Love Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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