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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by PhoenixGirl on July 22, 2007, at 2:29:10
A *little* cheating, not excessive, I might add. I don't think you can own another person's body, and sex with the same person for life sounds downright boring. In fact, I think it might even be healthy to have a sexual partner on the side occasionally. When sex with someone is *too* available, it's not as alluring anymore, and monogamy makes sex with your partner too available.
Science has shown that monogamy is very rare in mammals and is not normal in primates like us humans. We have to force ourselves to be monogamous.
To me, the key is that the two partners in a relationship are #1 to each other, and affairs are on the side. I also believe the partners should be honest with each other about affairs and should practice safe sex. And there definitely should not be double standards for men and women when it comes to affairs! Men get away with too damn much, and women don't get away with enough.
That said, if I fell in love with a man and he wanted monogamy, I'd compromise and be monogamous to keep him. But I'd take sex breaks to help keep us from taking each other for granted.
America is way to puritan about the subject of sexual fidelity for my tastes.
Posted by Phil on July 22, 2007, at 10:18:47
In reply to I don't believe in monogamy + I'm OK with affairs, posted by PhoenixGirl on July 22, 2007, at 2:29:10
Posted by PhoenixGirl on July 22, 2007, at 12:55:25
In reply to Re: Do you have plans on Tuesday? : ) (nm) » PhoenixGirl, posted by Phil on July 22, 2007, at 10:18:47
Long time no chat. I haven't been here in quite a while.
Posted by Phillipa on July 22, 2007, at 16:27:21
In reply to Nope, come on over! LOL! Hi Phil :-), posted by PhoenixGirl on July 22, 2007, at 12:55:25
Sorry I disagree as what about his wife and children and the marriage vows. Sorry don't buy that thinking at all. Love Phillipa
Posted by PhoenixGirl on July 22, 2007, at 16:31:37
In reply to Re: Nope, come on over! LOL! Hi Phil :-) » PhoenixGirl, posted by Phillipa on July 22, 2007, at 16:27:21
to agree. The man I was with has an adult daughter, and we kept our affair secret. No harm done.
His wife, by the way, let herself go and wasn't interested in sex with him. At risk of sounding harsh, how can she expect him not to stray if she's going to take him for granted like that? I'd think the same way about a man who didn't care about his wife's satisfaction.
Posted by Nathan_Arizona on July 22, 2007, at 18:51:32
In reply to I think it's a personal thing and we don't have +, posted by PhoenixGirl on July 22, 2007, at 16:31:37
I would think that she could expect him not to stray because he swore not to in his marriage vows.
If a couple agress that they are to have an open relationship that's fine, but then why marry?
Posted by Phillipa on July 22, 2007, at 19:43:20
In reply to I think it's a personal thing and we don't have +, posted by PhoenixGirl on July 22, 2007, at 16:31:37
Is this what he told you? Most men say that. So if it's bad why no divorce? Love Phillipa
Posted by Kath on July 24, 2007, at 14:21:12
In reply to I don't believe in monogamy + I'm OK with affairs, posted by PhoenixGirl on July 22, 2007, at 2:29:10
Hi PG - I really respect that you'd be monogomous if that's what the person you loved needed & that you'd figure out ways to keep things 'new'.
My first husband had an affair & something that REALLY hurt me was how could another woman have an affair with my husband?? It felt like the ultimate betrayal.
Some time later (near the end of the affair - which did finally break up our marriage) I visited her & we had tea together out of her special teapot & subsequently my husband was FURIOUS with me because now that we'd met & had tea together, she wouldn't have sex with him any more!!!!
hmmmmmmmmmm
:- ) Kath
This is the end of the thread.
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