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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on March 4, 2007, at 0:12:30
I'm going to study tomorrow. I feel like I'm getting stupider. I'm going to read and study and learn.
If I don't continue learning life is not worth living and I may as well kill myself.
:-(
I'm going to get up early tomorrow, go to the library and study. I need to learn again. I need to stop doing nothing.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on March 4, 2007, at 0:51:19
In reply to I feel my brain turning into mush *trigger*, posted by Deneb on March 4, 2007, at 0:12:30
:-(
Feeling bad
Feeling incompetent
Can't do anything
Such a loser
Feel stupidI have to learn something tomorrow.
Feel bad. Want to die or something. Sentence fragments.
Need to read. Need to learn. Need to feel competent.
Don't want to die, want to live.
Want to really live. Live life.
Don't feel sleepy. Maybe I'll read a book. Ate too much today. Tummy feels bad.
Tomorrow is a new day.
I will learn something tomorrow. I'm going to do things. I should clean my room. I'm going to live.
Deneb*
Posted by Phillipa on March 4, 2007, at 9:31:28
In reply to Re: I feel my brain turning into mush *trigger*, posted by Deneb on March 4, 2007, at 0:51:19
Deneb did you go to the library or study? Love Phillipa
Posted by Larry Hoover on March 4, 2007, at 10:58:15
In reply to I feel my brain turning into mush *trigger*, posted by Deneb on March 4, 2007, at 0:12:30
I truly hope that what I'm about to post is helpful. I'd like to dissect this post because I think it's an excellent example of how thinking pulls feeling behind it.
> I'm going to study tomorrow.
That's a nice starting point. A little vague, but positive. I suspect, though, that the vagueness is a big part of what follows.
> I feel like I'm getting stupider.
That's not a feeling. That's a thinking. You may feel tired? Frustrated? Disappointed? <shrug> The fact is, feeling tired or frustrated or disappointed is not evidence of the conclusion reached here. The thinking of the conclusion creates its own secondary emotional response. That then continues on.....
> I'm going to read and study and learn.
...positive statement, then qualified by catastrophism....
> If I don't continue learning life is not worth living....again, a thinking masquerading as a feeling, but which creates an inevitable emotional reaction, leading to a new thinking.....
> and I may as well kill myself.
....with a new set of feelings.
What has happened is a thinking tangent has arisen from a very basic feeling. A vicious circle has formed, not unlike a tornado arising from much lesser swirling winds. It becomes self-perpetuating. And, it's a learned behaviour. That's not to say it's the least bit conscious, or chosen. But, it can be unlearned. It can be brought into the realm of choice.
It is okay to be tired, or frustrated, or disappointed in oneself. It is okay to be as we are. Don't ever forget the transiency of the feelings, though. Particularly so, if you allow yourself the liberty to have them.
> :-(No doubt. That feeling is reasonable, considering the thinking that preceded it.
> I'm going to get up early tomorrow, go to the library and study. I need to learn again. I need to stop doing nothing.
Contrast this with your earlier declaration, "I'm going to study tomorrow." Although it contains two elements, it's still much simpler than this new hurdle you've thought into existence.
Why not get up later, after getting the sleep you need, and consider then if it is your choice to go to the library? You've linked a series of decisions, such that a failure in one is a failure of them all. If getting up early makes it more likely that you will then choose to go to the library, then isolate the act of getting up early from the latter decision point. They are independent.....unless you choose to make it otherwise.
> Deneb*Lar*
Posted by Dinah on March 4, 2007, at 11:25:51
In reply to I feel my brain turning into mush *trigger*, posted by Deneb on March 4, 2007, at 0:12:30
I hope that doesn't mean life is no longer worth living. I am almost positive that something, be it medications or diabetes or whatever, has turned my brain into mush.
It's really hard for me to acknowledge that I'm not as smart as I used to be, since being smart was such a huge part of my self image. Who am I if I'm not smart and quick of mind?
I think overall it's a good idea to keep your mind active in one way or another. Going to the library to study is a good way. But try not to put so much weight on it. It'll just increase anxiety and decrease thinking ability.
I have to admit that I was drawn to your subject line. I've been wanting to post that for a long time, but I haven't been sure how to do it.
Posted by gardenergirl on March 4, 2007, at 12:07:06
In reply to Re: I feel my brain turning into mush *trigger* » Deneb, posted by Dinah on March 4, 2007, at 11:25:51
Also, learning doesn't only mean academic work. There's a whole world out there to see and touch and experience. Give yourself credit for the life things you are learning everyday. You can also set out to learn about something you've always been interested in or are attracted to now. It doesn't have to be "important" learning. See what's going on at a community center, adult education classes, craft stores, lectures, libraries, etc. Give yourself a break and do something WANT to do, will feel good about doing, and will feed that craving for knew information.
(((deneb)))
namaste
gg
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on March 4, 2007, at 12:25:37
In reply to Re: I feel my brain turning into mush *trigger* » Deneb, posted by Larry Hoover on March 4, 2007, at 10:58:15
Hey Lar,
Is that an example of 'mindfulness' at work? It sure looks like a very (very!) useful way of looking at things.
Hmmmmm.
I'm gonna have to give it some thought (!)
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by Dinah on March 4, 2007, at 12:32:47
In reply to Re: I feel my brain turning into mush *trigger*, posted by gardenergirl on March 4, 2007, at 12:07:06
Forcing yourself to study something that doesn't interest you isn't likely to stimulate the brain and make it feel less mushy.
Posted by Larry Hoover on March 4, 2007, at 12:45:16
In reply to Re: I feel my brain turning into mush *trigger* » Larry Hoover, posted by Meri-Tuuli on March 4, 2007, at 12:25:37
> Is that an example of 'mindfulness' at work? It sure looks like a very (very!) useful way of looking at things.
I believe it is. Well, as much as an objective mind can impose pseudo-subjectivity upon such a a narrative. I'm a third party to it.
Mindfulness does not judge. It observes.
Mindfulness can permit reflective analysis such as I have tried to do. In essence, trying to answer the implied questions, "How did I get to feeling this way? How did I get here?"
Lar
Posted by Declan on March 4, 2007, at 13:33:13
In reply to Re: I feel my brain turning into mush *trigger* » Meri-Tuuli, posted by Larry Hoover on March 4, 2007, at 12:45:16
>Mindfulness can permit reflective analysis such as I have tried to do. In essence, trying to answer the implied questions, "How did I get to feeling this way? How did I get here?"<
How can this be?
Posted by Larry Hoover on March 4, 2007, at 18:22:40
In reply to The Ayotollah of Mindfulness, posted by Declan on March 4, 2007, at 13:33:13
> >Mindfulness can permit reflective analysis such as I have tried to do. In essence, trying to answer the implied questions, "How did I get to feeling this way? How did I get here?"<
>
> How can this be?I'm not clear on what your question is about. I fear your question reflects a similar state of mind about what I wrote?
Lar
Posted by Deneb on March 6, 2007, at 19:36:40
In reply to Re: I feel my brain turning into mush *trigger*, posted by Deneb on March 4, 2007, at 0:51:19
I need to feel good about myself again. I need to be able to succeed at what I do.
I'm going to do some high school math. I'm going to look for a job and in my spare time I'm going to do basic high school math. I got two math textbooks from the library and I started working on some problems today. I need to build some confidence in myself and doing easy problems and getting the right answers will help. When I finish high school math, I'll revisit my university math courses. When I'm done with that I'll get some more university math textbooks and learn new math. I should do some physics too.
I like doing problems and getting the right answers. So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to do math. It'll keep my mind active.
I'm off to do some basic math.
Deneb*
This is the end of the thread.
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