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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on February 8, 2007, at 22:37:47
I'm really angry and I don't know why exactly. I'm just angry! I feel like punching the wall. I hate this!
How do I handle this?
Deneb*
Posted by scratchpad on February 8, 2007, at 22:46:09
In reply to So angry!, posted by Deneb on February 8, 2007, at 22:37:47
punch something other than the wall. a pillow or entire bed. let some energy out, and then think about whether it makes u feel better or not.
when i'm angry i have a lot of excess energy and it can translate into self destructive behaviour. i used to have a voodoo doll that had velcro appendages. When you shook it back and forth they all flew off. It really brought me back to earth to see it.
Scratch
Posted by Deneb on February 8, 2007, at 23:09:10
In reply to Re: So angry!, posted by scratchpad on February 8, 2007, at 22:46:09
I hate how my parents are worried about me! I hate it! I hate how they keep asking me if I'm OK. I hate it! It's soooo annoying! I hate it!
Leave me alone! If I don't want to get out of bed, leave me alone! Don't keep trying to get me out of bed!
Stop trying to get me to do things! Leave me the f*ck alone!
Posted by Deneb on February 8, 2007, at 23:59:45
In reply to Re: So angry!, posted by Deneb on February 8, 2007, at 23:09:10
I don't feel so good. :-(
I'm anxious, worried about my future. I feel bad. I hate this. I dropped my classes, but I'm still stressed out. This is not good.
I just want to feel happy again. I don't feel right. I think I'm losing my mind.
I want to feel better. Please help me.
Posted by MidnightBlue on February 9, 2007, at 0:23:56
In reply to I don't feel so good, posted by Deneb on February 8, 2007, at 23:59:45
Deneb,
I don't think your doctor is helping you enough. She may be helping you, but it isn't enough. Can you try to see a different doctor? I think that might be a good idea to get another opinion on what meds and what treatment would be best for you. Do NOT stop the meds you are taking, just ask your doctor if she thinks someone else or a different med might help you more.
Midnightblue
Posted by Fivefires on February 9, 2007, at 0:39:50
In reply to I don't feel so good, posted by Deneb on February 8, 2007, at 23:59:45
Hi Deneb. You must be either up late or over here in the western part of the country.
Anger ... I wish I could even feel it. I know I should. I keep shoving everything inside and saying to myself 'that's their problem then', but still their wrongs are so wrong, and sometimes I feel like I just need to tell them. But, when I do it only ends up hurting me.
I'm got a line on some Archangels I'll send to you for healing. If you aren't religious, don't worry about it. They don't 'go to church' either. (Not funny? No prob' not. I've been feeling pretty awful myself.
I will think of you as I now go close my eyes and hope tomorrow will be a butter day.
5f
Posted by Deneb on February 9, 2007, at 1:02:03
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good » Deneb, posted by MidnightBlue on February 9, 2007, at 0:23:56
I see my pdoc on Mon. I need a miracle. I don't know if I believe in God, but I pray some med or something will make me feel better. I'm all over the place. Unstable.
I don't know if I can see a different doctor. I'm pretty sure I need a referral.
Deneb*
Posted by Honore on February 9, 2007, at 8:33:48
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good » MidnightBlue, posted by Deneb on February 9, 2007, at 1:02:03
Deneb, if you like your pdoc and feel that she's the right T for you, you can tell us that. You have the right to have her for a pdoc, if you feel that she's doing enough, and that she's someone you trust.
I would respect that.
But I'd like to be sure that's your basic judgment about her. I'd like to know. A big part of why I and other here question and push you about getting a new T, or doing DBT (other than DBT, or some deeper, more interpersonally intense, T is probablly the best *type* of therapy for you--) is because you portray her as somneone who isn't paying attention, and isn't doing enough to intervene decisively during this crisis. There *are* things a good T can do.
Do you feel hopeless enough, that you can't change Ts, even though you don't believe in her? Or is it that you believe in her, and are uncomfortable contradicting me, when I (or others) try to say otherwise?
Honore
Posted by Dinah on February 9, 2007, at 9:49:37
In reply to I don't feel so good, posted by Deneb on February 8, 2007, at 23:59:45
Deneb, perhaps a day program would be useful to you at this point? I am a bit worried about you having the entire day available to think and worry and interact with your parents.
It's a work day today, can you call your pdoc today? If she can't see you, maybe she can at least give you some medication advice, or call something in to the pharmacy.
Have you ever done meditation? It's hard to do when you're upset, but it's good for rumination.
I don't know if I'm picking up the correct picture, but I'm getting the feeling that you're isolating yourself right now and your main interaction is with your parents. That would have made *me* feel like I was losing it when I lived with my parents. I know it's hard when you're upset, but is there any way to introduce some healthy environments into your day?
Posted by Phillipa on February 9, 2007, at 10:10:27
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good » Deneb, posted by Dinah on February 9, 2007, at 9:49:37
Deneb are you taking your meds? Maybe Dinah is right and you should ask for a day program? Love Phillipa
Posted by Fivefires on February 9, 2007, at 13:37:52
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good » MidnightBlue, posted by Deneb on February 9, 2007, at 1:02:03
If you can't get some outside help today Deneb, being it's Fri., for your sake at least 'try to contact your T'. It will look good that you made an effort to help yourself. Then, maybe go lie down somewhere. Lie in a comforting position to u, maybe w/ your fav' blanket or throw. (I have a blankie w/ sheep on it that someone I loved gave to me.) Relax your body and focus on the position of your body, making yourself comfortable, making yourself almost feel a little sensual (not in a creey bad sexual way, but in a good sexual way, in a beautiful way, and relax and think about the position of your body.
I'm gonna' go do that for an hour or so right now as I have a scary appt. this afternoon.
The above is actually a skill I learned in DBT.
Oh, and if noise or others' talking bothers you or interferes w/ your remaining calm, do you have some ear plugs?
I put them in when I hear something I don't like, like laughing when I'm feelin' really down, or sometimes when I want to make a lot of noise and not worry about what other people think! I know, I'm bad.
Actually the ear plug thing isn't a part of DBT. It's just a me thing.
hugs, whooooppppps I almost (never mind), 5f
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on February 9, 2007, at 16:50:25
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good, posted by Fivefires on February 9, 2007, at 13:37:52
Whats DBT?
I think there's some good advice here. Perhaps if all else fails, you could just go and see a movie by yourself? You know, just something to take yourself away from it all for an hour or two?Kind regards
Meri
Posted by Deneb on February 9, 2007, at 19:34:04
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good » Deneb, posted by Honore on February 9, 2007, at 8:33:48
I believe my pdoc is trying her hardest to help me. No one else has ever tired so hard to help me. I don't want to lose her.
I feel bad about hurting my Mom. I made her cry last night. I yelled at her. I didn't want her call me all the time and I didn't want her to push food on me. Today she came home and didn't say a word to me. She didn't call me today. I told her I wasn't eating dinner and she didn't say anything. I think I really hurt her. I feel bad.
Deneb*
Posted by sunnydays on February 9, 2007, at 21:26:07
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good, posted by Deneb on February 9, 2007, at 19:34:04
> I believe my pdoc is trying her hardest to help me. No one else has ever tired so hard to help me. I don't want to lose her.
>
> I feel bad about hurting my Mom. I made her cry last night. I yelled at her. I didn't want her call me all the time and I didn't want her to push food on me. Today she came home and didn't say a word to me. She didn't call me today. I told her I wasn't eating dinner and she didn't say anything. I think I really hurt her. I feel bad.
>
> Deneb***** Your mom might really like it if you apologized, then. It would be a really nice gesture, and it would be coming from the heart since you feel bad. I bet it would help her feel better.
sunnydays
Posted by MidnightBlue on February 9, 2007, at 22:27:52
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good » MidnightBlue, posted by Deneb on February 9, 2007, at 1:02:03
Deneb,
That is what I'm asking: can you get referral?
MB
Posted by Deneb on February 10, 2007, at 0:36:42
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good » Deneb, posted by MidnightBlue on February 9, 2007, at 22:27:52
> Deneb,
>
> That is what I'm asking: can you get referral?
>
> MBI don't know MB.
OMG, I'm really anxious. I feel like I'm going to die. Will alcohol help? I'm desperate. Will I ever feel normal again? I'm really scared.
I feel best right after sleeping. As the day goes on, I get more and more anxious and/or irritable.
How do I feel better? I'm scared. I feel like I'm going to die.
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on February 10, 2007, at 4:24:22
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good, posted by Deneb on February 10, 2007, at 0:36:42
> I feel best right after sleeping. As the day goes on, I get more and more anxious and/or irritable.
So do I actually. I have no idea what this indicates. Do you have any idea Deneb?
Meri
Posted by sunnydays on February 10, 2007, at 10:12:46
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good, posted by Deneb on February 10, 2007, at 0:36:42
> OMG, I'm really anxious. I feel like I'm going to die. Will alcohol help? I'm desperate. Will I ever feel normal again? I'm really scared.
**** I hate that feeling. In the short run, alcohol might help, but that's not guaranteed, and in the long run it'll probably make you feel sick. Yes, you will feel normal again. ((((Deneb)))) I hate feeling anxious. Try to breathe deeply. It tells your body there's no reason to be anxious and it can help calm your physical response (heart racing, etc.) a little bit.
>
> I feel best right after sleeping. As the day goes on, I get more and more anxious and/or irritable.**** For me, I get more and more sad, but I think that trend is common. I don't know why.
>
> How do I feel better? I'm scared. I feel like I'm going to die.
**** Just try to breathe in and out, slowly. With time, you will feel better.sunnydays
Posted by Honore on February 10, 2007, at 11:30:37
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good, posted by sunnydays on February 10, 2007, at 10:12:46
Let me go out on a limb here, in reference to your dream about having seix with your pdoc (!).
I'd say having sex means that you're feeling some connection to her-- something private and maybe a little scary-- but intense.
And you Parents (your Father could stand for both of them) don't like this connection; It might threaten them, or be outside what they know or can control-- They (or he) don't trust or understand the idea of therapy, so maybe it seems scary or unacceptable
So, they (or he, or your Mom) are watching, somewhat disapprovingly-- They're invading your privacy and your right to have a new relationship that feels good. You want them to go away (you hide under the covers), so you can have this relationship without feeling intruded on, without hiding and feeling self-conscious or maybe guilty.
I'm glad you trust your pdoc and that she's trying to help. It's a good thing. Maybe over time, you can explain more to her about DBT, especially as we do it here-- She might be able to see some of the benefits. Then maybe she'll refer you to a group-- and you can see her and have the DBT.
That would be great. I'm sorry your parents are pressuring you and upsetting you-- they're probably worried and don' t know how to help. I think they want the best for you, but they don't express themselves in a good or supportive way.
You're doing really well-- maybe right now, you don't see it-- because things seem to be falling apart. But in the long run, I see a bright future for you.
I'm looking forward to doing the DBT.
Honore
Posted by Larry Hoover on February 10, 2007, at 13:59:12
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good, posted by Deneb on February 10, 2007, at 0:36:42
> Will I ever feel normal again? I'm really scared.
> How do I feel better? I'm scared. I feel like I'm going to die.
Mindfulness. The first step in learning DBT.
You've created an emotional vicious circle. Your fear is feeding on itself.
You can decide to change that.
Far, far, easier said than done. Of course. But, even the longest journey begins with a single step.
You're not going to die, Deneb. Your fear won't kill you. However, even using this kind of language is maladaptive.
Any behaviour that makes you feel worse is maladaptive. You may need some help to see the link. You can learn adaptive behaviours. Ones that help you feel better. It may not feel like you have one to make, but it is a choice.
Consider: This is how you feel without DBT.
I mean that solely as food for thought.
Lar
Posted by Fivefires on February 10, 2007, at 17:08:13
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good, posted by Deneb on February 10, 2007, at 0:36:42
RU hyperventilating Deneb?
If so, U do need an anxiolytic .. a benzo.
If U are hyperventilating and it is lasting ... geez even 30minute, w/o letting up, you do need an effective benzo.
When your anxiety is more under control, then you can decide if you would like to learn DBT. It is not an ez thing to do, so like I said, you need to be more stabile to begin it. Although, some of the skills that are practiced may help you become more stabile as well. I hate to say this, but one is a proper diet. Yep, I know you might not feel hungry, but your mom was right to bring u the food. Hope u and she talked.
Hope UR ok this eve. I'm havin' troub' myself. Will be thinking of you.
5f
Posted by Fivefires on February 10, 2007, at 17:49:01
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good, posted by Deneb on February 10, 2007, at 0:36:42
If UR hyperventilating or having a panic attack or even 'way anxious' .. an alternative to a benzo, which work well, are following:
The best for me is a tsp of powder-form taurine and then wash down w/ something to drink.
Secondly, should take daily magnesium and calcium, .. a 1:2 ratio.
I use these when my anxiety is overwhelming and I'm not able control it w/ DBT skills or Valium.
5f
Posted by Deneb on February 11, 2007, at 23:09:19
In reply to Re: I don't feel so good, posted by sunnydays on February 10, 2007, at 10:12:46
Thanks for your support everyone.
I feel better today. Maybe I was having too much caffeine.
Deneb*
This is the end of the thread.
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