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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on January 26, 2007, at 16:08:28
I have a small headache and I went to get some Advil, but I discovered my parents hid them from me.
My Mom calls me several times a day now.
When will I gain their trust again?
Deneb*
Posted by Kath on January 26, 2007, at 16:26:51
In reply to My parents hid all the aspirin and Advil, posted by Deneb on January 26, 2007, at 16:08:28
> I have a small headache and I went to get some Advil, but I discovered my parents hid them from me.
>
> My Mom calls me several times a day now.
>
> When will I gain their trust again?
>
> Deneb*Hi Deneb,
First, I think it's good that the pills are out of easy reach for moments of impulsivity.
Second, I'm sorry you have a headache.
Third, it'll take a while for them to feel OK but I don't think it's necessarily a matter of trust.
They're worried about you & want to have your home be a 'safe place' for you. They're concerned about how you're feeling, hence the phonecalls.
When my son was in that bad state, I was calling daily - not because I didn't trust him, but because I knew he felt awful, wanted him to know I cared about him, wanted to reach out to him. I was also scared & needed to hear his voice so I'd know he was OK.
A very natural result of what happened is that your parents are going to worry about you. That can't be helped. My son could say, (and did) "don't worry about me Mom. I don't want you to worry." Do you think that did any good????
Nope - I WORRIED!!!
Just maybe try to relax & interpret the calls as them caring about you rather than not trusting you. And keep in mind, there are various ways of acting when worried. Worry can come out as angry, pestering, hovering, to name a few.
You can make a choice: you can interpret your parents' behaviour from a negative angle or from a positive angle. Why not choose the positive?
hugs, Kath
Posted by Deneb on January 26, 2007, at 16:50:52
In reply to Re: My parents hid all the aspirin and Advil » Deneb, posted by Kath on January 26, 2007, at 16:26:51
I wish I never told my parents about my ODs. I wish I didn't go to the ER. I don't want my parents to worry. My Mom already has anxiety problems, I don't want to add to them.
I hate this. I hate all this attention from my parents. I hate being watched. I wish I lived alone. I hate this. I want my parents to leave me alone.
I'm sorry, I can't see my parents' point of view. I just want to be selfishly left alone.
I want to be able to take an Advil if I want. I hate this.
I just want things to go back to normal. I hate this. I'm never going to OD again, but if I do and it's not serious I'm not going to tell.
I hate this!!! I don't want my parents fussing over me! They talk to me all the time now. They're constantly asking if I'm OK. I just want to be left alone!
I don't want them to care about me if it means they will be constantly checking up on me.
I'm a horrible person.
Deneb*
Posted by Kath on January 26, 2007, at 17:16:18
In reply to Re: My parents hid all the aspirin and Advil, posted by Deneb on January 26, 2007, at 16:50:52
>> I'm a horrible person.
>
> Deneb*Hey Deneb, nobody else would be allowed to say that about you without dire consequences!! Please be civil to yourself. :-))))
I don't think you qualify as a horrible person:
H
O
R
R
I
B
L
EHates everyone
Only thinks of themself
Rants & raves at store clerks
Randomly scowls at anyone in their path
Ignores others when they speak
Breaks peoples' cherished belongings
Likes to kick dogs
Endlessly yells at childrenSorry you're feeling upset Deneb.
I hope you feel better soon. When do you see your pdoc?
hugs, Kath
Posted by Deneb on January 26, 2007, at 17:37:23
In reply to Re: My parents hid all the aspirin and Advil » Deneb, posted by Kath on January 26, 2007, at 17:16:18
I see my pdoc on Mon. What should I tell her?
I'm OK. I'm not angry anymore. My parents leave me alone for the most part. I'm alone now. I can do whatever I want to. I'm free.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on January 26, 2007, at 18:12:54
In reply to Re: My parents hid all the aspirin and Advil, posted by Deneb on January 26, 2007, at 17:37:23
I don't want my parents to care about me. I don't know why. I don't mind if Babblers care about me. I like that Babblers care, but I don't like it when my parents show they care.
Maybe I don't like getting too close to people. Maybe that's why I love Bob so much. We will never be close. It feels safe. I know Bob cares about me as a fellow human being, but I know he doesn't worry about me. I hate having people worry about me. Babblers are a little less safe, but much safer than interacting with my IRL friends. I don't like it when Babblers worry about me, but I know they worry less than my parents or my Mom.
I love Bob. :-) I love Babblers.
I don't love my parents the same way. I love them, but I don't like to show it. I also don't want them to show it. I wish they didn't care about me as much as they do. I hate feeling like I'm hurting them.
I love Bob soooo much. I know Bob would feel a little bit sad but not devastated if I died. My Mom told me she would commit suicide if I died. I hate that she tells me these things. I hate it.
I love people who don't love me so much they sacrifice their lives for me. I just hate that my parents sacrificed their lives for me. I hate it. It makes me feel guilty. I hate how much they care. I hate it. I wish they didn't care so much.
I love Babblers. I love Bob even more. I wish I loved my parents the same way, but I don't.
Deneb*
Posted by Phillipa on January 26, 2007, at 19:55:29
In reply to Re: My parents hid all the aspirin and Advil, posted by Deneb on January 26, 2007, at 18:12:54
Deneb why do you think your parents sacrificed their lives for you? What makes you think that? Love Phillipa
Posted by sunnydays on January 26, 2007, at 20:14:50
In reply to My parents hid all the aspirin and Advil, posted by Deneb on January 26, 2007, at 16:08:28
It will probably take a long, long time Deneb. Unfortunately trust takes a long time to repair... I'm finding that now because I called my brother's therapist when I was worried about him, and he is very mad at me. It will take a while, but what they are doing by hiding the aspirin and Advil is a good thing, Deneb. They are protecting you. They care. And by the way, it's ok not to take Advil when you have a headache - I tend to err on the side of not taking medication, just because there are reasons our bodies do things, and if it's stress, or lack of sleep, or something I'd rather try that then try medicine. But I'm sorry your head was hurting. :(
((((((Deneb))))))
sunnydays
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