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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 12:26:52
How can I ever get better? When there is no money coming in and it's all my fault as I can't be alone. And that means my husband is here. I suggested an internet job since painting boats outside now is impossible. I have to give him my savings to pay bills with then what. I wake up to this thought each morning. So How do I manage to be alone? I've been with him for four years now daily. I don't even have the dogs won't go out without him they hate me. I need something to make me unafraid and then where does he think he's going to work the guilt is consuming me can anyone help. Well of course not it's up to me. But thanks anyway. Love Phillipa thanks for letting me rant. Bob will you pay me to work on the site? I know nothing about computers.
Posted by one woman cine on January 22, 2007, at 12:43:00
In reply to Will Never Get Better, posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 12:26:52
Well, you have to think positive - what can you do to get better - are you in therapy?
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on January 22, 2007, at 12:49:08
In reply to Will Never Get Better, posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 12:26:52
Hey PJ!
Well, ummm, when you ride your bike are you alone??
I think you should do stuff in ultra ultra small steps. Like start off with a minute alone. Then two mintues alone. Then walk around your house outside alone. Then walk up the street and back again on your own. Then slowly build it up......
I mean, I've sort of starting doing this myself. But with me its posioning myself fears. So I've been fighting it alot. Making myself buy things I wouldn't normally touch with a pole. Little by little I'm challenging myself. Perhaps you could so the same?
The thing is, I'm fine being alone during the day or the evening, but being alone when I'm sleeping in an empty house really freaks me out. But last summer, I had to be alone for a month sleeping at night by myself. You do get used to it.
What do you think will happen when you're alone?
But can you not go back to nursing?? You won't be alone when you're nursing surely? I think you must be the best psych nurse in NC. You're so kind and understanding and completely non-judgemental with people with mental problems.
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by Jo U.K on January 22, 2007, at 13:05:23
In reply to Will Never Get Better, posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 12:26:52
So sorry to see you're so low, the fact that you are ranting goes to show that there is fight in you Phillipa. It may be up to you to make a start on helping yourself, but there's no harm or guilt involved in asking for/ receiving support. The only internet job I can think of is buying/selling on ebay.
Best wishes to you. Jo
Posted by Gee on January 22, 2007, at 16:15:49
In reply to Will Never Get Better, posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 12:26:52
You might never get fully better, but you are making progress. What about the volunteering that you're doing. That's a HUGE positive step. Is there any way you could get a few hours of work doing that each week? What about getting some else to stay with you? Have you contacted your local mental health agencey (the public one?) to see how they could help you out. Maybe someone could come and stay with you while your hubby went out. You have fight Pillipa. Remember "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog". I know money is hard, but you will end up where you're suppose to.
Posted by Clockwork Ange on January 22, 2007, at 17:36:38
In reply to Will Never Get Better, posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 12:26:52
> How can I ever get better? When there is no money coming in and it's all my fault as I can't be alone. And that means my husband is here. I suggested an internet job since painting boats outside now is impossible. I have to give him my savings to pay bills with then what. I wake up to this thought each morning. So How do I manage to be alone? I've been with him for four years now daily. I don't even have the dogs won't go out without him they hate me. I need something to make me unafraid and then where does he think he's going to work the guilt is consuming me can anyone help. Well of course not it's up to me. But thanks anyway. Love Phillipa thanks for letting me rant. Bob will you pay me to work on the site? I know nothing about computers.
Oh honey big hugs to you (((((Ph)))))
I know it sounds cliche, but it's about focusing on one day at a time- sometimes even one hour at a time.. and take pride in the small steps you take- they prepare you for the bigger steps.
Do you think you could imagine being alone... and explaining the process of becoming afraid to us? For example, something like- "When I sit, and realize I'm alone, I can hear everything in the house- the clock ticking... and that's when I start thinking about...."
Sometimes walking others through your process can help you pick things apart and can also benefit those trying to help you best- so we know your thought process....
We are here for you!
Posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 19:48:01
In reply to Re: Will Never Get Better, posted by Clockwork Ange on January 22, 2007, at 17:36:38
Seriously? I used to be very independant and loved being alone I was working then and felt I deserved this time alone. Now not working I feel I'm plain lazy and not contributing. And when I was a kid no one was ever home to great me when I came home. And it was scarey as my Mother was sick and told me she would die one day. Doesn't that sound silly from someone who moved from Connecticut to Virginia by themself and bought their own house, had three kids, and put themself through nursing school and won all these awards? Love Phillipa ps my age has triggered it I know that.And believe it or not I can't find a therapist who will help me formulate a plan. Oh I do go to the store and ride my bike alone. It's being in the house alone. What is wrong with me. It's right under my thumb and for the life of me can't figure it out.
Posted by TexasChic on January 22, 2007, at 19:51:48
In reply to Re: Will Never Get Better, posted by Clockwork Ange on January 22, 2007, at 17:36:38
Yes Phillipa, we are here for you. AND we understand. Its hard. Have you considered getting a pet of your own? My kitty has been a lifesaver for me. Someone who depends on you. Its not a solution, just a suggestion.
I hope you feel better soon!
-T
Posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 21:07:09
In reply to Re: Will Never Get Better, posted by TexasChic on January 22, 2007, at 19:51:48
T sorry I have three. Two dogs and a cat. Problem too is that the pups wont' go out to pee or poop if Greg doesn't take them. We have a neighborhood association that says leashes. And in the morning when they wake-up they have to go so do I go out naked? Well maybe if I did the association would get a hint? Love Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 21:07:52
In reply to Re: Will Never Get Better, posted by TexasChic on January 22, 2007, at 19:51:48
If only I had a fence. Love Phillipa
Posted by Declan on January 23, 2007, at 1:24:40
In reply to Re: Will Never Get Better, posted by Phillipa on January 22, 2007, at 21:07:52
We have a beagle who leaps the fence and tracks down and mauls the neighbourhood sheep.
The fines for this rise to eventually A$60,000.
Well, if you don't want beagles, don't have children.But being in the house alone is hard, hey?
I understand that being alone in the house is lonely, especially in our lonely society.
But spooky as well?
I dunno......when I feel really bad, I curl up with a history book on the causes of WWI........it is the dangerous nature of the choices, the sheer impossibility of getting it right and navigating through the hazards without disaster, and the terrible result of it all........ that I find profoundly relaxing.So, what if this is as good as it gets?
You know better than most about aging, and how it can end up.
There's hope that things can get better, and then again, there's finding good stuff amongst the wreckage of our lives.
Gratitude is a state of grace........and I'm sure you are grateful for the friends you have made here, as I am.Someone said of me 'he does try to opine so much', which is true, but we're all different, with the particular things that make us so.
We don't appreciate these things enough, perhaps.love, Declan
This is the end of the thread.
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