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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 20 of 20. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by corafree on November 9, 2006, at 2:12:53
Is that thing all over the US?
Okay, I'm gonna' be a brat and say, "It isn't full of losers, is it?"
Anyone know?
I never had to 'go looking' in all my life. But now, if I want to meet a partner to get up in the morning w/ and have coffee and talk about our plans, to touch base w/ on and off during the day, to walk hand-in-hand with at flea markets, not a 'sweep-me-off-my-feet' and not a 'bore-me-till-I'm-asleep', but a middle of the road guy. He must be able to work on cars and good with handyman stuff. A man's man, but not put his hands on a woman unless to care for her. Do they have these at matchdotcom?
Guess I should have hung on to one of my past guys.
But I was so picky.
It's just wrong to go to church to look for a partner!
I can't go to the bar here as it's bikers, burnt-out tweakers and hippies ... except for the ones that aren't and are married. I would never go out w/ a married man.
I'm really a good catch (I know I'm a bragging brat!) but I'm so picky, and if I have to go to matchdotcom 'there must be something really wrong with me that well I guess you guys know about'.
What do I say when he says 'why RU on SSD?' or 'what do U do for a living' or 'do you own or rent' ...
Somebutty save me b4 I'm too old!
Can anyone recommend a good site?
Oh geez ... I've just been broken up w/ ICM for a week and I already think I must have an immediate replacement. Not very patient of me.
I need to learn to be patient. Yeah right. I start talking to peeps in check-out lines just for something to do. The rest of the peeps don't talk to each other. They all look at me while I'm just striking up conversations w/ peeps I don't know, like 'oh, is that good cake? I've never tried that'. (I like to look in other peep's carts and see what they buy.) Oh, and here's a tip about buy greeting cards ... stand on your tippy toes over the isle and look down upon the cards in the section applicable ... whenever you see only one or two left, you can be pretty sure they're good cards! It saves you standing there reading all day. Someone else did it 4u.
This is strange, what's wrong w/ me tonight?
cf
Posted by Jay on November 9, 2006, at 9:37:24
In reply to Shall I sign up at matchdotcom?, posted by corafree on November 9, 2006, at 2:12:53
Well...I'll share a bit of my experience. And it isn't that good...so.
First, I've been told by most women, that women don't respond to men, only men to women. The only exception is if he looks like a moviestar.(OK...that may be a BIT of an overstatement...but...read on...) Second, it seems these places are made up of many people who just seem to like being told how "cute" or "sexy" they are. It's like an addiction. They date someone for a bit, but need that "fix", so they never stay in a relationship, and go back online.. I've never been told I am any of the above. I actually dislike the places, but I go because I am looking for friends to begin with.
Well, I haven't made many friends, because hardly anyone has responded to either my ad or my emails. I tell women, right off, I am a happy, content with-myself person. You can't be really "needy" in these places.(I am not saying you are.) That will bring trouble. Forget the shopping-list of demands....and stay away from those types of people who preach these things as well..(Well, to a point...as explained below.) Find someone who is happy with themselves, and wants to share that, and you the same, and it is most likely to work out. I don't mean to sound cynical, but there seems to be very few people like this out there.
Just IMHO...
Jay
Posted by chinchilla1 on November 9, 2006, at 9:53:00
In reply to Re: Shall I sign up at matchdotcom? » corafree, posted by Jay on November 9, 2006, at 9:37:24
I met my boyfriend there and we've been together for about a year and a half. Started out with emailing...some just didn't work out, one had "red flags" to me, and I dated another guy from "match" for a few months before meeting bf.
He's a darling fellow whose path probably wouldn't have crossed mine otherwise. We're both in our 40s, so age might be a factor in how these things work.
So, I say give it a go. Just be careful when first meeting someone.
Posted by LJRen on November 9, 2006, at 11:15:28
In reply to Shall I sign up at matchdotcom?, posted by corafree on November 9, 2006, at 2:12:53
CF,
You're the one who posted on Relationships a few days ago about ending it w/ a BAD guy.... wondering why you always end up in that type of relationship, right? Honey, please do yourself a favor, I know you're feeling lonely and perhaps a little desperate but take some time to figure yourself out. If you don't stop and heal and learn your dysfuntional relationship patterns then you'll never have a chance to break those patterns and get out of this cycle of getting into those types of relationships that end up making you feel miserable.
I have a sneaking suspicion that you're a lot like me in that you feel something is missing w/n you when someone is not there w/ you so you go out in search of someone else to fill that hole. Unfortunately, to my dismay, that only person who can fill an individual's personal emptiness is that person. How that's done, I haven't figured it out yet, but it's what I keep hearing. Being alone absolutely sucks, I know. But sometimes it's what you gotta do for your own benefit.
TC,
Ren
Posted by Phillipa on November 9, 2006, at 11:33:39
In reply to Re: Shall I sign up at matchdotcom? » corafree, posted by LJRen on November 9, 2006, at 11:15:28
My Daughter thought the same thing that she needed a replacement when she was going through her divorce. After about three months she realized she was happiest home on her own with no one to interfer in what she wanted to do. So now she's not dating and doesn't want to. Just friends with people now. And a second job just for socialization and a few extra dollars. Love Phillipa ps I think I have a smart daughter
Posted by corafree on November 9, 2006, at 13:58:47
In reply to Re: Shall I sign up at matchdotcom? » corafree, posted by Jay on November 9, 2006, at 9:37:24
Geez ... their like matchdotcom trolls! I didn't realize peeps got into it that way.
That's a drag women don't respond to men's ads as much as vv. I always think guys are 'elaborating' about their appearance and personality.
Mine should say,
I'm a pretty sweet lil' gal, weight 2 height proporsche, Toys-R-Us kid, who must B #1 priority. Honest, dependable, vital, adventurous, passionate, clean afa hygiene, home, & mind-altering substances. Alcohol or street-drug users, unless in rehab, need not apply. Enjoy smokers, coffee drinkers, and newspaper readers. You must vote and clean toilets.
ha
cf
Posted by corafree on November 9, 2006, at 14:00:36
In reply to Re: Shall I sign up at matchdotcom?, posted by chinchilla1 on November 9, 2006, at 9:53:00
So matchdotcom is a whole US business?
And, do you have to meet an income requirement?
good4u, cf
Posted by corafree on November 9, 2006, at 14:43:27
In reply to Re: Shall I sign up at matchdotcom? » corafree, posted by LJRen on November 9, 2006, at 11:15:28
>How that's done, I haven't figured it out yet, but it's what I keep hearing.>
>Yep, it's what I keep hearing too, but seems like the only time someone says they've figured it out and done it, is when they've met someone and fallen in love.(?)
But no, I'm not going out looking. I'm waiting for him to find me! ROFL w/ tears! (It's kind of a cycle thing I do.)
I don't wanna' spend my time livin' tryin' to figure out who I am, 'cuz don't think we realize who we are till we are facing leaving living. Really.
I appreciate your lending an ear and sharing your insight. I've spent lots of time, off stage, evaluating and concluding, then time for a new show.
I believe my gift in life, is helping people be the best they can be. I'm sorry if that sounds snobbish. (Does it? RU all thinking she's got 'ideations of grandiosity'??? B honest pls.)
The men in my top five relationships didn't like me doing this to them, at the time, (Of course, it wasn't like an around the clock project or anything!) but, a few have told me since, thank you -or- you were right -or- I wish I'd listened to you -or- I wish I'd done thing differently.
I wouldn't want someone who doesn't 'need something from me (s*x excluded)'. I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I know I'd be bored to even more tears!
I wouldn't change any of my relationships, just maybe some of 'my moves'. I've learned to be more tactful and men have deep feelings and they like compliments. So, I've learned through experience these are some things that R important.
(Okay, now you're prob' thinking, yeah right, she's getting by, getting by sitting and talking on babble all day ... RU?)
Tomorrow have to take a day off babble and get lots of IRL things done, not becuz' the erythromycin has whipped what I believe is bronchitis, but becuz' if I don't, I won't be taking care of my life as I should.
tksagainRen, cf
To All:
Does anyone feel like slappin' me? Am I misbehaving?
I left something out of my matchdotcom ad.
I should also put 'crazy' in there as a qualification.
(Ok .. do ya' think that's crazy?)
Posted by corafree on November 9, 2006, at 14:50:07
In reply to Re: Shall I sign up at matchdotcom?, posted by Phillipa on November 9, 2006, at 11:33:39
I think so too! Good for her.
Butt, not me, not at this time in my life.
I need someone to B here and go get some medicine when I get sick -or- call me in the middle of the day just to say 'how ya doin?', and ... to call in the middle of the day and say 'how ya doin?'.
I'm starting to feel better about myself for some reason P.
cf
Posted by Jay on November 9, 2006, at 15:10:31
In reply to Re: Shall I sign up at matchdotcom? » Jay, posted by corafree on November 9, 2006, at 13:58:47
CF, I am sorry for being so negative. It's just, you have to *really* watch out for your emotions. You know many people don't really care, and there is a high risk on these websites. Also, like someone else said, if you are just coming out of a relationship, it's not good just to try to jump into something else. You need some "you" time. It's lonely, I know, it's been that way for me about 7 years. As I get older, I really hate being told to "wait". But, you gotta do it, for your own self protection.
Good luck,
Jay
Posted by chinchilla1 on November 9, 2006, at 23:20:54
In reply to Re: Shall I sign up at matchdotcom? » chinchilla1, posted by corafree on November 9, 2006, at 14:00:36
Yes, Match.com is nationwide. You can post a profile for free, but you have to subscribe in order to send emails to other members through their service. There are usually free trial membership offers, and you can choose how long you want your membership to be. I think it starts at three months for a certain (I forget) amount.
No income requirements. Thank goodness!
Might want to take a little time, though, since it seems like you're just recovering from a breakup. I was told by trusted friends to wait a year before trying the dating scene again. It took about that long for me to get myself back together...somewhat.
Posted by inimitable on November 10, 2006, at 10:58:10
In reply to Shall I sign up at matchdotcom?, posted by corafree on November 9, 2006, at 2:12:53
my therapist is on match.com! i found it one time when tooling around online. i would have you check him out, but i wouldn't want to invade his privacy...although i already did, but i won't anymore :)
*inimitable
Posted by corafree on November 11, 2006, at 14:46:08
In reply to Re: Shall I sign up at matchdotcom? » corafree, posted by chinchilla1 on November 9, 2006, at 23:20:54
Well, that sounds okay.
The waiting part ... I think I've been doing that for a long time already. Ya' know I've been living alone for 11yrs.
tks, cf
Posted by elanor roosevelt on November 11, 2006, at 22:44:36
In reply to Re: Shall I sign up at matchdotcom? » chinchilla1, posted by corafree on November 11, 2006, at 14:46:08
you do have to be careful about your emotions with this cyberdating
it is really up and down
you get interested in someone and then meet and any interest fizzles
i have made some friends
there are a number of other places you can try for free: yahoo personals & nerve.comI am 54 so i don't even read a profile before i look at what age female the guy wants to date.
yes, there is disappointment and rejection.
i cme and go from the online thing
but i have a new date in a few days
first date advice VERY IMPORTANT a very public place for coffee for one hour.
good luck
Posted by elanor roosevelt on November 13, 2006, at 22:50:27
In reply to Shall I sign up at matchdotcom?, posted by corafree on November 9, 2006, at 2:12:53
i have a coffee date tomorrow with a man i met online
i have had endless one hour dates that all went thuddecided to give it another try
Posted by corafree on November 16, 2006, at 18:18:56
In reply to Re: Shall I sign up at matchdotcom?, posted by elanor roosevelt on November 13, 2006, at 22:50:27
How'd it go???
cf
Posted by elanor roosevelt on November 16, 2006, at 22:56:38
In reply to Re: Shall I sign up at matchdotcom? » elanor roosevelt, posted by corafree on November 16, 2006, at 18:18:56
it went okay
nice man
i'm having lunch with hime again next week
2 dates are a long-term relationship for me
Posted by corafree on November 17, 2006, at 15:36:08
In reply to Re: Shall I sign up at matchdotcom?, posted by elanor roosevelt on November 16, 2006, at 22:56:38
Cool!
cf
Posted by finelinebob on November 23, 2006, at 17:55:37
In reply to Shall I sign up at matchdotcom?, posted by corafree on November 9, 2006, at 2:12:53
el-oh-freaking-el!
I have a lifetime membership on Match.com because I beta'd for them back in '94 or '95 or so.
Met the greatest mistake of my life through M.c. She's on her way to becoming a classical by-the-book Freudian analyst ... G_D help the wealthy of NYC. I was manic at the time, so I didn't realize my mistake until it was too late and I'm so terrible at extracting myself from such abusive situations -- well, at least I USED to be.
Anyway, in one of her kinder moments while chastizing me for not responding to her treatments, she said I should have listed my DX in my profile.
Pardon me, but I have to stop typing a few moments because thinking about that "advice" coming from HER makes me bust a gut laughing....
Anyway, in my MySpace profile I have my academic degree initials and my DX initials and let people figure out which is more important for themselves.
And yeah, I've been thinking about updating my M.c profile to say the same thing. If some woman sees the rest of my profile and is interested, then I figure she's going to know about the "rest of me" soon enough if the interest is mutual. I'm getting too old for posing, well past too old for that matter, and if someone can't deal with my honesty, my openness, and my if-you-can't-accept-me-for-who-I-am-then-take-a-hike attitude I'd rather that she not waste my time, my money, and/or my emotions on her shortcomings.
I am who I am because of all of who I am. You get the package or nothing.
If you're strong enough to consider putting yourself on display for a dating service, I'm not saying be as in-your-face as I enjoy being, but I am saying that you should take pride in yourself, what you've accomplished and where you are taking yourself. If you're ready for Match.com or eHarmony (gag!) or LavaLife or JDate or True or whatever and you are just looking to get out and meet some people, play your cards close to your vest and have a good time -- grow from the experience. If you should meet someone special, tho, you have absolutely nothing of which you should be ashamed. If that other person can't cope when you are ready to open up? Give them a week or two. If they still can't cope, then that is THEIR shortcoming and you deserve better. Leave them behind, learn from the experience, shed a tear if you must, but move on stronger for having taken those steps.
My $0.02
flb
Posted by corafree on November 26, 2006, at 18:26:15
In reply to Hi! I'm a BPS ADD GAD MDD OCD SWM looking for..., posted by finelinebob on November 23, 2006, at 17:55:37
Hey flb ... good to hear from ya'. Hope you're well.
cf
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