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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 19:31:40
Like, you imagine all these senarios where things happen just how you want them to? I couldn't seem to move on from the extreme sadness until I could imagine a sernerio where I totally made cuteboy weep with regret that he didn't have me. I know it can't be good when you use these fantasies to avoid real life, which I guess I do more than I would like. Actually I've been doing it as long as I can remember. It was a way to escape a crappy childhood I suppose. So does anyone else do this?
-T
Posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 19:37:31
In reply to Does anybody else get through life with fantasy?, posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 19:31:40
... after we had sex a few time and I ditched him he wept with regret.
-T
Posted by ClearSkies on November 7, 2006, at 19:59:59
In reply to Okay, okay..., posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 19:37:31
LOL!! Fantasies have helped me through some really distressing times. I seem to be depressingly realistic overall, though.
:-)
Posted by Declan on November 7, 2006, at 20:14:05
In reply to Okay, okay..., posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 19:37:31
I haven't been following coolboy closely enough to picture him, but what you say is very fetching.
When he begs your forgiveness you could dry his tears, and just let him be with you for a while?
Posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 20:23:34
In reply to Re: Okay, okay... » TexasChic, posted by Declan on November 7, 2006, at 20:14:05
Yeah, then move on to bigger and better, and leave him thinking of me for the rest of his life as the one who got away.
Of course I'm not really that cold or vengeful, but this is a fantasy after all.
-T
Posted by dreamboat_annie on November 7, 2006, at 20:26:18
In reply to Does anybody else get through life with fantasy?, posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 19:31:40
I do it too! Maybe it has something to do with the HSP thing you mentioned in the thread above. I'm a HSP too. It drives me crazy because I pick up on even the smallest change in someone's mood. Anyway, back to fantasies. I finally admitted it to my T (I'm not much of a sharer of information even with my T - that's how bad I am with opening up) and she said that I do it because it protects me from getting truly hurt. Like, I can go through a whole relationship in a daydream or fantasy and get to the point where I get hurt, deal with it and actually avoid the actually getting hurt in real life (eeks, that probably doesn't make any sense at all LOL). She said because I grew up with a depressed mother who was emotionally absent and a violent father, it's safer to go through all the stuff in my head than to open myself up and it protects me from getting emotionally involved and getting hurt. Even with the boyfriends I've had, the relationships have been pretty cheap and meaningless, by choice, which suited me just fine. Self-preservation, I guess. Physical intimacy comes easily, but the emotional stuff is pretty damn scary. Even with my closest girl friends, there are many, many things I won't share or talk about. It took me 10 years to tell one of my friends that I was sexually assualted and I never told anyone else, even after it happened. I think it took that long to actually get to the point where I almost believed it was not my fault, that I didn't deserve it or wasn't asking for it. Anyway, off topic there, sorry. Bottom line for me is that I like my daydreams. They are fun and harmless. I know the difference between fantasy and reality.
> Like, you imagine all these senarios where things happen just how you want them to? I couldn't seem to move on from the extreme sadness until I could imagine a sernerio where I totally made cuteboy weep with regret that he didn't have me. I know it can't be good when you use these fantasies to avoid real life, which I guess I do more than I would like. Actually I've been doing it as long as I can remember. It was a way to escape a crappy childhood I suppose. So does anyone else do this?
>
> -T
Posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 20:39:39
In reply to Re: Does anybody else get through life with fantasy? » TexasChic, posted by dreamboat_annie on November 7, 2006, at 20:26:18
> I can go through a whole relationship in a daydream or fantasy and get to the point where I get hurt, deal with it and actually avoid the actually getting hurt in real life (eeks, that probably doesn't make any sense at all LOL)
That makes PERFECT sense! That's exactly what I do! That's why I'm so socially inept when it comes to relationships with men. I've never really had one outside my own head.
-T
Posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 22:21:40
In reply to Re: Does anybody else get through life with fantasy? » dreamboat_annie, posted by TexasChic on November 7, 2006, at 20:39:39
Oh I've had them and one was my Fantasy Guy traveled Europe with him all over. It was great but all good things seem to end. I wish I still could talk myself into the really good dreams . Love Phillipa
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on November 8, 2006, at 9:44:53
In reply to Re: Does anybody else get through life with fantasy? » TexasChic, posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 22:21:40
I do! All the time!
BYW whats HSP??
M
Posted by Declan on November 8, 2006, at 13:18:05
In reply to yes....., posted by Meri-Tuuli on November 8, 2006, at 9:44:53
HSP is highly sensitive person.
You could go through life trying not to fantasise.
Better though to accept that it is your imagination in action and let it be a guide as to where your spirit want to go.
You can learn stuff about yourself.
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on November 8, 2006, at 13:52:18
In reply to Re: yes....., posted by Declan on November 8, 2006, at 13:18:05
hiya
> Better though to accept that it is your imagination in action and let it be a guide as to where your spirit want to go.
> You can learn stuff about yourself.Yeah, but I antagonise myself over choices I have had to make due to having no confidence, depression anxiety etc. Like Shell wanted to employ me (they met me at a milk round grad thing) and I passed the first two interviews and then when it came to the assesment centre, well I didn't go, I couldn't face it, and now I'm always wondering, 'what if...?' I know, I know, I'm not sure I want to work for a massive oil giant, but then again, I don't want to be broke either. And the real b*tch of it is that the geology I'm interested in, is precisely the geology you need for oil exploration etc..... What the hell am I supposed to do?
I get very frustrated that my depression/anxieties have had to hold me back from things that I'd overwise have done..... I guess there's lessons in there....why am I so scared, whats the worst that could happen....etc....oh well.
It don't mind plain old regrets, ('I regretted I drank so much last night'..blah) but regrets due to invisible forces within you holding you back.....man..... they frustrate the hell out of me.
Anyway most of my fantasies involve winning vast amounts of cash and not having to worry about my future :o)
Sigh.
Meri
Posted by Declan on November 8, 2006, at 14:17:16
In reply to Re: yes....., posted by Meri-Tuuli on November 8, 2006, at 13:52:18
Yeah hi Merri
So what kind of work is there for green geologists?
Did you not go to the assessment centre because of Shell and the politics and all?
I suppose it's hard from a green point of view to be part of the exploitation of fossil fuel reserves.
I just thought. You could go to Norilsk. (Reasonably close, nice boat trip in the summer? Keep checking my globe)
Not to work(!), just for a visit. It'd be interesting.
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on November 8, 2006, at 14:43:12
In reply to Re: yes..... » Meri-Tuuli, posted by Declan on November 8, 2006, at 14:17:16
yeah hey!
> So what kind of work is there for green geologists?
Actually a surprising amount, there's contaiminated land, hydrogeology (you're desperate in Oz for hydrogeologists; apparently its up there with plumbers), blah blah blah......
> Did you not go to the assessment centre because of Shell and the politics and all?
No, I wish I could flatter myself that I stood my ground and things, but in truth I was rather bemused as to why they wanted to employ me in the first place and also because the assesment centre thing coincided with my first major depressive episode....then I just kept delaying it and delaying it, and then I thought I'd blown my chances because of taking a semester out for my depression thing and then I kinda gave up mainly due to the arrogance of youth, and well sounds silly, but I only applied because they told me to! And I was rather unconfident about the whole thing.
> I suppose it's hard from a green point of view to be part of the exploitation of fossil fuel reserves.
Yes. Very. Argh! There are some very 'dirty' aspects of geology.... but then, I guess the only truely honorable thing is to make a living so you can put food on your table...everythings dirty to a degree. And even the eco-warriers let me down, I knew this person who was totally cool, only later I accidentally discovered she had a pile of shares in BP she didn't so happen to mention on her 'I hate fossil fuel spiel'.....sigh.
> I just thought. You could go to Norilsk. (Reasonably close, nice boat trip in the summer? Keep checking my globe)
> Not to work(!), just for a visit. It'd be interesting.Yeah it sure would. It really would. Actually I keep meaning to make it to St Petersburg, which is only 5 hours on the train away.... thing is, okay Russia may be geographically close, but its a whole world apart culturally/economically/socially..... Finns have an innate fear of the Russians, who can blame them. Russia could take us in three seconds...... they have done in the past!
Posted by Declan on November 8, 2006, at 16:11:24
In reply to Re: yes....., posted by Meri-Tuuli on November 8, 2006, at 14:43:12
Marshall Mannerheim and the winter war!! Did you know that Brian Eno released "Another Day on Earth" in St Petersburg, preferring it to London or wherever?
There might be new avenues of work associated with climate change. I guess you've seen "An Inconvenient Truth". In Autralia climate change is obvious because things are so marginal here.
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on November 10, 2006, at 5:13:13
In reply to Re: yes..... » Meri-Tuuli, posted by Declan on November 8, 2006, at 16:11:24
Yeah. Finnish history is rather sad. Lots of countries taking us over...... now Nokia rules the world!! Anyway, no I haven't seen that Al Gore film, although I would love to dearly. Its out of the cinemas here actually, I guess i'd better wait for the DVD. Anyway, yeah work like that is mainly confined to research at uni's but maybe its becoming more of an issue nowadays.......I'm pretty negative about my future I have to admit.
Whats your line of work?Meri
Posted by Declan on November 17, 2006, at 17:06:51
In reply to Re: yes....., posted by Meri-Tuuli on November 10, 2006, at 5:13:13
I'm almost old enough to say I've retired and am starting to pass for a respectable citizen.
Posted by Phillipa on November 17, 2006, at 19:23:39
In reply to Re: yes....., posted by Meri-Tuuli on November 10, 2006, at 5:13:13
Declan you keep avoiding the issue. Is it farming or what? Love Phillipa or lying on the couch?
Posted by Declan on November 18, 2006, at 4:50:37
In reply to Re: yes..... » Meri-Tuuli, posted by Phillipa on November 17, 2006, at 19:23:39
This is the end of the thread.
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