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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Phil on August 3, 2006, at 18:57:24
You know you love it.
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia
Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good
Die Young.In a London cemetery
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery
Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery
Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.A lawyer's epitaph in England
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the
cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in
Tombstone, Arizona
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.In a Georgia cemetery
"I told you I was sick!"John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery
Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia
She always said her feet were killing her
but nobody believed her.In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England
On the 22nd of June
Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune.Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood
In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts
Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.I love the next one...
The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania
Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down. It was.In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.Dr. Fred Roberts, Brookland, Arkansas
Office upstairsIn Newbury, England [1742]
Tom Smith is dead, and here he lies,
Nobody laughs and nobody cries;
Where his soul's gone, or how it fares,
Nobody knows, and nobody cares.In a Leeds graveyard [1861]
Here lies my wife,
Here lies she;
Hallelujah!
Hallelujee!John Dryden (1631-1700) on his wife
Here lies my wife: here let her lie!
Now she's at rest, and so am I.The Tired Woman's Epitaph
Here lies a poor woman who was always tired;
She lived ina house where help was not hired.
Her last words on earth were: "Dear friends, I am going
Where washing ain't done, nor sweeping, no sewing:
But everything there is exact to my wishes;
For where they don't eat there's no washing of dishes...
Don't mourn for me now; don't mourn for me never -
I'm going to do nothing for evere and ever.To the Memory of Abraham Beaulieu
Born 15 September 1822
Accidentally shot
4th April 1844As a mark of affection
from his brotherHillaire Belloc (1870-1953)
Here richly, with ridiculous display,
The Politician's corpse was laid away.
While all of his acquaintance sneered and slanged,
I wept: for I had longed to see him hanged.On an inkeeper 1875
Beneath this stone, in hopes of Zion,
Doth lie the landlord of the Lion;
His son keeps on the business still,
Resigned unto the heavenly will.In a Welland, Ontario cemetery
Here lies all that remains of Charlotte,
Born a virgin, died a harlot.
For sixteen years she kept her virginity,
A marvellous thing for this vicinity.
Posted by Declan on August 3, 2006, at 19:44:31
In reply to Dark humor...Aw c'mon, posted by Phil on August 3, 2006, at 18:57:24
Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.
Posted by Phil on August 3, 2006, at 20:01:52
In reply to Phil, that's wonderful, posted by Declan on August 3, 2006, at 19:44:31
I like this one quite a bit.
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down. It was.
Posted by Bobby on August 3, 2006, at 20:09:25
In reply to Dark humor...Aw c'mon, posted by Phil on August 3, 2006, at 18:57:24
Thanks Bro. how are things going in Texas?
Posted by Phil on August 3, 2006, at 20:23:18
In reply to Just what I needed » Phil, posted by Bobby on August 3, 2006, at 20:09:25
Miserable in Texas! hot hot hot.
Posted by Jay on August 3, 2006, at 21:21:03
In reply to Re: Just what I needed » Bobby, posted by Phil on August 3, 2006, at 20:23:18
> Miserable in Texas! hot hot hot.
Well, there is a band, who I don't think are from Texas, called "hot hot heat". Surprise? Okay, I know...don't laugh too much now....;)
Jay :)
Posted by Jost on August 3, 2006, at 23:30:25
In reply to Dark humor...Aw c'mon, posted by Phil on August 3, 2006, at 18:57:24
These are so great! All of 'em.
That one about the widow whose feet were killing her.--too funny --Maybe because I spent time in Richmond, Virgina.
But so many of them are really clever.I'm going to have to use it--(okay?).
Jost
Posted by Phil on August 4, 2006, at 5:57:53
In reply to Great humor for a hot night!, posted by Jost on August 3, 2006, at 23:30:25
....I'm going to have to use it--(okay?).
Heck yeah.
Posted by Phillipa on August 4, 2006, at 14:21:05
In reply to Re: Great humor for a hot night! » Jost, posted by Phil on August 4, 2006, at 5:57:53
Been reading tombstones? Love Phillipa
Posted by Kath on August 12, 2006, at 20:31:17
In reply to Dark humor...Aw c'mon, posted by Phil on August 3, 2006, at 18:57:24
ROTFLOL
or as I think it's Wildcard would say: SNORT
Oh My God. I love laffing out loud so thanks for those!!!!!!!
HAW HAW Kath
PS - I copied them & am sending them in email to friends.
> You know you love it.
>
> On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia
> Here lies
> Ezekial Aikle
> Age 102
> The Good
> Die Young.
>
> In a London cemetery
> Here lies Ann Mann,
> Who lived an old maid
> But died an old Mann.
> Dec. 8, 1767
>
> In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery
> The children of Israel wanted bread
> And the Lord sent them manna,
> Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
> And the Devil sent him Anna.
>
> In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery
> Here lies
> Johnny Yeast
> Pardon me
> For not rising.
>
> Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery
> Here lies the body
> of Jonathan Blake
> Stepped on the gas
> Instead of the brake.
>
> In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery
> Here lays Butch,
> We planted him raw.
> He was quick on the trigger,
> But slow on the draw.
>
> A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery
> Sacred to the memory of
> my husband John Barnes
> who died January 3, 1803
> His comely young widow, aged 23, has
> many qualifications of a good wife, and
> yearns to be comforted.
>
> A lawyer's epitaph in England
> Sir John Strange
> Here lies an honest lawyer,
> And that is Strange.
>
> Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont
> I was somebody.
> Who, is no business
> Of yours.
>
> Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the
> cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in
> Tombstone, Arizona
> Here lies Lester Moore
> Four slugs from a .44
> No Les No More.
>
> In a Georgia cemetery
> "I told you I was sick!"
>
> John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery
> Reader if cash thou art
> In want of any
> Dig 4 feet deep
> And thou wilt find a Penny.
>
> On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia
> She always said her feet were killing her
> but nobody believed her.
>
> In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England
> On the 22nd of June
> Jonathan Fiddle -
> Went out of tune.
>
> Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont
> Here lies the body of our Anna
> Done to death by a banana
> It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
> But the skin of the thing that made her go.
>
> Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England
> Gone away
> Owin' more
> Than he could pay.
>
> Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood
> In Memory of Beza Wood
> Departed this life
> Nov. 2, 1837
> Aged 45 yrs.
>
> Here lies one Wood
> Enclosed in wood
> One Wood
> Within another.
> The outer wood
> Is very good:
> We cannot praise
> The other.
>
> On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts
> Under the sod and under the trees
> Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
> He is not here, there's only the pod:
> Pease shelled out and went to God.
>
> I love the next one...
>
> The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania
> Who was fatally burned
> March 21, 1870
> by the explosion of a lamp
> filled with "R.E. Danforth's
> Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"
>
> Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York
> Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
> the car was on the way down. It was.
>
> In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery
> Here lies an Atheist
> All dressed up
> And no place to go.
>
> Dr. Fred Roberts, Brookland, Arkansas
> Office upstairs
>
> In Newbury, England [1742]
> Tom Smith is dead, and here he lies,
> Nobody laughs and nobody cries;
> Where his soul's gone, or how it fares,
> Nobody knows, and nobody cares.
>
> In a Leeds graveyard [1861]
> Here lies my wife,
> Here lies she;
> Hallelujah!
> Hallelujee!
>
> John Dryden (1631-1700) on his wife
> Here lies my wife: here let her lie!
> Now she's at rest, and so am I.
>
> The Tired Woman's Epitaph
> Here lies a poor woman who was always tired;
> She lived ina house where help was not hired.
> Her last words on earth were: "Dear friends, I am going
> Where washing ain't done, nor sweeping, no sewing:
> But everything there is exact to my wishes;
> For where they don't eat there's no washing of dishes...
> Don't mourn for me now; don't mourn for me never -
> I'm going to do nothing for evere and ever.
>
> To the Memory of Abraham Beaulieu
> Born 15 September 1822
> Accidentally shot
> 4th April 1844As a mark of affection
> from his brother
>
> Hillaire Belloc (1870-1953)
> Here richly, with ridiculous display,
> The Politician's corpse was laid away.
> While all of his acquaintance sneered and slanged,
> I wept: for I had longed to see him hanged.
>
> On an inkeeper 1875
> Beneath this stone, in hopes of Zion,
> Doth lie the landlord of the Lion;
> His son keeps on the business still,
> Resigned unto the heavenly will.
>
> In a Welland, Ontario cemetery
> Here lies all that remains of Charlotte,
> Born a virgin, died a harlot.
> For sixteen years she kept her virginity,
> A marvellous thing for this vicinity.
>
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
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