![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 12:14:49
I declared on the Admin board that my previous posting name was badhaircut. I think I put it there so it'd be "official". But I guess my further comments about it are Social.
Posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 12:32:37
In reply to badhaircut is pseudoname [redirected], posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 12:14:49
Dinah said:
> I don't recall anything that would cause you to fear people wouldn't accept you as anyone.
> Certainly I have no qualms.You're kind to say so.
llrrrpp said:
> now I find out you have a bad haircut?
> It's funny how names can change the mental image I have of people.I do have a bad haircut. The one I had in Toronto in May, that Canadagirl saw…
> You didn't look like you had a bad haircut :)
…was an abberation. It *did* look okay. (Thanks, CG!) But now it sticks up in back and on the sides. They only used a #4 clipper on me last week. I could do something like that all by myself. Which I may try. Seriously. A contestant on 'Jeopardy' cut his own hair and it looked fine.
Declan said:
> Now I'm curious
> about that Badhaircut fellowHe was a lot more reserved than I am, if you can believe that.
Posted by fallsfall on July 31, 2006, at 14:34:31
In reply to replies ? Dinah ? llrrrpp ? canadagirl ? Declan, posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 12:32:37
Posted by AuntieMel on July 31, 2006, at 14:41:15
In reply to badhaircut is pseudoname [redirected], posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 12:14:49
Well, I guess you 'came out?'
Posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 15:41:45
In reply to Hi, Pseudoname/badhaircut! (nm) » pseudoname, posted by fallsfall on July 31, 2006, at 14:34:31
Posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 16:54:04
In reply to Re: badhaircut is pseudoname [redirected] » pseudoname, posted by AuntieMel on July 31, 2006, at 14:41:15
I hardly ever showed anything personal as badhaircut. I just commented on topics like psychoanalysis and clincial theory and posted notices of radio shows.
Badhaircut was a true alter-ego, an "Ernest in town". He was a way-more together and confident front than I was. By pretending to be smart & rational, I could sorta be (okay, feel) that way — as badhaircut.
But *I* am not that way. BHC felt indistinguishable from an SOB, inside. I was quite surprised at the Babble dinner in Toronto when one longtime Babbler said she had vague but positive connotations of badhaircut and had noticed his absence.
As badhaircut I never really shared my own problems, because it would shatter the facade I hoped I had and show what a clueless, unaccomplished nuisance I really am. There are people on Babble who go after the weaknesses of others. The presumptuous, assertive loudmouths: you know the sorts I mean. If I as badhaircut admitted being hog-tied by such ridiculous problems as I actually am hog-tied by, those vivisectionists could stomp all over me.
And so could anyone else! (But the loudmouths enjoy it.) If I actually disclosed my problems, anonymity would be no protection for me.
So when I needed meds advice last fall, I signed on as "pseudoname". As 10derheart noticed, the name was sort of an inside joke. I thought it would only be temporary, and then I'd go back to my competent veneer.
A Babble friend said today that I seem "not prone to put up with more than a certain amount of bulls*** / whatever" from others on the site. I think I am unconsciously trying to make the place lout-free. (This does not apply to my recent "barrage" on the Psych board where I went crazy and posted like a jackass; the only lout in that situation was me.)
But there is no way to make Babble truly lout-free. And even if the site were all nonjudgmental charmers who never bite, I would still feel ruined if I posted about my whole-self; even if I did it under *another* pseudonym. People are ultimately impatient and intolerant; everyone gets to the point where they snap at you.
And no, this doesn't count as self-disclosure. ;-) I don't know why not.
Posted by Declan on July 31, 2006, at 18:17:37
In reply to as badhaircut, posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 16:54:04
G'day
I once described myself thus:
'Overeducated layabout seeks similar for chemically assisted reading and other tame passive pursuits. Doesn't have to be the King James Version, but I'm not that keen on meat'.
We're kind and tolerant up to a point, aren't we?
It's important for me to take risks in communication, so I can feel the quality of compassion and mercy...something to actually touch the heart.
Declan
Posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 18:46:02
In reply to Clueless Unaccomplished Nuisance » pseudoname, posted by Declan on July 31, 2006, at 18:17:37
> It's important for me to take risks in communication, so I can feel the quality of compassion and mercy ... something to actually touch the heart.
I never thought of it like that. Not quite putting people to a test, but… at least I could see that there's a deliberate gain — possible. And I guess there's no other way to obtain it. I guess.
And when the vivisectionists stomp on my heart?!
I suppose I could take it. I mean, if there's a point, if there's something that could be gained for the risk.
Posted by Declan on July 31, 2006, at 19:48:16
In reply to Re: Clueless Unaccomplished Nuisance » Declan, posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 18:46:02
But you didn't stomp on mine. You were very gracious (Declania).
But perhaps it wasn't the best ad. The only response came from someone who asked if I was a vegetarian.
Posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 22:49:31
In reply to Re: Clueless Unaccomplished Nuisance » pseudoname, posted by Declan on July 31, 2006, at 19:48:16
> But perhaps it wasn't the best ad.
You had me at "Overeducated".
> The only response came from someone who asked if I was a vegetarian.
I didn't think it refered to eating, but what does "meat" refer to?
Posted by Phillipa on July 31, 2006, at 22:49:57
In reply to Re: Clueless Unaccomplished Nuisance » pseudoname, posted by Declan on July 31, 2006, at 19:48:16
What are you all talking about? Love Phillipa who just got home
Posted by llrrrpp on July 31, 2006, at 22:49:58
In reply to as badhaircut, posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 16:54:04
> Badhaircut was a true alter-ego, an "Ernest in town". He was a way-more together and confident front than I was. By pretending to be smart & rational, I could sorta be (okay, feel) that way — as badhaircut.
>
> As badhaircut I never really shared my own problems, because it would shatter the facade I hoped I had and show what a clueless, unaccomplished nuisance I really am. There are people on Babble who go after the weaknesses of others. The presumptuous, assertive loudmouths: you know the sorts I mean. If I as badhaircut admitted being hog-tied by such ridiculous problems as I actually am hog-tied by, those vivisectionists could stomp all over me.
>I'm sorry you feel that way. I guess I'm not sensitive to the presence of vivisectionists on babble. That suggests to me that I may be guilty of the offense-- but I'm probably not.
Anyways, if you never reveal anything personal about yourself, you will never give us the opportunity to support you, 'pseudoname'. If you never give us the opportunity, how can we ever provide evidence to the contrary that we are not vivisectionists?
I think you are too prone to discount your accomplishments and your cluefullness (that's the opposite of clueless). You see, anyone who can do the act of being "together, confident, smart & rational" as badhaircut has the capabilities to be all those things as pseudo too. whether you *choose* to express yourself in those ways or not, you are capable of it, so don't deny that badhaircut is an relevant part of your personality.
Anyways, take a risk every once in a while- you never know what will happen. The worst thing that can happen is some vivisectionist will pollute your lovely vanilla-colored babble screen temporarily. you can always choose to ignore such persons, or change the way you interpret their posts and spin them in a positive direction.
best to you pseudo,
-ll
Posted by canadagirl on August 1, 2006, at 5:03:29
In reply to replies » Dinah » llrrrpp » canadagirl » Declan, posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 12:32:37
>> Seriously. A contestant on 'Jeopardy' cut his own hair and it looked fine.<<
Was it that guy from Utah who won millions? It's not unusual for Mormons to cut their own hair; they're very self sufficient, you know. :)
Posted by curtm on August 1, 2006, at 8:28:10
In reply to Re: Clueless Unaccomplished Nuisance » Declan, posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 18:46:02
> I never thought of it like that. Not quite putting people to a test, but… at least I could see that there's a deliberate gain — possible. And I guess there's no other way to obtain it. I guess.
I totally agree. There is something good that can come from everything. It may be very hard to find or seem trivially subtle. But every little bit helps. In provocative communication, I believe this benefit does work for ALL parties.
Posted by Declan on August 1, 2006, at 12:58:42
In reply to Re: Clueless Unaccomplished Nuisance » Declan, posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 22:49:31
Meat refers to the meat market, the evaluative gaze, weighing up, people as things.
Just trying to keep my head above water, as always.
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 2, 2006, at 2:36:08
In reply to as badhaircut, posted by pseudoname on July 31, 2006, at 16:54:04
> There are people on Babble who go after the weaknesses of others. The presumptuous, assertive loudmouths
Thanks for explaining what happened, but please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.