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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Michael83 on July 9, 2006, at 1:53:56
I was visiting my former high school's website, and it seems 75% of the teachers I had just 4 years ago are now gone.
I see all these new faces. Almost like it's a completely different school.
Also visiting MySpace and looking up some old acquaintances from HS, it seems like most of them are different people. You know, "grow ups" (well not quite, but almost "grown up").
I like to think that I have not changed much at all since HS. But so many others have.
It seems as though the people I once knew and loved are now gone. Replaced by new and different people with the same names.
Not everyone is different, I'm glad to see some of those I liked the most have not changed a bit, but most have changed.
What's a 10 year reunion like? 20 year? Wow, I can't begin to imagine. Can you really consider it a "reunion" if everyone's former spirit and personalities have been replaced or worn down by the stress of adulthood? More like a "gathering of strangers who somehow know each others names."
Kind of sad. In my mind, a lot of those people I knew are now "gone."
Adulthood seems to ruin people.
Posted by 64bowtie on July 9, 2006, at 2:30:06
In reply to I'm only 4 years out of high school and already..., posted by Michael83 on July 9, 2006, at 1:53:56
» Michael83 »
>>> Adulthood seems to ruin people.
<<< My chilhood almost ruined my adulthood...
Rod
Posted by pseudoname on July 9, 2006, at 18:32:30
In reply to I'm only 4 years out of high school and already..., posted by Michael83 on July 9, 2006, at 1:53:56
Michael, you were born the year I graduated.
> I see all these new faces.
> It seems as though the people I once knew and loved are now gone. Replaced by new and different people with the same names.At age 41, this is increasingly how I view all of life. All of us get reassigned on a continuing basis and will soon be entirely replaced, including the little kids. I don't see it as depressing; just something to stay aware of.
> What's a 10 year reunion like?
My ten-year was okay. I tried to stay as drunk as possible throughout. I realized that night how awful high school had been; how much I really hated it and would never put up such stuff as an adult. I also got several mysteries solved, as did some of my friends, about events in high school & shortly after it. The mysteries were solved by the amazing device of just asking.
If you go, arrange beforehand to sit with people you know, or pick them up and arrive together, if possible. It's just a good idea. Getting stuck at the table of folks you never knew can dampen the evening.
> 20 year?
I was much worse off at age 38 than age 28, so I didn't go. I got a full report from a spy, though.
> More like a "gathering of strangers who somehow know each others names."
That's a lesson I learned, although I would spin it differently. People are complex; they were more complex then than we realized. Underestimating their unknown vastness was a big mistake, and one I have to keep reminding myself of all the time in order to repeat it less now.
Posted by MidnightBlue on July 9, 2006, at 22:30:56
In reply to I'm only 4 years out of high school and already..., posted by Michael83 on July 9, 2006, at 1:53:56
I didn't go to any of mine.
MB
Posted by Gabbi~G on July 9, 2006, at 23:31:26
In reply to I'm only 4 years out of high school and already..., posted by Michael83 on July 9, 2006, at 1:53:56
One thing I noticed though, as time passes is that lots of people blossomed too, and became less sterotypical than they were in highschool, the people you didn't really expect.
Maybe they were the shy ones, or the ones from rigid upbringings who could never really shine in that environment. So it's not all depressing, I honestly thought it would be too.
It's disconcerting when you see some people you thought were genuinely free thinking, and they get married have a few kids and turn into their conservative (not necessarily meaning political) grandparents by the time they are 22.
Posted by Gabbi~G on July 9, 2006, at 23:34:22
In reply to 10-year reunion thoughts » Michael83, posted by pseudoname on July 9, 2006, at 18:32:30
>
> That's a lesson I learned, although I would spin it differently. People are complex; they were more complex then than we realized. Underestimating their unknown vastness was a big mistake, and one I have to keep reminding myself of all the time in order to repeat it less now.**I think that's such an important truth and acknowledgment, and something I have to remind myself of consistantly, and yet it's still not enough.
Posted by Michael83 on July 10, 2006, at 0:53:52
In reply to Re: I'm only 4 years out of high school and already... » Michael83, posted by Gabbi~G on July 9, 2006, at 23:31:26
Very true. That's one thing I wanted to say, but I didn't want to offend anyone.
Having kids and the whole marriage things really changes people (whether in a good or bad way, I'll let you decide.)
But the ultimate point is that they're no longer the people they were before.
I went to school with some people I really admired and liked. Genuinely good people. It certainly wasn't a typical high school.
It will be sad to see all the people I onced admired change to much.
The stress of adulthood can wear down and deafen a person's personality. Adulthood can be a cruel place. It's unfortunate.
But luckily, many of the best I knew are still the same.
I vow to myself that I will not change or become worn out and boring. I hope others realize the importance of preserving self.
Posted by pseudoname on July 10, 2006, at 10:54:11
In reply to Re: I'm only 4 years out of high school and alread » Gabbi~G, posted by Michael83 on July 10, 2006, at 0:53:52
> But the ultimate point is that they're no longer the people they were before.
It sounds like you're missing some people who've matured a little since you last spent time with them; their younger selves were more fun in some ways. I'm sorry about that. When people change, we can feel the loss just like they'd gone away or died.
I remember that experience, too. Running into people, especially some that I didn't know very well in high school, and seeing how much they'd calmed down and become slow and low-key in just a few years. It was a little unsettling. I wondered, "Are you *really* the same person??"
But it turns out that it's not an entirely bad thing when the change happens to you.
> It will be sad to see all the people I onced admired change to much.
Maybe. But people who don't mature can be pretty boring, too.
I respect adolescents and what they're going through, but a lot of the interests, prejudices, and enthusiasms I had then are TRULY BORING to me now: shallow, ignorant, bigoted, tasteless, uncomprehending, and tempestuous.
It can really be scary to look at the things that lie in wait for you. I wish I could give you a hug because it's going to be okay.
> I vow to myself that I will not change or become worn out and boring.
The changes are inevitable, although you will NOT be boring — except to people whose opinions on the subject you will absolutely not care about any more. You wake up one morning and it's happened: you're different, in exactly the way you swore you'd never be.
The important thing is that you're not alone in any of it.
Posted by Michael83 on July 10, 2006, at 22:57:17
In reply to change happens » Michael83, posted by pseudoname on July 10, 2006, at 10:54:11
I understand what you're saying, but don't confuse typical teenagers with the ones I went to school with.
The people I knew and admired were in fact already mature. They were not a bunch of juvenile "cookie cutter suburbia" punks.
I went to a very preppy high school in the midwest in an older neighborhood, so the majority had a combination upper middle/upper class intelligence and a midwestern "down to earthness." They were just from a very unique part of town that had a great culture.
Most were exceptionally mature, moreso I would say than the majority of adults I have met.
Just a very unique and nice group of kids.
I hope that the stress of adulthood does not wear down the vibrant personalities they had.
This is the end of the thread.
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