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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on July 5, 2006, at 1:09:16
I'm getting upset because I feel like some people may not accept me for who I am.
I don't think I want to change. I don't want to change my personality. I believe I wouldn't have any problems if it weren't for people around me. With no interactions and no relationships, I'm fine.
I love Dr. Bob because he accepts me for who I am. As long as I'm civil, I can do anything and he will accept me. If he doesn't accept me, he can't tell me that, so I will just assume acceptance.
This has not been a good day. The person at another site is giving me a hard time, making me feel bad. I've put her on ignore, but I'm still upset. And now this.
Deneb* :-( I hate this. I'm upset. I'm upset!!!
Posted by capricorn on July 5, 2006, at 6:45:41
In reply to Accept me for who I am, posted by Deneb on July 5, 2006, at 1:09:16
((((Deneb))))
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on July 5, 2006, at 8:38:11
In reply to Re: Accept me for who I am, posted by capricorn on July 5, 2006, at 6:45:41
((Deneb)) I don't want my post to contribute to you feeling upset. If I didn't care about you, I would just ignore you. Honest. I just want you to think abt it.
I think that you DO want to change. You want to be HAPPY. So much of the time you are extremely distraught.
It feels like a person in a burning house calling "Help!" but she won't leave the house. Or it is like taking asprin to cure appendecitis. It won't cure it, and as time goes by things will get worse and get more dangerous.
You don't need to be in therapy for us to accept you. In fact, what you wrote above abt therapy is one of the more honest things you have written. If I were you, I would consider sharing it w/ my pdoc.
Best,
EE
Posted by Phillipa on July 5, 2006, at 11:49:48
In reply to Re: Accept me for who I am, posted by Emily Elizabeth on July 5, 2006, at 8:38:11
Deneb I'm sorry your're having a hard time at this other site. Why stay away from there and maybe do what EE suggests. Maybe you'll be happier. Love Phillipa
Posted by Glydin on July 5, 2006, at 12:46:31
In reply to Accept me for who I am, posted by Deneb on July 5, 2006, at 1:09:16
> I'm getting upset because I feel like some people may not accept me for who I am.
>~~~ If I compare some of the responses I've seen you receive elsewhere, I think you are very accepted here. I've seen much kindness extended to you here and levels of at least TRYING to understand. It's often easy to confuse acceptance with agreement - it's not the same thing to me.
> I don't think I want to change.
~~~ That's your choice but maybe keep in mind others may not want to change either so it's a matter of individual choices, acceptances, and tolerances and just MAYBE a BIG dose of adaptation for self preservation.
Posted by Jost on July 5, 2006, at 14:28:08
In reply to Re: Accept me for who I am » Deneb, posted by Glydin on July 5, 2006, at 12:46:31
Sorry the person on the other board said things that made you uncomfortable Deneb.
You've probably heard this before, but is it possible that it's not just other people, but something in yourself that upsets you?
When I'm hurt or angry, part of my reaction comes from my sense of myself, even if someone put me in touch with it.
When someone says they don't like what you've said, it might hurt your feelings. Even it seemed unkind, sometimes we misunderstand what people intend, or how they think we'll be affected.
Even if it was unkind, if you feel good about yourself, it may hurt your feelings, but you'll still feel okay about yourself. The hurtfulness doesn't need to last long, or throw you off track.
Maybe you don't accept yourself for who you are? Is that possible?
Jost
Posted by Emme on July 5, 2006, at 15:35:46
In reply to Accept me for who I am, posted by Deneb on July 5, 2006, at 1:09:16
> I don't think I want to change.Why not? You are often in a lot of pain as you are.
> I don't want to change my personality.
Personal growth doesn't mean jettisoning your fine qualities or becoming an entirely different person. It includes changing behaviors and thought patterns that interfere with your life.
> Deneb* :-( I hate this. I'm upset. I'm upset!!!
I'm sorry you're upset. You seem to be having some rough days here. Are you taking your meds by the way?
emme
Posted by Deneb on July 5, 2006, at 23:29:10
In reply to Re: Accept me for who I am, posted by capricorn on July 5, 2006, at 6:45:41
Thanks for the hug, I needed that.
((((((capricorn))))))
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on July 5, 2006, at 23:30:55
In reply to Re: Accept me for who I am, posted by Emily Elizabeth on July 5, 2006, at 8:38:11
I know you care EE. I'm sorry I got defensive. You're just trying to help me out.
I do want to be happy, but change is going to be hard work.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on July 5, 2006, at 23:32:38
In reply to Re: Accept me for who I am, posted by Phillipa on July 5, 2006, at 11:49:48
Thanks Phillipa. I'm still visiting the other site and some people there are writing things that upset me, but I'm ignoring those who upset me
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on July 5, 2006, at 23:35:23
In reply to Re: Accept me for who I am » Deneb, posted by Glydin on July 5, 2006, at 12:46:31
I think I'm accepted here too. I've been to other forums and have not been accepted. Sometimes I'm not welcome. I thank-you all for tolerating me.
I will change myself when I'm ready. I don't think I'm ready to give up the drama of my life yet.
Deneb
Posted by Deneb on July 5, 2006, at 23:37:44
In reply to Re: Accept me for who I am, posted by Jost on July 5, 2006, at 14:28:08
I think most people don't accept themselves totally. I'm sure I do too.
It's hard not to let other people get to me. I don't have enough self esteem to not let other's hurtful remarks get to me.
I'm trying to ignore them the best I can.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on July 5, 2006, at 23:41:56
In reply to Re: Accept me for who I am » Deneb, posted by Emme on July 5, 2006, at 15:35:46
Change is scary for me. I don't like change. Strange as it is, I *like* feeling bad sometimes. It's unpleasant, but I'm glad I'm able to feel upset. I wouldn't want to change things so I'm happy all the time. My crises make life interesting.
I am taking my meds. I don't think there is a med in the world that can stop me from getting upset.
Deneb*
Posted by Emme on July 6, 2006, at 7:55:58
In reply to Re: Accept me for who I am » Emme, posted by Deneb on July 5, 2006, at 23:41:56
> Change is scary for me. I don't like change.
Yes, it can be scary. Terrifying even. But it is probably worth doing. Someone said to me once, when I mentioned being scared of something, "Acknowledge the fear and do it anyway". I try to keep that in mind as I'm attempting to tackle some very anxiety-provoking things.
> Strange as it is, I *like* feeling bad sometimes.
Perhaps because it is familiar?
> It's unpleasant, but I'm glad I'm able to feel upset. I wouldn't want to change things so I'm happy all the time.
That's not what change is about. I think a good goal is to be able to feel a normal range of emotions that are in proportion to the situation. We all deserve to feel happy at least a reasonable amount of the time. Even if you're happy more of the time, I don't think you'll lose the capacity to feel sad when it's appropriate.
> My crises make life interesting.
But think how wonderful it would be to have your life be interesting because of enjoyable, stimulating experiences and challenges instead of crises. Emotional pain is not the best way to keep from being bored. If you have more constructive things going on IRL, then that will help you replace the crises.
> I am taking my meds.
That's good.
> I don't think there is a med in the world that can stop me from getting upset.
No, meds won't keep you from ever getting upset. It's a normal human emotion. It's a matter of degree. You don't want it to be over the top and it's better if you can reflect on it, put it in perspective, and then move on. I think therapy can help with that and if the meds are working well, I think they help keep the thermostat a little better regulated.
I think you're equating change through therapy with losing the ability to feel a normal range of emotions. But that's not what it's about.
emme
Posted by cloudydaze on July 10, 2006, at 14:24:44
In reply to Re: Accept me for who I am » Emme, posted by Deneb on July 5, 2006, at 23:41:56
We need sadness. Without sadness, happiness would not exist.
Balance is key. How you deal with your emotions is important. How you react internally and externally is important (reacting in a rational manner vs. reacting irrationally).
Changing these things does not = changing your personality. Rather, it allows for your true self to shine through. :)
Posted by cloudydaze on July 10, 2006, at 14:26:32
In reply to Re: Accept me for who I am, posted by cloudydaze on July 10, 2006, at 14:24:44
Posted by Racer on July 10, 2006, at 15:57:29
In reply to Re: Accept me for who I am, posted by cloudydaze on July 10, 2006, at 14:24:44
This is the end of the thread.
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