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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by linkadge on April 30, 2006, at 16:53:06
So my life is pretty crappy again. Thinking about suicide a lot. Doctors seem to be a waiste of time, they just keep doing the same old things. SSRI after SSRI.
Don't mean to bring anyone down, and no pressure for ideas, I just had to let it out somewhere.
Linkadge
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on April 30, 2006, at 17:31:24
In reply to Miserable again., posted by linkadge on April 30, 2006, at 16:53:06
I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so awful. I wonder if Lithium might help your depression. Have you ever tried it? It is one of the few meds that has been shown to decrease suicidal thoughts and feelings. Just in case you haven't considered it.
It did help me personally with suicidal ideation stuff.
Best,
EE
Posted by Declan on April 30, 2006, at 18:31:43
In reply to Miserable again., posted by linkadge on April 30, 2006, at 16:53:06
Hi Link
Sometimes I walk around thinking 'I'm just going to put a bullet through my head'. Which is more like saying 'I can't bear this'. Never actually get (much) closer than that. Is that what you're talking about?
Declan
Posted by madeline on April 30, 2006, at 19:02:20
In reply to Miserable again., posted by linkadge on April 30, 2006, at 16:53:06
Of course, it maybe time for a meds check, and if you have a suicide plan, please call 911 and let them help you.
However, all of that notwithstanding,
I'm going to propose a radical thought. It just may be ridiculous, but here goes.
What if it's okay just to be really miserable every now and then? I mean, just try and relax against it, don't fight it, or try to end it, just accept the fact that right now I am miserable.
and that you may be miserable tomorrow, but you may not be. I don't know. And then leave it at that.I get the miseries too, they wax and wane just like the moon sometimes. I'm down for two weeks, then I don't know what happens (a solar flare or something equally as random I think) but one morning I wake up and things are a little lighter. And then I regret all of that energy that I wasted trying not to be miserable. And just feel grateful that I don't.
I think it all sounds very Zen, but maybe that's one way to handle it.
Posted by TexasChic on April 30, 2006, at 19:11:36
In reply to Miserable again., posted by linkadge on April 30, 2006, at 16:53:06
I'm sorry you are feeling so low. Is it anything in particular? Do you want to talk about it?
I know the SSRI merry-go-round is horrible. A couple of years ago I tried a new one and I went into the deepest darkest depression. I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. My doc kept making me try it longer, or take a higher dose, or take something else with it. I think it was only for 6 months, but it seemed like forever. It made me realize how big of a difference a SSRI can make. It also made me realize how much of depression is chemical as well as mental.
Try to hang in there and give things a chance to change. Do you have a therapist or someone to talk to?
I hope you keep in touch and let us know how you're doing.
-T
Posted by Racer on April 30, 2006, at 20:37:34
In reply to Miserable again., posted by linkadge on April 30, 2006, at 16:53:06
I'm sorry you're feeling yucky. It really does [behave like a vacuum cleaner], and I'm sorry you're going through it.
I have two bits of advice:
Madeline had a good idea, with the accepting that today/this week, you feel miserable. Yep, just accept it, give yourself permission to be miserable right now. INDULGE the misery. I know that sounds stupid, "indulge the misery," but you know what? When I've done that, it's passed much more quickly. In fact, I think the fact that I *am* indulging myself in anything is part of why it gets so much better so much more quickly.
My other advice is to find a really good therapist. I know that there is a chemical component -- but there are also emotional and behavioral components, and addressing them can make a huge difference. (I do forget your history with therapy, and I'm sorry for that. I hope you understand.)
And, of course, take advantage of the fact that a lot of people here, myself included, care about you.
Posted by Phillipa on April 30, 2006, at 21:56:18
In reply to Miserable again., posted by linkadge on April 30, 2006, at 16:53:06
Link you have my E-mail e-mail me anytime. I know you're down on meds. Are you working again this summer? Love Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on April 30, 2006, at 22:17:29
In reply to Miserable again., posted by linkadge on April 30, 2006, at 16:53:06
Sorry you're feeling bad. :-(
Remind yourself that you will come out of the depression, maybe soon. Try going for a nice long walk outside. Take some time to smell the roses, so to speak. Try doing something you've never done before.
I hope you feel better soon.
Deneb*
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on May 1, 2006, at 3:37:53
In reply to Miserable again., posted by linkadge on April 30, 2006, at 16:53:06
Hi Link
Its miserable being miserable isn't it?
I was diagnosed with recurrent major depressive disorder with dysthymia on Friday. Great! A lifelong uphill struggle just to feel some semblence of normal. I'm not sure why I should even bother. I'm in my early twenties, and the thought of this continuing on like until I die, is in itself, enough to tip me over the edge.
Kind regards
Meri
Posted by linkadge on May 1, 2006, at 15:56:53
In reply to Re: Miserable again. » linkadge, posted by madeline on April 30, 2006, at 19:02:20
Well I do have a plan. I basically say that after my parents pass away I will go too.
I can't go while they're still alive. My mother would probably copy it.
Linkadge
Posted by linkadge on May 1, 2006, at 15:58:30
In reply to Re: Miserable again. (trigger above) » linkadge, posted by TexasChic on April 30, 2006, at 19:11:36
Yeah, I just don't want to go back on SSRI's. On them was only marginally better if anything at all.
Linkadge
Posted by linkadge on May 1, 2006, at 16:02:06
In reply to Re: Miserable again. » linkadge, posted by Meri-Tuuli on May 1, 2006, at 3:37:53
I've been on lithium many many times. Not sure why I stop it. It seems so intolerable for one reason or another. I was even upto 1500mg at one point. Have too much difficulty getting through classes.
I've been on more drugs than people twice my age. Doesn't really seem to do any good.
Yeah, I'm always open to behavioral changes. I just don't remember feeling like this. I remember wanting to live. Its been a long time since I felt that way.
Linkadge
Posted by madeline on May 1, 2006, at 20:52:49
In reply to Re: Miserable again. » madeline, posted by linkadge on May 1, 2006, at 15:56:53
linkadge,
you can babblemail me anytime you want to talk about something okay? I check it all the time.
I hope you just don't totally give up and that you will consider therapy.
One thing that also really helped me was that I finally found something that I truly loved. It wasn't easy, but I finally found it.
I volunteer every weekend at a big cat sanctuary in the south. I get to feed tigers and leopards and jaguars and snow leopards. Just finding that one thing can really help.
Don't give up, please keep trying.
Maddie.
Posted by spriggy on May 5, 2006, at 22:21:41
In reply to Re: Miserable again., posted by linkadge on May 1, 2006, at 16:02:06
This is the end of the thread.
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