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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on January 10, 2006, at 1:21:26
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, a few questions. . . » Sarah T., posted by JenStar on January 8, 2006, at 20:11:46
I *am* a real person and I don't make up stories.
You you want me to prove it?
Posted by Phillipa on January 10, 2006, at 1:21:26
In reply to I *am* a real person, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 21:05:35
Deneb how? Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on January 10, 2006, at 1:21:26
In reply to Re: I *am* a real person » Deneb, posted by Phillipa on January 8, 2006, at 21:13:51
> Deneb how? Fondly, Phillipa
I'll prove it in May, at the Babble Party and at the APA meeting.
I'll prove it, I will, if people don't believe me.
Deneb
Posted by Phillipa on January 10, 2006, at 1:21:26
In reply to Re: I *am* a real person, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 21:18:40
Deneb that's a good answer. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by lynn971 on January 10, 2006, at 1:21:26
In reply to Re: I *am* a real person, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 21:18:40
>I'll prove it in May, at the Babble Party and >at the APA meeting.
>I'll prove it, I will, if people don't believe >me.
>Deneb
What are you planning to do to prove it? Not that you have to prove it. I am just curious about what you are planning to do.
Posted by Deneb on January 10, 2006, at 1:21:26
In reply to Re: I *am* a real person, posted by lynn971 on January 9, 2006, at 19:57:56
> >I'll prove it in May, at the Babble Party and >at the APA meeting.
>
> >I'll prove it, I will, if people don't believe >me.
>
> >Deneb
>
> What are you planning to do to prove it? Not that you have to prove it. I am just curious about what you are planning to do.I'm not planning on doing anything lynn. don't worry.
(I promise Dr. Bob)
Posted by fallsfall on January 10, 2006, at 8:17:15
In reply to I *am* a real person, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 21:05:35
You don't need to prove it to me. I know you are a real person.
Posted by Poet on January 10, 2006, at 9:25:15
In reply to I *am* a real person, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 21:05:35
Hi Deneb,
I believe you're real and I know I'll see you in real life in May.
Poet
Posted by JenStar on January 10, 2006, at 11:37:07
In reply to I *am* a real person, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 21:05:35
Deneb, my feelings about this are listed out in the response I made to your other post - the one about needing to analyze why there is mistrust, and work on correcting it.
I think that regaining trust of a mistrusting group takes time, and cannot be done with a single step or single action. It requires patience, understanding and really good honest communication. I think time will tell - whether or not trust has been re-established.
But right now, again, it's important for you to concentrate not on doing anything here in Babble, but more on getting better IRL and preparing for school.
good luck!
JenStar
Posted by Racer on January 10, 2006, at 14:33:32
In reply to I *am* a real person, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 21:05:35
Deneb, we know you're a real person, there's nothing to prove.
What I think happens here, is something I've mentioned to you before: you seem to think that you have to be in The Worst Pain Ever in order to get comfort, and that creates a lot of problems for you. Saying, "I hurt today" is actually enough for you to get support here -- and probably in real life, too. How about trying to avoid the superlatives, and learn how much support there is for you without them?
Also, I think we're not the ones who doubt you're real. What makes you doubt that you're real? Or do you doubt that we're real?
Here it is: we're all real people. And most of us have been in pain, and wanted comfort, and it's difficult to learn to ask for help appropriately. This is a pretty safe place to practice, and that might help you.
Good luck.
And JenStar has good advice for you. I strongly urge you to get help in real life -- find a therapist, get help telling your parents just enough that they can help you get the treatment you need and deserve.
Posted by Alex Elliott on January 10, 2006, at 16:41:08
In reply to What makes you think anyone here questions that? » Deneb, posted by Racer on January 10, 2006, at 14:33:32
Racer,
Thanks for this post. I really like what you said. I've struggled w/ that 'Worst Pain Ever' thing. I appreciate your clarity and have confirmed, in my own life, that what you say is true. Good Luck, Deneb.
AE
Posted by Phillipa on January 10, 2006, at 18:07:14
In reply to Re: What makes you think anyone here questions tha, posted by Alex Elliott on January 10, 2006, at 16:41:08
Deneb you said you talked with Lar on the phone. So doesn't that prove to you that we're all real people? Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by lynn971 on January 10, 2006, at 19:04:11
In reply to Re: What makes you think anyone here questions tha, posted by Phillipa on January 10, 2006, at 18:07:14
Oh!! Are you afraid that people think that you are making all these things up?
(((((Deneb)))))
Posted by Deneb on January 10, 2006, at 20:31:27
In reply to Re: What makes you think anyone here questions tha, posted by lynn971 on January 10, 2006, at 19:04:11
> Oh!! Are you afraid that people think that you are making all these things up?
>
> (((((Deneb)))))Yes :-(
Thank-you everyone who believes in my pain. It can be really invalidating when someone doesn't believe in another's pain and suffering. I'm going to try hard to get past this feeling. I have to accept the fact that not all people will like me. There are just too many different people on this planet for that to happen.
And, just because a person may not like me doesn't mean I can't be liked by others. I have to work on that black and white, all or nothing thinking...
I can only be myself. I know that I'm genuine and real and that should be enough. I shouldn't have to prove myself. Some people will accept me for who I am and others will only accept me if I change to something they want me to be. There's nothing I can do about that. I just have to accept that. I'm going to try to love myself, faults and all.
Deneb
Posted by Deneb on January 10, 2006, at 21:07:40
In reply to Re: What makes you think anyone here questions tha, posted by Deneb on January 10, 2006, at 20:31:27
I just wanted people to know for sure that the message I wrote above was not directed towards any one here.
I don't want anyone to feel hurt. I was just writing things out according to how I feel about certain situations.
I feel like I might have sounded a bit cold to the world.
It is for my best interest to change. I think I was getting a bit defensive. I know for example that to be truly happy personally, socially and professionally I have to change. It was very egocentric of me to disregard other people's opinions. I guess, some people try to do good things in different ways...ways that can be seen as damaging or hurtful by others.
Anyways, no hard feels to anyone who feels like I might have been talking about them.
Deneb
P.S. I'm trying out a new method of communication. I'm trying to imitate how others sometimes express themselves. How is it working out?
Posted by Racer on January 10, 2006, at 21:21:55
In reply to Re: What makes you think anyone here questions tha, posted by Deneb on January 10, 2006, at 20:31:27
>
> Thank-you everyone who believes in my pain. It can be really invalidating when someone doesn't believe in another's pain and suffering.Yes, it absolutely is painful to be invalidated that way. I can empathize with you on that, because I've experienced it many times in my own life.
> I'm going to try hard to get past this feeling.
Deneb, this is something I struggle with, so I'm not sure quite how to express this, but:FEELINGS ARE.
You don't have to try to get past a feeling, necessarily, so much as learn to accept the feeling, process the feeling, etc. You kinda have to go THROUGH the feeling, rather than avoid it.
That said, something like a DBT group that offers concrete assistance in reducing your distress over strong feelings would be very good for you. At least from what we've seen of you here.
>
> And, just because a person may not like me doesn't mean I can't be liked by others. I have to work on that black and white, all or nothing thinking...
>
Absolutely. I don't know of anything to suggest about how to do that, but that's what I was talking about with superlatives. (So I speak a foreign language -- RacerTongue. I try.) Looking at everything as The Very Worst or The Very Best is a problem, because virtually all of the world falls somewhere between those two extremes.Good luck, Deneb. And I really mean that -- I wish you very good luck.
Posted by gardenergirl on January 10, 2006, at 22:33:30
In reply to Re: What makes you think anyone here questions tha, posted by Deneb on January 10, 2006, at 20:31:27
> > I can only be myself. I know that I'm genuine and real and that should be enough. I shouldn't have to prove myself. Some people will accept me for who I am and others will only accept me if I change to something they want me to be. There's nothing I can do about that. I just have to accept that. I'm going to try to love myself, faults and all.
Deneb, that's a really great insight. I know I need to work on that self-acceptance, too.
((((deneb))))
gg
>
> Deneb
Posted by James K on January 10, 2006, at 22:40:12
In reply to Re: What makes you think anyone here questions tha, posted by Deneb on January 10, 2006, at 20:31:27
It can be really invalidating when someone doesn't believe in another's pain and suffering.
---Hi, I'm afraid I was one of the people who wasn't validating towards you. I'm truly sorry about that. You were working through some things with people who know you and care about you. I should have stepped back out of the way. I'm still learning too.so this is a proper introduction, I'm talking to you, not about you. I hope we can get to know each other properly over time. Again, I apologize and wish you the best.
james k
Posted by Deneb on January 12, 2006, at 17:19:24
In reply to Re: What makes you think anyone here questions tha » Deneb, posted by James K on January 10, 2006, at 22:40:12
> I hope we can get to know each other properly over time. Again, I apologize and wish you the best.
>
> james kIt's OK James K. We all have to be weary of the new people we meet in our lives. Maybe I would have felt the same as you in your situation.
Deneb
This is the end of the thread.
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