Psycho-Babble Social Thread 596987

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Re: A very important request » Deneb

Posted by muffled on January 9, 2006, at 3:04:03

In reply to Re: A very important request, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 22:08:35

> I can't stand it. I can't stand it.
>
> I'm afraid I'm going to do something stupid tomorrow because of some of the things I've been reading on the boards.
>
> What do I have to do to prove that I'm not kidding?
>
>
****To prove your not kidding.....get help....get back on your meds....and come back as the fun and not so desparate Deneb you were a little while back.
That would prove it.
If this stuff is upsetting you. Don't read it.
Its really not so much about you as about this issue of blocking.
Take care Deneb,
Take yer meds.
Come back and show us how much better you can be.
Then you can in top notch form for Toronto.
Muffled

 

Re: A very important request » Deneb

Posted by Dinah on January 9, 2006, at 3:04:03

In reply to Re: A very important request, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 22:21:22

Deneb, I don't have access to your ISP. I can't make the call for help. Only you can. If you think you're a danger to yourself, please contact emergency services, tell your parents, do what you need to do IRL to protect yourself.

Something similar to this happened to me at one time, Deneb, and I contacted my therapist.

I can't repeat it enough. If you feel you are a danger to yourself, you must get help in real life.

 

Re: A very important request

Posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 3:04:03

In reply to Re: A very important request » Deneb, posted by Dinah on January 8, 2006, at 22:25:22

> Deneb, I don't have access to your ISP. I can't make the call for help. Only you can. If you think you're a danger to yourself, please contact emergency services, tell your parents, do what you need to do IRL to protect yourself.

I can't do anything now. My parents are home. I've flushed the aspirin.

I think I'll call the distress centre tomorrow. Maybe I'll call Larry.

>
> Something similar to this happened to me at one time, Deneb, and I contacted my therapist.
>
> I can't repeat it enough. If you feel you are a danger to yourself, you must get help in real life.

Dinah, you understand me. I thank-you for that. I think you understand.

 

Hey Deneb » Deneb

Posted by muffled on January 9, 2006, at 3:04:03

In reply to Re: A very important request, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 22:21:22

Hang in there, don't you want to see Dr. Bob in Toronto?
I think he gotr a soft spot for ya what with posting your cool picture and all. :)
Muffled

 

Re: A very important request » Deneb

Posted by Dinah on January 9, 2006, at 3:04:03

In reply to Re: A very important request, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 22:30:30

Like I said, it happened to me once. Maybe more than once.

It's not worth hurting yourself over, Deneb.

Look at me, not *that* many posters even remember what happened. It seemed like the end of the world at the time, but it wasn't.

 

Re: Hey Deneb » muffled

Posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 3:04:03

In reply to Hey Deneb » Deneb, posted by muffled on January 8, 2006, at 22:31:18

> Hang in there, don't you want to see Dr. Bob in Toronto?

Yes Muffled, I do. Thanks Muffled for bringing that up. I want to tell Dr. Bob that I got straight A's. I want to shake his hand and have him sign my T-shirt. Larry will give me a butter tart. I don't want to die Muffled.

 

Re: Hey Deneb » Deneb

Posted by muffled on January 9, 2006, at 3:04:03

In reply to Re: Hey Deneb » muffled, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 22:36:39

> > Hang in there, don't you want to see Dr. Bob in Toronto?
>
> Yes Muffled, I do. Thanks Muffled for bringing that up. I want to tell Dr. Bob that I got straight A's. I want to shake his hand and have him sign my T-shirt. Larry will give me a butter tart. I don't want to die Muffled.
>
***I am glad you don't want to die. But you might. One of these times you gonna bleed out. Gonna feel sleepy and not wake up. You'll be dead, and never meet Dr. Bob who likes you.
You want that butter tart....then you better get help....or you might not make it........
I'm serious.
You're real.
We care.
I don't want you to die either.
I'm just afraid you might......
by accident.....
:-(
Muffly

 

Re: Hey Deneb » muffled

Posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 3:04:03

In reply to Re: Hey Deneb » Deneb, posted by muffled on January 8, 2006, at 22:47:52

> You're real.

I know.

> We care.

I know many care.

> I don't want you to die either.
> I'm just afraid you might......
> by accident.....

Me too.

> :-(
> Muffly

(((((((Muffly)))))))

 

Re: Hey Deneb

Posted by muffled on January 9, 2006, at 3:04:03

In reply to Re: Hey Deneb » muffled, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 22:51:48

> > I don't want you to die either.
> > I'm just afraid you might......
> > by accident.....
>
> Me too.


>
> (((((((Muffly)))))))
>
***Thanks for hugs Deneb.
I'll miss you if you die.


 

Re: Hey Deneb

Posted by Tabitha on January 9, 2006, at 3:04:04

In reply to Re: Hey Deneb » muffled, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 22:51:48

I care too, Deneb, and I really want to see you pull out of this. Think how proud of you we'd all be if you hang on and call your doctor or the crisis center tomorrow! And wouldn't it be a great thing if, by the time Larry's block is up, you were back on your meds and doing well again? Think about that picture and forget about hurting yourself.

 

This thread may trigger some people (nm)

Posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 3:04:04

In reply to Re: Hey Deneb, posted by Tabitha on January 8, 2006, at 23:06:28

 

Good idea,THX Deneb (nm) » Deneb

Posted by muffled on January 9, 2006, at 3:04:04

In reply to This thread may trigger some people (nm), posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 23:12:15

 

Re: A very important request » Deneb

Posted by NikkiT2 on January 9, 2006, at 4:29:59

In reply to A very important request, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 21:53:12

deneb,

PROVE to us you're not playing with us then. Go get help. Don't say "yeah, I'll do it tomorrow" and then post tomorrow saying "oh, its OK, I don't think I need help now"

YOU NEED HELP.

Put yourself in our shoes. How many times do we have to sit here and listen to you saying things like "I'm taking an overdose", or "I'm buying a rope" etc etc etc, and then a few hours later listen to you say you're not going to bother getting help.

In the UK, getting help is *incredibly* hard.. the waiting lists are huge, and its often years before someone can even begin to get the help they need. You're being offered it on a plate. Can you begin to imagine how frustrated that makes me feel? When I know so many people who would give anything to be in your position, and have the option of treatment?

Start re-building all the bridges. Go get help, and start showing us that we can trust you.

Do it. Call the crisis centre. Please do NOT give us any excuses why you didn't.

Nikki x

 

*Trigger* A Very Important Request *Trigger* » Deneb

Posted by Nickengland on January 9, 2006, at 7:39:40

In reply to A very important request, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 21:53:12

>Can people please, please not say anything about me playing games or faking things or pretending to OD?

>These comments are upsetting me to dangerous levels.

>I'm not kidding.

I think a social worker, your parents, a crisis team and possibly the police should be contacted with regards to outside help and the dangerous levels you could possibly be reaching.

If this website (babble) is part of a cause of the dangerous levels, which you're not kidding about, this should be addressed too.

Outside help is clearly needed, especially if the support here is getting to such levels.

Sometimes because of a situation like this, it could be life-saving that someone does this on your behalf.

-------------------------------------------------

How can you overcome hopelessness which leads to suicidal ideation
In order to overcome a sense of hopelessness you need to:

First: Reach out to others for support to help you follow through on the rest of these steps.
*In the case of dangerous levels* This must be in real life.

Second: Identify what you feel hopeless about.

Third: You then need to identify what distorted, irrational, or unhealthy thinking is at the root of what is making you feel hopeless.

Fourth: Then you need to develop new healthier, more rational ways of thinking about these things.

Fifth: You then need to identify what distorted, irrational, or unhealthy feelings are blocking your acceptance of these new healthier, more rational beliefs and keeping you from being more hopeful.

Sixth: You need to emotionally release all of your blocking feelings through anger workout, despair, and letting go exercises and inner child healing work.

Seventh: Once you have vented anger, cried out your despair, and opened your inner self to experience feelings more freely, you then need to make a place in your life for a Higher Power. This is the God of your belief system. You need to turn to your Higher Power and seek strength, wisdom, and light from your belief. This is the power greater than you to whom you can turn over your unchangeables and uncontrollables. This Higher Power can give you the patience, calmness, and strength to accept reality as it is today for you. As the words in this poem imply, you won't be able to experience the role of your Higher Power in your life unless you allow it to happen.

Eighth: Once you begin to allow yourself to rely on your Higher Power for the strength to "let go'' of your pain, hurt, depression, anger, despair, sense of abandonment, sense of being overwhelmed and alone, then you need to begin to take control of your actions and behaviors and start all over again to attempt to find a sense and order in your life which gives you meaning and a hope to continue on in life.

Ninth: You then need as you "go on'' to focus efforts on breaking down your current problems into smaller workable components which have a greater probability of immediate success. Some examples of success breeders are:

Live one day at a time without focusing on the overwhelming prospects of the future.

Enjoy your "gift of life'' each day and without taking it for granted, since you don't know the day or time when indeed you will die.

Use self-affirmations of your value and worth and work at "falling in love'' with yourself on a daily basis.

Refocus on yourself as the major source of help to get you out of your current pain rather than looking for others' help to rescue or to fix you.

Empower yourself with the belief that there is nothing you can't overcome here on earth with the help and assistance of your Higher Power.

Recognize that, no matter how great the physical, emotional or psychic pain you are going through right now, there is an end to it down the road as long as you continue to work at honestly accepting the reality of life as it really is rather than how you want it to be.

Recognize that rather than solving all of your problems at once you can make greater progress by solving each problem one at a time at a slow and steady pace. Since it took a lifetime to get you here, it will take the rest of your life to get you out.

Allow yourself to be human and open yourself to accept any further failures, mistakes, or slow progress in your efforts to solve your problems.

Accept that "relapse'' is a fact of life in recovery and do not get down on yourself if you should experience any reversal or set back.

Commit yourself not to quit as you proceed in your efforts to turn your life around.

Tenth: As you become more "hopeful'' about yourself and your prospects of "going on,'' reward yourself for your progress and recognize the "success'' you have achieved to that point. It is important for you to recognize your growth and to enjoy the benefits that come with it. Remember success breeds success so reinforce yourself for each incremental step to overcoming hopelessness and in so doing you will become more hopeful on a daily basis.

Eleventh: Recognize as you increase in hopefulness that control for your life rests in you and your relationship with your Higher Power so don't neglect yourself or your Higher Power and take time to relax and have fun as well as give time to your Higher Power through prayer and meditation.

Twelfth: If you should fall prey to a period of hopelessness again, return to Step 1 and begin again.

Steps to handling suicidal thoughts, gestures and attempts
In order to handle suicidal thoughts, gestures, or attempts, you need to take the following steps.

Step 1: In order to take care of any current or future suicidal thoughts, gestures, or attempts, you first must become reconciled about any past such actions in your life. In your journal answer the following questions.

A. Have you ever considered any suicidal thoughts or gestures, or have you ever attempted suicide? If yes, then list each time in your past you:

Considered or thought about suicide.

Made a gesture of a suicidal nature.

Attempted suicide.

B. For each time listed identify the following:

What was going on in your life?

What problems were you dealing with?

Why did you feel hopeless or overwhelmed by these problems?

What irrational or unhealthy beliefs were behind your suicidal thoughts?

Who were you trying to control at that time?

How successful were you in controlling them by your suicidal thoughts, gestures, or attempts?

How did these problems resolve themselves?

Were you fixed or rescued or did you help yourself to get out of this suicidal moment?

What did you learn from this experience?

How helpful was this experience to your personal growth?

C. After taking each suicidal event separately, can you see how you used suicide in your past? How big of a control issue was suicide for you in the past? How did other self-destructive behaviors fit into your suicidal way of thinking, feeling, or acting in the past?

Step 2: Once you have analyzed your past use of suicidal thoughts, gestures, and attempts, you are now ready to analyze any present use of suicidal thoughts, gestures, or attempts. To do so, answer the following questions in your journal.

A. Are you currently considering any suicidal thoughts, gestures, or attempts? If yes, then proceed to answer the following questions. If no, then keep these questions ready in case you should ever become suicidal in the future.

B. What suicidal thoughts, gestures, or actions are you currently engaging in?

C. How lethal are these suicidal thoughts, gestures, or actions? To figure out how lethal, answer the following.

___ yes ___ no (1) Do you have a means of suicide in mind?

___ yes ___ no (2) Is this means of suicide readily available to you at this time?

___ yes ___ no (3) Is this an effective way to kill yourself?

___ yes ___ no (4) Have you ever used this means before to attempt suicide in the past?

___ yes ___ no (5) Are you ready to use this means of suicide at this time?

___ yes ___ no (6) Is nobody living with you at this time who can take control of this means of killing yourself?

If you answered ``yes'' to all six items then you are very lethal and need immediate help. Call a suicide and crisis hotline or call your therapist or better yet ask the police or emergency medical squad to take you to a hospital where you can get immediate medical assistance

If you have answered ``yes'' to items (1), (2), (3), (4), and ``no'' to (5) and ``yes'' or ``no'' to (6), then you need to contact your therapist and continue to work on the following issues with the therapist.

If you have answered ``yes'' to (1) and ``yes'' or ``no'' to (2), and (3), and ``no'' to (4) and (5), and ``yes'' or ``no'' to (6), then you can continue to Step 3 to answer the following questions on your own in your journal.

Step 3: Answer the following:

A. What is currently going wrong in your life that makes you suicidal?

B. What are the specific problems involved? Are these problems (a) individual or relationship oriented? (b) at work, home or in the community? (c) financial, emotional, physical health, sexual, criminal, legal, marital, moral or age related?

C. Are these problems old chronic problems or newly arisen situational problems?

D. Why do you feel hopeless and/or overwhelmed by these problems?

E. attempts have you taken to overcome or rectify these problems?

F. What irrational or unhealthy beliefs or thinking lead to your sense of being overwhelmed or hopeless as you deal with these problems?

G. Whom do you blame for these problems?

H. Whom do you want to control in order to get them to help you out, to rescue you and to fix these problems for you?

I. How will suicide correct these problems?

J. How will your suicide control the people you blame and the people whom you want to fix these problems for you?

K. How will your suicide affect the people you love?

L. What do you need to do to begin to correct or resolve these problems?

What do you need to do for yourself?

What do you need to do with others?

What things do you need to change?

What places do you need to go to in order to handle and correct these problems?

M. What can you do today to take the first step at correcting these problems?

N. What can you do today to increase your sense of being hopeful to change and grow in order to handle your problems?

O. Who can you call upon to help support you in your efforts to change and cope with these problems?

Step 4: As you begin to cope with problems in your life which have made you feel suicidal, remember to call upon your Higher Power to help you to grow more hopeful so as to be successful in the process.

Step 5: If you should slip back into feeling suicidal, then return to Step 1 and begin again.

http://www.coping.org/control/suicide.htm

Broken Dreams

Anonymous

As children bring their broken toys

With tears for us to mend,

I brought my broken dreams to God

Because He was my friend.

But instead of leaving Him

In peace to work alone,

I hung around and tried to help

With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,

"How can You be so slow?''

"My child,'' He said, "What could I do?

You never let them go.''

 

Re: A very important request

Posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 14:59:31

In reply to Re: A very important request » Deneb, posted by NikkiT2 on January 9, 2006, at 4:29:59

> Do it. Call the crisis centre. Please do NOT give us any excuses why you didn't.
>
> Nikki x

Hi Nikki

I didn't call the crisis centre because I've calmed down considerably. I did reach out though. I phoned Larry. We had a conversation about what's been happening on the boards lately among other things. I'm much calmer now.

It felt good to call another Babbler. Now someone here knows that I'm a real genuine person.

My p-doc appointment is tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Deneb

 

Re: A very important request » Deneb

Posted by sleepygirl on January 9, 2006, at 15:09:18

In reply to Re: A very important request, posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 14:59:31

good luck to you Deneb :-)
-all the best,
sleepygirl

 

Re: A very important request » Deneb

Posted by ClearSkies on January 9, 2006, at 15:11:36

In reply to Re: A very important request, posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 14:59:31

> > Do it. Call the crisis centre. Please do NOT give us any excuses why you didn't.
> >
> > Nikki x
>
> Hi Nikki
>
> I didn't call the crisis centre because I've calmed down considerably. I did reach out though. I phoned Larry. We had a conversation about what's been happening on the boards lately among other things. I'm much calmer now.
>
> It felt good to call another Babbler. Now someone here knows that I'm a real genuine person.
>
> My p-doc appointment is tomorrow. Wish me luck.
>
> Deneb

Deneb, Please tell your p-doc everything that you have been posting here. Calming down is great - I am glad you are feeling better today. Just don't minimize your feelings when you talk to him/her about them because you feel better NOW, OK? You didn't feel so good yesterday, as this thread shows.

And of course please let us all know how the p-doc appointment goes.
CS


 

You're doing good Deneb - Good luck tomorrow (nm) » Deneb

Posted by Nickengland on January 9, 2006, at 17:49:49

In reply to Re: A very important request, posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 14:59:31

 

Re: A very important request » Deneb

Posted by fallsfall on January 9, 2006, at 18:44:55

In reply to Re: A very important request, posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 14:59:31

It is important that you don't minimize your pain with your pdoc. Please try to tell him about some time in the last couple of weeks when you have felt particularly bad. He needs to know how bad it gets for you. You can tell him that you are doing better *today*, but please tell him about the times when you aren't doing better.

It is really good that you *can* calm down after a bad period.

 

Good Luck w/your Pdoc

Posted by Poet on January 9, 2006, at 18:49:14

In reply to Re: A very important request, posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 14:59:31

Hi Deneb,

Your pdoc needs to know what's been going through your head. It's okay to write things down and hand it to him/her. It's okay to print out your posts. You don't have to say where you posted them. That's not important. Your words and how you've been feeling are.

I hope things go smoothly. Please post an update.

Poet

 

Re: A very important request

Posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 18:57:13

In reply to Re: A very important request » Deneb, posted by fallsfall on January 9, 2006, at 18:44:55

> It is important that you don't minimize your pain with your pdoc. Please try to tell him about some time in the last couple of weeks when you have felt particularly bad. He needs to know how bad it gets for you. You can tell him that you are doing better *today*, but please tell him about the times when you aren't doing better.

I'll try to do that to the best of my abilities. Thank-you for your suggestions everyone. I think I'll sit down and write points to note right now.

>
> It is really good that you *can* calm down after a bad period.

Me too. I think the Risperdal *did* help.

Deneb

 

Re: A very important request » Deneb

Posted by gardenergirl on January 9, 2006, at 20:31:27

In reply to Re: A very important request, posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 18:57:13

I hope you find your appoointment is useful and not so scary. Try to remember that the goal is for YOU to feel better. That's what the pdoc is for. It doesn't matter what's going on, as long as you are able to be honest with her (her, right?) That's the only way someone can really help, is if they know what the problem is.

And you know, Deneb, we all have problems of some sort. And we're still worthy of love, even if we have problems.

And you're loved.

Take care,

gg

 

Re: A very important request

Posted by Phillipa on January 9, 2006, at 21:19:54

In reply to Re: A very important request » Deneb, posted by gardenergirl on January 9, 2006, at 20:31:27

Glad to know you're back on your meds. Fondly, Phillipa

 

Re: A very important request » Deneb

Posted by JenStar on January 9, 2006, at 21:38:03

In reply to A very important request, posted by Deneb on January 8, 2006, at 21:53:12

Deneb,
I think it's important that you talk about this with your pdoc honestly. If there are patterns here on the board of people not fully trusting you, I think it's important to face that, understand it, and figure out why it keeps happening. Maybe you're not well enough now to accept it and try to work on it, and I understand that. If you're not well, you need to focus first on getting yourself stable.

But at some point, I think you need to be open to the fact that something about your communication methods and style does not seem to lead to mutually trusting relationships with everyone. And it's possible to figure out ways to change that, in the future, if it's important to you to change it.

But again, that might not be a priority NOW. Now you need to focus on getting your meds straight, and keeping yourself healthy.

I think everyone here is rooting for you to get well. I am too.

But if you really want to get well fully, I think you need to be fully honest with the pdoc about all the issues you encounter here and IRL. Then he/she can really work together with you to figure out the best way to get you well.

good luck.
JenStar

 

Re: A very important request » JenStar

Posted by Deneb on January 9, 2006, at 22:03:22

In reply to Re: A very important request » Deneb, posted by JenStar on January 9, 2006, at 21:38:03

> Deneb,
> I think it's important that you talk about this with your pdoc honestly. If there are patterns here on the board of people not fully trusting you, I think it's important to face that, understand it, and figure out why it keeps happening.

I agree. There is something about the way I interact with others that is very maladaptive and destructive. I think a large part of the problem are the boards themselves...I mean, this medium. There aren't enough social cues here or something...

> Maybe you're not well enough now to accept it and try to work on it, and I understand that. If you're not well, you need to focus first on getting yourself stable.

Thank-you for understanding JenStar.

> But if you really want to get well fully, I think you need to be fully honest with the pdoc about all the issues you encounter here and IRL. Then he/she can really work together with you to figure out the best way to get you well.

Most of the "issues" I encounter are here and not in real life, but I still think it is important for me to be able to interact in healthy ways with people here. My pdoc has told me that people here are just online strangers who don't really care about me. I think he is wrong. I think my pdoc may tell me to just avoid Babble if it is causing me distress.

Thanks JenStar for your advice

Deneb


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