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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by april8 on November 13, 2005, at 19:56:54
My pet guinea pig died Nov 2nd and I was devastated. I have never heard the sounds that came out of me until that moment I found him dead.
I am a survivor of childhood trauma, with abuse from my mother and father who I have not seen in 17 years due to their abusiveness.
I am one of the niciest people you could ever meet. I was working for the last 3 years with women and children who have HIV/AIDS. My job just ended Oct 31st, and I was already sad at having to say good bye to so many clients. I lost all of these amazing connections because my program was cut. In August my most beloved client died. That was devastating also.
But Marmot my guinea pig is even worse. It tapped into some kind of huge emotional pain that is unrelenting. It has to do with him and also the loss of my sister when I was four. I am frightened by how devastated I am.
On top of it all of my friends have flaked on me. I am having a really hard time being alone. my boyfriend lives with me, but is working all of the time. I can't be alone.
I am really a wreck and thinking I might go into the hospital for a couple of days. I can't be alone.
Any support would be so great appreciated. Marmot was the first creature on this earth I loved fully without any reservation. I miss him so much. I can't believe he is gone.
Posted by 4wd on November 13, 2005, at 19:56:54
In reply to Devastated, posted by april8 on November 11, 2005, at 20:12:33
> My pet guinea pig died Nov 2nd and I was devastated. I have never heard the sounds that came out of me until that moment I found him dead.
>
> I am a survivor of childhood trauma, with abuse from my mother and father who I have not seen in 17 years due to their abusiveness.
>
> I am one of the niciest people you could ever meet. I was working for the last 3 years with women and children who have HIV/AIDS. My job just ended Oct 31st, and I was already sad at having to say good bye to so many clients. I lost all of these amazing connections because my program was cut. In August my most beloved client died. That was devastating also.
>
> But Marmot my guinea pig is even worse. It tapped into some kind of huge emotional pain that is unrelenting. It has to do with him and also the loss of my sister when I was four. I am frightened by how devastated I am.
> On top of it all of my friends have flaked on me. I am having a really hard time being alone. my boyfriend lives with me, but is working all of the time. I can't be alone.
> I am really a wreck and thinking I might go into the hospital for a couple of days. I can't be alone.
> Any support would be so great appreciated. Marmot was the first creature on this earth I loved fully without any reservation. I miss him so much. I can't believe he is gone.
April, are you being treated for depression? I mean are you on medication? It sounds as if you are experiencing this trauma at a level that is dangerous. If you are feeling bad enough that you can't be alone, you need to get some help. If you have a doctor, call him or her.The loss of a pet is a terrible event. But it sounds like it is triggering memories of some past traumas that may need to be dealt with.
I wish you the best and my sympathies for your loss.
Marsha
Posted by Phillipa on November 13, 2005, at 19:56:54
In reply to Re: Devastated » april8, posted by 4wd on November 11, 2005, at 21:45:42
It could be PTSD. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by cache-monkey on November 13, 2005, at 19:56:54
In reply to Devastated, posted by april8 on November 11, 2005, at 20:12:33
> My pet guinea pig died Nov 2nd and I was devastated. I have never heard the sounds that came out of me until that moment I found him dead.
>
> I am a survivor of childhood trauma, with abuse from my mother and father who I have not seen in 17 years due to their abusiveness.
>
> I am one of the niciest people you could ever meet. I was working for the last 3 years with women and children who have HIV/AIDS. My job just ended Oct 31st, and I was already sad at having to say good bye to so many clients. I lost all of these amazing connections because my program was cut. In August my most beloved client died. That was devastating also.
>
> But Marmot my guinea pig is even worse. It tapped into some kind of huge emotional pain that is unrelenting. It has to do with him and also the loss of my sister when I was four. I am frightened by how devastated I am.
> On top of it all of my friends have flaked on me. I am having a really hard time being alone. my boyfriend lives with me, but is working all of the time. I can't be alone.
> I am really a wreck and thinking I might go into the hospital for a couple of days. I can't be alone.
> Any support would be so great appreciated. Marmot was the first creature on this earth I loved fully without any reservation. I miss him so much. I can't believe he is gone.Dear april,
I'm so sorry that you have to suffer like this right now. The world is really not fair sometimes when it just heaps on more on top of your unhealed wounds.
Do you have *anyone* there with you that you can go to for solace? If you're seeing a therapist, maybe you can get an urgent appointment. Also, as Marsha mentioned, medication might need to be added or changed for a time.
If you are really on the edge and thinking about going to the hostpital, you have nothing to lose by doing that. There are people there who can counsel you and potentially help with some meds to put something of a floor under you.
Peace,
cache-monkey
Posted by april8 on November 13, 2005, at 20:02:33
In reply to Re: Devastated, posted by Phillipa on November 11, 2005, at 23:19:01
> It could be PTSD. Fondly, Phillipa
Thank you everyone. I have a therapist,but she moved out of town and we only have phone sessions. But she has really really been there for me. I am on meds for depression. I do have really bad PTSD.
I am starting to feel slightly better today, I have been just letting myself cry on my boyfriend and it has been helping. It will take time but losing this pet is a huge loss when I already was vunerable.
I have realized that he was better than my friends and that is why it was even worse. Somehow realizing that made me feel better. Who knows why.
Anyway, thank you so much for your kind words, I am just going to take it day by day.
April
Posted by Racer on November 13, 2005, at 20:02:34
In reply to Devastated, posted by april8 on November 13, 2005, at 12:07:00
You've posted this before, and gotten some responses, but I think you'll get more response and more support over on Social. This board is basically about medications, so I suspect this thread is likely to be redirectd there -- I'd do it myself if I knew how.
I'm sorry for your losses.
Posted by Deneb on November 14, 2005, at 20:36:16
In reply to Devastated, posted by april8 on November 11, 2005, at 20:12:33
((((((((((((((april8)))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((Marmot))))))))))))))))
I just lost my hamster Hammie a few weeks ago and I know how horrible it feels. Time will lessen your grief. It took a while for me to be able to remember Hammie without bursting into tears. Take comfort in knowing that you gave Marmot a rich and full life.
Deneb
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