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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Snoozin on August 10, 2005, at 20:15:00
There is another message board I participate in, and while 98% of the people are nice and relatively respectful of different points of view, there are a few who are *really* mean. I try to be nice in my answers, they are still mean. I ignore them, they are still mean. Not just in a pi**y mood, I mean downright cruel in their words and intentions.
What makes people act this way? And if you know, how do you stop it?
Thanks,
Susan
(feeling simultaneously annoyed and sorry for mean people)
Posted by ClearSkies on August 10, 2005, at 21:37:01
In reply to Why are People Mean?, posted by Snoozin on August 10, 2005, at 20:15:00
I don't know why people are mean. i try not to give people reason to be mean to me.
If someone online is mean to me I might try to ask what it is about me that they dislike so. If it isn't a pleasant answer or one I can defend civily, I would give the person a wide berth or ask them not to post to me if there isn't a "don't show posts of certain users" facility on the board.
Or else I try not to read anything they post (that't the hardest choice for a compulsive reader).
Posted by justyourlaugh on August 10, 2005, at 22:14:53
In reply to Re: Why are People Mean?, posted by ClearSkies on August 10, 2005, at 21:37:01
today while standing in line at the drug store...the guy infront of me insisted i go ahead of him...and he asked me out for a drink...
i was feeling so ugly.(chopped off my hair in the bathroom this morning)..it made my day..
good people over run the hurtful...
j
Posted by Snoozin on August 10, 2005, at 22:29:08
In reply to good people..., posted by justyourlaugh on August 10, 2005, at 22:14:53
> today while standing in line at the drug store...the guy infront of me insisted i go ahead of him...and he asked me out for a drink...
> i was feeling so ugly.(chopped off my hair in the bathroom this morning)..it made my day..
> good people over run the hurtful...
> jI haven't been here for a long time, but I always love what you post, JYL.
I think it's part of my obsessive personality that I tend to dwell on *why* people are mean.
But on the other hand, I also dwell on people are *nice* too. ;-)
Posted by Snoozin on August 10, 2005, at 22:31:50
In reply to Re: Why are People Mean?, posted by ClearSkies on August 10, 2005, at 21:37:01
> I don't know why people are mean. i try not to give people reason to be mean to me.
Yeah, I do try to be respectful myself (not always successfully, I know). Actually it doesn't bother me nearly as much when people are mean to me. It bothers me when they are mean to others. I don't know why that is. But when people post racial slurs (extremely cruel ones) and things like that, it just about kills me.
But you are right. I need to ignore, because sometimes I think they feed of the negative reactions.....
Posted by ClearSkies on August 10, 2005, at 22:52:17
In reply to Re: Why are People Mean?, posted by Snoozin on August 10, 2005, at 22:31:50
I think this is a whole new kettle of fish and really brings into a question of morality, ethics, and setting an example.
For example: I have seen parents being mean to their children by talking on the cellphone and dragging the kids along, regardless of what they are trying to say to their parents.
I think this is a great wrong - teaches wrong lessons about boundaries, privacies, and how to behave in a store with your children
Yet I have never stirred up the nerve to go up to such a parent a suggest they finish their phone call to attend to the current crisis. Instead I have a nifty trick of positioning myself in the store NEVER to run into this entourage again. It may mean that I come home with half the groceries missing, but hey - we are eating less.
ClearSkies
Posted by AuntieMel on August 11, 2005, at 8:28:44
In reply to Why are People Mean?, posted by Snoozin on August 10, 2005, at 20:15:00
I have a theory that those who put others down do it because they feel inferior themselves.
The only way they know to feel better about themselves is to convince themselves that other people are beneath them.
I watch Springer for the same reasons.
Posted by snoozin on August 11, 2005, at 10:18:19
In reply to Re: Why are People Mean? » Snoozin, posted by AuntieMel on August 11, 2005, at 8:28:44
> I have a theory that those who put others down do it because they feel inferior themselves.
>
> The only way they know to feel better about themselves is to convince themselves that other people are beneath them.
>
> I watch Springer for the same reasons.Hahah! I know what you mean about Springer, I do the same thing! :-)
I know these folks are probably feeling inferior, but if I give them a compliment or something, don't they just take it as license to keep being jerks?
I dunno. One of these guys on this forum actually apologized for being a jerk, so I thanked him and will treat him as a human until he acts like a jerk again. :-)
This is the end of the thread.
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