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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Thomasin on August 7, 2005, at 12:58:36
So, okay, I hardly ever post on these things because I'm pathologically shy ( not however, socially phobic) and I'm quite certain no one is even marginally interested in anyhting I have to say. But I find I have this "stuff" I need to at least check out with other shall we say, quirky people because the "sane" people I know look at me blankly when I try to talk about this and I can see their thoughts which are something along the lines of"...but she's such a bright, warm, funny person why can't she just blah,blah,blah..."
So, the thing is, I'm forty, I have a useless BA(liberal arts w/ an emphasis in history)as well as much experience as a Veterinary Technician (which I dearly love to do)and yet I cannot seem to get or keep a job in my chosen field. I seem to be destined to earn less than ten dollars an hour in a retail job I don't particularly like.
I get fired frequently, I don't get raises, I never seem to advance in any company or clinic I work at. I will think I'm doing a good job and suddenly I'm fired again. Or, even before I get the job, I'll have what seems like a great interveiw and not get the job. Or, my most recent and favorite experience, I get the job and 4 days later am told I am too timid and nervous and "not a good fit" at their clinic. And I'm dumped.
So, I usually don't share about the OCD,ADD, depression/anxiety with management and such, I'll mention I'm shy because it's hard not to notice when I get squirelly(y'know, short of breath,shakey,jumpy,etc)but, I'm not that bad in any of those areas. My meds have everything pretty much under control.The question then is do I put out some kind of chemically imbalanced pheromone? Do I go into fugue states and make completely business destroying mistakes at work? Am I just so "other" that bosses are so uncomfortable around me they have to fire me? Do I stink? What?
Am I way more unaware of myself than I ever imagined and am I somehow sabotaging myself?(I really spend probably an inordinate time figuring out myself so I'm doubtful)Does anyone else experience this inability to be "successful" by real world standards? Does anyone else have this huge dicotomy between who they are in their private vs. public worlds? And this has been an issue my whole life. No ammount of therapy,drugs, behavior modification, etc. seems to change the fact that people veiw me as someone not capable or less capable as others in a work situation.`
Any insight or complaining would be welcome...
Posted by Dinah on August 7, 2005, at 13:42:41
In reply to Having life/work issues, posted by Thomasin on August 7, 2005, at 12:58:36
I don't suppose any of them offered sufficient feedback to give you an idea of what's going on?
Have you tried going to see a therapist or coach who specializes in work related issues? My therapist does some of that. He's occasionally given me pithy feedback about how I present myself.
Having spent exactly two days as an apprentice vet technician, I know that it can be a relatively high stress and fast moving job. Is there anything about that part of the job that could be tripping you up with OCD? I'm in a job where my OCD is actually something of an advantage, and my husband is as well. But even so it occasionally causes me problems.
Welcome to Babble, and I'm glad you decided to post.
Hopefully someone who is better than I am at the workplace can give you some ideas.
Posted by Poet on August 7, 2005, at 23:15:06
In reply to Having life/work issues, posted by Thomasin on August 7, 2005, at 12:58:36
Hi Thomasin,
The reigning Queen of the Employment Losers welcomes you to babble. I'm interested in reading your posts. People read and respond to my whining about career failure. It's dismaying, but comforting to see someone else who can't figure out what is going wrong.
I get stuck in jobs that are mindless. My cruddy temp job just went perm and I had to take it because I knew I wouldn't get another job.
I am good at- writing, proofreading- I don't get past an interview. I've been told I am the number one candidate and I'll hear tomorrow, only tomorrow passes without a word.
My therapist thinks that I am so anxious about getting a *real* job that the interviewer picks up on it and gets uncomfortable. Maybe your shyness makes them uncomfortable- that they might have to tip toe around not to scare you.
I keep trying and trying and end up more and more hurt. I can't stop blaming myself for not getting the job. It's all my fault and I get depressed. My T keeps telling me to talk brakes, but if I see a job I know I can do I go for it. Get let down and feel low for awhile
Perhaps we could trade interviews- I like animals and have three cats and a lizard. I had a diabetic cat that needed insulin injections twice a day. So I have experience in that area.
I have an an interview next week. Nonprofit adult education. Even if some of it is mindless I would be able to read books at my desk, not just shuffle papers to pretend I'm doing something. I know we can't switch physicially, but we can send our brains through cyber space. I think it could work.
We'll both excit the monarchy before it collapses on us. Onward to happier places to do more challenging things for better wages...
I'll post when I get the interview. I'm callin her tomorrow. It would even pay a few bucks more and hour. Then I could buy soda from the machine and go to Sam's Club and drag a pallet through of them out to my car.
See I ramble, too. Usually ambian takes longer to work, I'm really feeling it and must sign off.
We will end our career failure together. The last few weeks many social board posters have gotten new jobs. We are next!
POET
Posted by MidnightBlue on August 7, 2005, at 23:29:38
In reply to Having life/work issues, posted by Thomasin on August 7, 2005, at 12:58:36
Hi,
Welcome to Babble. I've been "fired" or encouraged strongly to resign from every job I've had. Not that I've had that many. One job failure can set me back for a couple of years. Sometimes I think it might be my boss. I've had some real strange ones. None of my jobs have really used my talents.
Basically, I've given up. I will never have a good job. I'm not physically or emotionally able to handle one. But I'm older than you. So hang in there. You are still young enough to have good things happen to you.
MB
Posted by Thomasin on August 8, 2005, at 10:07:06
In reply to Re: Having life/work issues » Thomasin, posted by Poet on August 7, 2005, at 23:15:06
Poet-
You sound like a total soul mate. I think we must work on that exchanging bodies(minds?)thing for interveiws. Unfortunately what come to my mind(because as we know, I'm sick)is the movie The Fly. Not the original but the '80's version with Jeff Goldblum. What a way to not impress at an interveiw,eh?
Anyway, good luck at all impending interveiws. Maybe you are right and they can smell fear...I'll have to work on that. Thomasin
Posted by Thomasin on August 8, 2005, at 10:13:13
In reply to Re: Having life/work issues » Thomasin, posted by MidnightBlue on August 7, 2005, at 23:29:38
MB-
I've been thinking over the weekend as I wait to hear from another retail manager that maybe I too should step back from my chosen career path and just try to deal w/ a boring job that has insurance and pays at least a livable wage. Maybe all this effort and struggle to fit in, to conquer myself is doing no more than making me even crazier...T
This is the end of the thread.
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