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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 107. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by med_empowered on August 8, 2005, at 10:06:44
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS, posted by Declan on August 6, 2005, at 3:34:19
Hey! Sorry about your obsession. But..I have to say that obsession with penis size in guys, like the obsession with weight in women, is probably due largely to cultural factors. Some studies (mostly done by sociologists, I believe...I'll look for specifics and try to get back to you) suggest that anorexia/bulimia are *largely* influenced by cultural definitions of "beauty". Although the research has focused primarily on women and adolescent females, logically definitions of beauty could affect men as well, though perhaps to a lesser degree. For example, one study focused on an island culture where exposure to television and other forms of mass-media from the US and Europe were minimal. As the island "progressed," television was introduced quickly and on a massive scale via satellite. Within a few years, the anorexia/bulimia rates shot up *exponentially*. Before television exposure became commonplace, anorexia/bulimia was extremely rare and largely limited to those who had serious pre-existing mental health/adjustmen issues (basically, it was secondary to other problems). It was also largely limited to the upper-classes, since the elite of the society were more likely to have exposure to television and live "modern" (read: US/European middle- to upper- class) lifestyles and values. As television penetrated all levels of society, eating disorder rates shot up *very* quickly, and there were more "normal" women developing these disorders, even in the absence of "major" mental health problems. So...I guess I'd say your problem probably isn't a disorder per se (although some shrinks *might* diagnose it as such); rather, I'd guess its a result of cultural definitions of what makes a "real man" and the resulting anxiety from trying to live up to those (exagerrated, often toxic) expectations. Maybe if you re-evaluate your own understanding of what "makes a man" (and what "makes a woman"), you'll have less anxiety regarding your penis size. I'd recommend looking into some sociological theory/research on gender roles and transferring the energy you use to obsess about your penis to pursue something more constructive...spirituality, volunteering, writing, meditating, reading, etc. Making friends and talking with people who don't "fit" with traditional notions of masculinity/feminity--lesbian women, gay/bisexual men, etc.-- would also give you some perspective on the issue, and be enlightening in other respects as well. Good luck!
Posted by ed_uk on August 8, 2005, at 10:06:44
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS, posted by med_empowered on August 6, 2005, at 11:04:25
>Making friends and talking with people who don't "fit" with traditional notions of masculinity/feminity--lesbian women, gay/bisexual men, etc.-- would also give you some perspective on the issue, and be enlightening in other respects as well.
Yes, I'm gay and I prefer normal sized penises to big ones. Big ones are kind of out of proportion. LOL sorry, too much info :-O
~Ed
Posted by linkadge on August 8, 2005, at 10:06:44
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS » linkadge, posted by ed_uk on August 6, 2005, at 16:48:13
Geez, I have known since (almost since grade 3 if you can believe it).
Nobody knows. Not parents, not relatives, friends etc.
Yeah, its so akward. Thats one reason I really liked the SSRI's was that they did make me asexual. They also made me more accepting of it, I suppose. It just makes it all easier.
Not sure how to break it to the parents. I guess it can stay hidden ffrom them for longer still :)
Linkadge
Posted by linkadge on August 8, 2005, at 10:06:44
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS » linkadge, posted by ed_uk on August 6, 2005, at 16:48:13
I'm surprised that your pdoc did that. Isn't something like that confidenial ?
Unless I decide to presue anything, I'd die if my counseller told anyone. Oh no, now I'm paranoid !
Linkadge
Posted by ed_uk on August 8, 2005, at 10:06:44
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS, posted by linkadge on August 6, 2005, at 18:11:00
Hi Link,
>Not sure how to break it to the parents.
How do you think they'd react?
~ed
Posted by ed_uk on August 8, 2005, at 10:06:44
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS, posted by linkadge on August 7, 2005, at 0:05:57
Hi Link,
>I'm surprised that your pdoc did that. Isn't something like that confidenial?
I asked her to tell them.
>Oh no, now I'm paranoid !
Don't be - s/he won't :-)
~Ed
Posted by Declan on August 8, 2005, at 10:06:45
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS » linkadge, posted by ed_uk on August 6, 2005, at 16:48:13
Heart attacks, starving to death, will my relatives accept my sexuality, will I burn in hell forever (just thought I'd throw that in). Obsessing about the size of your dick doesn't really compare with these, eh?
Declan
Posted by ed_uk on August 8, 2005, at 10:06:45
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS, posted by Declan on August 7, 2005, at 15:01:34
>Obsessing about the size of your dick doesn't really compare with these, eh?
LOL, do you still obsess about it?
~Ed
Posted by Declan on August 8, 2005, at 10:06:45
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS » Declan, posted by ed_uk on August 7, 2005, at 15:35:15
Oh Ed, I dunno that *I'd* call it obsessing. Everyone likes a big one, don't you think, but it depends on what you're gonna do with it too.
Declan
Posted by ed_uk on August 8, 2005, at 10:06:45
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS, posted by Declan on August 7, 2005, at 16:21:12
Hi Declan,
>Everyone likes a big one, don't you think.......
I dunno, I think it's a confidence boost more than anything!
~Ed
Posted by linkadge on August 8, 2005, at 10:06:45
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS » linkadge, posted by ed_uk on August 7, 2005, at 6:17:49
Lets just say with my mother's high blood pressure, it might not be medically advisable :)
Linkadge
Posted by linkadge on August 8, 2005, at 10:06:45
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS » mike84, posted by ed_uk on August 7, 2005, at 16:40:24
In some cultures, it's the size of the bottom lip that makes a person attractive. Whats downstairs is meaningless.
Its all in the eye of the beholder.
Linkadge
Posted by AuntieMel on August 8, 2005, at 11:43:34
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS, posted by linkadge on August 7, 2005, at 17:17:52
Posted by ed_uk on August 8, 2005, at 16:24:45
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS, posted by linkadge on August 7, 2005, at 17:14:14
>Lets just say with my mother's high blood pressure, it might not be medically advisable :)
Gosh. Perhaps you could give her a Rivotril first.
~Ed
Posted by linkadge on August 8, 2005, at 17:56:29
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS » linkadge, posted by ed_uk on August 8, 2005, at 16:24:45
Its not just that. Its the fact that my parents are so religiously oriented. My grandfather was a Anglican Minister.
Its almost better if I don't tell them. It would literally make her more depressed since she'd live out the rest of her days thinking that I'd burn in hell for the rest of eternity.
Its really a mess.
I'd also need to meet somebody first otherwise they'd think that I could still be turned :)
Linkadge
Posted by Phillipa on August 8, 2005, at 20:43:18
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS, posted by linkadge on August 8, 2005, at 17:56:29
Just wanted to say that my best friends have always been gay. I love gay guys and if my son told me he was gay who cares? What makes you happy is what's important. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by rjlockhart98 on August 8, 2005, at 20:46:24
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS, posted by linkadge on August 8, 2005, at 17:56:29
Phillipa! i cant belive that. I thought you where married to a General.
Well anyway, the trip to colorado was ok.
Im tired.
Posted by linkadge on August 8, 2005, at 21:25:08
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS, posted by Phillipa on August 8, 2005, at 20:43:18
I totally agree with you.
Linkadge
Posted by wildcard on August 9, 2005, at 12:20:24
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS » Phillipa, posted by linkadge on August 8, 2005, at 21:25:08
Declan u are too funny :).. but who got a PBC for (as it's called on admin.) the penis thread? Actually guys, the bigger the better is NOT always true...it can hurt:(
Posted by ed_uk on August 9, 2005, at 15:25:43
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS, posted by linkadge on August 8, 2005, at 17:56:29
Hi Link,
>Its the fact that my parents are so religiously oriented. My grandfather was a Anglican Minister.
My mother's catholic but she doesn't mind that I'm gay. Perhaps she wouldn't react in the way that you think.
>I'd burn in hell for the rest of eternity....
Would she really believe that?
>I'd also need to meet somebody first otherwise they'd think that I could still be turned........
I think my parents gave up on that idea a long time ago!
~Ed
Posted by linkadge on August 9, 2005, at 15:58:19
In reply to sick of seeing penis in capital letters » linkadge, posted by ed_uk on August 9, 2005, at 15:25:43
>I'd burn in hell for the rest of eternity....
>Would she really believe that?Well, if she upped her mellaril then maybe she could see through that. But she always get caught in the restrictions of various religious doctrines.
Linkadge
Posted by ed_uk on August 9, 2005, at 16:22:46
In reply to Re: sick of seeing penis in capital letters, posted by linkadge on August 9, 2005, at 15:58:19
Hi Link,
>Well, if she upped her mellaril then maybe she could see through that.
You think her 'religiosity' is part of her illness?
~Ed
Posted by ed_uk on August 9, 2005, at 16:30:03
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS, posted by linkadge on August 8, 2005, at 17:56:29
>I'd also need to meet somebody first otherwise they'd think that I could still be turned :)
Do you have anyone in mind?
~Ed
Posted by linkadge on August 9, 2005, at 19:48:00
In reply to Re: sick of seeing penis in capital letters » linkadge, posted by ed_uk on August 9, 2005, at 16:22:46
"You think her 'religiosity' is part of her illness?"
Perhaps she would be the same if she had not been raised in a such a religious environment, I don't know.
I do think that what she has been taught does not always lend itself to an often unforgiving mind.
Linkadge
Posted by linkadge on August 9, 2005, at 20:39:31
In reply to Re: Obsessed with my PENIS » linkadge, posted by ed_uk on August 9, 2005, at 16:30:03
>Do you have anyone in mind?
Yeah, but I'm intimidated by the dynamics of the situation.
Linkadge
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