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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Shortelise on July 27, 2005, at 0:35:41
I have read enough venting, whining, complaiing notes in my time here that I feel little compunction about writing one - you are forewarned, right?
First of all, my MIL is sick in another city. SHe's 84 years old, my husband was there when it happened ten days ago, but had to come home to start a new job. Plus, he was so homesick. She's in a rehab center, and my brother and sister in law live in the same city. They are not seeing her often and can't tell us what's going on with her. My husband is SO WORRIED about her. I can't go until ....
My niece is visiting until next Tues. She is 15, has ADHD and is driving me up the wall. She is so obnoxious. Her parents are idiots, her father is a racist, ignorant mysogenist. Her mother, my sister, is obese, has no self esteem, she and her husband have a horrible relationship - no violence but no love. My niece reflects all of this in the dreadful way she interacts.
We alslohave a student who lives with us whom I love dearly, but who is having money problems that we cannot help her with - so many of the students who come end up having financial problems. There is nothing we can do.
My T and I are going through termination, and he read me the riot act last time I saw him. I feel unsupported, like 42 D jogging with no Maidenform. :-) Ok, well, my (really bad) sense of humour has not desrted me!
Seriously, my husband witha new job and a scik mother is not here for me. I have to be the pillar of strength for everyone around here right now and I don't feel up to it. I am doing it, but oh, oh, oh, I am so tired. It feels like I cook one meal and it's time to cook the next. My niece and I do something, a project, craft, go to a moive or something, and she there in my face, saying, ok, what next?! And we streaked her hair today (the student and I) and she didn't even thank us!!! She's in that ingrate stage of adolescence that's so hard to take.
**Deep breath**
No advice please. I am going to my MIL's as soon as my niece leaves. My husband will calm down, and I'll do whatever it takes to help the student. I'll go for a massage, and will try to keep myself in a calm place. But it's so hard. With therapy ending, albeit very slowly, I feel really alone.
Thanks for listening. It helps to write it down.
ShortE
Posted by alexandra_k on July 27, 2005, at 2:27:13
In reply to need to vent, whine, complain, posted by Shortelise on July 27, 2005, at 0:35:41
(((ShortE)))
You are indeed entitled to vent.
I've been known to do a little of that myself...
;-)Sometimes life seems like a bit of a struggle from one thing to the next thing a bit of a neverending struggle...
But it isn't always like that. I hope things pick up for you soon.
Until then...
Vent away :-)
Posted by Annierose on July 27, 2005, at 7:42:18
In reply to need to vent, whine, complain, posted by Shortelise on July 27, 2005, at 0:35:41
Sounds like a tough spot to be in. Do you remember the man from the circus that had to keep all those plates spinning on a stick at the same time? That's what you're doing right now. It's exhausting.
Your niece is lucky to have you. In my life, it was my grandma who gave me TIME, something no one else in my life had for me. She'll remember her time with her aunt, even though she's a pain right now. When my 11 year old get into that "what's next?" mode, I'll gently reply, "this isn't summer camp."
Good Luck, the end is near. Wishes for your MIL.
Annierose
Posted by sleepygirl on July 27, 2005, at 12:03:40
In reply to need to vent, whine, complain, posted by Shortelise on July 27, 2005, at 0:35:41
Adolescents can be so infuriating can't they? Well at least you will be one kind, nurturing, stable presence in her life, when she is able to look back and appreciate it, despite her antics.
I'm so sorry you're going through the termination right now.
You can't take care of EVERYTHING that's for sure. Hang in there and vent, whine, and complain all you'd like!
Posted by Shortelise on July 27, 2005, at 13:10:36
In reply to need to vent, whine, complain, posted by Shortelise on July 27, 2005, at 0:35:41
Thanks Everyone. I could just sit down and cry right now...
ShortE
Posted by alexandra_k on July 27, 2005, at 15:46:42
In reply to Re: need to vent, whine, complain, posted by Shortelise on July 27, 2005, at 13:10:36
> I could just sit down and cry right now...
I hope you are able to take some time to do that. It can be cathartic. It might help you feel better.
Posted by Damos on July 27, 2005, at 16:56:19
In reply to need to vent, whine, complain, posted by Shortelise on July 27, 2005, at 0:35:41
(((((ShortE)))))
Wow, next time I feel in need of a good vent can you write it for me?
Seriously though, you've got a heck of a lot on your plate right now and a termination to boot. Hope your MIL will be okay. And yes your niece and the student will remember your kindnesses and the time you took for them long into the future.
I've only learned the cleansing and healing power of tears this year, so sneaking a few minutes for a good cry sounds like a good idea to me.
Posted by Shortelise on July 27, 2005, at 20:10:47
In reply to Re: need to vent, whine, complain » Shortelise, posted by Annierose on July 27, 2005, at 7:42:18
Thanks so very much. It makes me feel so much better to write it and have it ackowledged. It feels like you're on my side. Thank you.
Maybe I will have a good cry, if I can find somewhere private to do it. The garage?
ShortE
Posted by alexandra_k on July 27, 2005, at 20:37:45
In reply to Re: need to vent, whine, complain, posted by Shortelise on July 27, 2005, at 20:10:47
can you get in the car and go somewhere for a little bit...
go somewhere and you can scream if you want as well. somewhere where you could do that if you wanted.
dunno if you feel like screaming, but sometimes that can help.
but a cry in the garage could be good too.
:-)
Posted by Phillipa on July 27, 2005, at 22:08:57
In reply to Re: need to vent, whine, complain » Shortelise, posted by alexandra_k on July 27, 2005, at 20:37:45
Okay, someone just said to me that when too much is happening at the same time stop, take a deep breath, and tackle the first thing first. When I was a nurse I had to work in ICU. There were so many tubes and lines my head started swimming. So what I did was pick each one up separately and trace the bag it went to and what was going in. In other words focus on one thing at a time. Wish I could do this. It's always so easy to give others advise but to follow it now that's hard. Fondly, Phillipa
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