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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on June 27, 2005, at 21:14:52
My uncle just called me at home to yell at me because I gave a customer a free meal for having filled out her free meal club card. Most of the stamps on the card where not from our restaurant. I'm not supposed to honour cards that do not have our stamps only. The cards do not say this...this is just something my uncle made up because he is super cheap. I hate this...I don't like him as a person. I don't like his value system. I hate how he's making my 12 year old cousin (his son) work. I wish I didn't have to work...I just want to die right now. I wish I could break my arm...then my uncle will be screwed. I don't want to got to work. I want to die instead. I hate this. I put a curse on him...curse on him!
Posted by Deneb on June 27, 2005, at 21:19:41
In reply to I'm so upset right now :-(, posted by Deneb on June 27, 2005, at 21:14:52
That's f*cking it...I'm gonna OD on some drugs or something. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. My uncle is a horrible human being. I'll be so sick tomorrow, he'll be screwed!
Posted by Jen Star on June 27, 2005, at 22:41:17
In reply to I'm so upset right now :-(, posted by Deneb on June 27, 2005, at 21:14:52
hi Deneb,
it sounds like to me like you did the right thing for the customer, esp. if the cards don't make it clear, and if there is no big sign in the restaurant that clarifies it. You probably took a big step towards keeping a return customer! Your Uncle should have congratulated you for making a good decision instead of yelling at you. I'm sorry. :(If I ran the restaurant, I'd praise you for doing what you did! And if we wanted to change the policy, I'd recommend changing the cards or putting up signs that explain it.
I hope work gets better. I'm sorry you had a rotten day! And I know YOU know that hurting yourself won't make anything better. I think I know you well enough by now to realize that you're not really serious about hurting yourself, but sort of using hyperbole to demonstrate how bad you feel. At least I hope this is the case!
Take care, relax, and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. :)
JenStar
Posted by Deneb on June 27, 2005, at 23:12:28
In reply to Re: I'm so upset right now :-( » Deneb, posted by Jen Star on June 27, 2005, at 22:41:17
Thanks JenStar
I think I feel a little better now. I'm not crying anymore. I played with Hammie a bit and he was funny. I looked around for pills to take, but there were none. I thought of taking the hundred or so X's that I still have, but that would have been stupid. They have probably expired by now and they are quite safe in overdose. Anyways, I don't think I would have done it...I need to be really desperate to do such a thing...like thinking that I'm going to fail an exam if I don't get out of it.
I agree that there should be signs up explaining this policy of my uncle's. The cards he passes out should also have it explained. It is confusing for people because this place he runs is a franchise and as such there are certain promotions etc. that he must participate in. My uncle acts like he has complete control over his restaurant when he really doesn't. Oh well, if he gets into trouble with the head office that will be his problem. My uncle tries desperately to get away with not paying royalties etc. He is most definitely not a law abiding citizen...he even wanted my aunt to work for him for $6/hr (which is below minimum wage here) and not use her SIN card number.
> Take care, relax, and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. :)
Maybe I should learn some relaxation techniques or something, or some impulse control techniques. I only "lose it" for a short while. Hammie soothes me. I'm going to be really upset when he dies.
Deneb
Posted by Jen Star on June 28, 2005, at 0:20:08
In reply to Re: I'm so upset right now :-( » Jen Star, posted by Deneb on June 27, 2005, at 23:12:28
hi Deneb,
your uncle definitely does not sound fun to work for! How long will you work there? Is this a temporary or permanent position?Is there any way you could influence him to change his policies to be more customer friendly, or to get him to follow rules better? It sounds like they rely on you for certain things. Can you increase your importance there?
good luck! Take care. Tomorrow will be a better day. :)
JenStar
Posted by anastasia56 on June 28, 2005, at 0:33:01
In reply to Re: I'm so upset right now :-( » Deneb, posted by Jen Star on June 28, 2005, at 0:20:08
jen star is absolutely right. What you did made for a happy customer which usually means that pay a return visit. I was in retail forever and those were the words we lived by.
you uncle needs a lesson in customer satisfaction and customer service. Many restaurants die by not learning that.
ana
p.s. do you think hammie would like a friend in his cage with him...a little female hammie?
Posted by alexandra_k on June 28, 2005, at 0:55:31
In reply to Re: I'm so upset right now :-(, posted by anastasia56 on June 28, 2005, at 0:33:01
> p.s. do you think hammie would like a friend in his cage with him...a little female hammie?
aaaaaaaaaaah good idea. I think we established before that hammie would likely kill another hammie. but not a cute little girlie hammie, surely :-)
and then there might be lots of baby hammies to look after.
brilliant
thats just brilliant :-)
Posted by Jazzed on June 28, 2005, at 7:17:05
In reply to Re: I'm so upset right now :-(, posted by Deneb on June 27, 2005, at 21:19:41
> That's f*cking it...I'm gonna OD on some drugs or something. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. My uncle is a horrible human being. I'll be so sick tomorrow, he'll be screwed!
>
>F*CK him Deneb! Get away from there! It isn't worth it. Disappear, go find a new life. It's not worth taking yours because your uncle is a f*ckwad! Please don't do anything to yourself, you have so much to live for IF you can get out from under.
Jazzy
Posted by Jazzed on June 28, 2005, at 7:18:35
In reply to Re: I'm so upset right now :-( » Jen Star, posted by Deneb on June 27, 2005, at 23:12:28
He is most definitely not a law abiding citizen...he even wanted my aunt to work for him for $6/hr (which is below minimum wage here) and not use her SIN card number.
Turn him in! Anonymously though.
Posted by Deneb on June 28, 2005, at 9:29:03
In reply to Re: I'm so upset right now :-( » Deneb, posted by Jen Star on June 28, 2005, at 0:20:08
> How long will you work there?
Only for this summer...hopefully.
Is this a temporary or permanent position?
Temporary...hopefully.
> Is there any way you could influence him to change his policies to be more customer friendly, or to get him to follow rules better?
No, he is super cheap...he even cooked up and served meat that was starting to go bad! He is raising prices already and he's only been open for about a week. His life revolves around money...everything else is just there to either help him get more money or hinder him from getting money. It is very sad.
Thank goodness he has cut back my hours though (he probably realized how much I was costing to have around with my $8/hr wage). I feel extremely bad though that my 12 year old cousin is the one who replaces me when I'm not there.
:-(Deneb
Posted by Jen Star on June 28, 2005, at 10:30:58
In reply to Re: I'm so upset right now :-( » Jen Star, posted by Deneb on June 28, 2005, at 9:29:03
That is sad about your cousin. I know sometimes in family businesses, the kids take a large hit in terms of work hours!
Maybe your cousin could use your support - tell him it will get better, when he gets older he can do his own thing, etc. Do you think he hates the hours, too?
What if you put your foot down & said to your Uncle - "I understand that you need to make a profit, and that the margins are very tight. However, I'm disappointed in some of your choices. I'm not going to be able to keep working here unless you let me help make some changes. For example, I'm going to honor the cards UNTIL we put up signs stating otherwise. And we need to honor all the food codes and food violation codes, too."
Do you think that would have any effect? Would he laugh, yell, or just fire you? Would it make trouble with your mom & dad?
Sorry this is so difficult.
JenStar
Posted by Susan47 on July 1, 2005, at 12:14:49
In reply to Re: I'm so upset right now :-( » Deneb, posted by Jen Star on June 28, 2005, at 10:30:58
this is happening to you. You seem like such a good person and your uncle seems like a shyster businessman. The way he conducts business is the reason I rarely ever eat out. You did the right thing honouring the customer's meal card, I hope you didn't let this uncle of yours walk all over you. Why on earth can't you yell back at him when he yells at you? Is he physically violent, does he say things that hurt your self-esteem? Because he needs his self-esteem checked. He has no respect for anybody, I'll bet, unless they have a lot of money. Seems like money's all he sees in life. He's an unhappy little shyster. I'm glad you can see that. Can you talk to your cousin about it? Maybe you can save another person from becoming like him. What caused your uncle to be this way? Has he lived in poverty, is he scraping his way up or what?
Posted by Susan47 on July 1, 2005, at 12:22:42
In reply to Re: I'm so upset right now :-( » Jen Star, posted by Deneb on June 28, 2005, at 9:29:03
This guy's abusing everybody, cooking up bad meat, yelling at employees because they don't follow his unethical business practices, trying to pay less than minimum wage, making a 12 year-old work against their will. I'd report him.. but there's so many people like him, isn't there? There really is. And big business too, it's rampant in the world, abuse is everywhere. The little guy learns it from the big guy. It's true. And government sets a poor example. So who are you going to follow? If you don't have a good personal value system, one that's really strong, we're all liable to slip between the cracks and become abusers.
Posted by Deneb on July 1, 2005, at 18:33:47
In reply to For Deneb, I'm so sorry, posted by Susan47 on July 1, 2005, at 12:14:49
> Why on earth can't you yell back at him when he yells at you?
I'm usually not the yelling type.
>Is he physically violent, does he say things that hurt your self-esteem?
No, he knows he cannot directly direct his anger towards me...that is probably why he yelled at me over the phone instead of in person. He yells at his kids and his wife a LOT. I don't think he is the violent type. His wife (my aunt) just takes it all...she *seems* to take it all in stride.
> Because he needs his self-esteem checked. He has no respect for anybody, I'll bet, unless they have a lot of money. Seems like money's all he sees in life.
Yes, it is very sad. He's willing to sacrifice everything for money...he's too cheap to even buy fish for his kids to eat...he even buys vegetables from the reduced to clear section. It is not like he doesn't have money either.
> Can you talk to your cousin about it? Maybe you can save another person from becoming like him.
My cousin is quite mature despite his age. He has grown up to be a sensitive and thoughtful kid. He seems to have a lot of empathy for others, probably because he has had to carry the burden of being the oldest and having to help the family out with language difficulties etc.
> What caused your uncle to be this way? Has he lived in poverty, is he scraping his way up or what?
I think poverty has a lot to do with it. I'm pretty sure he grew up poor...as did a lot of others in China during that time period.
Deneb
Posted by Deneb on July 1, 2005, at 18:47:19
In reply to Re: I'm so upset right now :-(, posted by Susan47 on July 1, 2005, at 12:22:42
> This guy's abusing everybody, cooking up bad meat, yelling at employees because they don't follow his unethical business practices, trying to pay less than minimum wage, making a 12 year-old work against their will.
When I got really angry at him, I was ready to report him about making his kid work. My Mom explained to me that that was how things were...kids were supposed to help out. She told me of how she never had time for play when she was little. My mom had to help make boxes for her family everyday. The only time she got to play was when she took up the responsibility of carrying and caring for her baby sister. My mom was only about 10 at this time. I understand about the past, but just because it was accepted then doesn't make it ok to me.
It is not as simple as reporting him...their whole family would be affected...I'm not sure it would be for the better. For now my cousin seems to enjoy working. He works for 2 hours 6 days a week and will probably help out on Sundays. If I ever sense that he doesn't like helping his Dad out, I will see what I can do to influence his Dad.
I'm glad that I somehow developed a conscience. There are certain good things that I know are true for me. I know for example that if I find a wallet or purse that I would turn it in. I know because I've done it before. Before actually doing it, I could not be 100% sure that I would do such a thing...because *everyone* says they will do the right thing. I'm glad to report that the thought of keeping the money *never* even occurred to me. :-)
Deneb
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