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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 25. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Spriggy on April 2, 2005, at 16:34:24
I am just curious how many years everyone here has been married.
I will soon celebrate 7 years with my wonderful husband.
I married a man who had lived a good Christian life; never drank, smoked, did drugs, had sex (yes, HONESTLY!), etc..
I, on the other hand, did ALL of the above in my teen years which resulted in me giving birth to my son, almost ten years ago, right before I turned 17.
After seeing my son and holding him in my arms, I decided I needed to get my life straightened out.
I started going to church, surrendered my life to God, started college, began working in ministry and sharing my story to encourage teens to be abstinent.
Through that work, I met my husband 8 years ago.
I've never known a greater man with more integrity or character in all my life. He lives what he preaches (he is a pastor) and that is something I respect SOOOO much.
He adopted my son (our son!), and we had one more son a year after marriage.
Here we are 7 years later and I couldn't imagine loving anyone else!
So how about your spouse? how long have you been together?
Posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 16:48:42
In reply to Your marriage/spouse, posted by Spriggy on April 2, 2005, at 16:34:24
We've been married for almost thirteen years, together for almost twentysix. (And believe it or not, I was a virgin on our wedding night. A technical one anyway - grin.)
My husband has more integrity than anyone I know. He's brilliant and funny. I can't really imagine being married to anyone with less integrity, less intelligence, or less humor.
He's a hands on Dad who is loads of fun with our son, just as his father was with him.
He's not perfect. He expects everyone to live up to the same standards of perfection that he considers himself to have. (wink) And he uses anger to enforce that at times. (No physical or even emotional abuse. "Just" anger - and I have a greater than average aversion to anger.) If he could cure that one little flaw, he would be perfect.
But his faults are the opposite sides of his good points, just as with everyone else I guess.
Posted by justyourlaugh on April 2, 2005, at 17:00:14
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse, posted by Dinah on April 2, 2005, at 16:48:42
been married for 15 years..
he was my manager at a 50's restaurant..
best friends for a few..
5 kids later..(finally found out beer causes pregnancy)
who would have thunk it..
i hate him..
he is my best friend..
j
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 2, 2005, at 17:06:35
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse » Dinah, posted by justyourlaugh on April 2, 2005, at 17:00:14
what a good thread! I don't have a spouse but these are great.
Posted by 10derHeart on April 2, 2005, at 20:01:53
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 2, 2005, at 17:06:35
I agree with Gabbi. Great thread,thanks for willingness to share.
I have been married and divorced twice - second one abusive (enough said), but the first produced my fantastic daughter who is now 23. The two of us were just young and lazy and not willing to work out the problems...
I'm a huge supporter of marriage. My hope and prayer is be be married again. Very much because of the kinds of things Dinah and Spriggy wrote... :-)
Posted by daisym on April 3, 2005, at 0:05:48
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse » Dinah, posted by justyourlaugh on April 2, 2005, at 17:00:14
Married for almost 22 years. We married too young and have been too stubborn or stupid to give it up. He needs me, especially now. We have three outstanding kids. He was my first and only.
I can't help but wonder sometimes what it would have been like to have been with someone else?
Posted by annierose on April 3, 2005, at 10:04:17
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse, posted by daisym on April 3, 2005, at 0:05:48
Married 14 years, 2 kids.
No one makes me laugh harder or longer than my husband. Think David Letterman dry sense of humor. Very intelligent, extremely well read, but lacks common sense (especially with our kids).Sometimes I wonder "what are you thinking" and then it dawns of me, he's not. When the kids are upset, he is the one that can usually make a bad situation worse. His anger (and lack of control with his angry feelings) is the major flaw. I don't know why he can't simply TALK when he is upset about something.
We still try to go on dates with just each other now and then. And although he is supportive (100%) of my therapy, I think it's scaring the hell out of him too.
Posted by Susan47 on April 3, 2005, at 10:13:30
In reply to Your marriage/spouse, posted by Spriggy on April 2, 2005, at 16:34:24
Your story is really inspirational Spriggy. What you did to turn your life around is courageous and amazing. You deserve the wonderful man you have.
Posted by Susan47 on April 3, 2005, at 10:25:00
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse, posted by 10derHeart on April 2, 2005, at 20:01:53
I'm enjoying this thread too, reading about all the different types of marriages and trying to feel what it might be like. Some marriages just sound so wonderful. Really comforting.
Posted by Phillipa on April 3, 2005, at 17:59:46
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse » 10derHeart, posted by Susan47 on April 3, 2005, at 10:25:00
Married 10 years, not for the first time, to a man l3yrs younger than me. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 3, 2005, at 18:20:09
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse, posted by Phillipa on April 3, 2005, at 17:59:46
> Married 10 years, not for the first time, to a man l3yrs younger than me. Fondly, Phillipa
Go Phillipa!
How's the face?
Posted by crazymaisie on April 3, 2005, at 18:26:07
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse, posted by Phillipa on April 3, 2005, at 17:59:46
married 3.5 years. we have two kids, one before we got married, one after. my husband is the kindest, sweetest, most agreeable, loving person i have ever met. he is friendly and outgoing and sees the good in everyone. he's the kind of guy who cooks meals for a homeless person he sees in the street and takes it out to them and talks to them. when our son was home sick and it was his turn to take the day off, they turned the kitchen table upside-down and put a cloth on the end of the broom and put tshirts on their heads. they played pirates all day. they had a treasure map and drank 'grog'. he is full of energy and enthusiasm (which sometimes drives me crazy) he is so supportive of me and will do anything for me. he fought for me when i was badly depressed, pulled out all the stops and helped me to get better. he is the reason i want to be well (him and the kids, too) he is the single most important factor in helping me break the cycle of alcoholism and abuse and general dysfunction in my family. he is playful and fun. he teases me and sings me to sleep. i love him and he loves me. i wish everyone could have someone like him in their lives.
Posted by Phillipa on April 3, 2005, at 19:11:05
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse » Phillipa, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 3, 2005, at 18:20:09
Funny you should ask. I just took the chin strap off and my neck is swollen the size of a tree in the Redwood Forest. My husband keeps saying take a pain pill but I want to save it for sleep. I don't want to become addicted. Thanks for asking. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Dinah on April 3, 2005, at 19:24:15
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse, posted by crazymaisie on April 3, 2005, at 18:26:07
Posted by 10derHeart on April 3, 2005, at 19:49:44
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse » 10derHeart, posted by Susan47 on April 3, 2005, at 10:25:00
Yup, that's me, too.
Especially - I just realized - since 2 sessions ago my T. hurt my feelings a bit when this subject came up. He told a quick story about a single friend a bit older than me, who just went to another country as a missionary, and said she only needs the love of the people she's helping (and hers for them) to bring her peace. That any intimate relationship w/a man again in her life doesn't matter one way or the other to her. In context, he REALLY was trying to help, poor man, but tears trickled out steadily, and I told him (in a whisper) he didn't need to say that again. That I told myself way too often I'm too old, too fat, too *something* - the chances too slim, please don't reinforce it. Thought he was going to die on the spot. He apologized and got all flustered. We talked. It's (sort of) okay now.
Aaaanyway...what does that have to do with this thread? Just I guess I like soaking in all the good stuff. Realizing these men obviously like where they're at, so others would, too. Others now divorced, widowed, whatever. I don't know. I'm not ready to give up on the idea. But, at least I can live vicariously through these lovely women, for now .... Oh dear this is surely the most pathetic thing I've ever posted. Too bad it's accurate :-(
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 3, 2005, at 20:19:53
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse, posted by crazymaisie on April 3, 2005, at 18:26:07
Oh Maisie, you are lucky, but you appreciate what you've got, and that makes him lucky too!
It gives me hope when I hear stories like yours, thank you for telling it.G.
he sings you to sleep? That is just too much..
break my heart
Posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 3, 2005, at 20:21:51
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse » Gabbi-x-2, posted by Phillipa on April 3, 2005, at 19:11:05
Thanks for asking. Fondly, Phillipa
Ohh sorry about the Redwood effect! Just think in a few weeks your going to feel like a new woman. I was very curious because I think it's a terrific idea to give yourself back those ten years.
Posted by Phillipa on April 3, 2005, at 20:38:47
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse » Phillipa, posted by Gabbi-x-2 on April 3, 2005, at 20:21:51
Thanks. I'm glad you don't disaprove. A lot of people do. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Susan47 on April 3, 2005, at 23:02:00
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse, posted by crazymaisie on April 3, 2005, at 18:26:07
I've seen people have that kind of marriage. It's wonderful.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on April 4, 2005, at 11:06:42
In reply to Your marriage/spouse, posted by Spriggy on April 2, 2005, at 16:34:24
Married for 4 years. Have known eachother for ten. My first marriage.
Was married a year before I told a soul just in case we got divorced. I had MAJOR issues with marriage! Was terrified of it. Husband said if I didn't at last marry him, he would have to move on. The ultimatum worked. I can't imagine being with anyone else.
Posted by Spriggy on April 4, 2005, at 12:27:48
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse, posted by Miss Honeychurch on April 4, 2005, at 11:06:42
I have no clue where everyone else is coming from with their ideas on marriage but since I am a CHristian, I believe in what the bible says about it:
" the two shall become one."
Some people see that as a 'put down' becuase that means you are losing your own identity. I would beg to differ. Coming together with my spouse has helped me find a piece of me I never knew existed. His love has made me so secure and helped me accept a lot of things about myself that I saw as "flawed."
There is much to be said about unconditional love. Few people know what that really is. But I KNOW that if I were in a car wreck tomorrow, my face was burned off, my legs and arms were amputated, that this man would still love me completely and be with me until the day I died.There is such a security in knowing that.
In the past 3 months, I have walked through the most difficult journey of depression/anxiety of my life.
There were nights that becuase of the anxiety/depression I could not sleep. Not one hour. My husband REFUSED to leave me alone downstairs. This man sat up ALL through the night, right by my side, holding me, letting me cry in his arms, and praying for me.
Not once did he say, " well I'm tired now, off to bed I go." He looked me in the eye one night and said, " I will stay down in this pit with you as long as I have to. YOu will not be here alone!"
I have never known a love like that (other than God's love).
Don't give up on finding that kind of love. Ask God for it- I prayed faithfully for one year for a wonderful man. I even wrote down specifics in my prayer journal of what I was asking God for.
God delivered EVERY single of the things I sought Him for and even more.
Don't give up!
Posted by Susan47 on April 6, 2005, at 14:41:26
In reply to about marriage, posted by Spriggy on April 4, 2005, at 12:27:48
Now that is what life is for.
That kind of love is exactly what we have to give, we have it inside us to give that. Some people say that kind of love can only come from something called God, and for those people who believe they receive their strength from that source, it's true. And maybe it's true for everyone who can do that, I don't know because God doesn't fit into my belief system, but the fact is that many of us can actually give and receive selfless love.
Posted by anastasia56 on April 6, 2005, at 23:56:42
In reply to Re: Your marriage/spouse, posted by crazymaisie on April 3, 2005, at 18:26:07
Posted by anastasia56 on April 7, 2005, at 0:01:57
In reply to about marriage, posted by Spriggy on April 4, 2005, at 12:27:48
spriggy,
sounds like you have a man who cares as much about you as he cares for himself. How lucky you were to find him...or maybe god had more to do with it than luck, it sounds like.
ana
Posted by Spriggy on April 7, 2005, at 12:44:47
In reply to Re: about marriage » Spriggy, posted by anastasia56 on April 7, 2005, at 0:01:57
My theory is that my husband loves me the way that he does because my husband loves God the way that he does.
:)
But I can say this with 100% honesty, I have never known a greater man in all my life as the one I am married to. He is my number one hero.
This is the end of the thread.
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