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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by leo33 on November 24, 2004, at 17:02:49
It seems to me reading all these posts on the different forums of all the problems people are having, how you are able to survive and work with these problems? I have been battling Major depression, atypical depression, or bipolar, or personality disorders and some substance abuse for 15 years. I have barely been able to work and certainly have not been able to sustain myself for any long periods of time without my parents bailing me out. I am 37 now and working currently but feel that I will not be able to sustain it as usual. I seem to have a desire to do nothing and nothing seems important to me or I just don't seem to care but I do care. I applied for SSDI but they turned me down. I just don't understand where people's money is coming from since I have basically none? Help me understand, maybe I'm missing something. Thanks for your responses.
Posted by Gabbix2 on November 24, 2004, at 20:24:10
In reply to How is everyone surviving with money?, posted by leo33 on November 24, 2004, at 17:02:49
Well I can't help, but I understand your position, and your question.
I'm in awe too when I read posts on this site
because money doesn't seem to be too prevelantan issue.
I haven't worked in about 3 years, and right now I often go without food, and I don't have a regular phone, if I have either on a regular basis it's because one of my friends has been generous enough to lend (read "give") me money, or buy me cell-phone minutes. I couldn't imagine having a car or even being able to go to the dentists when I need too, never mind just "going shopping" for entertainment. It makes it incredibly difficult to get out of a depressed situation when life is like this.
Posted by octopusprime on November 24, 2004, at 20:49:54
In reply to How is everyone surviving with money?, posted by leo33 on November 24, 2004, at 17:02:49
hey leo:
i'm cyclothymic. my case is mild. the meds help. i probably would have difficulty working if my case was any more serious than it is.
however i have gone to work with depression, for months in some cases. but i'm lucky to have a certain kind of job:
* i have an office (computer) job, so just sitting at a desk and staring slack-jawed at a monitor all day looks productive (this is a biggie)
* i worked at places with flexible hours, so it didn't matter what time i showed up in the morning or if i had to take off for appointments
* i had good insurance
* my coworkers were mostly male and not the type to pry into my personal business
* i had paid sick leave
* the commute was not too taxing
* the bosses were hands off and pretty much left me alone to do the worki totally felt like a fraud doing all this, like i was going to get found out and chewed out. but as it turns out, most people are remarkably unproductive in the modern computer workplace anyway. so the fact that i wasn't actively screwing things up was helpful, and getting the odd thing done here and there on my good days was just a bonus.
ps - and when you get tons of crap done in the hypomanic phase, you look like a hero!!!
pps - the first job after a bad depression was the worst. i'm starting to get used to working and coping with my mood swings now. it takes a lot of work and practice.
Posted by Gabbix2 on November 24, 2004, at 20:56:08
In reply to work » leo33, posted by octopusprime on November 24, 2004, at 20:49:54
I'll certainly understand if you don't wish to answer this Octupusprime, but what type of work do you do? I'm curious because I think I could do that kind of work, I just never know what to look for when I'm feeling stable, and of course
then the ensuing poverty keeps me unstable.
I'd like to find something.
Posted by Dinah on November 24, 2004, at 20:57:37
In reply to How is everyone surviving with money?, posted by leo33 on November 24, 2004, at 17:02:49
My work output is wildly inconsistent, and right now I'm panicking about making my bills this month. I survive because I have a responsible and very productive husband who covers most of the necessities.
Between the lack of productivity and my spending sprees, I should be declared financially incompentent. :(
But again, I'm very lucky to have my husband. I'd never make it otherwise.
Posted by Jai Narayan on November 24, 2004, at 21:11:29
In reply to Re: How is everyone surviving with money? » leo33, posted by Gabbix2 on November 24, 2004, at 20:24:10
I had no idea how hard your life is.
I am upset now.
That you are able to keep up on this site is cool,
I have always appreciated you comments.
Where do you live?
Teeth and intestines are the gateway to health.Oh, god....Now I am worried.
You are so special to me.Should I just shut up?
What can we do?
jai
Posted by Gabbix2 on November 24, 2004, at 21:23:02
In reply to Re: How is everyone surviving with money?, posted by Jai Narayan on November 24, 2004, at 21:11:29
> I had no idea how hard your life is.
> I am upset now.
> That you are able to keep up on this site is cool,
((JAI)) Thank you for caring, don't be upset though. It's through the generousity of people I am able to keep up on this site. My computer is my lifeline.Yes, frankly my life is hard. I have about 75.00 a month to live on, for groceries, and everything. It's hard for me to believe that I used to just be able to go buy things, just because I wanted to, though I never took that for granted either.
People have been very kind and generous though and I've been saved from dire ( I mean that) circumstances more than a few times, it's wonderful, but at the same time it makes me feel so powerless you know?> I have always appreciated you comments.
Thanks!
> Where do you live?I'm in Canada,
> Teeth and intestines are the gateway to health.That's what my mom always said!
> You are so special to me.Aww Jai
>
> Should I just shut up?NO!
> What can we do?Just be there.
It's what's kept me going this far, and I have to believe it won't be this way forever.Thank you Jai, I really appreciated that.
>
>
>
Posted by octopusprime on November 24, 2004, at 21:26:35
In reply to Re: work » octopusprime, posted by Gabbix2 on November 24, 2004, at 20:56:08
i work in the software industry.
i got my first "real" job out of university as a almost as a fluke (i wanted a job in software, but i had never really thought about my current career path). i was unemployed for nine months (and seriously depressed) before i got my first big job.
i do have a bachelors (in math) and i worked in various occupations in the computer industry while i was in school. my school had what you in the usa call an internship program where we could do paid internships at various places. it was very useful. plus you got to quit after four months. :) i like to quit jobs.every job i have held in software industry was full of people that were unproductive, incompetent, or actively screwing things up. i found that for every one useful person in a company, there were 5-10 deadwood. so there's room for everybody in software :) as long as you can talk a good game and present yourself well during a job interview. generally bosses expect technical people to be eccentric to some extent, work with that.
sometimes deadlines and hours are a pain (ie you "have" to work long hours). i personally do not work overtime for more than a week or two at a stretch, and i take compensatory time off immediately (maybe not a full day, but i will work shorter days after working long days).
software jobs are lousy if you are bad at boundaries. i'm very good at saying "i've had enough i am going home", and i'm very good at saying "no i cannot do unrealistic task X in unrealistic deadline". when i say those things, i mean them. conversely, if i say i'm going to get something done, i get something done, whether i want to or not. fortunately i can just do what i think is a last-minute crappy job and my boss doesn't notice. :) i do get a lot of respect from my boss, and i'm good at what i do (notwithstanding my crappy effort on things when i'm in a bad mood).
anyway i have had many a day where i sat slack jawed at a monitor doing nothing. and i have had days where i ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. i think the industry itself feeds off bipolar behaviour, which is why the jobs are simultaneously great and terrible for me. sometimes i feel like bad behaviour on my part is rewarded :)
anyway i know fallsfall worked in software and she would have a very different take on this subject. i hate to speak for her though. like i said before though, i have a relatively mild case that responds pretty well to medication, and i also have hypomanic swings that help to get things done. so your mileage may vary, caveat emptor, etc.
Posted by Gabbix2 on November 24, 2004, at 21:36:18
In reply to Re: work » Gabbix2, posted by octopusprime on November 24, 2004, at 21:26:35
Thanks very much! I don't have anything to get me in the door, but it sounded good.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on November 24, 2004, at 21:47:08
In reply to How is everyone surviving with money?, posted by leo33 on November 24, 2004, at 17:02:49
Sad as this is I stay with my husband because of this issue...
Posted by sunny10 on November 25, 2004, at 11:39:26
In reply to Re: work » octopusprime, posted by Gabbix2 on November 24, 2004, at 21:36:18
another option would be data entry... go to work for a brokerage clearing firm, input trade data all day long...
Believe it or not, sometimes the more tedious the task, the easier it is to get through it without thinking about how terrible life seems sometimes when depressed...
And I forget who said it, but the extremely creative phases during hypomania WILL actually lead you to figure out more efficient ways of getting things done- just make sure you write it down! That's what will get you raises!
-sunny10
Posted by Gabbix2 on November 25, 2004, at 12:26:21
In reply to Re: work, posted by sunny10 on November 25, 2004, at 11:39:26
> another option would be data entry... go to work for a brokerage clearing firm, input trade data all day long...
>
> Believe it or not, sometimes the more tedious the task, the easier it is to get through it without thinking about how terrible life seems sometimes when depressed...
Thanks Sunny! I appreciate that.
Posted by sunny10 on November 25, 2004, at 14:29:46
In reply to Re: work » sunny10, posted by Gabbix2 on November 25, 2004, at 12:26:21
don't mention it... we are here to help each other, right ???!!!???
I hope that works out for you... Jump onto the monster.com website, I don't think that's its only for USA...
Posted by leo33 on November 25, 2004, at 19:41:31
In reply to Re: work, posted by sunny10 on November 25, 2004, at 14:29:46
Wow a lot of responses. Thanks for chiming in. I don't know if any of you recognize my handle as I have been on and off this site for many years. I just moved to hawaii in september to start a new job and as wonderful as it might sound, today I feel like just giving up. I pray to the lord to help me but i'm not sure if he'd bless a sinner like me thou I try to be as good a person as possible. I recognize Fallen4myt, Gabbix, Jai, octopusprime on this thread and hope you all have a happy thanksgiving.
Posted by Gabbix2 on November 25, 2004, at 21:18:04
In reply to Re: work, posted by leo33 on November 25, 2004, at 19:41:31
Your welcome Leo Happy Thanksgiving!
Posted by fallsfall on November 26, 2004, at 0:02:19
In reply to Re: work » Gabbix2, posted by octopusprime on November 24, 2004, at 21:26:35
Yes, I worked in software. Some software people are very competent, others are not so great.
There can be a lot of pressure in computer occupations (both software and system admin kinds of jobs). It is a very competitive industry - getting your product to market first is critical. And there are many times when programmers are asked (told) to get more work done than is possible.
My specialty was bug fixing - customer reported bugs, so my position had constant pressure. I liked that better than the cyclic pressure of deadlines, though. I would work as hard as I could, and as long as I could demonstrate that my priorities were right and that I was asking for help when I needed to I was fine.
But I don't think I can go back to software - because of the pressure. The pressure contributes to my depression. It's too bad, because it has been fun - I really like the work. When my depression isn't too bad, I can fake it well enough so that I wasn't really in jeopardy at work. But when things got bad, I ended up going off on disability before my bosses decided I was incompetent.
Gabbi, you have always impressed me with your computer knowledge. You seem to know a lot about system admin stuff, and you are good at helping people. You might look into some kind of tech support. Some tech support jobs are high pressure, but others really aren't. I'd be happy to talk in more depth with you about what you might look for.
To answer Leo's question, I am on SDDI and I work 10 hours a week at the local library. I was lucky that I was 38 before my depression hit, so I had a chance to get myself financially stable before everything fell apart. Plus my parents help out sometimes.
Posted by Gabbix2 on November 26, 2004, at 14:17:52
In reply to Re: work, posted by fallsfall on November 26, 2004, at 0:02:19
May I email you?
Posted by alexandra_k on November 26, 2004, at 18:19:09
In reply to Re: work--Wow thanks Falls, posted by Gabbix2 on November 26, 2004, at 14:17:52
I have worked for 2 hours per day Monday to Friday shelving books at the university library. That was a good job. Loads of people in the library had mental health issues and they were great about time off.
Then tutoring (about 8 hours per week) - though it is much harder to get time off there as someone has to cover for you.
Also odds and ends like compiling a subject index for a prof's book or something like that.
I couldn't work a 9-5 or 8-6 or whatever job. I don't make much, but I get students allowance which covers basics such as rent and tobacco and coke and coffee- and I get to keep any extra that I make.
Some days (probably half the week) I just muck around on the internet and check my emails and can't bring myself to do anything at all. But then there are times that I really get into it and I am able to be really productive. So I guess I am suited to the kind of work I do which allows me to arrive in time for morning tea, and allows me to bugger around as much as I like - so long as deadlines are met.
But then I am not well off...
But then I don't work particularly hard either.
Posted by fallsfall on November 26, 2004, at 23:29:50
In reply to Re: work--Wow thanks Falls, posted by Gabbix2 on November 26, 2004, at 14:17:52
babble fallsfall - it is a hotmail account.
Posted by Soulnik on November 28, 2004, at 11:58:21
In reply to How is everyone surviving with money?, posted by leo33 on November 24, 2004, at 17:02:49
This is such a great topic! I often wonder the same thing myself. I am barely getting by financially and have to get quite creative with finding ways to pay for my life. (Not to mention the ridiculous cost of medication!)
Maybe you can find work that is project based. Shorter term projects that you can see an end to are sometimes easier to push through when you find yourself slipping into a depression. Freelancing (or temping?) in some kind of work might be a good option.
I do freelance media work and do mostly short term production projects or teach video production. They pay decently depending on what I'm hired to do. Whoever said that the work is easier when you're hypomanic was so right! The good thing about the work is that because the projects are short, I can get through them and then take time off because I find myself in a depression.
That is all changing now because I am trying to use my media background in the social service industry so I need to work a more 9-5, full time job. I am terrified of this because I have never been able to keep this kind of job, especially since I haven't felt able to work in recent months.
Posted by leo33 on January 13, 2005, at 18:37:46
In reply to Re: How is everyone surviving with money? - leo33, posted by Soulnik on November 28, 2004, at 11:58:21
What are your creative ways of makeing money, as I need help in this area, how many people are on SSI or SSDI? I wish this thread did not stop and more people would chime in on how they survive financially?
Posted by Susan47 on January 14, 2005, at 16:52:58
In reply to Re: How is everyone surviving with money? - leo33, posted by leo33 on January 13, 2005, at 18:37:46
Well that was funny, for me, because I thought the subject line read "without" money.
'Cause that would be more accurate, for me.
This is the end of the thread.
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