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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Jai Narayan on November 25, 2004, at 18:12:39
I am walking on egg shells and red hot coals here on Psycho Babble.
I just can't seem to settle down right now.
Anger and frustration is taking hold of my emotions.
I find it way too deliciously tempting to break the rules.
I want to say things that are true, but risky on PB.I am angry about the rules.
I guess we all go through this?In the past I have pondered why (wonderful and interesting) people go right to the very edge and run.
it almost seemed like they couldn't contain their desire to say things that are not acceptable under the rules of PB.I am now struggling against these hard and fast rules.
There's so much I want to say that would not be seen as supportive.
I am so angry at my country.
So...
here I am.
where do I go from here?Most people either get blocked or take a break.
the problem is I love the people and see them as part of my life.
The other problem is I can't seem to contain myself within the tight band of SUPPORT....
SUPPORT ONLY.It used to be so easy.
I loved this site for this limit.But now I want to dialogue with these incredible people on this site about what I am facing and struggling with but....
I can't give it a voice.
I have to stand mute.
MUTE.I am gagged by my own need to vent this anger and have no forum within which to do this.
I am lonely now at PB.
I roam around looking for a connection and find It's me who's not connected to myself.
In order to stay here and be myself I have to be someone else.
my god, sounds cr*zy.As you could imagine I am quite confused.
jai the mute.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 25, 2004, at 19:12:33
In reply to walking on red hot coals, posted by Jai Narayan on November 25, 2004, at 18:12:39
((((Jai))))
I hear you.
Sometimes I love babble for the support
Sometimes I feel a little nauseated by it...
Sometimes I find the rules to be a comfort
Sometimes I find them arbitrary and unreasonable...Remember you can babblemail people with your views
They can be passed on if they cause offence
But some people might be more liberal
With babblemail.If worst comes to worst.
Run to Canada
Run like the wind.
Posted by Gabbix2 on November 25, 2004, at 21:09:24
In reply to walking on red hot coals, posted by Jai Narayan on November 25, 2004, at 18:12:39
> I am walking on egg shells and red hot coals here on Psycho Babble.
> I just can't seem to settle down right now.
> Anger and frustration is taking hold of my emotions.
> I find it way too deliciously tempting to break the rules.
> I want to say things that are true, but risky on PB.
>
> I am angry about the rules.
> I guess we all go through this?
Oh yes, well many do. I used to ponder what I would say when I finally had my "babble breakdown"
> it almost seemed like they couldn't contain their desire to say things that are not acceptable under the rules of PB.
>When I first started posting here, the rules were still fairly flexible, and the different topics discussed were so interesting. Still people who had joined long before me would occasionally talk about the level of conversation on the board having taken a downturn.
I now see what they mean. It seems the more strict the rules are, the more people leave and the less I'm able to connect with the topics that are left being discussed. They just aren't my style for the most part. It makes me sad.
And I get nauseated too :) Like Alexandra said.
>
> Most people either get blocked or take a break.
> the problem is I love the people and see them as part of my life.
> The other problem is I can't seem to contain myself within the tight band of SUPPORT....
> SUPPORT ONLY.
>
> But now I want to dialogue with these incredible people on this site about what I am facing and struggling with but....
> I can't give it a voice.
> I have to stand mute.
> MUTE.Believe it or not I understand. I still have a hard time with one ancient incident that I had to stayed mute about lest my anger make me look foolish and ruin any point I had anyway.
At that time someone had been blocked for 8 weeks, for saying something that *triggered* someone else.
The irony of it was that I was so furious that she was silenced with a block
and that I couldn't speak that I was triggered!
It was the first time I'd self injured in a long time.. all that anger had to go somewhere.
Before then I used to always think that *trigger* stuff was a little overplayed, but I saw then how it can happen.>>
> As you could imagine I am quite confused.
> jai the mute.Yes I can imagine, it's really difficult to feel as if you are denying your principals, your integrity when that is your essence. I find that much easier to do when there is a lot of conversation which interests me going on, I can concentrate on that and it's enough to make it worthwhile, but lately I've not felt too much of that.
Posted by octopusprime on November 25, 2004, at 21:12:50
In reply to Re: walking on red hot coals, posted by alexandra_k on November 25, 2004, at 19:12:33
it's ok to shout
it's ok to scream
scream it from the rooftopsI AM ALIVE AND I AM NOT HAPPY
you can say it jai
you can sayI AM NOT HAPPY WITH THE GOVERNMENT
you can say
I AM SADDENED AND SHOCKED AND ALARMED
you can say
I AM CONFUSED
you can say
I NEED HELP FROM MY FRIENDS
i'll stop shouting
you can also say
i wish things were different
i wish there were more kindred spirits in my country
i am frustrated with the turn of events
i want to organize to make change
i feel impotent
i feel like my voice is not being heard
i feel stifled
i feel like the democratic process doesn't represent mehere we can be angry
but here we can't accuse
it's ok to be sad and angry and confused and upset here
we all know what you're talking about jaimy mouth will never be shut. i will always talk about how i feel.
ps - you can run to canada but as a canadian i feel confused, shocked, and alarmed by recent world events. the fear and anger follows me throughout north america.
Posted by Gabbix2 on November 25, 2004, at 21:14:50
In reply to Re: walking on red hot coals, posted by alexandra_k on November 25, 2004, at 19:12:33
> ((((Jai))))
>
> I hear you.
> Sometimes I love babble for the support
> Sometimes I feel a little nauseated by it...
> Sometimes I find the rules to be a comfort
> Sometimes I find them arbitrary and unreasonable...Yes, that's about how I feel, right down to the
"a little nauseated"
I'm glad there are rules, I've seen sites without them, and couldn't stomach it, but I wish these ones didn't seem like they were implemented during a drunken board game.
"Oh caught Gabbi not using an *i* statement, roll the dice, Oh she gets a 3 week block!" "Wait you get an extra turn! roll again if you get a two that means double block time!
Posted by Bobby on November 25, 2004, at 21:47:33
In reply to walking on red hot coals, posted by Jai Narayan on November 25, 2004, at 18:12:39
the old saying? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Try not to take things too personal Jai. you are a gentle soul and I hope that you won't let things hurt you so. Most of what I post is in jest--I don't want to offend anyone at all. You are always going to have those on the right, and those on the left. They can only hurt you if you let them. Be of good cheer Jai!
B
p.s. Hello Gabbi! Knew you would read.:) How are you?
Posted by Gabbix2 on November 25, 2004, at 21:56:36
In reply to Do you remember » Jai Narayan, posted by Bobby on November 25, 2004, at 21:47:33
Żou know that I adore you, but I disagree with that childhood saying "names will never hurt me" words can be devastating.
I hope you have a very Happy Thanksgiving.
xo
Posted by partlycloudy on November 26, 2004, at 6:15:35
In reply to walking on red hot coals, posted by Jai Narayan on November 25, 2004, at 18:12:39
I am usually ambivalent about Babble. It brings me such strong support, and it can also tear away frgaile foundations. It's my own personal field of landmines. It's only with experience and friends around me who have trodden these paths before that I can learn where the safest and most effective paths lie.
The rules don't always feel like they are protecting me, but rather that they restrict me, cage me in as an animal in a zoo, to keep me safe and from hurting others. It's natural to rebel against restrictions. I have to trust that with any new rules constructed, their effectiveness can only be seen in the long term.
How about a troll free zone?
Trolls - go back under your bridge?
Please don't slime on the lawn.
Animals must be kept on a leash at all times.I still appreciate this place and try to look beyond my own feelings to how the greater community might benefit from the addition of yet another rule.
Posted by Jai Narayan on November 26, 2004, at 6:37:25
In reply to Re: walking on red hot coals, posted by partlycloudy on November 26, 2004, at 6:15:35
Posted by alexandra_k on November 26, 2004, at 15:04:26
In reply to Re: walking on red hot coals » alexandra_k, posted by Gabbix2 on November 25, 2004, at 21:14:50
> but I wish these ones didn't seem like they were implemented during a drunken board game. "Oh caught Gabbi not using an *i* statement, roll the dice, Oh she gets a 3 week block!" "Wait you get an extra turn! roll again if you get a two that means double block time!
Oh he he he you are too funny :-)
Mostly I think I understand the PBC's and blocks and requests to rephrase - but othertimes I don't and it seems just as you say!
I also struggle with whether everything one would want to say could be phrased in a civil manner, or if some things that one would want to say just cannot be and so shouldn't be said.
I think about that a lot...
Posted by AuntieMel on November 26, 2004, at 22:22:42
In reply to it's ok to be angry, posted by octopusprime on November 25, 2004, at 21:12:50
What a wonderful job! You expressed what many of us are feeling, but all said in a way that is well, well within the rules.
Thanks. It's a reassurance that it can be done.
This is the end of the thread.
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