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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 8, 2004, at 16:41:17
Who is alexandra_k?
And who is [insert real name here]?They do not share all of the same properties and thus by the law of identity they cannot be the same.
But that still doesn't answer the question, who are we?
'Superman can fly' is true
'Clarke Kent can fly' is false.
So Superman cannot be Clarke Kent.
But they could both be parts of some greater whole.
A greater whole who flies at times and does not fly at other times.Is that what it is like?
The greater whole is the sum of the physical body,
But different identities can be different aspects
Of the greater whole.I refuse to get bogged down in the personal identity literature of the 60's and 70's.
But the question remains:
Who am I?
Who are we all?
Posted by Toph on November 8, 2004, at 18:17:15
In reply to Who am I?, posted by alexandra_k on November 8, 2004, at 16:41:17
Of course Clark Kent can fly, his suit was for show. I guess the question is, which of his personas did he like better? Which persona does alxandra_k use on PB, the one with the glasses or the one with the suit?
-Toph
Posted by Jai Narayan on November 8, 2004, at 19:17:04
In reply to Who am I?, posted by alexandra_k on November 8, 2004, at 16:41:17
All my life I have searched for myself
in the lines on my palms
in the stars
in the psychology tests
in the face of others
in the mirror
always searching for a trace of who I could be
as the lines explain, the star chart lays out my personality
the tests show what I think and why
the face of others show love, anger, fear....
I am still uncertain
of who the heck
I could beJai Narayan
Posted by alexandra_k on November 9, 2004, at 2:15:54
In reply to Re: Who are you? » alexandra_k, posted by Toph on November 8, 2004, at 18:17:15
> Of course Clark Kent can fly, his suit was for show. I guess the question is, which of his personas did he like better? Which persona does alxandra_k use on PB, the one with the glasses or the one with the suit?
Hmm. I guess the example only works if we suppose that he needs the superman getup for his powers.
I don't think it is about choosing between glasses and suits... I am just not sure how alexandra_k fits into the picture...
Confused.
But then no more than I was before I came to babble I suppose :-)
Posted by partlycloudy on November 9, 2004, at 4:47:16
In reply to Who am I?, posted by alexandra_k on November 8, 2004, at 16:41:17
Finding out who I am has become the reason I live, breathe every day. To explore the mystery and contradictions that fill my life, to appreciate them for getting me where I am today, without bitterness.
I am who I surround myself with, who I isolate myself from. I'm defined by the world around me and how I see myself playing a part in it. I no longer see myself as a singular, biological unit, but a component in a larger organic being. It makes me feel less alone if I can hold on to that image.
pc
Posted by JenStar on November 9, 2004, at 10:12:56
In reply to Re: Who am I?, posted by Jai Narayan on November 8, 2004, at 19:17:04
Jai, your post is like a poem (again!) All of you, I love the questions you ask about self.
I wonder about that too. Am I the person that others see (do I even really KNOW what they see?) Am I the "secret" JenStar, or the JenStar I WANT to be in the future, or the one I was yesterday? Am I the sweet one, the cranky one, the intelligent one, the average one, the winner, the loser?
I know that everyone fluctuates day to day and year to year, but what is that tiny core that makes me still ME? And do I even like that core?
Interesting stuff...
JenStar
Posted by jujube on November 9, 2004, at 12:51:56
In reply to Re: Who am I? » Jai Narayan, posted by JenStar on November 9, 2004, at 10:12:56
> Jai, your post is like a poem (again!) All of you, I love the questions you ask about self.
>
> I wonder about that too. Am I the person that others see (do I even really KNOW what they see?) Am I the "secret" JenStar, or the JenStar I WANT to be in the future, or the one I was yesterday? Am I the sweet one, the cranky one, the intelligent one, the average one, the winner, the loser?
>
> I know that everyone fluctuates day to day and year to year, but what is that tiny core that makes me still ME? And do I even like that core?
>
> Interesting stuff...
>
> JenStarIsn't questionning who we are all part of our evolution as human beings, and what keeps us going? Questioning our existence and purpose in life is natural and cathartic, and, as stupid as this may sound, actually may be part of our purpose in life. Without the questioning (as agonizing as it may be at times), would we set and achieve goals, seek to improve ourselves, change our relationships, develop new interests? I remember vaguley an old teacher of mine talking about the hierarchy of needs, and how a segment of society in a particular part of the world (I can't remember those details since it was so long ago), worked hard to achieve all the needs in the hierarchy. Once achieved, they went to a cave somewhere to await their death. I guess, as morbid as this may sound, satisfying all of our needs and defining our purpose in life to an exact certainly is just a means to an end. The journey can be so much fun and enlightening and frustrating and heartbreaking, but perhaps it is more rewarding if there are few stones left unturned so that our purpose never comes to an end. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense.
Tamara
Posted by alexandra_k on November 9, 2004, at 21:54:48
In reply to Re: Who am I? » JenStar, posted by jujube on November 9, 2004, at 12:51:56
Wow, I guess lots of people worry about this stuff.
I don't really define myself relationally because I don't feel particularly related.
But then I don't really define myself atomistically because I am not stable or constant enough.
Whenever I come up with something I think is part of my identity I then reflect on how at other times I act contrary to that.
Perhaps I am just predictably unpredictable :-)
But then alexandra_k is here (and in the archives) for all the world to see.
In sum.
In total.
There it is.Don't know how that helps
I don't know if looking through the archives would help me answer that question...My T says that I am the product of my experiences and so by telling him about my experiences I am telling him who I am.
But I hate my past.
I don't want that to define me.
Please god.
Posted by jujube on November 10, 2004, at 7:56:23
In reply to Re: Who am I?, posted by alexandra_k on November 9, 2004, at 21:54:48
Your past does not have to define the person you are today, unless you let it. Throughout our lifetime, we grow, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. What we did in our pasts, is a part of the growth process. Sure, there are going to be things that we did that we regret and may be ashamed of, but that was the person we were then, not now. We are constantly evolving, learning, growing. Our mistakes help shape us. The hardest thing to do is to forgive ourselves for our past mistakes and bad behaviour and move on. I read somewhere that self-forgiveness is vital, and that only in an atmosphere of forgiveness can we have the courage to be who we really are. When we do not forgive ourselves for our mistakes, we encase ourselves in an emotional straitjacket, afraid to risk, create or feel. I think that during our lives, we change in many ways - our likes and dislikes, our passions and interests, our reactions to situations and people - but what I think stays the same and is a constant in our lives is our spirit, even if it does go into hibernation once in a while.
Another thing I read that touched a cord with me is that each day we can learn, from whatever sources inspire us, to love ourselves just as we are - unfinished and still struggling - and to live with our families, co-workers and friends as a kind and considerate equal.
Good luck to you. I hope you find the answers you are looking for.
Tamara
> Wow, I guess lots of people worry about this stuff.
>
> I don't really define myself relationally because I don't feel particularly related.
>
> But then I don't really define myself atomistically because I am not stable or constant enough.
>
> Whenever I come up with something I think is part of my identity I then reflect on how at other times I act contrary to that.
>
> Perhaps I am just predictably unpredictable :-)
>
> But then alexandra_k is here (and in the archives) for all the world to see.
>
> In sum.
> In total.
> There it is.
>
> Don't know how that helps
> I don't know if looking through the archives would help me answer that question...
>
> My T says that I am the product of my experiences and so by telling him about my experiences I am telling him who I am.
>
> But I hate my past.
> I don't want that to define me.
> Please god.
Posted by jujube on November 10, 2004, at 10:50:57
In reply to Re: Who am I?, posted by alexandra_k on November 9, 2004, at 21:54:48
This is my second post in response to yours. So sorry if I am being repetitive or annoying. I just wanted to say that, personally, I don't think my past defines me. I think it has helped shape me. But I don't think my past is a reflection of who I am now. I've learned from the things I did in the past, and sometimes the lessons were painful. However, if our pasts, with all the mistakes we have made and shame we have felt, defined us, then we would never be able to move forward and grow as human beings, as individuals. We would be stuck in old patterns, with self-defeating thoughts and bitter recriminations.
"Yesterday is irretrievable and tomorrow is unknown. Living in the moment is having the courage to live consciously, with awareness."
Tamara
> Wow, I guess lots of people worry about this stuff.
>
> I don't really define myself relationally because I don't feel particularly related.
>
> But then I don't really define myself atomistically because I am not stable or constant enough.
>
> Whenever I come up with something I think is part of my identity I then reflect on how at other times I act contrary to that.
>
> Perhaps I am just predictably unpredictable :-)
>
> But then alexandra_k is here (and in the archives) for all the world to see.
>
> In sum.
> In total.
> There it is.
>
> Don't know how that helps
> I don't know if looking through the archives would help me answer that question...
>
> My T says that I am the product of my experiences and so by telling him about my experiences I am telling him who I am.
>
> But I hate my past.
> I don't want that to define me.
> Please god.
Posted by alexandra_k on November 11, 2004, at 1:34:25
In reply to Re: Who am I? » alexandra_k, posted by jujube on November 10, 2004, at 10:50:57
Hi Tamara, I don't find your responses boring or annoying at all - it is nice to know someone reads what I write and thinks about it enough to respond to it.
I hear what you are saying about moving on from the past. I have done many things that I am ashamed of and that I regret but there is no point wallowing in that.
I guess that for me my revulsion with the past is a bit more than that though. I don't like to think of my family as my family. I don't like anything about my upbringing or my life - before I came to university. But then I guess I need to think that it is because of the bad experiences that I have had that I am the person I am today. I am sure that I have learned a lot and have many qualities that I wouldn't have developed if I had a more ordinary childhood.
I have been thinking about emptiness or hollowness a lot. What is missing? My theory is that most people internalise all the good vibes that were around them when they were children. Some people don't get to internalise that. Either because it is harder for them or because there wasn't as much of it around so that they could internalise it.
So now it feels like there is something missing.
Something broken
And I don't know what it is because I have never had it to realise that it is the absence of anything in particular.
But I figure it is love.
The absense of love
And the inability to internalise the love that is around.
Posted by jujube on November 11, 2004, at 15:46:57
In reply to Re: Who am I? » jujube, posted by alexandra_k on November 11, 2004, at 1:34:25
I know what you mean about the emptiness. I have been struggling with that for a while now. And, the sad thing is that my life has actually been quite fulfilling. A number of months ago, I was struggling so much with the question of what is my purpose in life. I am still trying to figure it out, but I think part of anyone's purpose in life is to live it to the fullest extent possible, to come into other's lives and perhaps bring them happiness or a helping hand and to treat him/herself and others with respect, caring and kindness.
My childhood wasn't your dream childhood. My homelife was quite volatile as we never knew when my dad was going to fly off the handle. He was never physically abusive, but his rages were frightening. Over the years, actually for as long as I can remember, my mom just disengaged. Really, as I learn more about depression, it becomes increasingly obvious to me that she has lived with dysthamia probably since I was about 8 or 9. Seemed that bed was her best friend, and that what little energy she had she used to protect herself emotionally from my dad's rages. I have never said this to anyone before, but I was ashamed of my homelife. I wasn't ashamed of my mom, because she did the best she could. I was ashamed because our house was always messy, my mom was always sitting there smoking, if she wasn't in bed and my there was always the risk that my dad would have one of his fits, so I didn't want my friends to come over. That's not to say that I don't love my parents, it's just that sometimes I find them hard to take. I know my childhood has shaped me, in some ways positively and in some ways negatively. I think I am more driven because of the high standards my dad had for everyone including himself. I think that I avoid confrontation and become almost physically ill when people start fighting and raising their voices because of my dad's rages. I think that I try to keep things orderly and neat because I never want to be like my mom in that regard. I have been shaped by my childhood, but it hasn't defined me. I think if it defined me, I would be a slovenly person with a violent temper. I am glad I am not. I just wish I had more backbone.
Anyways, I am sure that all that I have written is just way TOO much information, and I have now rambled on far too long. I do hope you find the answers you are looking for.
Take good care of yourself.
Tamara
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