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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by octopusprime on October 13, 2004, at 0:40:31
today i drank too much wine
today i'm on a hypomanic come down
today i looked at pictures of the people i used to love
and i still love them
and maybe they still love me
but it can't be
and i'm sad.today i thought about the people that i see every day
the people that tell me that they are endeared to me
and that we have a special relationship
yet now i am alone
and i can't call
lest we cross our boundaries
and break our bonds
and i'm sad.this morning i was a giant and i was on top of the world.
tonight i am small and i'm drowning in the ocean
and i'm sad.i'm sure i'll feel better in the morning.
but morning can't come fast enough now.
sleep take me
to a place
where i'm loved unconditionally
and i'm not alone
and i'm happybecause i am so tired
of being sad.
Posted by saw on October 13, 2004, at 1:13:16
In reply to feeling sad, posted by octopusprime on October 13, 2004, at 0:40:31
That's really beautiful octopusprime.
I hope you start feeling a bit better real soon.
Sabrina
Posted by partlycloudy on October 13, 2004, at 7:37:56
In reply to feeling sad, posted by octopusprime on October 13, 2004, at 0:40:31
Octopusprime, sorry you had such a rough ride down. It's OK to feel sad, it's OK to miss people we have loved. There are so many people I miss (like my ex-husband's neices - I was like a big sister to them and when I divorced their uncle they divorced me). I have put all the photographs away. I don't have many people in my life now, and I get scared that I'm not able to form friendships at all.
It's particularly hard not to have someone to pick up the phone and call to just TALK. Or someone whose place to go over to and just HANG OUT with. It gets me sad, too.
Take care.
Posted by fallsfall on October 13, 2004, at 10:51:17
In reply to feeling sad, posted by octopusprime on October 13, 2004, at 0:40:31
(((((Octopusprime)))))
I will help you climb into your warm bed, and lay your head on your soft pillow. The lamp sends a gentle golden light into the room. I'll give you a tight hug and then hand you your favorite teddy bear, and you can snuggle down into the softness of your bed. I'll pull the covers up and they will feel soft and cozy and warm, but not heavy. I'll smooth your hair away from your face and kiss your forehead. I'll sing you a soft lullaby whie I wait for your eyes to close before I quietly turn out the light and tiptoe out.
Sleep well, I hope that tomorrow can be brighter for you.
Posted by kara lynne on October 13, 2004, at 12:49:50
In reply to feeling sad, posted by octopusprime on October 13, 2004, at 0:40:31
So me too.
Said so well.
Posted by Jai Narayan on October 13, 2004, at 19:13:31
In reply to (((((((op)))))))), posted by kara lynne on October 13, 2004, at 12:49:50
My goodness it's been way too long since I've seen your name.
welcome back! We have missed you.
Jai
Posted by octopusprime on October 13, 2004, at 21:54:19
In reply to Re: feeling sad » octopusprime, posted by fallsfall on October 13, 2004, at 10:51:17
thanks guys
i needed a virtual hug and a hairpat
(and a real one too
but that's neither here nor there)for some reason the books and the articles and the reading is helping me today
forget getting work done
the beginning of goethe's the sorrows of young werther
where young werther falls in love with charlotte and lives a brighter day
in a world painted with rainbows and sparkling from the stars in his eyes
and rages against the trials of every day banality
to good old dylan thomas at the library
poems denying the dominion of death
and raging against the dying of the lightsylvia plath's dead babies didn't help
nor did bukowski's banal scribblings in a book he might best title the contractual obligation bookbut baudelaire
oh baudelaire
who lived as a drunkard
pissing away his inheritance
in gauzy and beautiful paris
the city of dreams and light
went up in smoke
in a swirl of hashish and opium
in a time when they weren't sure how to spell hash
the english translations don't do him justicesend me a book of the complete works of baudelaire
in english and in french
and i will learn french
and travel to the riviera
where i'll live alone under the sea
of drink and smoke
and wither in the countryside
whither the simple lifeand i'll write my pain in a book of poems
and life my life in a sunny inebriated dream
Posted by yoshimi on October 14, 2004, at 2:58:23
In reply to feeling sad, posted by octopusprime on October 13, 2004, at 0:40:31
hey op
i totally know that feelign. im sorry you are feeling so awful. ive been up and down myslef lately. i hope that you are feeling back up again soon. you are wonderful and i am sure that at least some of those people still love you.
i know that in my pile of photos there are some that do and some that dont. its so hard that nostalgia. i miss them too.anyway. take care. and you are a beautiful writer
yoshimi
Posted by yoshimi on October 14, 2004, at 3:00:12
In reply to (((((((op)))))))), posted by kara lynne on October 13, 2004, at 12:49:50
hi
nice to see you here too.
im just sneakin in and sneakin out.
yoshimi
Posted by kara lynne on October 15, 2004, at 13:27:10
In reply to kl » kara lynne, posted by yoshimi on October 14, 2004, at 3:00:12
Thank you for the sweet welcome, Jai. I hope you're well.
Glad you're a little better, op.
Sweet Yoshimi! Darn if I wasn't *just* thinking of you, I swear to the ninja turtle--I was looking for your addy, I know it's here somewhere...
Posted by yoshimi on October 15, 2004, at 22:17:18
In reply to (((Jai, wasabe, op))), posted by kara lynne on October 15, 2004, at 13:27:10
its yoshimininja
at
yahoo
dot
comyou sweetie, are amazing. i hope you are
doing well. i dont check that email to
often since i dont get loads of mail there,
but if you write and i seem to be under a
rock, then post here and let me know cuz
i read here a lot.yoshimi happy to see ya
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