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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 32. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 14:08:42
I have become aware of hurtful gossip arising from Babblers. If you have something you want to say about me, have the courage to say it to me. My babblemail is on.
Lar
All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
James 3:7-8
Posted by ron1953 on September 29, 2004, at 14:58:27
In reply to Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 14:08:42
Lar:
I did a reality-check before I first started posting. I knew that there would be people who wouldn't like what I said, how I said it or would simply think I'm a putz. I honestly don't care about their secret thoughts or gossip. If someone confronts me directly (hasn't happened yet but it may), I'll give their thoughts serious consideration and then decide if and what I'll do about it. Gossip is a fact of life, as distasteful as it is. Gossip in a non-private forum such as this is just plain stupid.
I don't mean to trivialize your feelings in any way. I realize your feelings are important. I hope the gossips realize how foolish their behavior is, and one of the consequences they'll face is not being taken seriously.
Posted by jay on September 29, 2004, at 15:11:43
In reply to Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 14:08:42
> I have become aware of hurtful gossip arising from Babblers. If you have something you want to say about me, have the courage to say it to me. My babblemail is on.
>
> Lar
>
> All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
> James 3:7-8
>I heard this rumour that this Larry Hoover guy was the nicest person on pBabble. The nerve, eh? ;-)
Hang in there Lar...you are as good as gold. :-)
Best,
Jay
Posted by AuntieMel on September 29, 2004, at 15:32:05
In reply to Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 14:08:42
Since so far only males answered.
Let me go on record as a female who hates gossip. Don't start it, don't spread it, occasionally listen just for fun, but consider the source.
Posted by partlycloudy on September 29, 2004, at 16:41:18
In reply to Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 14:08:42
I heard that Lar has a wondergirl girlfriend.
pc
Posted by verne on September 29, 2004, at 17:07:15
In reply to Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 14:08:42
Lar,
I gave up on church because the congregation thought gossip was a fruit of the spirit.
There's a quote (not sure if I have it right)
"Gossip is the art of confessing another's sins."
v
Posted by Jai Narayan on September 29, 2004, at 17:07:33
In reply to Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 14:08:42
Larry, what is going on?
Are you wanting to talk to the people who maybe chatting about you?
I hope you find what you are looking for.
I can't imagine anything negative being said about you.
keep us posted.
you're great!
Jai : )
Posted by Susan47 on September 29, 2004, at 21:30:51
In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Jai Narayan on September 29, 2004, at 17:07:33
Larry Hoover, I can't imagine anyone gossiping about you, that seems silly. I agree with what others've said here. You're fabulous! (From out here in Babbleland, which I suspect is self-created reality.) Ew ew ew. Somebody shut me up. Okay, in unison now, Susan shut up.
Posted by Jasmineneroli on September 29, 2004, at 23:38:39
In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Susan47 on September 29, 2004, at 21:30:51
Larry:
I barely ever come to the Social Board, and I really hope it's not a soap opera-y kinda place. Because Dr. Bob keeps on re-directing people here from the Meds board, when their posts deviate from their medicine issues, to cries of help or for support! That would certainly have a detrimental effect on those people.
And I CANNOT believe people would spread negative stuff about YOU! You are much too valuable to Psycho-Babble...all boards. Name names, and let me at 'em! I'm reducing my AD dose today and may need to re-direct any irritability that arises!
Jas
Posted by gardenergirl on September 29, 2004, at 23:40:26
In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Jasmineneroli on September 29, 2004, at 23:38:39
I know I hate to be the subject of gossip. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
warmly,
gg
Posted by All Done on September 30, 2004, at 0:55:18
In reply to Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 14:08:42
(((Larry))),
It makes me sad to hear you're dealing with this. I can't even imagine why anyone would say hurtful things about you. You're a wonderful part of these boards.
Take care,
Laurie
Posted by alesta on September 30, 2004, at 1:11:48
In reply to Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 14:08:42
hi, lar,
as i said in my (rare) email to you, you are like the nicest guy on the planet..you're so kind, have great integrity, are completely loyal to gabbi..please try not to let things that are out of your control upset you (easy for me to say)..wishing you happiness..amy:)
Posted by saw on September 30, 2004, at 1:28:53
In reply to Re: Gossip » Larry Hoover, posted by alesta on September 30, 2004, at 1:11:48
I must be missing something or it's just my ability to avoid gossip. I haven't noticed a thing. And even if I did, I wouldn't take part in it. Larry, you have helped me out on the alternative board and I have read ALL your other posts with interest and a lot with amusement. You are extremely intelligent, caring and supportive.
Dear Gossiper, take THAT and eat it!!
Sabrina
Posted by Emme on September 30, 2004, at 10:14:35
In reply to Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 29, 2004, at 14:08:42
Negative gossip about you?? Now that's just nasty, not to mention bizarre. I'm sorry to hear about it. It's gotta be hurtful. I suspect the gossip will eventually go away. You'll still be here and you'll still be you and anyone saying unkind things will have spent energy uselessly and accomplished nothing.
Emme
Posted by Larry Hoover on September 30, 2004, at 10:59:02
In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Emme on September 30, 2004, at 10:14:35
> Negative gossip about you?? Now that's just nasty, not to mention bizarre. I'm sorry to hear about it. It's gotta be hurtful. I suspect the gossip will eventually go away. You'll still be here and you'll still be you and anyone saying unkind things will have spent energy uselessly and accomplished nothing.
>
> EmmeI'm replying to this post, but I'm really replying to everybody.
Thank you for the support. I really need/needed it, and it's much appreciated.
I chose to confront the gossipmonger, and I have had a reply. We shall see where that leads.
Gossip is not an innocent act. The gossiper is a hammer. The gossip is a nail. And the board into which the nail is driven is trust. You can pull the nail, after the fact, but the board will ever more have a hole in it.
Gossip permanently taints relationships. There are those who would say that truth must prevail. That's a rationalization for injurious behaviour. Those who believe in brutal honesty, I suspect, are motivated more by brutality than by honesty. And those who pursue this honesty, but linger in shadow, are perhaps representatives of that darker place.
That childhood saying about sticks and stones, which ends with "names will never hurt me" is false.
We can all do something about the propogation of gossip. If there is something you would say about me that you would not say to me.....you have found gossip. Imagine I was listening to that which you might say. Apply this principle to all that you utter. What if X heard these words?
There is innocent gossip, certainly. And we all do it, talk about others who are not present. Please, gossip cannot be undone. Gossip can be like perfume, or the stink of gasoline. Get a little on you....a little bit goes a long way. It clings. The tiniest remnant comes back.
Lar
Posted by Jai Narayan on September 30, 2004, at 14:27:54
In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 30, 2004, at 10:59:02
> Thank you for the support. I really need/needed it, and it's much appreciated.
**your welcome, anytime.
>
> I chose to confront the gossipmonger, and I have had a reply. We shall see where that leads.**Glad you did that.
I appreciate you.
Jai
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 30, 2004, at 19:27:16
In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Emme on September 30, 2004, at 10:14:35
> I hope the gossips realize how foolish their behavior is
> Now that's just nasty, not to mention bizarre.
Just a reminder, everyone, please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by just plain jane on September 30, 2004, at 21:06:08
In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 30, 2004, at 10:59:02
Posted by Emme on September 30, 2004, at 22:21:32
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Dr. Bob on September 30, 2004, at 19:27:16
> > Now that's just nasty, not to mention bizarre.
>
> Just a reminder, everyone, please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.I just said it was nasty and bizarre to spread malicious gossip. I was commenting on an unkind *behavior* that Larry says he's been exposed to and that by most standards is considered negative and harmful.
This should be redirected over to Admin I guess. I'll look up how to do it for the next time.
Posted by tabitha on September 30, 2004, at 23:43:12
In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 30, 2004, at 10:59:02
Somehow I think somebody may need this about now...
Posted by Larry Hoover on October 1, 2004, at 11:14:33
In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 30, 2004, at 10:59:02
> I chose to confront the gossipmonger, and I have had a reply. We shall see where that leads.
I don't know where to begin, I am so upset.
The individual responsible for the gossip calls herself a protector, trying to "save [her] some grief". That worked so well that she had her mother take her to the hospital yesterday, and she did not return home. I'm sure she's overwhelmed with gratitude for your help.
And this, because you had a "feeling" about me? You said that you "coule (sic) have picked any name really" to include in your allegation. Of course, that's because there is no truth to what you have to say. Just your feeling. And because of that, yet another person is hurt, the name you picked out of the hat. Another innocent party gets caught up in the effects of your "feeling" about me.
You say you "just" wanted to save her from grief, and that you "simply" advised her "would be more power in ending things". You want to minimize the magnitude of your act. Why is that?
You see, if you really wanted to help, you'd have come to me first. You had no problem contacting me after I posted here. It's not like you didn't know how to do that.
I didn't say *only* come to me. The sequence of events, what you really did, does not fall in accord with your words. If you had come to me first, you'd perhaps have saved others from your unfounded allegations. I cannot begin to describe the havoc you have wrought in my life, and in Gabbi's. You cannot unring the bell.
Many people express affection for me on Babble, and I return it fully. Is that all there is to your feeling? Something like, 'That can't be good'?
Slander and libel have found their way into civil law because the taint of allegations cannot be removed. The remedies are not able to restore a reputation. The penalties do nothing more than make two parties hurt, and maybe make someone else think twice before they open their mouth.
I've been sprayed by a skunk, and now I stink. And there's nothing I can do about it. Thanks a lot.
I'm going to see my kids for the weekend. We plan to go to the fair. I hope they don't see me crying.
Lar
Posted by Susan47 on October 1, 2004, at 12:04:29
In reply to Re: Gossip, posted by Larry Hoover on September 30, 2004, at 10:59:02
You're very eloquent. I love that about you. :)
Posted by Larry Hoover on October 1, 2004, at 12:06:29
In reply to Re: Gossip » Larry Hoover, posted by Susan47 on October 1, 2004, at 12:04:29
> You're very eloquent. I love that about you. :)
<whispered> Careful....people might gossip.
Lar
Posted by Susan47 on October 1, 2004, at 12:08:39
In reply to Re: Gossipmonger, posted by Larry Hoover on October 1, 2004, at 11:14:33
Posted by Susan47 on October 1, 2004, at 12:46:57
In reply to Re: Gossip » Susan47, posted by Larry Hoover on October 1, 2004, at 12:06:29
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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