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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 42 to 66 of 76. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 13:31:42
In reply to What a magnanimous gesture (nm) » Dinah, posted by zenhussy on July 20, 2004, at 13:20:58
I don't like being bad. Enough people were saying we had been bad that I had to consider the possibility. I didn't really think we had been, but enough other people (and people I respect) thought we had that it would be silly not to consider it, right?
I feel no magnanimity towards someone whose posts caused me such pain. But how I feel has nothing to do with how I should behave.
I'll just avoid the d*mned board, that's all.
Posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 14:12:06
In reply to Re: Hardly... » zenhussy, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 13:31:42
*This is Crap*
Fires said she was leaving when she accused people of posting under multiple names, she wasn't driven away.
Everyone here is in need of support and a safe place so I'm baffled at the justification for punishing those who need babble just as much, if not more than Fires, and driving them away only to haul out the fatted calf for a poster who unapologetically says things like
"What you're saying is 90% ****"
It's not like there aren't plenty of unmoderated boards out there for people who seem to like confrontation.
Posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 14:15:02
In reply to What the Deuce???, posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 14:12:06
Posted by pegasus on July 20, 2004, at 14:15:59
In reply to Re: Hardly... » zenhussy, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 13:31:42
Dinah and everyone else who is having a hard time with the psych board:
I really hope you don't decide to avoid the psych board. That board has been such a great help to so many people, including myself, because of the participation of all of you. I know this is a really difficult time, and feelings have definitely been hurt. And it's especially frustrating when we all don't agree with each other. And we all need to protect ourselves. So, just know that I will miss all of you very much if you go away.
I would really hate to see the psych board reduced to a shambles by one destructive element. So, I'm going to promise to stick around. I'm not a great poster, but I try to keep up as much as I can. I seem to be immune from the hurt feelings if I don't post to certain individual(s), so I'm good to stay.
Also, I think that the center of this storm seems to be changing tack. And he did get a PBC. So I'm hopeful that we can get back to normal soon.
pegasus
Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 14:28:09
In reply to Re: Hardly... » zenhussy, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 13:31:42
I shouldn't have added the last sentence. I've never yet been able to stay away from Babble.
I don't know how to explain without making things worse... But I'll try one more time.
Being bad is the worst thing in the world to me. I'm not trying to be hypocritical in being nice to fires. Nor do I want any positive statements made about it, because my motive is just to not be a "bad girl". And I have a lot of mixed feelings about it, because I'm afraid it will hurt others, in which case I'll still have been bad even if I was trying not to be bad. Because standing by and letting people be hurt without doing something is very very bad. And doing something that makes it more likely that people will be hurt is very very very very very bad.
But being unkind is also bad.
It's confusing. But I'm doing my best.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 20, 2004, at 14:30:36
In reply to Sad about people going, posted by pegasus on July 20, 2004, at 14:15:59
I personally think that empathy, sympathy, compassion, curiousity, forgiveness, and turning a blind eye to an inciteful poster is more than enough kindness to extend. I think that this has been done already.
I think also that it's very telling that the Psych board gets its knickers into a twist (I've always wanted to use that expression in a post!) when a certain someone starts an incendiary event, leaving us all in a muddle and upset, and then gets the h@ll out of Dodge, and then, what do you know? comes back and does the same thing again!
I personally use the Psych board intermittently, but only because of my personal experiences with therapy - usually I just need to get something off my chest, whine, or beg for attention, for which this board is perfect! I'm not deterred from the Psych board by this bruhaha (another one I wanted to use!!).
pc
Posted by partlycloudy on July 20, 2004, at 14:35:25
In reply to Re: I'm sorry., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 14:28:09
Did you write for Abbott and Costello? And who's on first? (Couldn't resist!)
Dinah, you are a great person and it's obvious to all that you are a caring, compassionate Babble deputy. You are a champion.
Posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 14:41:03
In reply to Re: I'm sorry. » Dinah, posted by partlycloudy on July 20, 2004, at 14:35:25
I agree with partlycloudy (Partycloud) *giggle*
Champion describes you perfectly
Posted by karen_kay on July 20, 2004, at 15:05:17
In reply to Re: Hardly... » zenhussy, posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 13:31:42
are my eyes wrong? i clicked this post, thinking it was gabbi's! i swear on my life! when i looked up, i saw it was posted by dinah. and i'm still not disappointed. (not that i would be of course!)
and yet, my second reason to smile today. thank you ladies.... or, should i thank myself for being illiterate? no, i'll thank my middle school teachers for that one.
Posted by zenhussy on July 20, 2004, at 16:22:02
In reply to Re: I'm sorry., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 14:28:09
> Being bad is the worst thing in the world to me. I'm not trying to be hypocritical in being nice to fires. Nor do I want any positive statements made about it, because my motive is just to not be a "bad girl". And I have a lot of mixed feelings about it, because I'm afraid it will hurt others, in which case I'll still have been bad even if I was trying not to be bad. Because standing by and letting people be hurt without doing something is very very bad. And doing something that makes it more likely that people will be hurt is very very very very very bad.
> But being unkind is also bad.Examples of that kind of thinking are often used in books about CSA and the type of thinking that develops in survivors of CSA. Interesting. It is almost as if there isn't any way to be good enough ever with that type of thought process. Plus the mention of not being the bad girl really makes me curious as to why that is first and foremost the way to strive to be. I'm intrigued by the choices of words and the reasons for always seeking harmony even when harmony might not exist.
I seek no ongoing discourse but wanted to mention the things I found interesting here.
--zh
Posted by daisym on July 20, 2004, at 17:15:13
In reply to Seems I always have 2 cents lying around, posted by partlycloudy on July 20, 2004, at 14:30:36
>>>I think also that it's very telling that the Psych board gets its knickers into a twist (I've always wanted to use that expression in a post!) when a certain someone starts an incendiary event, leaving us all in a muddle and upset, and then gets the h@ll out of Dodge, and then, what do you know? comes back and does the same thing again!
HEY!!! I don't wear knickers (don't match the red shoes) and I don't even know where Dodge is. And, as I consider the Psych board "home" I'm not leaving either.
hmmm..knickers, now there's a thought for my sex homework. thanks for the help. :)
Posted by chicklet on July 20, 2004, at 17:23:20
In reply to Re: I'm sorry., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 14:28:09
(I'm Kar, from long ago)---
>>>> Being bad is the worst thing in the world to me.
and that you could never be..
I mean it.
you've been through this so many times in the past-
(every few months, it seems, huh?)You ARE doing your best. It's a challenging job. And your efforts are greatly appreciated.
Posted by chicklet on July 20, 2004, at 17:26:12
In reply to Re: I'm sorry., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 14:28:09
Your hair looks damn fine!
:D
Posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 17:46:38
In reply to Dinah--one more thing--, posted by chicklet on July 20, 2004, at 17:26:12
I thought for sure you were blocked for at least another year :O
Dinah's hair does look great though doesn't it?
Though I think Pink would be lovely too
Posted by chicklet on July 20, 2004, at 17:55:27
In reply to Well Look what the cat dragged in.. » chicklet, posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 17:46:38
Harhar, Gab.
Oh shit- I said "damn" in that last post!
Eek.>>>> I thought for sure you were blocked for at least another year :O
takes one to know one!
nyanyah
Posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 18:10:49
In reply to Re: Well Look what the cat dragged in.. » gabbix2, posted by chicklet on July 20, 2004, at 17:55:27
> takes one to know one!
> nyanyahI feel offended, and very accused, and pressured, and, and, put down, and I think you were being sarcastic too. Hey! You didn't even post on the right board Chicklet.
Posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 18:15:44
In reply to Re: Shell look at the fat dragon » chicklet, posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 18:10:49
We don't often both feel good at the same time,
It's a bit like being drunk or something
We'll go behave now.
Posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 20:09:39
In reply to Re: I asked Fires to return., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 8:12:44
>I'm sure you guys will give him a warm welcome and help him feel right at home. Perhaps you could protect some of the other posters at the same time, and do a double good deed.
Ouch. By the way, if you were referring to me as one of the posters who said you were bad, I never said that.
Elle
Posted by chicklet on July 20, 2004, at 20:21:20
In reply to Re: I asked Fires to return., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 8:12:44
>>>>I'm sure you guys will give him a warm welcome and help him feel right at home.
so many Babblers have been REALLY burned before. You know what I mean.
Dinah, bless you and what you're trying to do---but I don't think I'd be able to do it---
i KNOW I wouldn't actually. I wouldn't want to TRY. Not in the past "situations" or now. and every one has their needs. But you already know that---
take good care, dear...
Posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 20:54:09
In reply to Re: I asked Fires to return. » Dinah, posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 20:09:39
> >I'm sure you guys will give him a warm welcome and help him feel right at home. Perhaps you could protect some of the other posters at the same time, and do a double good deed.
I guess I just don't understand how to take this part of the post. I know it's *not* part of your personality to be mean.
Elle
Posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 21:12:38
In reply to Re: I asked Fires to return., posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 8:12:44
I think Dinah was directing that post to the posters who spoken out, specifically stating that they wanted to give "fires" a second chance, or at least have him/her feel comfortable at babble and was most definitely not talking to those who those who had reservations. Forgive me if I misunderstood Dinah.
Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 21:16:53
In reply to Re: I want to clarify Dinah..., posted by Elle2021 on July 20, 2004, at 20:54:09
As I meant exactly what I said. And every attempt I make to right this situation turns out badly. And following my therapist's advice to make myself vulnerable is just leading to more and more distress, as it usually does. I think my therapist is full of cr*p.
I'm sorry you think I'm being mean. It wasn't my intent. But I'm not going to clarify further.
Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 21:19:29
In reply to Sorry, everyone, posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 18:15:44
You guys are great and I appreciate your support. But I meant what I said. I don't think I deserve any kind words for something that was totally selfish. Not wanting to be bad is not cause for kind words. :)
But I love you all.
Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 21:20:45
In reply to Re: I asked Fires to return. » Dinah, posted by gabbix2 on July 20, 2004, at 21:12:38
I don't seem to be doing such a good job myself. :)
Posted by Dinah on July 20, 2004, at 21:50:27
In reply to Re: I'm sorry. » Dinah, posted by zenhussy on July 20, 2004, at 16:22:02
I'm glad you want no further discourse, because I'm afraid I don't understand what you said. I don't even know what CSA is. I did a google search, but nothing that came up fits in context.
But no need to explain.
My therapist thinks it's a good thing to make yourself vulnerable and be honest in the hopes of deepening a relationship. It works with him, of course. But I have only found it to work one time in all the other times I've tried it. I think he's full of cr*p, and I don't know why I keep trying something that really doesn't work.
People generally just think you're weird.
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