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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Emme on July 5, 2004, at 12:20:21
when you call your pdoc on her/his day off on a holiday weekend?
Posted by partlycloudy on July 5, 2004, at 12:24:07
In reply to How guilty do y'all feel..., posted by Emme on July 5, 2004, at 12:20:21
If i was in crisis, in danger of hurting myself or someone else, I would not have a second thought to call. We're not just looking for attention; we are looking for help to face another day. My T got mad at me the first time I saw her and told her I'd been in a very bad way since the last appointment. Often it's my p-doc who gets mad and tells me to call my T. They are all looking out for us, thank heaven.
Posted by Emme on July 5, 2004, at 12:34:45
In reply to Re: How guilty do y'all feel... » Emme, posted by partlycloudy on July 5, 2004, at 12:24:07
> If i was in crisis, in danger of hurting myself or someone else, I would not have a second thought to call. We're not just looking for attention; we are looking for help to face another day. My T got mad at me the first time I saw her and told her I'd been in a very bad way since the last appointment. Often it's my p-doc who gets mad and tells me to call my T. They are all looking out for us, thank heaven.
>Well, I'm not holding a can of poison in my hand. But then I'm *never* actually on the brink of doing anything, even though the thoughts may be swirling around in my head. So does that count then? There's no need for me to go to a hospital. But I feel miserable and I feel immature for not bucking up and handling it a little more stoically. When I'm having a bad mood, I'm not always sure when my needs take precedence over her need for private time. If I'm having a really bad reaction to a drug, it's more straightforward and I pick up the phone in an instant. Of course this downturn could be related to a change in meds. I don't know. I'll shut up now.
Posted by NikkiT2 on July 5, 2004, at 13:16:17
In reply to How guilty do y'all feel..., posted by Emme on July 5, 2004, at 12:20:21
the guilt hits before even thinking of calling.. so I never have.
We do have an emergency psych service we can call, but the only time I tried them they refused to help, so I never tried again!But neither my psychiatrist or therapist offer an out of hours service.. I can only speak to them during appointments.. we're meant to use emergency service outside those times. Oh the joys of the NHS!
Nikiki x
Posted by partlycloudy on July 5, 2004, at 13:19:01
In reply to Re: How guilty do y'all feel... » partlycloudy, posted by Emme on July 5, 2004, at 12:34:45
OMG if any one else ever tells me to Buck Up, I'll buck something, I'm sure.
I've got this nasty part of my head that's yabbering at me about "how sick is sick?". I've never been fully anything: not bipolar2 (I'm "mild"), not alcoholic (never missed work or was DUI'd); not having a panic attack (no one to whom I've said this has ever seen anything different about me while I'm "supposedly" having an attack. So I didn't mean to put you in a box or anything, just looking for a common ground. And i didn't mean to offend about at what point I would call my T, sorry if it did.
Posted by Emme on July 5, 2004, at 14:02:32
In reply to Re: How guilty do y'all feel..., posted by partlycloudy on July 5, 2004, at 13:19:01
> OMG if any one else ever tells me to Buck Up, I'll buck something, I'm sure.
>
> I've got this nasty part of my head that's yabbering at me about "how sick is sick?". I've never been fully anything: not bipolar2 (I'm "mild"), not alcoholic (never missed work or was DUI'd); not having a panic attack (no one to whom I've said this has ever seen anything different about me while I'm "supposedly" having an attack. So I didn't mean to put you in a box or anything, just looking for a common ground. And i didn't mean to offend about at what point I would call my T, sorry if it did.?? Good lord, you didn't offend me or anything! You were being kind and supportive. I'm sorry if I offended you. Did you think I was telling you to buck up? Ain't so. Have other people told you that? It sounds like you do exactly what you are supposed to do when you need help. I was letting my own guilt, self-flagellation, and bad mindset hang out and in fact hoping for more feedback from your perspective. Not a good day.
I don't know how sick is sick. It's all very subjective when I'm alone with my head. I think what makes it hard is the apparent disparity between what we feel and what we may be able to do. I went to a party last night and talked to people normally. You appear normal during a panic attack, but the attack is still there and you're suffering with it. My cousin said she was someone who laughed on the outside and cried on the inside.
Posted by partlycloudy on July 5, 2004, at 16:05:32
In reply to Re: How guilty do y'all feel... » partlycloudy, posted by Emme on July 5, 2004, at 14:02:32
No, it was just me being stupid. i start out wanting to be supportive; then I get scared and read what ever response as negative. Yeesh.
You weren't telling me to Buck Up; my husband has (as a joke?) many times, and I'm rather tender with that recommendation!
Posted by Emme on July 5, 2004, at 17:07:53
In reply to Re: How guilty do y'all feel... » Emme, posted by partlycloudy on July 5, 2004, at 16:05:32
> No, it was just me being stupid. i start out wanting to be supportive; then I get scared and read what ever response as negative. Yeesh.
I looked at my post again and it does come across as annoyed and pissy, so I can see why you might have had a bad reaction. It doesn't read the way I felt (feel), which was very despondent and distressed and uncertain, but not angry . I should maybe write "draft" posts and re-read them in 20 minutes before hitting "go".
> You weren't telling me to Buck Up; my husband has (as a joke?) many times, and I'm rather tender with that recommendation!
Ah, I see. That could sting, all right.
Posted by pegasus on July 5, 2004, at 20:12:59
In reply to How guilty do y'all feel..., posted by Emme on July 5, 2004, at 12:20:21
Well, my guilt feelings battle it out with my feelings of needing help, and most of the time guilt wins. But the few times I've called, I've felt so much better afterwards, if only because I knew he knew I wasn't doing well. And he's always been very very supportive at those times.
My T had a sort of built-in way of protecting his free time. He checks messages throughout weekdays, but not after 8:00 or so at night, and only maybe once a day on the weekends. So, I can always call and leave a message, and if he doesn't call back until the next day, I know he's stopped checking for the day, and that he's getting the time that he needs away from bothersome (in my mind) client calls. It worked for me, because I knew that if he called me back on weekends and nights, then he had time and wanted to. And I knew he'd always get back to me the next working day at the latest.
pegasus
Posted by Emme on July 6, 2004, at 9:10:07
In reply to Re: How guilty do y'all feel... » Emme, posted by partlycloudy on July 5, 2004, at 12:24:07
...this really was a great, helpful message. Just in case you were having any residual doubts. :)
> If i was in crisis, in danger of hurting myself or someone else, I would not have a second thought to call. We're not just looking for attention; we are looking for help to face another day. My T got mad at me the first time I saw her and told her I'd been in a very bad way since the last appointment. Often it's my p-doc who gets mad and tells me to call my T. They are all looking out for us, thank heaven.
>
>
>
Posted by partlycloudy on July 6, 2004, at 9:17:46
In reply to And you know... » partlycloudy, posted by Emme on July 6, 2004, at 9:10:07
You're a peach. I still feel bad about trying to help you in responding to your post and then falling into my trap.
Guess I still have a lot of homework to do, since it's clear I'm still afraid of my own shadow!
Posted by antigua on July 6, 2004, at 19:18:11
In reply to How guilty do y'all feel..., posted by Emme on July 5, 2004, at 12:20:21
Sure, I feel guilty, but my T would prefer I call instead of getting all worked up. My rule is that if I can't get it out of my mind by the next morning, or if it's so intense I can't function, I call. I don't have to live like I did as a kid anymore, there are people who care and the hardest lesson for me to learn is that I don't have to do it alone anymore.
I hope you start to feel better soon.
antigua
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