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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 1, 2004, at 17:16:52
In reply to Body issues at Work...advice please, posted by B2chica on July 1, 2004, at 10:30:25
Posted by B2chica on July 1, 2004, at 10:30:25
> well, this is JUST what i needed. You know how work clicks go, there's always rumors about someone...and there've been a few about me in the past (all just rumors of course). normally i don't give a cr@p, i know they're a bunch of gossipy ol'(w)itches so i just ignore them. But now there's a rumor flying around that i'm anorexic.
> This rumor is Really bothering me...it's hitting me the week i'm REALLY struggling with issues and i just don't need this cr@p. i know i just need to ignore it and it will go away like all the others. but i'm dealing with really sensitive body and sexual issues of my past right now and am VERY sensitive about MY body...(MY) body. and i don't want anyone even LOOKING at my body let alone commenting on it. The problem is i have lost about 6 lbs this last week but it's been cuz i haven't been able to eat much cuz i'm sick to my stomach with anxiety and all this stuff in my head.
> It's NONE of their business. why or if i am.
> like i said, normally i would just let it roll off my back and don't care but i'm so sensitive right now and i have so much anger inside i want to walk in and deck right between the eyes anyone that says Anything about MY body!
> I am SICK of people coming up to me and saying "IF you loose anymore weight..."
> i want to scream "SHUT THE F UP! and GET OUT OF MY FACE!"
> Please help me...help me through this. i need your help. i just can't handle this.
> it's MY BODY!!! (wish i could underline here) if i wanted to be anorexic it's Not their business ANYWAY, it's not like they Really care they just want something to talk about anyway!
> -i wish i could crawl inside my computer and just work with people at babble.
> b2c.
Posted by TexasChic on July 1, 2004, at 18:48:57
In reply to Body issues at Work...advice please « B2chica, posted by Dr. Bob on July 1, 2004, at 17:16:52
Man, there's people like that everywhere isn't there? Some are definitely worse than others. At this job I found out people had been talking about me (calling me a snob), and I don't even know who they are! I was like, okay, I guess I am a snob then, because I sure don't want to get to know them now. Of course it doesn't always roll off my back like that, its just this particular time I could see the idiocy in it and not let it bother me.
Have you ever tried turning the tables on one of them? Like saying, "Yeah, I'm pretty happy with my weight, but wow! You've really blown up. What's up with that?" Or just pick out any flaw and use it. They'll probably look at you like you're crazy but, who cares?!! You'd be giving them a taste of their own medicine.
Or, you could start a really crazy rumor about them, like they're all secretly lesbians and their husbands don't know a thing! (Lest anybody misunderstands, I have nothing against lesbians, I just figured those types would really freak out over something like that, and it would be pretty funny too).
Or you could confront them and say, "You know, its gotten back to me that there are rumors circulating about me, and its been said that its coming from you. I think maybe we better have a discussion about this. Let's see, should we have our supervisors monitor it? She'll probably back down, but be prepared to do it! You have the right not to be harrassed in the work place.
Anyway, some ideas just popped into my head so I thought I'd tell you. People like that are really pretty pathetic. I mean, their lives must be pretty boring.
Posted by ghost on July 2, 2004, at 7:29:52
In reply to Re: Body issues at Work...advice please » Dr. Bob, posted by TexasChic on July 1, 2004, at 18:48:57
b2c,
as far as i know, rumors in the work place are not only childish, but they're grounds for harassment as well. i agree with talking to a supervisor. but if anyone confronts you about the rumor, i'd be inclined to tell them that it's none of their business, that it has no bearing on your work, and you don't like to be the subject of conversation. stand up for yourself.
i agree. it's YOUR BODY. and even if you WERE anorexic, it's none of their business. your private life is none of their business. even if it was a rumor about who you're dating or what you wore to work the day before, it's none of their business. period. there's no excuse for immaturity.
i hope all of it blows over soon.
incidentally, i know firsthand how damaging rumors can be. a rumor started that i had performed a sexual act on my boyfriend on the school bus in high school. i hadn't done it. (at worst, we kissed goodbye.) it got to the point of where the faculty were gossiping about it. (I had become friendly with my spanish teachcer who told me this.) eventually, they called 13 students from our bus down to the office and asked them all if we'd done it and seen it happen-- and of course they had. including the student with an assigned seat at the front of the bus, when we sat four from the back. so by the time they called *us* down to ask us if we'd done it, it didn't matter what we said. we were each suspended from the bus for a week (a big deal when you live 30 miles away from school and don't drive).
from that point on i've always told people that they need to stand up for themselves and pick and choose what you want people to say. if it could have an impact on your emotional health, then this is something that needs to be addressed before it gets out of hand.
it's YOUR body. stand up for yourself.
((((((((((b2c)))))))))))ghost
Posted by B2chica on July 2, 2004, at 12:09:37
In reply to rumors: b2c, posted by ghost on July 2, 2004, at 7:29:52
Thank you all so much for your support. you just make me feel so much better.
you're just what i needed. feel like someone understands and not all ON me about this.thanks you.
b2c.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 2, 2004, at 19:16:16
In reply to Body issues at Work...advice please « B2chica, posted by Dr. Bob on July 1, 2004, at 17:16:52
Re: Body issues at Work...advice please
Posted by shadows721 on July 1, 2004, at 17:59:04
In reply to Body issues at Work...advice please, posted by B2chica on July 1, 2004, at 10:30:25
I am sorry you are going through this at work. I went through that at one time, but I was losing wt due to depression. I knew I was dropping wt too fast.
You are right. It is your body. It's odd, though, people do not usually say the opposite to those gaining wt. I mean they don't come up to someone and say, "If you keep gaining wt..." Somehow, when people lose wt, others seem at ease pointing this out.
Is the wt loss bothering you? If it isn't then, I would blow off those others comments to jealousy. But if it bothering you, I feel that going to a doc and telling him your symptoms may help. Anxiety can make people lose wt. Being nervous can make one burn a lot of calories.
It's just a gut feeling, but I feel what they are doing is reminding you of someone else. Somehow, that reminds me of an abuser too. They will stare at and make comments on one's body too. I don't know. Is there a connection or similiarity? I know you are angry at these nosy women, but you may also be very angry at someone else that did something similiar to this. What do you think about that?
The next time someone says something about your body, you could say, "Thank you for your concern" and/or "Why are you so focused on my beautiful body?";-)
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Re: Body issues at Work...LoL! » shadows721
Posted by Racer on July 1, 2004, at 18:36:42
In reply to Re: Body issues at Work...advice please, posted by shadows721 on July 1, 2004, at 17:59:04
Actually, when I was on Paxil, I gained 70# in about a year. My boss used to come up and pat my hip and say something like, "Better start watching your weight..." Ironically, she was quite overweight, herself. What's more, it was devasting to me -- going from about 35# underweight, to about 35# overweight? NOT something I'd recommend to anyone, but for someone with such strong emotional issues around my weight? HELL.
Of course, other than my boss and my family (same people who get "so concerned" about my weight LOSS) commenting almost constantly about my weight, you're right -- most people never said a word about my weight GAIN, only the loss.
Dunno about B2chica, but I think your point about it sounding as though someone else did the same sort of thing is probably pretty right on. Until you mentioned it, it had never occurred to me that my abuser used to say things to my mother all the time, for me to hear, about my body. I'd never thought about it before, but as soon as I read that, it clicked for me.
Thanks -- one of the best benefits of PB is that something you offer one poster may help others as well. Total bonus!
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Re: Body issues at Work...advice please » shadows721
Posted by B2chica on July 2, 2004, at 12:02:52
In reply to Re: Body issues at Work...advice please, posted by shadows721 on July 1, 2004, at 17:59:04
>>It's just a gut feeling, but I feel what they are doing is reminding you of someone else. Somehow, that reminds me of an abuser too. They will stare at and make comments on one's body too. I don't know. Is there a connection or similiarity? I know you are angry at these nosy women, but you may also be very angry at someone else that did something similiar to this. What do you think about that?
God, shadows721. i think you may be right. i even got chills when i read this.
thank you
b2c.
This is the end of the thread.
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