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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by partlycloudy on June 27, 2004, at 7:43:42
Dr. Bob has suggested I leave since I get so upset by the application of his guidelines.
My thin skin has destroyed my confidence again. Good bye to all my very good friends. You have been so helpful to me. This place is making me cry too much.
jyl has my email if anyone's inclined .
bye
Posted by Dinah on June 27, 2004, at 8:30:43
In reply to i can't take this for another day, posted by partlycloudy on June 27, 2004, at 7:43:42
That part of Dr. Bob's message wasn't meant for you. He responded to two posters in one post and the remark he made was in answer to the other person's post.
It's also a pretty standard remark on his part and doesn't mean anything personal, although I'm lobbying to get him to word it better.
Posted by gardenergirl on June 27, 2004, at 9:10:55
In reply to Re: i can't take this for another day » partlycloudy, posted by Dinah on June 27, 2004, at 8:30:43
partlycloudy,
I posted on psych board to your thread there. I'm sorry this is upsetting. When we last emailed, I took the liberty of adding you to my address book, so I have your addie, too. If you decide to leave, I'll stay in touch.Take care, sweetie,
gg
Posted by justyourlaugh on June 27, 2004, at 10:54:06
In reply to i can't take this for another day, posted by partlycloudy on June 27, 2004, at 7:43:42
sweet cloud,
i do not feel the doctor was asking you to leave.
how about a wee break.
i would hate to see you leave ,,you give so much of yourself to others here and that will be a great loss..
i am going to beleive you will be back soon..:)
jyl
Posted by antigua on June 27, 2004, at 14:53:09
In reply to i can't take this for another day, posted by partlycloudy on June 27, 2004, at 7:43:42
I don't want you to go because selfishly you have been so much help to me. But do what you have to do to protect yourself.
antigua 5264 yahoo
Posted by partlycloudy on June 27, 2004, at 14:59:46
In reply to i can't take this for another day, posted by partlycloudy on June 27, 2004, at 7:43:42
Posted by shadows721 on June 27, 2004, at 15:18:46
In reply to i can't take this for another day, posted by partlycloudy on June 27, 2004, at 7:43:42
((((partlycloudy))))))
I respect your feelings. I hope you will not leave us. Of course, I am very needy right now. I sure can lean on someone as nice as you. But, please, do what you feel is best for you.Shadows
Posted by TexasChic on June 28, 2004, at 11:00:15
In reply to Re: i can't take this for another day, posted by shadows721 on June 27, 2004, at 15:18:46
I'm so sorry cloudy! What the heck's going on?! I would miss you so much if you left! But if it is seriously causing you pain, you should do what's best for you. You know we all understand that.
But I hope you don't go. :-)
Posted by Angel Girl on June 30, 2004, at 8:05:17
In reply to i can't take this for another day, posted by partlycloudy on June 27, 2004, at 7:43:42
pc
I haven't been on the boards in a few days so I have no idea what has transpired. I'm sorry to hear that you're finding it very difficult to be here. I also wish you would stay. You have really helped me in the last couple of weeks. But obviously you know what is best for you and I will respect that but I hope that you will reconsider your decision and if you do actually go, I hope that you will return soon.
Take care. Hugs.
AG
Posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 8:15:12
In reply to Re: i can't take this for another day » partlycloudy, posted by Angel Girl on June 30, 2004, at 8:05:17
Well Angel Girl, so far I have only been able to stay away for 2 days at a time. At least my cool down period from freaking out is short! The main difference is that I just start posting again intead of "announcing" my return - who knows when I'll run and hide again (just a tad embarassing).
I have learned in this particular lesson to stay as far away from the Admin board as possible. I have this annoying tendency to take everything personally, especially blanket statements of guidelines having to do with civility.Sigh. Yet another project for my homework.
Thanks so much for your encouragement - people like you are what keep me coming back.
Posted by ghost on June 30, 2004, at 10:07:44
In reply to Re: i can't take this for another day » Angel Girl, posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 8:15:12
Posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 10:25:43
In reply to i'm glad you're still here. (nm) » partlycloudy, posted by ghost on June 30, 2004, at 10:07:44
You are so sweet! Thanks, ghost.
Posted by ghost on June 30, 2004, at 10:58:34
In reply to Re: i'm glad you're still here. » ghost, posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 10:25:43
Posted by TexasChic on June 30, 2004, at 11:22:23
In reply to Re: i can't take this for another day » Angel Girl, posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 8:15:12
I finally read some of what's going on, and it sounded pretty chaotic to me (hope I don't get a PBC for that!). The situation before the admin conflict would have been a clear sign for me to get out of that conversation fast. I see no reason to converse with someone who seems to be encouraging conflict. Especially if people have already tried and failed to correct the situation. I'm not saying I'm miss perfect and would have actually been able to stay out of it, just that I feel that's usually the best solution.
As for the admin conflict, I understood the jist if it, but found the whole thing rather confusing as a whole.
Okay Dr. Bob, if I said something wrong just explain it to me and I'll try not to do it again.
Posted by spoc on June 30, 2004, at 12:07:59
In reply to Re: i can't take this for another day » Angel Girl, posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 8:15:12
> ... I have this annoying tendency to take everything personally, especially blanket statements (of guidelines having to do with civility).
>
> Sigh. Yet another project for my homework.<<<< This seems like the perfect time to admit that I have that problem too, applicable to my own subjective sensitive spots. If you've ever felt that I was trying to say something but weren't sure what, it is that when I read people saying that the board is hostile or unsafe and there is really only one very likely issue going on that they could be referring to; and it's a thread I've posted to; I assume it is being said that I personally am bad for the board. Or amongst them at least, even if my part in it was meant to defend and support something about the board and posters (these weren't matters where I could tell where the majority stood, unlike the most recent one).
Like the phrase I recently coined says, "One man's unsettling/unnecessary conflict is often another man's doing-what-he-feels-is-right;" and we never want to think of ourselves as causing upset or being out of line when our own sense of right/something worth standing up for has been engaged.
Maybe no one ever meant me in particular as contributing to the board feeling unsafe or hostile, but I felt all devastated, hurt and urged to leave at those times, in what I would say is exactly the same way you are describing: taking things personally, especially if it's broad/vague and there's room to assume we are the culprit.
So I guess we have something more in common than in oppostion when it comes to this principle/reaction! But I tend to keep things in (which often hasn't been good for me in my life); or at Babble, try to address them indirectly, out of fear of expressing things right. The old move of keeping it at the level of general intellectual discussion rather than saying "I feel hurt," because sometimes that just does seem like it would sound *more* accusatory and confrontational.
Sorry if that has ever just created more confusion and made things worse. All I ever meant to say was A] I hope you (and other such threads) didn't mean me? and later, B] blanket references to the board feeling unsafe might hurt as much as whatever is being complained of, as people involved in the most likely issue may think it is them being referred to. Or should I say "I" -- I felt that way. (Now, in the lastest board uproar, there wasn't room for misinterpretation as to what was being identified as the cause. Even I couldn't read myself into being seen as the problem there!:)
Hope nothing about this came out wrong, I mean for it to admit my own over-sensitivity area; add possibly important clarity to my actions; and make something better! :- )
Posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 12:19:50
In reply to Re: I can relate to taking things personally! » partlycloudy, posted by spoc on June 30, 2004, at 12:07:59
Spoc, please rest your mind. I was speaking of a particular singular poster. Let's see... posted on psych, the poster made some sweeping critical remarks about a form of therapy that I have just started about which I was very happy and excited... and that poster's remarks INFLAMED me. It's doubly difficult that we have to talk in such nebulous terms so it's unclear of whom we're speaking. I have a fabulous talent in opening my mouth and putting my foot in it. All that yoga paid off.
Does that help? It's not you, spoc. Not at all.
BTW I have cornered the market on guilt, you're going to have to fight me for it, lady.
Posted by spoc on June 30, 2004, at 12:57:17
In reply to Re: I can relate to taking things personally! » spoc, posted by partlycloudy on June 30, 2004, at 12:19:50
Thanks so much, that really makes me feel so much better! In this latest thing I didn't think it was me, but there were a couple times I got involved in other things (once was someone posting a running theory that all emotional issues are our own faults; another was about Admin inconsistency), where some posted elsewhere that the board felt hostile/unsafe during those times, so I jumped to the conclusion that it was me or largely me.
I hope it has never been my part in anything going on that has made you feel uncomfortable! And I feel better already. But I just may win that oversensitivity title someday! :- )
Posted by TexasChic on June 30, 2004, at 13:35:05
In reply to Re: I can relate to taking things personally! » partlycloudy, posted by spoc on June 30, 2004, at 12:07:59
I just wanted to say that I have always found your posts uplifting and encouraging. And you have never, ever, been hostile or made the board feel unsafe to me. In fact, you are one of the people, including partlycloudy and others, that do make me feel safe on this board.
I wasn't involved in any of this, but if I may comment on it despite my ignorance, it seems to me that the problem surrounds how to deal with any poster that may or may not be malicious – without breaking the civilty rules. It sounds like a very precarious situation to me. I can see how it would be difficult, especially since we're usually talking about very serious, sensitive subjects when these types of questionable remarks are made. But I would hope that if a truly malicious person does find their way here, that it never makes anyone decide to leave. That would be giving them more power than they deserve.
I realize some of hurt feelings have to do with the admin thing as well as the actual poster. All I can say is I'm thankful its not something I have to make a decision on, and I hope it won't keep anyone from continuing to post once things settle down again. That would truly be a tragedy.
P.S. I tried really hard not to break the civility rules.
Posted by spoc on June 30, 2004, at 14:01:20
In reply to Re: I can relate to taking things personally! » spoc, posted by TexasChic on June 30, 2004, at 13:35:05
Thanks a ton, that is so good to hear! On the one hand I'll think, So I'm oversensitive and that's my problem to work on; but on the other hand it's always nice to just ask (and hope the answer is reassuring)! I really appreciate it. I have always meant well, but know it's probably often hard to even tell what I'm trying to say or why I think it matters!
And I agree with you that people should try not to hand over power in the recent situation. What Terrics just said on Admin about people leaving was very good too. The people who routinely get and give a lot here far outnumber the problems, and they are who "own" this place! Although I do see why it feels important to be supported on key matters by Admin, I hope the people who need this place will ultimately be able to look most at what they get from each other. (There I go again, spouting off things I'm not so good at myself!) :- )
This is the end of the thread.
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