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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by karen_kay on June 11, 2004, at 11:29:12
bean returns home one day to find the light on his answering machine blinking. he takes off his sweater vest (in 90 degree heat no less) and stops at the counter to listen to his message. he doesn't have caller id so he has no clue who would have called him today. he licks his hand and slicks his hair back, whiel the tape on the answerign machine rewinds to the message. he also licks his fingertips and smooths his eyebrows down. he's becoming impatient at this point. he's fixed his hair, taken off his vest and even had time to think about dinner, all while waiting for the answering machine to play his darn message (an uncommon occurence no less. his sister called 3 weeks ago, so who could be calling him?)
while waiting for the answering machine to rewind, he stops by the restroom, does his business and doesn't bother to wash his hands. he checks the answering machine once again and finds it stil rewinding. he decides to go to his nightstand and look at the lovely card miss honey gave him for christmas last year. the corners of the card are bent, from frequently opening it. he sniffs the card, trying to remember how miss honey smells. unfortunetly, he hasn't dusted in years and smelling the card causes him to cough. he opens the card (slowly bean, slowly!) and clears his throat. he begins reading the card out loud, pretending that miss honey is saying the words. he pauses a moment and sets the card back on his nightstand. he briefly considers buying a glass case for the card, but that thought is quickly replaced by thoughts of his message on the machine....
he runs into the living room and sees the light still flashing. the rewind phase is complete and it's time to hear who called him. but first, he needs a drink. he runs to the kitchen, sliding the whole way in his socks, and opens the fridge. he takes out his jolt cola and slams it, remembering his college days fondly. he lets out a large burp and moves back into the living room.
he pushes the play button and hears, "bean, this is miss honey. blurple die durble ach mmmmm...." oh dear, the tape is being eaten by his machine. and this is his chance to have a recording of miss honey's voice. he quickly smacks himself in the head and tries to think of what to do. he quickly opens the tape holder and sees that there is tape spewing out everywhere. now, beans no engineer, but he tries to 'finger rewind' the tape. no luck, the tape snaps and all hope of miss honey's voice is lost.
bean sobs for 2 hours and 23 minutes until he remembers the roast beef sandwhich in the fridge. he gobbles down the sandwhich and finishes it off with another jolt cola. now he must start planning. how can he get miss honey's voice on tape again? what can he do? why doesn't he pee all the time with as much jolt cola as he drinks?
he decides to call miss honey back. he knows her home phone number by heart. he calls, but no answer. he calls her mother (yes, he knows this number too) and there's no answer. he calls her work, again no answer. bean sobs for 2 more hours, until america's funniest home videos is on. he takes a sobbing break and laughs at the kids that fall down. he laughs at the old man who trips on a rake. he laughs at bob saget (who doesn't?). the program is over and he continues sobbing.
he then decides to tape record his next session with miss honey, so he can have her voice on tape. he's excited. he goes to kmart and buys a small recorder. he tests it out all night, and listens to himself sing "pour some sugar on me" several times. he knows how to work the recorder. he has a plan. he can't wait until tomorrow.
he goes to work. when miss honey arrives for her appointment, bean is glowing. finally, his chance to listen to miss honey talk all the time has arrived. after taking her to his office, he sits down and pushes the record button on his recorder, which is hidden in his back pocket. but, bean didn't learn where the record button is located. instead, he hits play and out comes his absurd impression of def leopard. miss honey is shocked. she's in his office listening to a reocrding of him singing. is this a hint? should she try to sit on his lap? shoudl she suggest voice lessons (not to mention better taste in music)?
the answers will come next week, once bean stops sobbing.
Posted by B2chica on June 11, 2004, at 12:41:02
In reply to bean's continuing saga....., posted by karen_kay on June 11, 2004, at 11:29:12
i think i love you kk.
Your Mr. Bean just makes me laugh...no matter how i'm feeling.
it also makes me feel a little better about my life and taste in music ;^)
Thank you for lifting my heart today.
B2c.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 11, 2004, at 12:48:41
In reply to bean's continuing saga....., posted by karen_kay on June 11, 2004, at 11:29:12
Posted by karen_kay on June 11, 2004, at 16:51:31
In reply to Re: thanks kk....., posted by B2chica on June 11, 2004, at 12:41:02
wanna get married? now, scott will say there's no such thing as love at first sight, so you may just be infatuated with me at this point. either way, i'll take what i can get! i'll just need to know how much money you make, if you have children, and what my ring will look like before i say yes...
Posted by karen_kay on June 11, 2004, at 16:54:34
In reply to And WHEN are Bean and I going to Outback??? (nm), posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 11, 2004, at 12:48:41
hmmmm, i don't know if i've ever been to outback. is it similar to texas roadhouse? they are both places that serve large chunks of animal for dinner, right? and, at outback, can you throw peanut shells on the floor?
i may have to do some research for outback. miss honey, i'd need your credit card number so i can dine at outback for inspiration. but, i think bean sounds more like an olive garden type of guy :)
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on June 12, 2004, at 19:02:05
In reply to Re: And WHEN are Bean and I going to Outback??? » Miss Honeychurch, posted by karen_kay on June 11, 2004, at 16:54:34
The Outback is a very classy joint which does not allow peanut shells to be thrown on the floor. And Bean would never be caught dead in an Olive Garden. He is a sophisticated and charming man who wouldn't dream of taking me to the place of the never ending salad bowl.
As for my credit cards, well, they're all maxed out Couldn't you use your famous magnetism and wit to get a free meal?
Really, Bean and I must end up at Outback with a couple of Jack and cokes and devil may care attitudes.
Posted by B2chica on June 14, 2004, at 9:09:22
In reply to Re: thanks B2c.... » B2chica, posted by karen_kay on June 11, 2004, at 16:51:31
>> wanna get married?
Absolutely! i've always wanted a guy AND a girl as long as you don't mind sharing? (everything....wink, wink, nudge, nudge.)>>now, scott will say there's no such thing as love at first sight
-why not...scott's welcome to join as well (if it will make YOU happy Ms.KK.>>so you may just be infatuated with me at this point.
-oh but Ms.KK it IS just infatuation, but isn't that the best? No expectations, No obligations? and Pure Lust...i mean love right?
>>either way, i'll take what i can get! i'll just need to know how much money you make,
-at least $3/hour, +tips! we're talkin' five digits here chicky!
>>if you have children,
not yet, but how bout we adopt cuz i don't want to get any fatter.>>and what my ring will look like before i say yes...
your ring??? i thought you'd give me one?? but don't worry, i don't mind cubicZ.B2c. soon2B B2c-K
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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