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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on February 28, 2004, at 13:33:13
You mentinoed that you worry about your husband worrying about you, me too. Infact i didn't tell him when i first found out cuz i wanted to be 100% sure when i told him (i just told him i had anxiety not Bipolar II). when my heart was racing or was all jittery and shaky my husband would look at me and say "just stop it, you can control it if you really want to." That was so frustrating! But he is a loving man and i think the things he's said have been from fear or the feelings of helplessness. I agree with you, i think unless you've struggled with it you'll never know.
-if you don't mind me asking, you mention that you're loosing your voice? Being in radio i would first think of polyps on you vocal folds, but i guess they'll be checking all that out when you see the ENT. However, IMHO if there is no general physical evidence i would ask if any of the medications you are on cause muscle constrictions specifically -dystonia.
BTW, feeling better today. This last week i felt myself slipping into depression, yesterday was bad but today i'm feeling ok. Maybe those drugs are starting to kick in a little?
B2c.
Posted by psychogirl on February 28, 2004, at 15:22:33
In reply to psychogirl...cont., posted by B2chica on February 28, 2004, at 13:33:13
> You mentinoed that you worry about your husband worrying about you, me too. Infact i didn't tell him when i first found out cuz i wanted to be 100% sure when i told him (i just told him i had anxiety not Bipolar II). when my heart was racing or was all jittery and shaky my husband would look at me and say "just stop it, you can control it if you really want to." That was so frustrating! But he is a loving man and i think the things he's said have been from fear or the feelings of helplessness. I agree with you, i think unless you've struggled with it you'll never know.
> -if you don't mind me asking, you mention that you're loosing your voice? Being in radio i would first think of polyps on you vocal folds, but i guess they'll be checking all that out when you see the ENT. However, IMHO if there is no general physical evidence i would ask if any of the medications you are on cause muscle constrictions specifically -dystonia.
> BTW, feeling better today. This last week i felt myself slipping into depression, yesterday was bad but today i'm feeling ok. Maybe those drugs are starting to kick in a little?
> B2c.
Hi again,I've never heard of dystonia. I think you know how it goes...everyone just chalks it up to anxiety and then medicates figuring that'll take care of it. I think the meds are making the dry mouth worse... When I eat, I literally can't form my "s" sounds for about 5 minutes because I have no freakin saliva in my mouth. But i will definitely get the ENT doc to check it out. I can't wait until my appointment. I hope it's the light at the end of the tunnel.
so when did you tell your hubby about your condition? And what is Bipolar II? I don't know a lot about anxiety or depression, which is funny because I've been struggling with panic attacks for years. In fact, I'm having trouble following the main board because a lot of the drugs are foreign and so are the conditions that a lot of people are struggling with.
BTW, what is hubby saying now? does he accept it, and try to help or does he say nothing? My hubby gets a funny look on his face, and he just seems sad for me which breaks my heart. It just makes me break down and cry when he does that. In fact, I cry a lot these days. I have 2 kids, 2 1/2 and 7 months, and these kids have seen mommy cry more than any kid should. It sucks...but I just tell the older one that mommy cries when she's happy. Do u have kids?
Tell me more about you.
psychogirl
Posted by B2chica on February 28, 2004, at 16:43:49
In reply to Re: psychogirl...cont., posted by psychogirl on February 28, 2004, at 15:22:33
Dystonia is a speech disorder that is similar to what you describe which can be brought on by many things (psychological, medications, stroke, TBI) One thing to do is prolongate your vowels (hold the sounds long) this is one was to see if it occurs. May want to chat with an SLP (speech-language pathologist). It's basically a constriction of muscles (your vocal folds-these muscles normally vibrate very fast but can't if their constricted causing the problems) some symptoms include imprecise consonants, distorted vowels, harsh voice quality strained quality,voice tremor, inappropriate silences, excess loudness, *voice stoppages, slow rate.
Sorry that was so long but i did my undergrad in Speech Path.Hubby is better today. He said some pretty harsh stuff when i told him but i know that was out of fear and sense of helplessness, infact today i brought it up to him and he didn't even remember saying it. (he took it back) though i think he's convinced that it's not a real issue. But i'll leave it alone for now. Partly i brought this on myself cuz up till recently i've been able to hide my depression from everyone including him. And he never thought much about my insomnia (he would always go to sleep before me so he never knew how late i would stay up). So really he's not "experienced" me at my worst. some have seen my hypomanic and some have seen my sadness but never both! -but i also have trust issues so it's not like i tell people what's going on either.
No kids...yet. i finally decided a year 1/2 ago to go back to school so if i can get through this year i'll (hopefully) graduate in august and then we'll be ready to start trying. At first when i got this label that's the first thing i thought about...do i really want to have kids now? should i? but Kay Jamison's book (an unquiet mind) answered that for me. it's a great read about manic-depression. And i have no doubts that i want children no matter what. But i will be trying it without meds, don't want to risk any unknowns.
Boy you've got little'uns how do you do it? i think as long as you are open with your kids you have nothing to worry about. kids understand a lot more than adults do sometimes.
Bipolar II. the DSM states depression and at least one manic or hypomanic episode. i have atypical depression (which means i gain weight instead of no appetite and i sleep EXCESSIVELY during this) also my cycle is backwords, most go from high to low, i go from depression to mania to normal(with anxiety of course). but i've also recently picked up the label of ADHD which there is no question about that one.
Sorry this was so long.
B2c.
Posted by psychogirl on February 28, 2004, at 17:34:44
In reply to Re: psychogirl...cont., posted by B2chica on February 28, 2004, at 16:43:49
Me Again. I took a little break today, and took the little one out for a walk. Couldn't sit inside on such a gorgeous day. That's a real bonus when you have kids.....you can't sit around and feel sorry for yourself. gotta move move move. So me and the kid got some fresh air, and I had a chance to do some thinking and clear my head and I feel positive about things. I always feel good on weekends, and then pump myself up for work on Mondays only to be full of anxiety all over again.
I have a question regarding hubby. How long ago did you tell him? It sounds like this is very fresh info that you just laid on him. How long have you been married? REgardless, it's great that you've been honest. What a shame if we can't share our innermost problems with our partners. I tell him Almost everything, but still can't lay it all out, because I feel it's too much of a burden for him to deal with. I think you know what I mean.
About the dystonia. I can't believe that you did your undergrad in speech. You're the first person I've ever spoken with who knows anything about this. Everyone looks at me with very confused eyes when I tell them about my throat. I'm so glad I came to this board. I only found it on Wednesday. I decided I couldn't do this alone anymore. I'm waiting to get into therapy and until then, just being alone with my thoughts was just too much.
Anyway, gotta run for the night. Rented a movie, and I'm going to have a stiff drink (eventhough I'm not supposed to). but sometimes you just gotta say f&^& it. hee hee
have a good one.
Posted by B2chica on February 28, 2004, at 17:54:19
In reply to Re: psychogirl...cont., posted by psychogirl on February 28, 2004, at 17:34:44
just last week i told hubby. i usually can tell him almost everything but the things i don't it's because i think it may make him hurt. Boy you know just how i feel about the burden thing. I almost feel protective of him in that manner. I guess i just don't want him to see the world the way i do, with all the pain and suffering and bad. Sometimes i feel so much empathy i think it's going to swallow me whole. even total strangers. (sometimes i swear i catch a glimpse of their soul and know what pains them...it aches.)
Been married 6 years.
-i love this board to. i think if i have nothing else i have my pdoc and all these folks. They actually give me hope that i can fight my demons and win.-hopefully you don't have a long wait for therapy, my first pdoc gave me a one month wait (fyi-they say on the average you'll go through 3-4 before you find the right pdoc for you-took me two...so far:) if so you might try journaling, i started doing that in jan. and boy am i glad i did. I think it helps me release my pain and confusion. it also charts your mood patterns.
-i'm heading home now too, think i'll do the same mmm... gin&tonic or import beer?
B2c.
Posted by psychogirl on February 29, 2004, at 7:24:34
In reply to Re: psychogirl...cont. » psychogirl, posted by B2chica on February 28, 2004, at 17:54:19
Hope you had a good night. You know it's funny, how you can feel positive about things one moment, and then totally anxious ridden the next. Once again, I'm obsessing about going to work Monday and losing my voice. It consumes me. My Celexa dosage is way too low, and it simply doesn't take the obsessive feelings away. I think I told you how my mouth dried out when they tried to increase my dosage, so they brought me back down to 20 mg, which is nothing. So every day before work, I pop 2mg of Ativan, and it relaxes me just fine. But the obsession is still there, which I think is really half the problem. My stomach is in knots just thinking about it, and I don't know how to control it except to just try to laugh it off. I tell myself, if I lose my job, it's meant to be. Maybe it would be a relief in some ways. Maybe I need to do a job with less pressure.Should I feel like there are some things that are out of my control, like my anxiety? Or should I believe that I can control it? I don't know. Either way, I feel helpless. Am promising myself that I'm going to have a great day with the kids.
by the way, i checked out dystonia. It scares the hell out of me. But I definitely have some matching symptoms. My shrink used to say that I have globus hystericus...or a lump in my throat caused by anxiety.....could this be almost related, or is dystonia purely a nervous system problem? I looked at some of the cures like botox injections to the vocal chords, and that freaked me out. I hope to hell it's a lot simpler than that.
Hope you have a good day.
Posted by fallsfall on February 29, 2004, at 10:33:11
In reply to Re: psychogirl...cont., posted by psychogirl on February 29, 2004, at 7:24:34
I have had medications cause dry mouth for 9 years now. Sometimes it is worse than others. I have a number of tricks that seem to help. Was the problem of dry mouth really worse than your obsessions? Maybe you can try to treat the dry mouth instead of decreasing the Celexa.
1. I always carry a bottle of water with me.
2. I use Biotene toothpaste which helps reduce gum damage from dry mouth (plus it has a really mild taste so I really like it).
3. Eating something (almost anything) helps - so I'll often eat a granola bar before going into therapy - it gets the saliva glands working. You don't have to eat a lot. Baby carrots are convenient, too.
4. I found candy to not be a good solution - too many calories, too much damage to the teeth. I'm not a gum chewer.
5. I always carry chapstick for my lips.Dry mouth can be annoying, but it is less incapacitating than my severe depression!
Posted by psychogirl on March 1, 2004, at 11:23:39
In reply to Re: psychogirl...cont. » psychogirl, posted by fallsfall on February 29, 2004, at 10:33:11
thanks for the info helenag. I don't know what to do at this point. the dry mouth can get so bad, i just can't speak without a lisp. I mean, how embarrassing. HOwever, I did buy a special dry mouth gum ( I think it's the same brand as the toothpaste, which I'll try too). I've cut caffeine out of my life for the last 2 weeks as well. So a lot of things are happening at once.
But I have an appointment with an ENT specialist tomorrow, and I just gotta call from the anxiety clinic and they can fight me in for my first appointment thursday. I can't wait. It's turning out to be a great day.
thanks again.
Posted by B2chica on March 1, 2004, at 12:06:34
In reply to Re: psychogirl...cont., posted by psychogirl on February 29, 2004, at 7:24:34
Sorry psychogirl, didn't mean to scare you. This is not necessarily a permanent thing or something that needs lots of invasive treatment. It could just be brought on by medications or your anxiety alone could do it.
I know just what you mean, seeing things good one day and not the next. But i do agree 100% with that if you do loose this job that just means you weren't meant to work there anymore that something better is out there. Don't worry, all will work out as planned.
BTW, have you mentioned to your doc about the obsessive thoughts? i'm not familiar with celexa but maybe there's a different drug that you should be taking either along with or instead of that that will help. I have OCD also and the zyprexa seems to help with that.(though i don't think that's a drug for you.)
Bye for now.
B2c.
Posted by psychogirl on March 1, 2004, at 17:26:12
In reply to Re: psychogirl...cont. » psychogirl, posted by B2chica on March 1, 2004, at 12:06:34
Thanks for the tips on the meds. I will definitely check it out. I've felt for the last few weeks that I'm on the wrong drug. I was on Paxil a couple of years ago, and that took away the obsession, but it also gave me some crazy gas. My hubby was mortified by the sounds that were coming out of my body :)
Anyway, good news. NOt only do I have my ENT doc tomorrow, but now the anxiety clinic has squeezed me in for thursday for my first appointment. My doc insists the 4 week wait was worth it because they are the best. i am so pumped up. And I even had a good day at work. I was at about 95%. i sounded damn good. weird huh? I think the difference was that before I went to bed, I popped 2mg of ativan and then popped another first thing in the morning. Didn't feel an ounce of anxiety. Maybe the key is relaxation at night too. I'm so wound up about work when I'm there, maybe I'm just not preparing for the day properly. Anyway, love the ativan.
HOpe you had a great day too.
This is the end of the thread.
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