![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by All Done on January 26, 2004, at 12:04:49
I'm sorry - I don't mean to only post when I'm feeling bad, but I just haven't had much motivation to post otherwise lately.
I'm feeling so terrible I could cry. I dread going to work every day. I get a pit in my stomach that doesn't go away until 5:30 and then I don't want to go to sleep at night because the next morning will come even faster. I hate my job and I hate my career.
My husband and I have our first therapy session with my mom on Thursday. I'm so nervous about it I wish I could just cancel. But that would just be putting off the inevitable, I suppose.
Then, I start feeling guilty about being depressed because I think to myself I have a husband who regularly suggests I get massages and take bubble baths, a beautiful son that knows nothing is wrong with the world except the fact that Elmo isn't on TV 24/7 and friends who rival Beefcake in the support and compassion departments (not to mention I have Beefcake himself). I really shouldn't feel so bad, but the fact remains, I do.
Once again, thanks for listening. I hope you guys don't mind.
All Done
Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2004, at 12:10:27
In reply to Another Monday, posted by All Done on January 26, 2004, at 12:04:49
Of course we don't mind. I'm sorry you are so unhappy with your job. That seems to be a theme today. Can you ever take a mental health day?
And I highly recommend the massages. My husband tolerates me getting them monthly even though it seems a little extravagant.Take care!
gg
Posted by All Done on January 26, 2004, at 12:28:25
In reply to Re: Another Monday, posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2004, at 12:10:27
> Of course we don't mind. I'm sorry you are so unhappy with your job. That seems to be a theme today. Can you ever take a mental health day?
> And I highly recommend the massages. My husband tolerates me getting them monthly even though it seems a little extravagant.
>
> Take care!
> ggUnfortunately, I took a mental health day last week and I just have too much to do, which is part of the problem. I'm so overwhelmed with too much work to get done, too little time to do it. (Yet here I am posting and not working, ugh. Mental health break instead of day, I guess.)
I haven't had a massage in about six months. Maybe I'll schedule one for Saturday after all of my therapy appointments for the week. Hmm, a slightly different take on needing therapy for therapy.
Thanks for your support. I really appreciate it.
Posted by Karen_kay on January 26, 2004, at 12:50:33
In reply to Re: Another Monday » gardenergirl, posted by All Done on January 26, 2004, at 12:28:25
Ahhh.... I'm sorry you're feeling bad...
((((((((All Done))))))))
A SuPeR BiG HuG FoR YoU!!!!Is there anything you can do at work to make it improve? I know that sometimes work sucks and there's nothing you can do to make it better. So, is finding another job an option?
If not, then working on yourself is a GREAT place to start. Once you feel better aobut yourself, your situation, and your life, you'll be able to handle a job that sucks much better.
Also, at night is there anything you can do to calm down or relax? Deep breathing or anything like that? At the very least, try listening to some relaxing music while taking your bubble bath. It may help to soothe you. And try to live more in the moment. Don't dread work the next day. Remember, if you live your life dreading what's coming up, then you just live your life in dread, right? (Not to sound preachy or anything....Sorry if it comes across that way :)) But, take advantage of your off-time. And try to do something relaxing with it.
If you have too much work to get done, can you break it up into smaller bits that you can handle? One piece at a time. I think as you begin to see progress, it'll get better as well. And in all aspects. Not just work.
When I had a session with my boyfriend and my therapist, I was terrified! I tried to coach my boyfriend on what he could and couldn't discuss :) (Yes, I'm like that!!) Well, it didn't work out that way. But, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. It's kinda funny how all (you, me elle) of us are going through a down-time right now...Coincidence?? But, I'm pulling myself up and out of this :)
Things'll (huh? is that a word?) get better hun! I'm pulling for you! You want me to go out there and work for you this week? I'll do it if it makes you feel better...OK??? :)
Posted by All Done on January 26, 2004, at 13:39:04
In reply to Re: Another Monday » All Done, posted by Karen_kay on January 26, 2004, at 12:50:33
Ahhh.... I'm sorry you're feeling bad...
((((((((All Done))))))))
A SuPeR BiG HuG FoR YoU!!!!Is there anything you can do at work to make it improve? I know that sometimes work sucks and there's nothing you can do to make it better. So, is finding another job an option?
>>I've been looking for a different job for a while. At the moment, the market is just not that great for what I do. I'm still going to keep looking though. I'm also trying to decide if a career change would be manageable, but I don't really know what I'd want to do. Beefcake suggested that I let things "sit" for a while maybe instead of trying to force the ideas to come.
If not, then working on yourself is a GREAT place to start. Once you feel better aobut yourself, your situation, and your life, you'll be able to handle a job that sucks much better.
>>I know. I totally agree with you, but it takes so much time and I'm usually all about instant gratification.
Also, at night is there anything you can do to calm down or relax? Deep breathing or anything like that? At the very least, try listening to some relaxing music while taking your bubble bath. It may help to soothe you. And try to live more in the moment. Don't dread work the next day. Remember, if you live your life dreading what's coming up, then you just live your life in dread, right? (Not to sound preachy or anything....Sorry if it comes across that way :)) But, take advantage of your off-time. And try to do something relaxing with it.
>>You're not preachy. Thanks for reminding me. My husband is out this evening, so I'm going to enjoy every minute I have my little guy all to myself. He likes to color - maybe I'll color with him.
If you have too much work to get done, can you break it up into smaller bits that you can handle? One piece at a time. I think as you begin to see progress, it'll get better as well. And in all aspects. Not just work.>>Good suggestion - I just read this and got one thing done that will please my client. I have a call with them in a half an hour so at least I have one good thing to tell them and that means less dread for me.
When I had a session with my boyfriend and my therapist, I was terrified! I tried to coach my boyfriend on what he could and couldn't discuss :) (Yes, I'm like that!!) Well, it didn't work out that way. But, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. It's kinda funny how all (you, me elle) of us are going through a down-time right now...Coincidence?? But, I'm pulling myself up and out of this :)>>I know I've felt kind of bad that I haven't been able to give you guys a lot of support. Although I've kind of noticed that I don't really have a lot of faith in my ability to make you guys feel any better. It's been easy for me to laugh and make jokes, but I always worry that I'm saying the wrong things to you guys when I'm trying to be serious and help out. But I digress...
Things'll (huh? is that a word?) get better hun! I'm pulling for you! You want me to go out there and work for you this week? I'll do it if it makes you feel better...OK??? :)
>>Thank you so much for your kind words and I will be thinking of you bright and early on Wednesday. No matter what anyone says, I have faith that you and Bubba can work through everything and you will both learn and grow from it. (Silly man, though, why does he have to use your time to do his learning and growing? ; ))Oh, and I must add that Beefcake had a fashion disaster on Saturday and I didn't quite know what to do. I saw him walk in the building and he seemed a bit rushed. He had me waiting a bit and that was odd. When we got to the office and sat down, he was kind of adjusting his shirt and I realized he was buttoning one of his bottom buttons. Okay, seemed strange. Did you just roll out of bed and come here, Beefcake? Or perhaps you had to change out of your Miami Vice pastel dress shirt and white linen jacket before you saw me. Well, then, I looked at his shirt and noticed his third button was not buttoned either. I didn't tell him, but I obsessed about it the entire hour. Funny thing, though, I thought to myself, Karen would probably tell Bubba if his shirt was unbuttoned : ).
Posted by Catmom on January 26, 2004, at 13:50:16
In reply to Another Monday, posted by All Done on January 26, 2004, at 12:04:49
I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. Yes, Mondays can be very rough especially when the job/career is not gratifying at all.
I also want to urge you not to lay a guilt-trip on yourself for feeling bad when you have so many good people/things in your life. It's great that you do have the good, but that cannot automatically make for a bright, shiny, happy life.
And if your feelings about work are interfering with your sleep, of course that ends up aggravating the situation and bringing in yet another problem.
I am so very sorry. Are there any other job/career options for you? I know that it's not the best time in US history to look for new employment. Take good care of yourself, All Done.
Posted by Angielala on January 26, 2004, at 14:22:59
In reply to Another Monday, posted by All Done on January 26, 2004, at 12:04:49
If you only want to post when you fell bad- that is absolutely perfectly fine! We are here for you, no matter what. You have unconditional friends here :)
All Done, I really really feel where you are coming from. I'm having a down day myself. And the guilt- I understand so much.... I have a wonderful fiance who is so supportive. Some really close friends that know my ups and downs and are always there for me.
Yet I hate my job and I have thinking about my job, I hate my career and I know what you mean about the lack of motivation, I'm right here with you.
Now because I'm on the outside looking in, I can tell you a few things you can't see from out here. The fact you got your mom and hubby to go to joint sessions is something that takes courage and a total unconditional love. Just for that, i hope you can give yourself on your back.
Now- the work part. We hate our jobs. This we know. We know that we have to work for money and whatever else life throws our way (med insurance, blah blah blah). Try not to let the crap you have to go through each day at work skew what you do have- a creative mind, a loving and caring and empathic soul... work tries to kill our spirit, and as hard as it is, we need to find ways, at work, to be able to express ourselves... maybe to TO anyone, but if you feel better after doodling with a really nice fine tip pen for 15 minutes, do it. Maybe you and I can start writing short, silly prose about certain situations at work- then we can at least laugh at it.
Go ahead- write a little poem or limerick or hiaku or a piece of funny prose about a particular person(s) or situation that drives you batty- and I'll follow :)
> I'm sorry - I don't mean to only post when I'm feeling bad, but I just haven't had much motivation to post otherwise lately.
>
> I'm feeling so terrible I could cry. I dread going to work every day. I get a pit in my stomach that doesn't go away until 5:30 and then I don't want to go to sleep at night because the next morning will come even faster. I hate my job and I hate my career.
>
> My husband and I have our first therapy session with my mom on Thursday. I'm so nervous about it I wish I could just cancel. But that would just be putting off the inevitable, I suppose.
>
> Then, I start feeling guilty about being depressed because I think to myself I have a husband who regularly suggests I get massages and take bubble baths, a beautiful son that knows nothing is wrong with the world except the fact that Elmo isn't on TV 24/7 and friends who rival Beefcake in the support and compassion departments (not to mention I have Beefcake himself). I really shouldn't feel so bad, but the fact remains, I do.
>
> Once again, thanks for listening. I hope you guys don't mind.
>
> All Done
Posted by Angielala on January 26, 2004, at 14:25:42
In reply to Re: Another Monday » gardenergirl, posted by All Done on January 26, 2004, at 12:28:25
Can I come and get a massage too? I know this might sound crazy (hey- most of what I say is crazy hehehe) but at work do you have any life around you? Plants, a little fish? I bring plants to work just so that I can take a break to water then and prune them... feels good and makes my all gray cube not so spirit-crushing ;)
> > Of course we don't mind. I'm sorry you are so unhappy with your job. That seems to be a theme today. Can you ever take a mental health day?
> > And I highly recommend the massages. My husband tolerates me getting them monthly even though it seems a little extravagant.
> >
> > Take care!
> > gg
>
> Unfortunately, I took a mental health day last week and I just have too much to do, which is part of the problem. I'm so overwhelmed with too much work to get done, too little time to do it. (Yet here I am posting and not working, ugh. Mental health break instead of day, I guess.)
>
> I haven't had a massage in about six months. Maybe I'll schedule one for Saturday after all of my therapy appointments for the week. Hmm, a slightly different take on needing therapy for therapy.
>
> Thanks for your support. I really appreciate it.
Posted by Angielala on January 26, 2004, at 14:29:50
In reply to Re: Another Monday » All Done, posted by Karen_kay on January 26, 2004, at 12:50:33
Is there anyone around to just sit and play with your hair and rub your head/scalp? I have found this so relaxing, even when little. Now I make Kevin do it... while listening to classical music and candles lit. He thinks I'm "cute" by doing this, what he doesn't really realize is that it helps a lot. If there isn't an adult around willing to do it- little girls LOVE to- ask to borrow one if you don't have one- they will play with a woman's hair for ever- just don't let them get you with a curling iron- that defeats the purpose of trying to relax- hahahaha
I'll rent out my 3 year old angel of a neice- she's a great head rubber :)
> Ahhh.... I'm sorry you're feeling bad...
>
> ((((((((All Done))))))))
> A SuPeR BiG HuG FoR YoU!!!!
>
> Is there anything you can do at work to make it improve? I know that sometimes work sucks and there's nothing you can do to make it better. So, is finding another job an option?
>
> If not, then working on yourself is a GREAT place to start. Once you feel better aobut yourself, your situation, and your life, you'll be able to handle a job that sucks much better.
>
> Also, at night is there anything you can do to calm down or relax? Deep breathing or anything like that? At the very least, try listening to some relaxing music while taking your bubble bath. It may help to soothe you. And try to live more in the moment. Don't dread work the next day. Remember, if you live your life dreading what's coming up, then you just live your life in dread, right? (Not to sound preachy or anything....Sorry if it comes across that way :)) But, take advantage of your off-time. And try to do something relaxing with it.
>
> If you have too much work to get done, can you break it up into smaller bits that you can handle? One piece at a time. I think as you begin to see progress, it'll get better as well. And in all aspects. Not just work.
>
> When I had a session with my boyfriend and my therapist, I was terrified! I tried to coach my boyfriend on what he could and couldn't discuss :) (Yes, I'm like that!!) Well, it didn't work out that way. But, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. It's kinda funny how all (you, me elle) of us are going through a down-time right now...Coincidence?? But, I'm pulling myself up and out of this :)
> Things'll (huh? is that a word?) get better hun! I'm pulling for you! You want me to go out there and work for you this week? I'll do it if it makes you feel better...OK??? :)
>
Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2004, at 14:59:37
In reply to Re: Another Monday, posted by Angielala on January 26, 2004, at 14:29:50
Mindfulness, great idea!
Also, can I color with you? For some reason, my inner child has been triggered today. :) Sounds like fun, and much warmer than playing in the snow, which I was considering.
We are here for you whether you are up or down. And jokes help me anytime!
Take care, enjoy tonight, and pull a Scarlett: don't think about tomorrow until tomorrow.
gg
Posted by Karen_kay on January 26, 2004, at 15:02:32
In reply to Re: Another Monday » Karen_kay, posted by All Done on January 26, 2004, at 13:39:04
Hmmmm... The first thing I always check is the fly to be certain it's buttoned. Not that I want to see anything, but I want to tell him so that I DON'T see anything, you know!! Yeah, funny that Beefcake was buttoning his shirt up. Why didn't you say something? Maybe Dance Party USA ran a bit late???
Don't feel bad about not posting. It's fine. I'm a bit hesitant about posting things when I'm not feeling up to it. I've posted some things I shouldn't have then had to go back and do good old "damage control" and I hate that! I always lead with "Stupid Post by Karen" Then try to refrain from posting for a while until I get my bearings straight. Well, I don't ever have things straight, but you know what I'm saying.
I was talking to my old man last night about how "I'm special and he's not" type of thing and came to the conclusion that everything about me that I think is special he doesn't even see...Like the fact that I dance in the car, but never in real life, or the fact that I always cook with an apron, but it's a vintage gardening apron, or that I ash cigarettes on my carpet but don't throw butts on the ground outside, or that when my dog poops on the floor I pet him instead of punish him (??? don't ask why, I jsut love him so much!)...Just my silly quirks or my odd sense of humor...Just the things aobut me that make me me and he doesn't even realize it because he has his head up his butt or whatever. I finally said, "Well, I'm dumping you but not right now because it isn't convenient for me. The timing just isn't right for me." He said, "Ok, well jsut let me know before you dump me. Give me some notice, ok? Like 2 weeks would be great." At least we have some point of reference..... Do you ever wonder if you're special? Like, I know I'm special. But I jsut wonder if other people see it sometimes... And PLEASE don't tell me I'm special, because I'm far more special than most people I know (oh, I'm so mean, but only kidding, you know!! :) I just wonder sometimes... Another moment of doubt...
Posted by Angielala on January 26, 2004, at 15:19:06
In reply to Re: Another Monday » All Done, posted by Karen_kay on January 26, 2004, at 15:02:32
Dancing in the car- me too! Ashing on the floor, but no cigs on the ground outside- ME TOO! Consoling my kitty when she poops on the floor or my other kitty when he throws up (he has a weak tummy)- ME TOO... the fact Kev doesn't know what the heck to do with me at these times- it's normal. It would be like trying to get George W Bush to understand why Albert Einstien rocked as a human being (meaning he was a goof ball and silly). At some point, you will start meeting people that see all of that and embrace it like you do- that's living, living in the moment- dancing and singing in the car. I'm glad you haven't changed yourself because people might thinks it's odd behavior- a lot of people will try to dumb themselves down to have people understand them. You don't have to do that, and you certainly don't have to put up with people who can't stand, never mind understand, your bursts of energy and such. It takes a special person to understand a special person. It's the world around us that is having the problem understanding us- it's not us having the problem of acting "normally" and having a mainstream sense of humor. Skcrew that!
I have reached a point with Kevin that when he's not sure how to react to me and my "weirdness" (like trying to get OTHER people to dance in their car while in traffic) I explain to him that I have happy energy that I need to use or it won't come back. :) See, I dumbed down my answer for him, but not myself. Think your man is hopeless, or do you think maybe he could understand if there was someway to explain things so he can understand?
> Hmmmm... The first thing I always check is the fly to be certain it's buttoned. Not that I want to see anything, but I want to tell him so that I DON'T see anything, you know!! Yeah, funny that Beefcake was buttoning his shirt up. Why didn't you say something? Maybe Dance Party USA ran a bit late???
>
> Don't feel bad about not posting. It's fine. I'm a bit hesitant about posting things when I'm not feeling up to it. I've posted some things I shouldn't have then had to go back and do good old "damage control" and I hate that! I always lead with "Stupid Post by Karen" Then try to refrain from posting for a while until I get my bearings straight. Well, I don't ever have things straight, but you know what I'm saying.
> I was talking to my old man last night about how "I'm special and he's not" type of thing and came to the conclusion that everything about me that I think is special he doesn't even see...Like the fact that I dance in the car, but never in real life, or the fact that I always cook with an apron, but it's a vintage gardening apron, or that I ash cigarettes on my carpet but don't throw butts on the ground outside, or that when my dog poops on the floor I pet him instead of punish him (??? don't ask why, I jsut love him so much!)...Just my silly quirks or my odd sense of humor...Just the things aobut me that make me me and he doesn't even realize it because he has his head up his butt or whatever. I finally said, "Well, I'm dumping you but not right now because it isn't convenient for me. The timing just isn't right for me." He said, "Ok, well jsut let me know before you dump me. Give me some notice, ok? Like 2 weeks would be great." At least we have some point of reference..... Do you ever wonder if you're special? Like, I know I'm special. But I jsut wonder if other people see it sometimes... And PLEASE don't tell me I'm special, because I'm far more special than most people I know (oh, I'm so mean, but only kidding, you know!! :) I just wonder sometimes... Another moment of doubt...
Posted by gardenergirl on January 26, 2004, at 15:20:59
In reply to Re: Another Monday » All Done, posted by Karen_kay on January 26, 2004, at 15:02:32
KK,
You are 100% uniquely you, which makes you very special indeed. You know the wonderful thing about Tigger...Same deal.gg
Posted by All Done on January 26, 2004, at 15:53:48
In reply to Re: Another Monday, posted by Catmom on January 26, 2004, at 13:50:16
> I am sorry that you are feeling so bad. Yes, Mondays can be very rough especially when the job/career is not gratifying at all.
>
> I also want to urge you not to lay a guilt-trip on yourself for feeling bad when you have so many good people/things in your life. It's great that you do have the good, but that cannot automatically make for a bright, shiny, happy life.
>
> And if your feelings about work are interfering with your sleep, of course that ends up aggravating the situation and bringing in yet another problem.
>
> I am so very sorry. Are there any other job/career options for you? I know that it's not the best time in US history to look for new employment. Take good care of yourself, All Done.
>
>Thanks, Catmom. I'm trying to think of other job/career options, but it's been difficult for me to decide what I really want to do. I struggle with wanting to do something that's really fullfilling outside of the home and being a stay at home mom (which right now would be a financial strain that my husband and I could probably not deal with). I'm going to keep thinking about it but also follow the advice of my therapist and let things "settle" for a while. I'm guessing my true career goals and desires will probably spring themselves on me when I least expect it.
And I definitely know I need to get more sleep. Maybe I'll try some lavender bubble bath tonight.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.