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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 26, 2003, at 20:53:00
I don't know about the rest of you, but holidays aren't anything that I look forward to. They take way too much out of me, and give me far too little in the rewards department.
Today, I was really close to calling Emergency Services to find someone to talk to. For me, holidays are a time where I have to play a part for a family that won't accept me for who I am. A brother and his wife are now treating me as if nothing bad had ever happened between us. His last letter to me put me in the hospital after a nearly successfull suicide attempt. I can't play nice for the family parties just to make everything look right. So.... I sit, don't say anything, feel my blood pressure rise, hear a chorus of voices saying "Get out now!", and try to sit there just the same.
Well, it's over; it doesn't feel over, but it's over. I spend time with special friends. Other 'friends' who say they'll call have told me that they forget my number. Every time I see them they ask for the number. They could wallpaper their home with the sheets they've written my number on. I get the hint.
The special friends though, they don't forget my number. They call. They don't ask me to call later. They make holidays bearable.
Well, that's my tirade. The club is for those of us who recognize that holidays can be terribly difficult. During the times where everyone else is spending too much money, and enjoying it, we're wondering how on earth we are going to manage to brush our teeth.
If you care to join, you will be joining arms with some of the most wonderfull people on the planet. Welcome.
Dee.
Posted by shar on December 26, 2003, at 21:44:13
In reply to The Holiday Recovery Club, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 26, 2003, at 20:53:00
...assuming this is open membership. Sounds like you held it together very well, a hard thing to do. Sitting and being quiet is something I do, too. It was a Klonopin Christmas for me; that helps me be still.
So, point me to the Clueless Couch, and let's have some tea.
Shar
Posted by tabitha on December 26, 2003, at 22:01:15
In reply to The Holiday Recovery Club, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 26, 2003, at 20:53:00
Count me in. I quit doing Christmas entirely. It got to be a choice between obligatory hellish family visits, and odd Christmas orphan events with not super-close friends that tended to be more alienating than connecting. I spent a couple years just being alone and miserable. Tried going to the movies-- couldn't bear the looks of pity from the usher. One year I added some Christmas day phone calls to selected relatives and friends. That went OK. So lately I strive to do the minimum that actually feels good. This year I sent cards, hung up one strand of lights, made a couple of family phone calls (actually those didn't go so well-- maybe I need to re-evaluate next year) and bought myself a few gifts. Spent Christmas day home alone. It was the least awful Christmas in a while. I wouldn't go so far as to call it fun.. but definitely not awful.
Posted by socialdeviantjeff on December 27, 2003, at 0:16:35
In reply to Re: The Holiday Recovery Club, posted by tabitha on December 26, 2003, at 22:01:15
Well, it was a nicotine christmas for me. Two packs. My daughter had a great time, although I feel that on the whole santa gets way too much credit. I managed not to get in any fights with ex-relatives or current relatives. That was a good change. Lots of nicotine. Better than any AD I've ever taken. Too bad it gives you cancer and stuff. Daughter had a wonderful time overall, so I accomplished the main goal. As for me, it was bearable with lots of smoke breaks. Nothing was much fun for me but I put on a smile for my daughter's sake. Played my dad on my new Chess board and he kicked my butt. I blame it on the ADs.
Christmas Eve sucked. I work at a convenience store. Everyone coming through was either irate (pissed me off) or full of *holiday cheer* with "Merry Christmas" and "Have a great Chrismas" or "Aww, it so sad you have to work on the holidays" or some other thing like that. Also pissed me off. Big time.
That's my story, rant, whatever.
Posted by DaisyM on December 27, 2003, at 0:52:05
In reply to The Holiday Recovery Club, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 26, 2003, at 20:53:00
I'm in:
My Husband stayed home because he has been really sick (he has diabetes and COPD -- a lung disease). He got that flu...so it sends everything south. Anyway -- my mother actually asked me if he *really* was sick...or maybe he was just "phobic" about "our" family...he missed Thanksgiving too...
NO MOM, I'M JUST MAKING UP LIVING IN THIS NIGHTMARE!!!!
:( sorry, is there still room on the couch?
Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 27, 2003, at 10:22:14
In reply to I'm in..., posted by shar on December 26, 2003, at 21:44:13
Shar,
Thanks for joining! The judicious use of psycho-pharms is a good skill to have. Besides, if you use your imagination, the pills can look like Christmas ornaments. :-)
You are most welcome here.
Dee
Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 27, 2003, at 10:25:57
In reply to Re: The Holiday Recovery Club, posted by tabitha on December 26, 2003, at 22:01:15
Tabitha,
I like your very elegant solution...
A... suffer
B... Suffer but pretend you're not
C... Smile and go crazy
D... None of the above.I'll pick D, along with you. Choose your own road, talk to those you wish, and stay away from those who cause you pain.
You are quite wise.
Dee.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 27, 2003, at 10:34:23
In reply to Are boys allowed?, posted by socialdeviantjeff on December 27, 2003, at 0:16:35
Jeff,
Boys are quite welcome. The only request is that they don't tell the girls that they set up the tree wrong. :-)
I used to work in a convenience store before, and I know how it can be. Everyone asking you to sell them beer after hours, getting mad when you're out of their favorite beverage, yelling at you when you can't take a $100 dollar bill, and all sorts of other problems. The bonus comes during the holiday season, when there are at least twice as many of these people during the holidays.
Congratulations for making it through. I have to stick with the AD's prescribed by my docs, although I also have the benefit of lots and lots of Seroquel. If I'm getting too upset to handle it, I can just go to sleep. :-)
Welcome, and enjoy.
Dee.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 27, 2003, at 10:42:59
In reply to Re: The Holiday Recovery Club, posted by DaisyM on December 27, 2003, at 0:52:05
Daisy,
You get your own couch, a convertible, for both you and your husband. We'll write a note to your mom too!
Let's see....Dear Mrs. Daisy's mom.
We're sorry to tell you that your Son-in-law was so overcome with intimidation during the holiday season, that He opened up a kissing booth for folks with contagious illnesses. His initial premise was that the joy encountered at family gatherings would act as an anti-viral, and the illness would disipate the day before family visits. Unfortunately, the expirement failed, and he is too sick to attend. Should you wish, he can come and exhale his germ-infested breath and allow you to participate in the expirement, but assuming for the moment that you do not so wish, he and his wife will remain at home, awaiting your call.Please feel free to use the note. :-)
Welcome,
Dee.
Posted by zenhussy on December 27, 2003, at 10:53:31
In reply to Re: The Holiday Recovery Club » DaisyM, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 27, 2003, at 10:42:59
Dee,
Your note for Daisy's folks is classic. Great thinking!
For the HRC will notewriting be an advantage of membership? I could use some 'please excuse zen from life duties' notes about now.
I hosted the post turkey club. I'm so glad you opened the doors for the end of the year. Much needed.
Got my jammies on. Not gonna change either, cool?
zenhussy
Posted by justyourlaugh on December 27, 2003, at 12:33:42
In reply to Re: will you write excuse notes for all? » deirdrehbrt, posted by zenhussy on December 27, 2003, at 10:53:31
i told hubby if i couldnt "get a grip" today ,,to put me out...
i am really trying,,
its not working..
ill pass him a hammer..
...
i mean ,,holidays sure are tough..
today i got up..
but didnt want to..
..
now we have newyears to look forward too...
sigh..
..cant fit my pj's anymore..
where is my new moomoo?
j
Posted by octopusprime on December 27, 2003, at 12:42:19
In reply to Re: will you write excuse notes for all?, posted by justyourlaugh on December 27, 2003, at 12:33:42
this christmas i got a box of guilt from my mother and sister for not going home for christmas.
today i will exchange it for a new winter coat.
i also got jammies that are two sizes too big. i'll send them to justyourlaugh. ((jyl))
Posted by judy1 on December 27, 2003, at 12:56:28
In reply to Re: will you write excuse notes for all? » deirdrehbrt, posted by zenhussy on December 27, 2003, at 10:53:31
> Got my jammies on. Not gonna change either, cool?
Very cool. Mine are still on too, the ones with the big hole in the shoulder that my parrot chewed. I avoid mirrors at all times.
take care, judy
Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 27, 2003, at 16:02:55
In reply to Re: will you write excuse notes for all? » deirdrehbrt, posted by zenhussy on December 27, 2003, at 10:53:31
Zen,
I can't offer note-writing as a guaranteed perc, but I'll do what I can. Different alters may creat different style notes.... some have different personalities.
Anyway, here goes:To whom it may concern:
We are disheartened to report to you that Zen has inexplicably vanished from this plane of existence. Using every tool at our disposal, we have searched throughout the known universe and have been unable to locate her DNA. We suspect alien abductors.
Our firm has begun a search of all co-joined unervises, and we shall notify you at the first sight of proper DNA traces.Until that time, please accept our recognition of your concern. We too, would appreciate it if you would inform us, should you receive any indication of the locality of Zen.
We wish to give you notice also, that when other individuals have been returned from other universes, that it takes a great deal of time to recover. Some returnees have been bed-ridden for a number of weeks.
Again, thank you for your help.
Universal locator service.
How's that?
Dee.
Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 27, 2003, at 16:05:59
In reply to Re: will you write excuse notes for all?, posted by justyourlaugh on December 27, 2003, at 12:33:42
Smiling.
Posted by DaisyM on December 27, 2003, at 16:45:39
In reply to Re: The Holiday Recovery Club » DaisyM, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 27, 2003, at 10:42:59
Oh My God...I am laughing so hard!!!! :)))
I wish I had the nerve to send it to her. Thanks for letting me stay home too, I should have thought of that and just sent the kids.
Now, if you could just include a little fairy dust in the envelope to help clean up this after-Christmas mess...I might stop yelling at my kids. *sigh*
Is it Monday yet? At least at work I have an office to hide in.
Posted by fallsfall on December 27, 2003, at 19:18:53
In reply to The Holiday Recovery Club, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 26, 2003, at 20:53:00
I second the "It's finally over" thought.
Somehow, I made it through, and almost did what I had to for my kids (we put the tree in the house, but it is naked... I did OK (miraculously) in the getting presents department... I brought 5 Psych books to stay over at my parents' one night - but only read a couple of pages of one).
Thank goodness New Year's isn't a big holiday for me (it is my holiday to cancel plans because I'm sick - I've stopped making plans...). I am looking forward to my boring, normal life.
Posted by DaisyM on December 28, 2003, at 0:33:15
In reply to Re: The Holiday Recovery Club » deirdrehbrt, posted by fallsfall on December 27, 2003, at 19:18:53
I spent 2 hours in the library today getting more to read. This is my escape!
Tell me if you found anything good, Please?
Posted by socialdeviantjeff on December 28, 2003, at 0:48:34
In reply to Re: Are boys allowed? Absolutely! » socialdeviantjeff, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 27, 2003, at 10:34:23
Thanks, Dee. I'll just take the fold up chair in the corner. FYI, my dad set up the tree. I couldn't to save my life.
Posted by zenhussy on December 28, 2003, at 13:32:13
In reply to Re: will you write excuse notes for all? » zenhussy, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 27, 2003, at 16:02:55
Dee,
I would take a note from any alter offering one up.
Your note has me howling with laughter. I've printed out a copy (substituting my birth name for my posting name) and am going to frame it on my wall. I'm not kidding. This is exactly what I need to look at when I'm in that horrid space of not being able to deal with anything.
You are fabulous for running such a top notch club.
Kick back and let us all sloth out and recover.
zh
Posted by Camille Dumont on December 28, 2003, at 22:19:10
In reply to Re: will you write excuse notes for all? » zenhussy, posted by deirdrehbrt on December 27, 2003, at 16:02:55
This is just so perfect, I'm saving it and I might use it as a reply to unwanted family emails... thank you so much.
I'm sort of lucky in the holiday department as my mom lives in Chicago (about 800 miles from the rest of the family) so each xmas I hop on a plane and come down. Its better to have to face 4 people than 25 in those horrid family gatherings where everybody seems to know who I am but the opposite doesn't hold. Its freaky.
> Zen,
> I can't offer note-writing as a guaranteed perc, but I'll do what I can. Different alters may creat different style notes.... some have different personalities.
> Anyway, here goes:
>
> To whom it may concern:
> We are disheartened to report to you that Zen has inexplicably vanished from this plane of existence. Using every tool at our disposal, we have searched throughout the known universe and have been unable to locate her DNA. We suspect alien abductors.
>
> Our firm has begun a search of all co-joined unervises, and we shall notify you at the first sight of proper DNA traces.
>
> Until that time, please accept our recognition of your concern. We too, would appreciate it if you would inform us, should you receive any indication of the locality of Zen.
>
> We wish to give you notice also, that when other individuals have been returned from other universes, that it takes a great deal of time to recover. Some returnees have been bed-ridden for a number of weeks.
>
> Again, thank you for your help.
>
> Universal locator service.
>
> How's that?
>
> Dee.
This is the end of the thread.
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