Psycho-Babble Social Thread 291597

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my journal - a survey

Posted by octopusprime on December 19, 2003, at 11:15:43

just a general statement, a survey, and some queries:

i have recently returned to my old-fashioned paper-based journal. over the last few days i have averaged at least 500 words a night. inexplicably, in a way that i can't really articulate, i feel much better. i'm starting to explore areas and sticking points that i haven't written down in years, and i think i'm starting to get somewhere.

so survey questions:

* who keeps a journal?
* is there a specific writing routine (in terms of days/week) that is both sustainable and useful?
* while i generally write whatever i feel like, is there any sort of useful program for guiding yourself through a series of questions?
* am i the only one that keeps old journals but never reads them?
* is it helpful to read what i wrote 5 years ago?

i'd appreciate any insights and feedback into journaling that any of you may have. also general musings are welcome. :)

thanks.

 

Re: my journal - a survey » octopusprime

Posted by Penny on December 19, 2003, at 11:29:16

In reply to my journal - a survey, posted by octopusprime on December 19, 2003, at 11:15:43

> * who keeps a journal?

I keep a journal - started keeping a journal four years ago when I first started therapy.

> * is there a specific writing routine (in terms of days/week) that is both sustainable and useful?

I tried to keep journals for years, off and on, thinking I had to write in them regularly - and that, for me, was a sure-fire way to ensure that my journal would end up not being kept at all...so now I write whenever I feel like writing. I usually take it with me to therapy and pdoc appointments, and gather my thoughts prior to those, try to write in it when there are important things I want to remember, things like that.

> * while i generally write whatever i feel like, is there any sort of useful program for guiding yourself through a series of questions?

I can't comment on this - I generally write whatever I feel like as well. I do know that if I'm feeling really really bad I shouldn't journal, even though that's the time I usually feel most like journaling. However, for me, writing down how bad I'm feeling makes me feel that much worse. However, if I were to journal in a way that helped me gain some rationality when I'm feeling down..that might be helpful.

> * am i the only one that keeps old journals but never reads them?

I'm sure you're not the only one, but I have read things from old journals, though not frequently.

> * is it helpful to read what i wrote 5 years ago?

Depends on what you're hoping to achieve. If you're trying to remember something specific that you know you wrote about, or if, perhaps, you are looking over old journals as a way of seeing how far you've come since then, then I recommend it. My problem when I read through old journals, however, is that I see the same complaints, the same problems, etc. etc. and it makes me feel (sometimes) like I really haven't made any progress at all! It can depress me too, so it can be dangerous.


 

Re: my journal - a survey

Posted by KellyD on December 19, 2003, at 12:23:30

In reply to my journal - a survey, posted by octopusprime on December 19, 2003, at 11:15:43

* who keeps a journal?

I do, too.

* is there a specific writing routine (in terms of days/week) that is both sustainable and useful?

Generally, I write something every day or every few days. I tend to write more when I'm feeling bad than when I'm feel good.

* while i generally write whatever i feel like, is there any sort of useful program for guiding yourself through a series of questions?

I write what I feel, but there are guides available. It helps me to write what I want as opposed to specific guidelines.

* am i the only one that keeps old journals but never reads them?

I keep them around... really not sure why as I don't tend to read them either.

* is it helpful to read what i wrote 5 years ago?

It isn't for me. I am helped more by the catharsis (is that spelled right ???, if not "emotional enema" might be a good term to substitute) of the moment.

 

Re: my journal - a survey » octopusprime

Posted by zenn4 on December 19, 2003, at 13:00:21

In reply to my journal - a survey, posted by octopusprime on December 19, 2003, at 11:15:43

I have kept a journal since junior high on and off. But over the past few years, when I feel well enough, I write everyday. A good book is "writing down the bones" by Natalie Goldman. I found it helpful. I'm sure there are other books out there too. Looking back on old journals can be both a blessing and curse. You are writing from actual experience and hindsight is always 20/20. I've found some things to be sad, like when I write about my brother (he died two years ago), some things I regret, and other things make me happy remembering. I don't think there's any good "rules" - there's only what happens to work for you. Good luck in your writing journey.

 

Re: my journal - a survey

Posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 13:05:10

In reply to my journal - a survey, posted by octopusprime on December 19, 2003, at 11:15:43

I keep a journal. I started with a mood diary and found that to be ridiculous, so I bought a journal instead.

I write in it everyday. Sometimes I'll skip a day, but usually I keep up with it.

I usually write what I am feeling. If I'm depressed, I write about how much my life sucks, how much school sucks, how much my boyfriend sucks, and how much I love my doggie :) If I feel good for the first day in a long time, I write about how wonderful life is and how much I love my doggie. This is what I started writing about. Now, I tend to stick with my dreams (as in while I'm sleeping dreams), issues during therapy, and why I'm avoiding certain things.

Journaling has helped me quite a bit. Since I have a horrible memory, I can look back and see exactly when I felt a certain way, even if I don't recall it.
I do ask certain questions (Such as why are you avoiding such and such.. I'll list several possibilities) From there I'll look at those and pick the most likely answers and ask again "Why?"
and keep asking "Why" until I find the answer. Is this what you mean?

I keep my old journals. But, I've only been journaling for a year and a half. I've read them once. It was nice. It made me feel good, because I feel so much better today than I did a year ago.

The only problem I have is that I don't trust my boyfriend. I'm sure he wouldn't read them, but I still hide them. But, I forget where I hide them. It's a pain in my butt searching for my journal.

 

Re: my journal - a survey

Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 19, 2003, at 21:21:28

In reply to my journal - a survey, posted by octopusprime on December 19, 2003, at 11:15:43

> * who keeps a journal?
I do too.
> * is there a specific writing routine (in terms of days/week) that is both sustainable and useful?
I keep my journal with me most times, unless I don't want to carry a large bag when I go somewhere. I can write inn my journal whenever I like. The most common place though, is in bed, right after taking my evening meds.

> * while i generally write whatever i feel like, is there any sort of useful program for guiding yourself through a series of questions?
I write whatever I want.

> * am i the only one that keeps old journals but never reads them?
I have kept all of my old journals, and I tend to keep things in sort of a scrap-book fashion. While my 'journal' style things are done in bound books, lots of other stuff is in 3-ring binders which are sorted by date. Sometimes when I want to find out what was going on at a particular point of my life, I can go to the right book and find it.
I write a fair amount of poetry, and this has always gone to my journal. The poetry is related to how I am feeling, and belongs there.

> * is it helpful to read what i wrote 5 years ago?
As I said above, I write poetry. I've actually had some poetry that I found in my journals published. It was interesting once to look back and find some of my psychiatric symptoms plainly stated in the journals. It's worth looking at every so often.

Thanks for the survey,
Dee.

 

Re: my journal - a survey » Penny

Posted by octopusprime on December 19, 2003, at 21:23:11

In reply to Re: my journal - a survey » octopusprime, posted by Penny on December 19, 2003, at 11:29:16

> Depends on what you're hoping to achieve. If you're trying to remember something specific that you know you wrote about, or if, perhaps, you are looking over old journals as a way of seeing how far you've come since then, then I recommend it. My problem when I read through old journals, however, is that I see the same complaints, the same problems, etc. etc. and it makes me feel (sometimes) like I really haven't made any progress at all! It can depress me too, so it can be dangerous.


hmm, maybe i will skip the old journals then.
i want to try to break the same old same old coping pattern cycles that i think i have been in for years. i think my ways of dealing with things started when i was too young to journal. i don't think i journaled my coping mechanisms, but i really can't remember what i wrote 10 years ago (and if i wrote it was probably some silly blather about boys :p)

i also tend to write when i'm feeling bad. now i'm feeling somewhat stable - neither good nor bad, so i think it's a good time to start to write and see if i can construct a positive narrative to build on for the future.

i'm tired of coping with life and i'd like to start living it. i think what i have to do is become really, really honest with myself, my thoughts, and my behaviours, acknowledge all of me, then start to pinpoint visions of the future based on what i truly am and where i have been. i never recall articulating any life-long dreams (or even having them for that matter) ... i'm really going to have to dredge the old knowledge banks to come up with something. (or integrate parts of things that already exist)

i think what i'm trying to achieve is somewhat different than your aims of journaling, penny. journaling is a good way to document day-to-day things (especially when our memory banks are feeling faulty). i think i'm looking more for exploration.

cheers

 

Re: my journal - a survey » zenn4

Posted by octopusprime on December 19, 2003, at 21:38:21

In reply to Re: my journal - a survey » octopusprime, posted by zenn4 on December 19, 2003, at 13:00:21

> I have kept a journal since junior high on and off. But over the past few years, when I feel well enough, I write everyday. A good book is "writing down the bones" by Natalie Goldman. I found it helpful. I'm sure there are other books out there too. Looking back on old journals can be both a blessing and curse. You are writing from actual experience and hindsight is always 20/20. I've found some things to be sad, like when I write about my brother (he died two years ago), some things I regret, and other things make me happy remembering. I don't think there's any good "rules" - there's only what happens to work for you. Good luck in your writing journey.

hi thanks for the recommendation zenn4 - i looked into it.

secretly i would like to write a book. i think i can, but i just don't know the topic or the characters yet. :p i was thinking about it on the way to work this morning, and i thought about jumping into the skins of other people i know and writing about what it would be like to be them.

but i'm being selfish and first i am going to write about ME ME ME! and of course, self interested blather makes a terrible book :(

i don't know if i got the message right after skimming the few pages of the book available, but i think the most valuable advice in there is to "free the inner censor". i have done that in my last few days of writing, and it has been liberating. i must continue, i feel like i am breaking through something and it can change my life.

more book ideas welcome.

 

Re: my journal - a survey » Karen_kay

Posted by octopusprime on December 19, 2003, at 21:47:33

In reply to Re: my journal - a survey, posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 13:05:10

> Now, I tend to stick with my dreams (as in while I'm sleeping dreams), issues during therapy, and why I'm avoiding certain things.

karen_kay - that's a good idea. i don't have a therapist so this is a therapy substitute. :p i think writing down dreams is a good idea. do you do that when you wake up? i find that even when waking, my dreams are hazy.

> I do ask certain questions (Such as why are you avoiding such and such.. I'll list several possibilities) From there I'll look at those and pick the most likely answers and ask again "Why?"
> and keep asking "Why" until I find the answer. Is this what you mean?

yeah, this is kind of what i mean, but not really.
i'm pretty good at answering specific questions about specific incidents, and figuring out why i feel the way i do about specific things.
but i'm trying to generalize a bit now. i've identified some patterns in the way that interpersonal relationships gone, and the way that i behave. but while on an individual incident level (and per-person level) i can figure stuff out, the generalizations don't work. read: i can't quite figure out my common role and common factors, and which behaviours and actions of mine are causing common cycles. i'm going from micro to macro, and having a tough time doing it, and i'm thinking i will have to challenge my own assumptions on a micro level to do it.

i think i might require a bit of guidance on this journey.

> The only problem I have is that I don't trust my boyfriend. I'm sure he wouldn't read them, but I still hide them. But, I forget where I hide them. It's a pain in my butt searching for my journal.

hmm that is a tough problem. i live alone so i don't have this problem. do you have a locked filing cabinet or drawer that only you have the key to? that might be an easier solution. i will refrain from commenting on lack of trust of your boyfriend - it's the height of incivility to read another's journal!!! i would be mortified if somebody read mine!

 

ooh! amazon has a whole section of books ...

Posted by octopusprime on December 19, 2003, at 22:01:36

In reply to my journal - a survey, posted by octopusprime on December 19, 2003, at 11:15:43

amazon has a section of books dedicated to journal writing:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-url/index=books&field-keywords=Journal%20Writing

i'm running out to my local bookstore now ...
yay!

 

Re: my journal - a survey

Posted by st@cy on December 19, 2003, at 23:51:05

In reply to my journal - a survey, posted by octopusprime on December 19, 2003, at 11:15:43

i keep a journal to write out my feelings when i am in doubt or insecure, then like a math problem i break my thoughts and the situations down into little components, which i also write down, the final outcome is some kind of resolution i come to and this is the part i write down and read later. the reason that this helps me is because when i feel in a slump over a situation i can go back to what i wrote about my resolution, i can see how proud i felt and how good that felt. by reading it i am reminding myself and i can stick with it.

 

Re: my journal - a survey » octopusprime

Posted by zenhussy on December 20, 2003, at 4:11:27

In reply to my journal - a survey, posted by octopusprime on December 19, 2003, at 11:15:43

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030310/msgs/207746.html

back in March of this year there was an interesting discussion of journaling over on the psychological board.

I'll add that as my musing.....good 'nuff?

zh

 

Re: my journal - a survey » octopusprime

Posted by cubic_me on December 21, 2003, at 17:11:17

In reply to my journal - a survey, posted by octopusprime on December 19, 2003, at 11:15:43


> * who keeps a journal?

I do

> * is there a specific writing routine (in terms of days/week) that is both sustainable and useful?

At first I tried to write or draw something every day, but some days I didnt have time, other times I had no inspiration, and other times I simply didnt want to write. I dont see anything wrong in that, but now I just write when I want to. Sometimes it will be a few times in a day, other times once in 2 weeks.

> * while i generally write whatever i feel like, is there any sort of useful program for guiding yourself through a series of questions?

I try to be as honest with myself as I can be. I find it hard telling people the real reason behind things, but I'm learning to tell my journal.

> * am i the only one that keeps old journals but never reads them?

I keep them and read them sometimes, but whats the harm in never reading them. Its better than throwing them away - atleast you can go back to them if you want to one day.

> * is it helpful to read what i wrote 5 years ago?

I like to see what I wrote and how I was feeling. When I think I'm really low and depressed, I can read a few pages from a few months back and say to myself 'well at least I'm not that bad!'


> i'd appreciate any insights and feedback into journaling that any of you may have. also general musings are welcome. :)
>

I find its really liberating not to restrict what I put in my diary. I've put my own random musings, answers to questions I've set myself, reflections on things etc as well as sticking in bits of paper that remind me of certain events, poetry by me and others, lyrics I like, even some quotes from people here if they have really affected me. Its a place where I can be myself without being judged.

 

Re: my journal - a survey

Posted by lookdownfish on December 22, 2003, at 5:46:15

In reply to Re: my journal - a survey » octopusprime, posted by cubic_me on December 21, 2003, at 17:11:17

i keep one. I write in it whenever I feel like it. Which is every day when I'm having a rough time. And only every 2 or 3 weeks if everything's fine. Mostly its once a week after a therapy session. I type mine up on my computer, with a password to protect it. It's good to read over previous stuff, so I can see that I've made progress with my problems. I find its hard to write completely honestly even though its just for me. Its hard not to think someone will read it someday, so i can't help but try to make myself appear a better person than I really am.

 

Re: my journal - a survey » octopusprime

Posted by zenn4 on December 22, 2003, at 6:43:29

In reply to my journal - a survey, posted by octopusprime on December 19, 2003, at 11:15:43

prime,
There is also "the artist way" by Julia Cameron who used to be a producer etc. It is another excellent book. I'm glad you were able to find that book. Natalie Goldberg (sorry I flubbed the name before) also wrote a follow up book, which I have but don't remember the name of. By all means write!!!!!

 

Re: my journal - a survey -- to everybody

Posted by octopusprime on December 23, 2003, at 0:16:41

In reply to Re: my journal - a survey » octopusprime, posted by zenn4 on December 22, 2003, at 6:43:29

> prime,
> There is also "the artist way" by Julia Cameron who used to be a producer etc. It is another excellent book. I'm glad you were able to find that book. Natalie Goldberg (sorry I flubbed the name before) also wrote a follow up book, which I have but don't remember the name of. By all means write!!!!!

zenn4 -
i went to the book store and bought natalie goldberg's book. it was fantastic! much better in actual book form than it looked on the website.

i read the whole thing over the weekend, and i wrote 15 pages or something like that.

(for any of you following along at home, i did read my old journals, and it was instructive - like somebody on the thread zenhussy linked to (thanks zenhussy!) said, i write on my way up and on my way down, and not much at the bottom (which means my perceptions are screwed!))

so to catch up on all my undocumented life would be quite a project ... i do feel ever so much better for starting though and running here and there with my thoughts ... now all i need is a writers group!

i flipped through the artists way at the book store. i liked the idea of "the morning pages", where you write 3 pages every morning come hell or high water, however i think the implementation of this idea will suck because mornings suck. maybe i will migrate the morning pages to the early afternoon or evening, to get me ready for my real day, the one after work. :)

i'm not looking to become an artist and embrace my artist's identity, so i left that book on the shelf.

thanks everybody for chipping in your 2 cents. it's amazing how all us journalers have a lot of similarity.

 

Re: my journal - a survey » lookdownfish

Posted by naiad on December 26, 2003, at 12:45:03

In reply to Re: my journal - a survey, posted by lookdownfish on December 22, 2003, at 5:46:15

Lookdownfish,

This insight alone is a testament to your commitment to honesty. Maybe you are too hard on yourself?! I think writing in my journal is a bit like therapy, sometimes it just sings and other times it is hackneyed and dull.


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