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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Susan J on December 16, 2003, at 10:33:35
I staff this committee which never does anything. I procrastinated and put off arranging for speakers to present stuff to them at a hearing, and then had trouble getting the two co-chairs and the speakers together on the same day and time.
Well, instead of the usual 2-week notice, I ended up giving them only 6 work days notice. And many members are rightfully mad at me. And
because of that, I'm sure the 2 cochairs will get mad at me. And that will reflect poorly in my evaluation next year. Plus, I was on
the hook for a report (along with another staffer) that's due before session and we haven't done it. Haven't even started...People have been fired over similar stuff before. They haven't worked here long, and they messed up from the get-go. But I'm still worried. I did have an excellent reputation until this year (I've
been here 5 years). And I'll do well in session because I understand the work I do, and it's small (albeit many) projects that I can
finish daily. I actually was worse off depression-wise last session and still did well then.And the only other thing I've got going for me is that I've told my boss about my depression, my troubles concentrating and getting out a
good work product, and have asked repeatedly to move me away from my suitemate (who contributes to my inability to work well). And he hasn't been able or willing to help...but at least it's on record that I asked for help.I am certainly not expecting any type of raise next year, but do ya think I'm in danger of getting fired? I guess you wouldn't know
because you don't know the culture here. But does anyone have any suggestions on how to make myself fire-proof? :-)Thanks,
Susan
Posted by octopusprime on December 16, 2003, at 11:09:24
In reply to Screwing up at work, posted by Susan J on December 16, 2003, at 10:33:35
> But does anyone have any suggestions on how to make myself fire-proof? :-)
asbestos pajamas? ;) i kid, i kid.
well susan i can see why you would procrastinate on such an unpleasant task.
anyway, there are a few ways to make yourself somewhat fire-proof:
1. having specialized (and preferably undocumented) knowledge that nobody else in the organization knows
2. working to save the company money by abolishing useless committees :p
3. being indispensible to the social fabric of the office (your office mate notwithstanding) - if you organize xmas parties, etc., everybody will know you and associate you with a good timeanyway, write that report, and be nice but not overly apologetic about the lateness of speaking arrangement.
i can't comment on whether or not you will be fired, as i'm unfamiliar with your corporate culture. but i know that you are hard on yourself, susan (i've seen it in your other posts), so please try to take the criticisms in stride. it's not personal. and the longer until your evaluation, the more time you have to do something "special" to overshadow this particular incident, and the better your evaluation will be. corporate years are long, and hopefully people in your organization have short memories. :)
Posted by Susan J on December 16, 2003, at 11:21:09
In reply to Re: Screwing up at work, posted by octopusprime on December 16, 2003, at 11:09:24
Hi, Octo,
Thanks for the comments!
> 1. having specialized (and preferably undocumented) knowledge that nobody else in the organization knows
<<Hah! This I have...I'm one of the few in the region who understands Medicaid and Medicare!> 2. working to save the company money by abolishing useless committees :p
<<I have no control over that. I work for a State legislature and they create their own committees....although I'd *like* to get rid of this one...I actually asked to be removed from it but my boss wouldn't do it....I dunno why. I bet I'm not on it next year, though, one way or the other. :-)> 3. being indispensible to the social fabric of the office (your office mate notwithstanding) - if you organize xmas parties, etc., everybody will know you and associate you with a good time
<<Kind of. My boss really likes me, and I write a sports column here that seems to have a lot of fans....
>>it's not personal. and the longer until your evaluation, the more time you have to do something "special" to overshadow this particular incident,
<<Ah, that *is* true. I never thought of it like that. If I do well in session, that'll be the last thing they remember...>>hopefully people in your organization have short memories. :)
<<I have two bosses. One during session and one during interim, and I haven't endeared myself to my boss during interim. And that's where I've been messing up. He also doesn't know I've been dealing with depression, but frankly, even if he knew, I don't think he'd understand too well. He's part of that old macho work dynamic where guys brag about how many hours they work and how much their wives miss them.....duh.
Thanks again. And yeah, I'm hard on myself. I hope that's the case, here....Susan
Posted by Poet on December 16, 2003, at 12:55:29
In reply to Screwing up at work, posted by Susan J on December 16, 2003, at 10:33:35
Hi Susan,
I agree with octopuss that making yourself invaluable is a good way to hide behind those fireproof walls.
What you also have for defense is five years of good evaluations. Even if these screw ups are noted on your next one, all those positive things outweigh the bad.
I was called sarcastic on my last evaluation and even though I admit I am, I hated seeing it in print. What finally made me feel better was that in all other categories I shined.
Apologize for the screw ups if anyone seems to want one, and crank out the best report you can do.
Cover your butt with both hands is my motto.
Poet
Posted by st@cy on December 16, 2003, at 18:15:36
In reply to Screwing up at work, posted by Susan J on December 16, 2003, at 10:33:35
i don't know much about being fire-proof, but i do know what will help you get back on the ball at work. If you refuse to dwell on what you did wrong, and instead walk in with a positive attitude. i know when i mess up at work i dwell on it and it makes my performance less than what i should do. but then i tried walking in like i have been doing good all along, and my esteem was up, i worked well with others, and left that day feeling good about the job i'd done. granted i only work in fast food, but it's a tip worth mentioning...hope it works out for you!!
Posted by noa on December 16, 2003, at 18:57:36
In reply to Screwing up at work, posted by Susan J on December 16, 2003, at 10:33:35
>But does anyone have any suggestions on how to make myself fire-proof? :-)
>LOL. When you figure that out, let us know the secret!
So much of that kind of stuff I think is idiosyncratic to the culture of where one works.
I myself was starting to have an anniversary reaction because last year at this time was when the picky memos were starting to come out and it was obvious they were trying to create paper trails and it was last year next week when I confronted my boss and asked if they were just trying to get rid of people and she let it out that yes, there would be job cuts, and so began a horrible, miserable half year or so.
And I think my work is ok this year, but with the increased work loads due to staff cutbacks, I am not able to keep up with things as well as I'd like. I've just been saying this matter of factly, not in a complaining way, because it is just obviously true. But I know that I need to actually ask to sit down and assess with the boss/es what I see as going well and not. I need it to be on the table that the realities are making it hard to get all the job done as before, but that I think I'm actually doing a pretty darn good job nonetheless.
I am feeling fairly reassured that there won't be a repeat of last year, because one of the immediate bosses just told me and my team-mate that she is taking us out for lunch next week because she feels our team has done well together. The truth is I really don't want to go out to lunch with her, but I do recognize this is her gesture of good will after what happened last year and a gesture to express that she likes our work. But she is only one of my bosses. I straddle two teams and then there are the higher up bosses anyway. And after last year I know that decisions get made in other corners of the organization. I still don't fully trust. I know that this boss (lunch treater) is trying to get me positioned on her team full time next year, but how much they care to accommodate her is very questionable.
In previous years, I know I was often quite dysfunctional because of my depression. When I look back at then from where I am now, I sometimes really don't know how I got away with some of the major performance gaps!
Is there an ally you can confer with who knows the politics and culture of your organization? First of all, to get a reality check on just how much of a problem this little lapse was? Are you seeing it in realistic proportions? Are you being too self-critical? Is it seeming big because it involves someone being angry at you (that is a familiar issue for me, too)? Or, maybe you are assessing it realistically. I don't know. But I think you need someone else to share their more objective thoughts about it with you.
Can you work with your boss to ask for help correcting the problem and preventing it from happening again? I guess what I'm getting at is would it help if you are proactive?
Posted by Susan J on December 17, 2003, at 8:14:51
In reply to Screwing up at work, posted by Susan J on December 16, 2003, at 10:33:35
I appreciate all of your advice. I am having a bit of a panic attack right now, but I think I can muddle through this.
I *do* need to forget my bad performance and keep working through this stuff. Once I get to January 14, things should be a lot easier for me. And after my busy session and before interim assignments, I'll have a talk with the boss who doesn't like me so much, tell him I *want* to be productive, could he please assign me to these *types* of projects. They are not any less difficult so I'm not trying to get out of pulling my weight, just stuff I know how to do so I *can* do it. If he can put me on projects I can work on, I'm no longer a problem for him. I won't advance at work, but at least I'll keep a job until I can figure out how to cope better with my symptoms of depression.
I really, really appreciate everything you guys had to say!
Susan
Posted by Emme on December 17, 2003, at 10:37:51
In reply to Screwing up at work, posted by Susan J on December 16, 2003, at 10:33:35
Accentuate the positive (to be hummed). I watched one guy at work who the powers that be were trying to demote. He set up some sort of database into which he'd enter everything he did. I think it helped him gain an ally one level above his boss when the cherry pie hit the fan. Now he was really being grossly harrassed, which isn't your situation. But I was just thinking that both for review purposes and to bolster your own sense of accomplishment, it never hurts to keep your own computerized log of those smaller useful things you do. (That is if you aren't doing that already.)
And yes, try not to be too hard on yourself. You do have your brains and your experience working in your favor. Just because others have been let go in the past, it is not a given that you will be. Each situation is different.
About the suitemate situation, that is a real problem. Terribly stressful. I can sympathize. I am terribly noise-sensitive and even with nice office-mates it's been a problem for me. My best strategy was to remove myself from the situation when I needed to concentrate. Is there any way you can pick up and work in a conference room for a while when things get really annoying? Any laptops available that you can tote with you? Just a thought.
Emme
Posted by Penny on December 17, 2003, at 11:55:10
In reply to Screwing up at work, posted by Susan J on December 16, 2003, at 10:33:35
Just wanted to say, Susan, that you're not the only one going through this type of thing. Right now I'm just biding my time, keeping a low profile and avoiding my boss if I can at work. I don't like living like this, but I have already made him upset with me and I don't need to lose my job. Fortunately, there is a procedure that they have to follow here (since I work for the state) and I have yet to get an 'official' written warning. So I guess I shouldn't be living in fear.
My pdoc's advice was to just get done what I have to get done and if the boss approaches me to have a plan in mind on how to remedy my poor performance. Which, of course, is easier said than done. My therapist thinks that I need to learn how to not have a flight response (as though this is a life and death situation) everytime my boss approaches me - not to minimize the seriousness of the situation, but to make it managable, b/c when I feel like this I get paralyzed, which makes it that much harder to get my work done.
Sucks, doesn't it? Here's hoping things get better for us both.
P
Posted by Susan J on December 17, 2003, at 12:03:15
In reply to Re: Screwing up at work » Susan J, posted by Penny on December 17, 2003, at 11:55:10
> Just wanted to say, Susan, that you're not the only one going through this type of thing.
<<I know. I was speaking to my mother last night about my troubles. She was surprisingly supportive. And she agrees with me that a person who hasn't been through depression or close to someone who's fought it just doesn't *get* it and how derailing it can be.So I still don't feel like I can tell my one boss that this is the reason for decreased work performance. And since at least 25% of the population has had major depression at one point or another, how do *we* cope at work?
And is it a death sentence to my career? I was never super-ambitious, but I did enjoy getting regular raises.....think I'll ever get back there?
Susan
>>I need to learn how to not have a flight response (as though this is a life and death situation) everytime my boss approaches me - not to minimize the seriousness of the situation, but to make it managable, b/c when I feel like this I get paralyzed, which makes it that much harder to get my work done.
<<Oh, God, that is *exactly* how I feel....and how can I explain the paralysis when it doesn't really even make sense to me? I can sit at my desk for a half hour knowing what I should do, and not knowing how to *start.*Ugh.
I hope things get easier for you, too. :-)
Susan
Posted by Dinah on December 17, 2003, at 15:56:17
In reply to Re: Screwing up at work » Susan J, posted by Penny on December 17, 2003, at 11:55:10
> My therapist thinks that I need to learn how to not have a flight response (as though this is a life and death situation) everytime my boss approaches me - not to minimize the seriousness of the situation, but to make it managable, b/c when I feel like this I get paralyzed, which makes it that much harder to get my work done.
>
Same here. My flight response is so finely honed that it makes my life much worse than it needs to be. Probably going to my bosses and telling them when I'm overwhelmed and asking them to set priorities would stave off a lot of ill feelings, but I try to hide and hope it gets better instead. Then I get so overwhelmed, it's hard to even start. Sigh.
Posted by Emme on December 17, 2003, at 17:36:39
In reply to Depression and Work. ??? » Penny, posted by Susan J on December 17, 2003, at 12:03:15
Hi Susan,
Oh, I do share your worry (as evidenced yesterday!). It's scary. There's got to be some balance, being as hopeful as possible about doing well in our work, and trying to be philosophical when we're not at our best. We don't get a break because it's not a "visible" illness and there's stigma to boot.
I found that I often thought I was performing worse at work than I actually was. Still not as well as I wanted to, but not quite as abysmally as I thought. Despite your difficulties and the recent situation you described, I suspect you're valuable at work in many ways.
> regular raises.....think I'll ever get back there?
Yes, actually, I do. I really do!
Have yourself a decent Thursday, okay?Emme
Posted by phunz on December 17, 2003, at 18:41:02
In reply to Screwing up at work, posted by Susan J on December 16, 2003, at 10:33:35
> I staff this committee which never does anything. I procrastinated and put off arranging for speakers to present stuff to them at a hearing, and then had trouble getting the two co-chairs and the speakers together on the same day and time.
>
> Well, instead of the usual 2-week notice, I ended up giving them only 6 work days notice. And many members are rightfully mad at me. And
> because of that, I'm sure the 2 cochairs will get mad at me. And that will reflect poorly in my evaluation next year. Plus, I was on
> the hook for a report (along with another staffer) that's due before session and we haven't done it. Haven't even started...
>
> People have been fired over similar stuff before. They haven't worked here long, and they messed up from the get-go. But I'm still worried. I did have an excellent reputation until this year (I've
> been here 5 years). And I'll do well in session because I understand the work I do, and it's small (albeit many) projects that I can
> finish daily. I actually was worse off depression-wise last session and still did well then.
>
> And the only other thing I've got going for me is that I've told my boss about my depression, my troubles concentrating and getting out a
> good work product, and have asked repeatedly to move me away from my suitemate (who contributes to my inability to work well). And he hasn't been able or willing to help...but at least it's on record that I asked for help.
>
> I am certainly not expecting any type of raise next year, but do ya think I'm in danger of getting fired? I guess you wouldn't know
> because you don't know the culture here. But does anyone have any suggestions on how to make myself fire-proof? :-)
>
> Thanks,
>
> Susan
>
>i had the same problem a few years ago when i worked as a tsp for gateway. i had my doctor write them a letter and it saved my job. (i had major depresssion and sever anexity)
good luck!
Posted by Susan J on December 18, 2003, at 8:05:32
In reply to Re: Screwing up at work, posted by phunz on December 17, 2003, at 18:41:02
Thanks for the kind words, guys. I have a committee hearing at 11am eastern and I *need* at least 7 members to show....if you are reading could you send some good vibes my way so that I get them? If that many don't show, I'll be in trouble again....
Thanks!
Susan
Posted by noa on December 20, 2003, at 15:08:05
In reply to Thanks again, and wish me luck, please, posted by Susan J on December 18, 2003, at 8:05:32
Did they show up?
I was thinking some of us could put on suits and stand in if needed!
Posted by Susan J on December 22, 2003, at 8:34:45
In reply to Re: Thanks again, and wish me luck, please, posted by noa on December 20, 2003, at 15:08:05
> Did they show up?
>
> I was thinking some of us could put on suits and stand in if needed!>>LOL! Actually, I only got 5, but they were very interested in the topic I picked (the new Medicare prescription drug benefit) and really liked that they got a sneak preview of it. So it went OK, and it's over.
Thank you, all. It really means a lot, and probably saved my sanity on Thursday...
Susan
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