![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lisa1000 on December 6, 2003, at 14:53:01
I'm pretty new at this and i'm not really sure where to start... I'm 18, almost 19, and i'm not exactly sure what's wrong with me...I just get really depressed sometimes. I'm lonely. I think that's my problem. I just don't know what to do...I've never tried to commit suicide. Um, I'm sorry if i sound stupid, or if this is the wrong place for this... I don't even know what i expect to come out of this. I just want someone to tell me what to do. Even though i don't know if anyone can, seeing as i can't even pinpoint what exactly is wrong with me...
Posted by fallsfall on December 6, 2003, at 15:11:17
In reply to confused, posted by lisa1000 on December 6, 2003, at 14:53:01
Hi Lisa,
You are in good company here - many of us are confused, too.
Are you working or in school? Do you like what you are doing? Do you have a group of friends, or one friend? Do you talk about how you are feeling with your friends? You say that you are lonely - that can hurt sometimes. Do your friends ask you to do things, but you don't feel like it? Do you ever ask them to do things (sometimes that is really hard)? What would you do with a friend if you could?
"depression" is a pretty general term. What does it feel like to you to be depressed? Are you sad? crying? sleeping? not sleeping? bored? uninterested in things? unmotivated? not hungry? There are lots of other things can can be part of depression. Every person who is depressed has their own collection (but doesn't have some of the other symptoms). You say that you've never tried to commit suicide. I'm really glad about that. Have you thought about it? I have and I was pretty scared.
I have a son just your age. He joined the Army! He's in training now to work on Satellite Communications. I hope that they think he's more valuable with a computer in his hands than a gun.
It took a lot of courage for you to write your post. I'm really glad that you did. It can be so hard to reach out to other people - you never quite know how they will react, and somehow I always feel a bit hesitent to tell them things that I think are "wrong" with me (but it is important to remember that depression isn't wrong - it is an illness. Sometimes it feels "wrong", though). But this board is a good place to reach out - because many of us will be able to relate to what you are feeling. It helps when you don't feel so alone. Have you told anyone where you live (friends? family?) how you are feeling? What was their reaction?
Gee, I asked you a lot of questions. Answer as many or as few as you want. I'm glad that you have joined us here on Babble.
Posted by 8 Miles on December 6, 2003, at 16:20:40
In reply to confused, posted by lisa1000 on December 6, 2003, at 14:53:01
You did not mention if you have seen a doctor or other professional about your situation. Have you?
Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 6, 2003, at 21:11:56
In reply to confused, posted by lisa1000 on December 6, 2003, at 14:53:01
Hi Lisa, Welcome.
I am so glad that you came here. There are so many people who feel miserable, and just don't want to do anything about it. That you are looking into the problem, and seeking at least some help speaks very highly of you.
18 years old. You must be going through a tremendous number of changes in your life. Your spelling is great, and I'm going to guess that you are, or will soon be in college. If that's wrong, you can let me know. You may have moved away from home, you are becoming more independent nearly every day. My point is that sometimes life changes can really affect our moods.
Whatever the cause, depression is something that most people don't have to continue to live with. If you have been dealing with it for some time, you might want to look into getting some help. For some people, a visit to their regular physician can give some relief. Other people trust a professional, like a therapist, or psychiatrist. If you choose to seek professional help, don't worry about the things that "sound stupid". Let them know what you are experiencing.
If you are in college, there are probably people there who you can talk to. You can also go to the clinic, or what ever medical help center is there. If you are in High-school, you can talk to a guidance counselor whom you trust.
You are very smart, and you have lots of options. I hope that you feel better soon.
Dee.
Posted by sarita0001 on December 6, 2003, at 22:26:09
In reply to confused, posted by lisa1000 on December 6, 2003, at 14:53:01
Hi,
I'm 25 now but I remember feeling like you when I was 18. You don't sound stupid at all- it's great that you are being honest with yourself and how you feel. If you have a friend or relative whom you trust, you can try and talk to them. Sometimes it can feel like you're the only one going through all this stuff. It's hard to live in a society where everyone is encouraged to be so independent. There's nothing wrong with seeking help and I am sure you will find a way to help yourself out.
Take care,
Sara
Posted by lisa1000 on December 7, 2003, at 10:49:41
In reply to Re: confused, posted by sarita0001 on December 6, 2003, at 22:26:09
Here's my situation: I'm 18. I live at home. Right now i'm in cegep, a two year thing in between high school and university, and i'm planning to go away next september. I've got a best friend, and several close friends, but my problem is that i just don't feel like I belong anywhere. It just wouldn't make a big difference if i was there or not. They don't need me like I need them. I've felt this way for a while, but i've never really done anything about it. There's no one around me that has ever experienced anything remotly close to this, and that's why i'm scared to do anything about it. I'm afraid that should i tell me best friend that i feel this way, she won't take me seriously - neither will anyone else. I'm good at disguising how i feel but i'm just so tired of being sad all the time. My worst fear is that i actually get the courage to tell someone, and i get shot down. I don't even know what i would tell them. I know that being depressed is a very loose term, but i'm unclear as to how else to refer to it. I don't sleep well anymore, i feel sad whenever i'm by myself and i've thought about suicide but don't thikn that i'll actually go through with it. The last thing i want is to kill myself, but i just need an escape from how i'm living now. Thanks for listening. - Lisa
Posted by octopusprime on December 7, 2003, at 13:34:04
In reply to Re: confused, posted by lisa1000 on December 7, 2003, at 10:49:41
hi lisa:
boy that is tough. i don't know how to help you feel like you belong: i'm 24 and i haven't figured out the secret to that either.
from the way you describe your problem, it sounds like you could benefit from seeing a doctor and getting treatment for depression.
you might want to start with telling your family, if you are comfortable speaking with them about the problem. they have probably noticed that you are not acting like your normal self, and i know my mother was quite supportive when i was being treated for depression. your mileage may vary.
it's tough when it comes to confiding problems in your friends. especially if you are afraid your friends will be unsupportive, you don't necessarily have to tell them. but tell somebody, your family or a doctor or both.
vous n'etes pas tout seule avec ce problème. bonne chance.
Posted by sarita0001 on December 7, 2003, at 19:12:03
In reply to Re: confused, posted by lisa1000 on December 7, 2003, at 10:49:41
Hi again,
In your post you said you were afraid you'd get shot down. I just want to say that I understand why you worry about that but keep trying. You said your best friend might not take you seriously but if she is your best friend then she will respond. Have you ever gone to your best friend when you were having a hard time in the past? How did those past times go? If you've been able to go to her in the past, then there's a good chance she is one of your best bets.
You also said that you don't think anyone you know has experienced this- you'd be surprised what you might hear once you open up to someone- they might share how they have dealt with their struggles. Good luck.
Sara
Posted by deirdrehbrt on December 7, 2003, at 22:12:47
In reply to Re: confused » lisa1000, posted by sarita0001 on December 7, 2003, at 19:12:03
Hi Lisa.
Thank you for explaining your situation a bit further. I understand now, your confused feelings. I think that you can see here that there are people who will hear you without thinking you stupid. You are a real person, with a real problem, and other real people are capable of listening and sympathizing.
I am not a mental health professional; I can't make a diagnosis. What I can do is to tell you that I have had similar issues. I didn't even know that I was sick until very late in life. I found that I had been compensating for my symptoms to the point where I didn't know I had them. Even when I was seeing a therapist during a divorce, I thought I was just down because of the stresses of the divorce, and my daughter's illness.
I did hit bottom. I did make an attempt to take my life. I have had six hospitalizations. Do you want to know what I've learned?
I learned that true friends, best friends, will not laugh at you, or think you stupid when you tell them that something is troubling you.
I learned that there are professionals who will treat you with respect. They know a great deal about what people can feel, and they know how to either help you with those feelings if something is amiss, or they can reassure you if they are normal.
I learned that even if I have a mental illness, the general public won't know or care unless 'I' tell them. My face didn't turn green, my nose didn't get longer, I'm not compelled to wear a strait-jacket. I look, sound, and act the same as I did before being diagnosed with mental illness.
My point is this: If you are suffering, please don't suffer alone. You are important, and your feelings are important. You deserve to feel well, and people will not think badly of you if you ask for help.
I do hope that you find someone to talk to, and that you start feeling better.
Dee.
Posted by fallsfall on December 8, 2003, at 6:02:50
In reply to Re: confused, posted by lisa1000 on December 7, 2003, at 10:49:41
Hi Lisa,
Thanks for telling us more about yourself. It sounds to me like it might be helpful for you to make an appointment with your doctor and tell him what you have told us. You shouldn't have to feel sad all the time, and you should be able to sleep. Thoughts of suicide (even with no intent to act) are always a serious warning sign. He should do a physical exam to rule out physical problems. It was really scary for me to go see my GP - I didn't want to have depression. But having doctors helping me has been really important. I hope you can go to see him.
There is an earlier thread that might sound a little familiar to you, maybe the two of you should talk a little: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031124/msgs/284151.html
Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
Posted by geri122 on December 12, 2003, at 14:57:52
In reply to confused, posted by lisa1000 on December 6, 2003, at 14:53:01
hey.. im 16 and i am in the same place. I just recently started talking here. I feel like nothing can make me happy, like no one knows or understands. People here have helped me relize that i am not alone. I have to deal with me feeling depressed everyday.. but knowing that i can come home andtell the people here keeps me going through the. Like they have told me, you are not alone, You will get through this.. I am here to talk. maybe we can help each other. We aren't alone
Posted by geri122 on December 12, 2003, at 15:00:33
In reply to Re: confused, posted by lisa1000 on December 7, 2003, at 10:49:41
can i just tell you that i feel the same way.. you don't how relived i am to know that someone near my age feels it.I would really love to talk... if u feel the same and want to know more about me let me know
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.