![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by lepus on November 30, 2003, at 18:48:49
I posted this in grief too but then wasn't sure if that was the right place so I am reposting it here. Please forgive me if that is annoying.
o it looks like I am dealing with the loss of my new found independence already. I had finally been stable for about a year and was living on my own and working (I am 29) and now it looks like all that is over. I have been dealing with mental illness since I was 11 so it has been a long road.
Now depression and anxiety are losing me my job and my apartment so I will have to move back home. I guess my question is how to deal with lost dreams? I am extremely intelligent, have been accepted to top universities in the past yet never able to graduate. How do I mourn the fact that I probably will never get a college degree and work at a real job? How do I mourn the loss of my independence again (I have thought I was free many times only to end up having to come back home)? How do I mourn the loss of the life that could have been? I doubt I will ever date again and that hurts me. I am attractive and can be funny but I am nutcase. I am just out of a relationship with someone I lived with and I never dreamed it would be my last. Yeah, maybe it won't be but things are not looking good right now. So how do we mourn our losses and come to grips with what is the reality now? Sometimes I don't know if I am just weak or really ill. If I were really ill would I mourn the loss of these things so greatly? I have been on so many medications and I just don't want to go that route again and don't even know if I have the strength anymore. I don't feel like anything is going to help me anymore.I have nothing in my life and could use hope. Please for those who have found themselves in similar situations tell me how you mourn the losses or give me hope that maybe I am mourning prematurely...
Posted by Karen_kay on November 30, 2003, at 19:17:57
In reply to losses, posted by lepus on November 30, 2003, at 18:48:49
Here I am again wishing I had the perfect answer and always feeling like I never do. So usually I just skip posts and feel guilty for not posting. Well, this time I'm going to.
The best thing that I can tell you is that you are not alone. I'min a similar situation right now. I'm in college with grades that should be much higher, but am unmotivated, yet I'm intelligent. I've been on many medications and am currently stable. I have Bipolar disorder, along with some personality disoders and PTSD. I'm stuck in a relationship that I'm not sure is working ubt I'm afraid that maybe when I'm better it will work. And what if I can't make it on my own?
What I'm trying to say is that everyone feels the exact same way you do at some point in their lives. But, I think at this time it is much too early to think it is time to give up. You have so much more living to do. So, you have to move back home. Maybe you can take some university courses from home, via computer? Is that a possiblility? And work to save money. If you start making a plan while at home you can start achieving a new start, a better foundation on which to build your future. Just because things don't work out the first or second time doesn't mean they will never work out for you.
Posted by Susan J on December 1, 2003, at 9:51:24
In reply to losses, posted by lepus on November 30, 2003, at 18:48:49
Hiya,
>>I guess my question is how to deal with lost dreams?
<<I know how much it hurts, trust me. But try to think of it as though they aren't *lost* dreams, they are dreams postponed. :-) Our journey through life is harder than most people's. But it doesn't mean we won't get to where we want to be.>>I am attractive and can be funny but I am nutcase.
<<Concentrate on that *attractive* and *funny* and fuggedabout the *nutcase* part. Keep emphasizing all your *good* traits....because I'm sure there are many.I never thought I'd get out of this last depressive episode, but I ended up feeling better for about 3 months now. (I'm feeling a little bummed right now, but I'm hoping that's not a recurrence, just a holiday thing).
It's OK to be upset about *wasted time* and all that, but I really do believe we can achieve our goals. And it's also OK to change those goals along the way. Keep learning, keep hoping, keep nuturing yourself. Hang in there. :-)
I'll be thinking of ya,
Susan
Posted by lepus on December 5, 2003, at 17:57:50
In reply to Re: losses » lepus, posted by Susan J on December 1, 2003, at 9:51:24
Thank you both for your responses. You helped me with a new way of looking at things. I have to find hope somewhere.
Sorry I can't write much. I am still feeling very down and not sure what to do or where to turn. I just wanted to say, "Thank you."
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.