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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 23 to 47 of 55. Go back in thread:
Posted by Larry Hoover on October 8, 2003, at 13:25:54
In reply to Pain » galkeepinon, posted by Susan J on October 7, 2003, at 12:29:33
> I know it's in *your* best interests to seek forgiveness, it really is, but if it's causing this much pain in others, I don't know if it's worth it. Can't better yourself at the expense of others and all that...I'd have to agree with Susan, here. The 9th step of AA reads: "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."
Making amends should only be attempted after much reflection, to ensure that you're not rubbing salt in a wound.
As Susan so well expressed in the Admin posting, people don't owe each other forgiveness....and the seeking of forgiveness should never be undertaken for selfish reasons. If that is the case, then what is being sought is not forgiveness at all. It's a desire to have the incident forgotten....which can be seen to be very disrespectful.
Lar
Posted by lil' jimi on October 8, 2003, at 14:04:49
In reply to Re: Zen, JyL, NickiT2 » gabbix2, posted by NikkiT2 on October 7, 2003, at 10:02:56
hi Nikki
i need you ... ... i can't imagine if you can recall how deeply involved i got ... ... but we share many sentiments here .... .... we need each other ... ... i got a bunch of demented nasty notes too ... ... i feel greater issues with someone's enablers ... ... why are the civil concerns for the easily imaginable impacts on our well-being not the obvious consideration here ... ... .... aren't i a big selfish dog ? ... huh? ... i'm just all ME ME ME !! ... ... i hate that about me ...
hang in there ... i'm on your side, although i'm slow sometimes ... .... but you are NOT alone, at all!
peace,
~ jim
Posted by lil' jimi on October 8, 2003, at 14:26:54
In reply to Stick around Nikki » NikkiT2, posted by bobby on October 7, 2003, at 12:33:46
> Don't pay any attention to those who may get on your nerves or want you to leave. Get the ultimate revenge----STAY! >
EXCELLENT ADVICE !!!!
(and it may contribute to those who are complicit ... realizing their "witless protection program" is counter-cost effective and morally bad policy ... by making this fallout more complcated for them ... plus now we have allies and compatriots ... a Cause! .... ... .... sorry you're feeling so bad (even before the fact) ... well, i was okay ... ... but i think if we can pull together here we might be able to turn this into a positive ... though i'm way open to ideas on approaches ...
carry on,
~ jim)
Posted by lil' jimi on October 8, 2003, at 14:51:12
In reply to Re: Pain, posted by HannahW on October 7, 2003, at 18:53:08
... never heard that one before, huh? ... ... HA!
i want to be your's (and Ms Susan J's too) friend, Please? ... pretty Please?
i like you and your posts and you fit in great and all of your inadequacies are great with me tooo ... want to tell me about them? ... ..
... watch out or you'll get me started on mine ! . ... like my spelling .... HA!.... so you're new, huh? ... i've been here seven months now .... .... i like new people ... and old people ...
... hey, let's you and me and susan (and any other trusted friends who'd like to come along, new or old!) and go and just PUSH ourselves (and all of our inadequacires too!) on La Kara Kara Lynne and her HighPrietess Fallsfall .. !!
do you know kara kara? ... she's sweeeet! ... ... i promoted her pal La Fallsfall to HighPriestess ... ... more sweetness there i tell you ...
... i'm going to anyway ... love for you, Hannah-Banana (!) to come along!
let's play,
~ jimp.s. i'm depressed, 52 1/2 , i have a wife and 4 yr old son ...
... i take 10 mg of lexapro a day ... and i need a haircut ...
... and everytime i make the ... "HA!" ... sound, it's me laughing at me ... HA!
~ j
Posted by lil' jimi on October 8, 2003, at 15:09:52
In reply to Re: Pain » Susan J, posted by Larry Hoover on October 8, 2003, at 13:25:54
from http://www.merriam-webster.com/cgi-bin/dictionary
Main Entry: amends
Pronunciation: &-'men(d)z
Function: noun plural but singular or plural in construction
Etymology: Middle English amendes, from Middle French, plural of amende reparation, from amender
Date: 14th century
: compensation for a loss or injury : RECOMPENSE <make amends>© 2003 by Merriam-Webster, Incorporated
... ... looks like this mechanism's broke
... ...
.... ... the lights are on
.... ... but nobody's home... ... maybe if i'd post the entry for "honor"
... thanks Lar and (my brand new friend!) Susan ...
Lar, i recall with great feeling, you trying to come to my rescue when i was panicked by another's threat of self-destruction .... .... you are are much appreciated in my heart ... and i have counted you as friend from that dark day ... thanks... and soon as i can write them all down, i'm going to post my list of vitamins i take over at Alt ... and ask you to take your very valuable gander ... i live in awe of your value as a resource here ... ... way way more thanks there ...
bliss with a vengeance,
~ jim
Posted by NikkiT2 on October 8, 2003, at 15:12:24
In reply to amends, posted by lil' jimi on October 8, 2003, at 15:09:52
I just need some time to get my head some kind of decent space at the moment.
I might post here and there.. but I'm not really up to posting if truth be known..
So I'm just having some time out.. not leaving for good *s*
Nikki
Posted by slinky on October 8, 2003, at 15:31:22
In reply to It's OK.., posted by NikkiT2 on October 8, 2003, at 15:12:24
i Found it horrible--the imagery that thing someone said.
I did a horrible thing today--i feel so ashamed.
Wishing you well Nikki fellow UK'r..Lets try and not let the donkey's get us down:-)
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 8, 2003, at 19:07:32
In reply to Nik, posted by lil' jimi on October 8, 2003, at 14:04:49
> your second email was pure harrassment.
>
> galkeepinon> you are violating us yet again...
>
> justyourlaugh> i got a bunch of demented nasty notes too ... ...
>
> lil' jimiThis is a rough time, but please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused, thanks.
Bob
Posted by femlite on October 9, 2003, at 0:10:34
In reply to Re: Pain, posted by HannahW on October 7, 2003, at 18:53:08
>> I've been following these threads, and reading the archives. I wasn't around when these things happened, so I didn't feel I had any right to make any posts.
I also am relatively new. And I feel my story has to be told for whatever it may add. I hope it will help.
I too have changed my name,once.
When I first posted here I was in a very volitile and cynical frame of mind, not sure of what i would find, or if i wanted to stay.
When my thoughts and feelings settled, I wanted to be a member, a contributer to this communty.Femlite has always been my screen name for all sites i participate in. As i began to feel comfortable, I wanted to be seen as someone who wanted to contribute and not like the hesitant, doubting person I was for the first month of posts.
I know my situation is very different. And I hope I have not offended any one. There are as mnay reasons why someone might do such a thing as there are people.
I suppose thats why we need moderators
>>I, personally, feel a loss that the board doesn't feel as safe anymore. I feel a loss that, because I'm new, people are suspicious of me, when all I want is to connect and feel included.DITTO DITTO DITTO
I have felt envious of some of the seemingly close and personal relationships I have noticed. And as I read Hannahs words, I wondered and i hoped , wondered if that was the real reson it seemed hard to connect and deepen relationships
(lack of trust caused by situations that occured before my time) and I hoped that if that were the reason, i might have cause for rejoicing (its not just me :) Time will tell. time cures many things, thank goodness.>> which gave me hope that I might be accepted with all of my inadequacies too,
Ditto Ditto :) :)
>> I'm not in any position to make any judgements,Nor am I. Please take this at face value.
I do not mean to make light or belittle what has happened here, but it is my way
to light a candle, and pray for that light to grow and any confussion to disapear.You have all helped me so much.
warmest regards to all
Posted by Larry Hoover on October 9, 2003, at 9:14:36
In reply to amends, posted by lil' jimi on October 8, 2003, at 15:09:52
> Lar, i recall with great feeling, you trying to come to my rescue when i was panicked by another's threat of self-destruction .... .... you are are much appreciated in my heart ... and i have counted you as friend from that dark day ... thanks
That's very touching. Thanks for telling me that. <sigh>
> ... and soon as i can write them all down, i'm going to post my list of vitamins i take over at Alt ... and ask you to take your very valuable gander ... i live in awe of your value as a resource here ... ... way way more thanks there ...
>
> bliss with a vengeance,
> ~ jimI'm happy to contribute here, especially because my life in the "normal world" has been so adversely affected by my illness. I'd probably be a tenured professor by now, but instead.....
I'm thrilled that you've found support in what I say and do.
Hugs,
Lar
Posted by Susan J on October 9, 2003, at 9:29:58
In reply to Re: amends » lil' jimi, posted by Larry Hoover on October 9, 2003, at 9:14:36
Larry,
OK this has nothing to do with the original thread...
>>I'm happy to contribute here, especially because my life in the "normal world" has been so adversely affected by my illness. I'd probably be a tenured professor by now, but instead.....
<<Your wistfulness (is that a word) for the traditional tenured professor position made me sigh, too. I know what it's like to feel like real life gets slowed down or materially changed by my depression. But I wanted to reiterate how valuable your contributions are here. Maybe this is an unconventional forum in which to contribute knowledge, but it can be and is an important one. *I* for one really appreciate the stuff you've written, your knowledge, and your access to research and other information.Life never goes the way we think it will. In a way, that's an amazing gift. *I* am glad you are on this planet. :-)
Susan
Posted by Larry Hoover on October 9, 2003, at 9:53:26
In reply to Larry » Larry Hoover, posted by Susan J on October 9, 2003, at 9:29:58
> Larry,
> *I* am glad you are on this planet. :-)
>
> SusanYou made me cry. And that's good.
Lar
Posted by Dinah on October 9, 2003, at 10:04:30
In reply to Re: Larry » Susan J, posted by Larry Hoover on October 9, 2003, at 9:53:26
Larry, I'll break my self imposed block to say that I completely agree with Susan. You are a blessing to many.
Posted by Susan J on October 9, 2003, at 10:11:06
In reply to Re: Larry » Susan J, posted by Larry Hoover on October 9, 2003, at 9:53:26
> You made me cry. And that's good.
>
> Lar>>Cool. :-)
Posted by Susan J on October 9, 2003, at 10:13:44
In reply to Re: Larry » Larry Hoover, posted by Dinah on October 9, 2003, at 10:04:30
>> Larry, I'll break my self imposed block to say that I completely agree with Susan. You are a blessing to many.
<<Dinah? You're blocking yourself, too? I'm being so selfish, but I really like your contributions, too. (frown) I don't wanna see everyone leave.... But, of course, do whatever is best for you. That I understand.
OK, let's start *happy* threads, here. :-)
Susan
Posted by gabbix2 on October 9, 2003, at 11:18:08
In reply to Re: Larry » Larry Hoover, posted by Susan J on October 9, 2003, at 10:11:06
Susan can vouch for me here. I just told her in an email the day before yesterday how incredible I thought you were, and I was amazed that someone as brilliant as you are could be so humble and kind as well.
Posted by Susan J on October 9, 2003, at 11:23:56
In reply to Re: Larry, posted by gabbix2 on October 9, 2003, at 11:18:08
Yup.....Gabbi said that....I can cut and paste if you like. :-)
Posted by HannahW on October 9, 2003, at 13:55:29
In reply to re: Hannah-Banana!, posted by lil' jimi on October 8, 2003, at 14:51:12
I didn't see this yesterday, jim or I would have replied sooner. Thanks so much for the welcome!
>>all of your inadequacies are great with me tooo ... want to tell me about them?
Oh, Dear! I'm 34 next week, depressed, and take Paxil and Wellbutrin. I'm a terrific friend, once somebody knows me. But apparently I'm hard to get to know. That's my primary issue in therapy, along with all the related junk that goes along with it. How's that for an introduction to my inadequacies? :) How about yours?
Kara and I are just beginning to know each other. And you're right about how terrific Fallsfall is. Such an exceptional person.
Thanks again for the post! I'll look forward to seeing you around the boards!
Hannah the palindrome :)
Posted by HannahW on October 9, 2003, at 14:05:32
In reply to Re: Pain, posted by femlite on October 9, 2003, at 0:10:34
>I hoped that if that were the reason, i might have cause for rejoicing (its not just me :)
Heavens, femlite, it's not you! How long have you been here? I've only been here a couple of months, so I haven't seen many of your posts. Post all over the place--let people get to know you.
People have assured me that this will blow over, and I think I'm already seeing that. I feel so much better the last couple of days than I did a couple of days before that.
I'm glad you're here, and I look forward to knowing you better. (And connecting!) :)
Posted by Liligoth on October 9, 2003, at 22:11:21
In reply to Re: Zen, JyL, NickiT2 » NikkiT2, posted by gabbix2 on October 7, 2003, at 10:20:41
<snipped>
> The frustration.
> How the word. Ass can be considered wrong under the pretense of caring about our feelings-- but someone can be allowed to slither back in and cause nothing but havoc and pain at our expense.
>
<snipped>
>
>
>
>
I just had to reply to your comment as I was reading through these posts catching up I was thinking exactly that as your post loaded. I also feel quite nauseous in response to the unpleasant little psychodrama playing out on this board. In fact Dr Bob I suggest a new board: Psychobabble Drama board!!!sorry for the sarcasm
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 10, 2003, at 1:05:08
In reply to Re: Zen, JyL, NickiT2 » gabbix2, posted by Liligoth on October 9, 2003, at 22:11:21
> > How the word. *ss can be considered wrong...
Please don't quote language that could offend others, either, thanks.
Bob
Posted by Larry Hoover on October 10, 2003, at 7:46:58
In reply to Re: Larry, posted by gabbix2 on October 9, 2003, at 11:18:08
> Susan can vouch for me here. I just told her in an email the day before yesterday how incredible I thought you were, and I was amazed that someone as brilliant as you are could be so humble and kind as well.
Aw, shucks! <bashfully scraping my toe in the sand>
Lar
Posted by femlite on October 10, 2003, at 15:49:25
In reply to Re: Pain, posted by HannahW on October 9, 2003, at 14:05:32
Thanks for your response Hannah,
We've been bumping into each other alot lately :)
I was just identifying with some of the things you wrote. ie... wondering if the past hurts expressed in this thread PLUS the fact that Im new might be contributing to my ability (or lack of) to get to know people.
People have been immensely helpful here (if youve read my other posts lately then you know how much I mean that ("PB raises the bar")
But I have looked on longingly at some of the closer and more established relationships represented here. It seems by the tone of some posts, some people here have known each other for years. (Im amazed that people could even grow that close on the internet and often wonder if their friend ship exsits outside of this site)
Anyway, I too have only been here for 4 or 5 months and honestly, thats not a long time.
I worry that i come across differently in my posts than I am in person, and wonder if that affects perception of me, (do I sound paranoid :)
Friend ships are something that bloom in their own time in the mean Im happy Im here.
My other reason for my post was to confess my name change, just in case someone may feel suspicious or lied to. Clear my conscience sort of thing... Your sweet, thanks for caring> >I hoped that if that were the reason, i might have cause for rejoicing (its not just me :)
>
> Heavens, femlite, it's not you! How long have you been here? I've only been here a couple of months, so I haven't seen many of your posts. Post all over the place--let people get to know you.
>
> People have assured me that this will blow over, and I think I'm already seeing that. I feel so much better the last couple of days than I did a couple of days before that.
>
> I'm glad you're here, and I look forward to knowing you better. (And connecting!) :)
Posted by Liligoth on October 10, 2003, at 21:32:33
In reply to Re: please be civil » Liligoth, posted by Dr. Bob on October 10, 2003, at 1:05:08
> > > How the word. *ss can be considered wrong...
>
> Please don't quote language that could offend others, either, thanks.
>
> BobOh, Im mortified - thought as it's *'d out it was ok. Big sorry! I mean that quite sincerely just in case it didnt sound it. I actually felt physically ill seeing a pbc addressed to me. It being my 1st & hopefully my last. I'll be quiet now. :0
Posted by kara lynne on October 10, 2003, at 22:33:34
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Liligoth on October 10, 2003, at 21:32:33
I thought if you ***d it out it was ok...
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