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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Tabitha on September 27, 2003, at 16:09:56
I met a friend last night and just had an awful time. I felt disconnected from her, and withdrawn, and irritated, and critical of her. I think I'm just angry that she has so little time for me since she's been dating someone and gotten engaged. My therapist would tell me I need to bring such feelings out into the open-- but I didn't even feel close enough to her to process our relationship.
She must have felt the tension too. At the end of the evening we usually hug but she got out of my car without a hug.
I was really needing support over the disruption in my relationship with my therapist. I talked about it but didn't get much response. Most of the evening she rattled on happily about her relationship.
It just felt awful. I feel it's my own fault, for sitting there withdrawn and disconnected, instead of doing something to change it. Just what I didn't need right now-- another relationship disappointment.
Posted by fallsfall on September 27, 2003, at 18:22:30
In reply to Felt disconnected from friend, posted by Tabitha on September 27, 2003, at 16:09:56
I know that I have trouble asking people for help, or even asking them to pay attention to me. I usually think that what they are talking about it more important than my stuff, and/or that they won't be able to help me because my stuff is too weird. I'm trying to ask for help more, and break into conversations with my own issues - it is really hard. Most of the time, though I find that people really do care - they may not be able to help, but they do care - and that, in itself is a help. It is particularly hard when someone is talking about happy stuff to break in with unhappy stuff.
But it sounds like you tried to bring up your problem with your therapist. Does this friend know about therapy? Would she have the background to understand your problem? Did she seem to understand that you HAD a problem?
If she is a good friend, then it would be worth persuing it and letting her know how you feel. If she just doesn't have the experience to know about your issue, then it might be better to find someone who does. I recommend depression support groups - you are bound to find someone there who can relate.
Don't assume your relationship with this friend is dead. Maybe she was just having a hard time coming down from Cloud 9.
Posted by Dinah on September 28, 2003, at 17:11:06
In reply to Felt disconnected from friend, posted by Tabitha on September 27, 2003, at 16:09:56
Ah to be in love. It's probably just a stage she'll go through, Tabitha. I know when I'm on an enthusiasm, I'm insufferable. But I get over it eventually.
And meanwhile if you want someone to talk to about the disruption in your therapeutic relationship, consider my ear open and my shoulder free. I never tire of talking of therapy. :)
This is the end of the thread.
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