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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on June 19, 2003, at 18:24:03
I have been in an angry mood the last few days over the dumbest things. I was expecting an email today. It was supposed to come in 48-72 hours and today would have been 72 hours. And it didn't come. And my anger level blew sky high. Stupid isn't it? I mean I don't even know what was meant by that time frame. Maybe they're counting in business hours or something. I certainly can't email and ask without seeming like a jerk. But it seems like a personal affront to me.
Or my therapist. I tried rescheduling an appt tomorrow with him. It took two days because we missed each other and he didn't try again. I finally called and said "Hello! I think I need to know what time I'm coming in tomorrow!" Again, stupid reason to be angry. I don't even want to go in at all now because I'm mad.
This is not like me at all.
Posted by whiterabbit on June 19, 2003, at 19:28:29
In reply to Stupid anger, posted by Dinah on June 19, 2003, at 18:24:03
You didn't just start taking Wellbutrin by any chance? It had the same effect on me.
-Gracie
Posted by Dinah on June 19, 2003, at 19:41:00
In reply to Re: Stupid anger, posted by whiterabbit on June 19, 2003, at 19:28:29
No Wellbutrin. That was suicide in a pill form for me. But I think it may mean a meltdown is approaching. Eight to ten weeks from last one. I'm nothing if not regular. I think I'll either sneak one of my old Risperdal or try my new Seroquel, and hang on for the ride.
Posted by whiterabbit on June 19, 2003, at 20:45:59
In reply to Re: Stupid anger » whiterabbit, posted by Dinah on June 19, 2003, at 19:41:00
I guess this belongs on the medication board but oh well. Seroquel saved my life and I take it religiously. It's very sedating at first and I almost stopped taking it because I was tired of being tired, and then I almost stopped taking it because I didn't want to worry about getting sick when I drank wine (love wine). But I managed to stick with it and gradually I adjusted to the high dosage (400 mg nightly). Now it doesn't bother me at all and I'm SO GLAD that I was able to ride out the side effects while my body adjusted to the medication. My anxiety level dropped WAY down, the panic attacks and insomnia went away, and for the first time in my whole life I sleep at night and get up in the morning like other people. It's great stuff, hope it works as well for you.
-Gracie
Posted by fallsfall on June 20, 2003, at 9:58:20
In reply to Stupid anger, posted by Dinah on June 19, 2003, at 18:24:03
Posted by yesac on June 20, 2003, at 11:05:25
In reply to Stupid anger, posted by Dinah on June 19, 2003, at 18:24:03
> I have been in an angry mood the last few days over the dumbest things. I was expecting an email today. It was supposed to come in 48-72 hours and today would have been 72 hours. And it didn't come. And my anger level blew sky high. Stupid isn't it? I mean I don't even know what was meant by that time frame. Maybe they're counting in business hours or something. I certainly can't email and ask without seeming like a jerk. But it seems like a personal affront to me.
>
> Or my therapist. I tried rescheduling an appt tomorrow with him. It took two days because we missed each other and he didn't try again. I finally called and said "Hello! I think I need to know what time I'm coming in tomorrow!" Again, stupid reason to be angry. I don't even want to go in at all now because I'm mad.
I HATE it when people say they they are going to do something at some certain time, or at all for that matter, and then they don't follow through. I hate it when people don't call back or email. It seems like they are not showing proper respect, and one thing I am very big on is respect - even if you don't like the person you should still show them respect because everyone deserves it (and I don't mean YOU in particular!).The disrespect and not following through (or being late - another thing that really gets to me) is especially bad from a therapist or psychiatrist I think. My old psychiatrist was late for every appointment, never any apology or explanation. Even if I was the first patient of the day, which I usually was. It drove me crazy because I had to get up early to go in before work, and she didn't even have the decency to get me in on time, and I'd end up being late for work anyway. I'm no longer seeing her, for that reason among others.
Posted by Snoozy on June 21, 2003, at 23:02:14
In reply to Stupid anger, posted by Dinah on June 19, 2003, at 18:24:03
I struggle with this kind of thing myself at times. It is those stupid little things - that makes me mad, and then thinking about how mad I am at a stupid little thing makes me even more mad, which makes me madder still at the stupid little thing. Grrrrrrr.
I have been able to identify one common element in almost all of this - when things are out of my control. If I'm waiting for someone else, and they're running a little late. Even if we have hours to do whatever it is we're supposed to do, I sometimes start getting angry. It's like it just feeds on itself, and after 5 minutes I've got steam coming out of my ears.
I don't know - is it progress to identify what the issue seems to be? I've been working on trying to nip these feelings in the bud early (without pharmaceuticals lol) so they don't keep building, but I'm not making much improvement.
Btw Dinah, I really enjoyed your line about circling in our cage, gnawing on our legs. That phrase keeps coming back to me - I think it really captures something. Thanks.
Posted by Dinah on June 22, 2003, at 5:46:02
In reply to Re: Stupid anger, posted by Snoozy on June 21, 2003, at 23:02:14
Thanks Snoozy. It's a phrase I unfortunately have to use often, especially about my job.
I think identifying the problem is a big step towards a solution. Have you tried cognitive therapy for this? I understand it has a pretty high rate of success for this issue.
The high level of anger is a relatively uncommon thing for me. I've started to have a whole lot of insomnia and anxiety too, so I suspect it's related to my mood cycling.
But the anger hasn't abated yet. I stormed out of my therapist's office in high dudgeon Friday because he tried to do a CBT intervention when it really was not the right moment. I've apologized, but I haven't stormed out in a long time. Clearly I still need to hang on and ride this out a while longer.
Posted by yesac on June 22, 2003, at 12:36:15
In reply to Re: Stupid anger, posted by Snoozy on June 21, 2003, at 23:02:14
> I have been able to identify one common element in almost all of this - when things are out of my control. If I'm waiting for someone else, and they're running a little late. Even if we have hours to do whatever it is we're supposed to do, I sometimes start getting angry. It's like it just feeds on itself, and after 5 minutes I've got steam coming out of my ears.
I feel exactly the same way about waiting for people, even if we have tons of time. I get SO frustrated and pissed off. But it does seem to really depend on my current mood. Sometimes I can be very patient. It depends on circumstances.But, yeah, I think it's worse when things are out of my control - like waiting in line for a slow cashier, getting stuck in traffic or behind slow drivers, waiting for a friend to show up, when the water won't boil fast enough, when none of the radio stations are playing a decent song.... I can stand it more when it is my own fault.
I also know that a lot of my frustration and anger is basically due to my repression of it. I often don't say anything when I am annoyed or pissed off, and therefore just surpress the feelings and they build up more and more.
Posted by noa on June 22, 2003, at 12:45:10
In reply to Re: Stupid anger, posted by Snoozy on June 21, 2003, at 23:02:14
For me it is the out of my control thing but also if it hits my internal buttons like the "See, I really am helpless" button, or the "see, I really am bad" button or the "I can't do anything right" button, etc. etc.
Posted by Snoozy on June 22, 2003, at 23:30:43
In reply to Re: Stupid anger » Snoozy, posted by yesac on June 22, 2003, at 12:36:15
I'm one of those people always on time, so I've had many years of experience with waiting for others lol. You'd think I'd be better at it by now!
> I feel exactly the same way about waiting for people, even if we have tons of time. I get SO frustrated and pissed off. But it does seem to really depend on my current mood. Sometimes I can be very patient. It depends on circumstances.
>
> But, yeah, I think it's worse when things are out of my control - like waiting in line for a slow cashier, getting stuck in traffic or behind slow drivers, waiting for a friend to show up, when the water won't boil fast enough, when none of the radio stations are playing a decent song.... I can stand it more when it is my own fault.
>When I find myself swearing at the microwave for taking so long, I really start to worry about myself!
> I also know that a lot of my frustration and anger is basically due to my repression of it. I often don't say anything when I am annoyed or pissed off, and therefore just surpress the feelings and they build up more and more.
I hardly ever say anything when I'm angry either. For a lot of the things that get me mad, I realize that it's ridiculous to be upset about them. I'm not good at expressing anger in situations where it is very legitimate, and I would hate to admit to being so overwrought about having to wait 5 minutes for someone. I think I have a tendency to have a passive aggressive response to this sometimes, and I really try to keep that in check. I keep repeating to myself, over and over, let it go let it go let it go.
I think it's also related to my depression. Sort of like, geez it's bad enough I have to be alive but to have to stand around waiting too - come on!! Impeccable reasoning I know ;)
If anyone has found a technique that helps with this sort of thing, I'd love to hear about it.
Posted by noa on June 23, 2003, at 20:42:29
In reply to Re: Stupid anger » yesac, posted by Snoozy on June 22, 2003, at 23:30:43
I used to be always on time, and would be annoyed having to wait for others.
Now, I am always late for everything, and am annoyed with myself about it!
I don't know why I'm always late now--is it from the depression? From the meds? I don't know. Over time, I've developed more ADD-like symptoms. Perhaps from the meds. Who knows. Everything takes me so much longer to do now than it used to. I can't gauge time very well anymore.
So, lately, I've been trying to channel my anger at myself for being late into trying to prevent myself from being late. I'll say, "OK, you hate being late, you hate this feeling of rushing and getting all tense about being late. So why don't you make a point of starting out earlier, of planning how to be able to get out the door on time, etc."
Posted by yesac on June 24, 2003, at 12:10:21
In reply to Re: Stupid anger » yesac, posted by Snoozy on June 22, 2003, at 23:30:43
> I'm one of those people always on time, so I've had many years of experience with waiting for others lol. You'd think I'd be better at it by now!
I tend to be very much on time usually, and it pisses me off when others don't bother to show the same respect/importance to it/me, whether it's an appointment, waiting for a friend or a call or whatever. If they have a good excuse I can get over it, but if there's no excuse it really bothers me.
I realize that some of my anger, like you said, is ridiculous, but I think that still it would be better to say something about how it makes me feel when the person does so and so. Because, yes, I think that I don't say anything and instead try to "let it go" but then it just builds up and I do the passive aggressive thing. I'm just not good with confrontation.
Here's an example: I've been pissed off at my roomate for several days now, and I have just been avoiding her and hoping that I don't have to see her or say anything to her... all because she made a couple of comments the other day that basically hurt my feelings by her bluntness/harshness as I saw it. But I didn't say anything at the time, wondering if she's right and I really am just a b--tch (which incidently is NOT what she even said), and now the incident will end up just "going away" but I don't think I'll be able to really fully get over it.
This is the end of the thread.
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